ini.iijniiiiiii 


THERS' 
OOK 


BURRELL 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 
AT  LOS  ANGELES 


GIFT   OF   CAPT.   AND    MRS. 
PAUL   MCBRIDE   PERIGORD 


UNIVEHSlTl   of  (JALiFUKWJ 
AT 
LOS  ANGELES 
LIBRARY 


C" 


THE 

MOTHERS'    BOOK 


SUGGESTIONS  REGARD- 
ING THE  MENTAL  AND 
MORAL  DEVELOPMENT 
OF   CHILDREN    ::    ::    ::    :: 


EDITED  BY 

CAROLINE      BENEDICT    ^URRELL 

AND  INCLUDING    ARTICLES  BY 

MRS.  ANNIE  WINSOR  ALLEN,  MRS.  MARGA- 
RET E.  SANGSTER,  IDA  PRENTICE  WHIT- 
COMB,  MARION  HARLAND,  MRS.  LOUISE 
E.  HOGAN,  MRS.  ELLEN  A.  RICHARDSON. 
MRS.  THEODORE  W.  BIRNEY,  MRS.  FRED- 
ERIC SCHOFF,  THEODORE  ROOSEVELT, 
EDWARD  W.  BOK,  HAMILTON  WRIGHT 
-■  :•  MABIE,' Ry^LPH-WALDO  TRINE,  N^TI'IANJEL' 
M.    DAV.'SON,  aNP    dr.  .M^Vn^^.  vV/BA?^-. 

-        '     !  '  yy   ',     "        '^     ',       '      -  */  •  ;     .',?•» 


THE  UNIVERSITY  SOCIETY  INC. 

44-60    EAST    23  hd   STREET 
NEW  YORK 


13-5339 


Copyright,  1909,  by 
THE  UNIVERSITY  SOCIETY  INC. 

Copyright,  1907,  bv 
ANNIE  WINSOR  ALLEN 


/6rtof  the  material  in  the  division  on  Child- Training  in  this  volume  is  taken  hy  permission  from 
that  admirable  book  for  mothers,  "Home,  School  and  Vacation,"  by  Annie  Winsor  Allen, 
published  by  the  Houghton  Mifflin  Company,  Boston,  Mass.     From  "The  Mothers' 
Magazine"  we  have  been  given  permission  to  reprint  "Shall  Your  Boy  Fight?" 
by  Margaret  E.  Sangster,  and  "Breaking  His  Will,"  by  Janet  Curtiss.    Much 
valuable  material  also  has  been  selected  by  permission  from  the  Reports  ol 
"The  National  Congress  of  Mothers"  for  1897,  1898.  1899  and  1905. 
Many  of  ths  articles  by  Mrs.  Caroline  Benedict  Burrell  are  in- 
cluded here  by  permission  of  the  publishers  of  them,  Messrs. 
Harper  and  Brothers,  New  York. 


•  •  •    •  •  , 


•    •     <  • 


-1     •««        «••• 


INTRODUCTION 


THIS  hook  is  intended  to  help  the  mother  to  develop 
and  train  her  children  in  the  best  and  wisest  way, 
from  their  babyhood  until  they  reach  adult  years.  It  begins 
with  Suggestions  in  Child-Training,  with  a  Chart  showing 
clearly  how  the  normal  child  passes  from  one  period  of  life 
to  another,  and  suggests  the  helps  he  needs  at  each  stage. 
By  studying  it  a  mother  may  learn  to  deal  intelligently, 
rather  than  at  haphazard,  with  her  growing  boy  or  girl. 

Expanding  many  of  the  ideas  suggested  in  this  first  part, 
the  section  on  Conduct  and  Character-Building  follows, 
taking  up  in  detail  the  various  points  of  character  to  be  im- 
pressed on  a  child's  mind.  How  shall  one  deal  with  such 
difficulties  as  fighting  and  mischief?  How  are  obedience 
and  truthfulness  to  be  inculcated  ?  Shall  the  study  of  nature 
be  taken  up  at  length,  or  left  to  the  schools?  All  these 
and  many  other  important  queries  are  answered  with  help- 
ful thoughts  for  the  mother. 

Certain  stories,  especially  in  relation  to  the  child  in  the 
home  circle,  are  dealt  with  at  greater  length  in  the  section  of 
Development  and  Discipline.  The  food,  dress,  room,  and 
school  of  the  growing  boy  and  girl  are  discussed.  Books 
and  reading,  religious  training,  punishments  and  rewards, 
and  the  fitting  of  a  child  for  life  are  discussed  and  many 
practical  suggestions  are  made.  Following  this  comes  a 
series  of  selections,  given  by  permission,  from  the  addresses 
on  Children  made  by  distinguished  men  and  women  at  the 
Mother's  Congress,  with  an  inspiring  speech  of  President 
Roosevelt's  delivered  at  one  of  its  sessions. 

In  the  final  section  delicate  but  vital  matters  pertain- 
ing to  the  instruction  of  youth  of  both  sexes  during  the 

iii 


iv  introductio:n 

period  of  adolescence  are  presented  with  wisdom  and  dis- 
crimination, based  on  wide  inquiry  and  the  results  of  prac- 
tical experience. 

To  assist  the  mother  who  wishes  to  illustrate  her  teach- 
ings with  stories,  poems,  and  biographies,  references  are 
given  to  those  bearing  on  the  themes  treated  in  this  book,  all 
of  them  to  be  readily  found  in  the  Library.  Children  who 
read  these  for  themselves  or  hear  them  read  aloud  will  have 
the  impression  made  by  the  mother  deepened  on  their  grow- 
ing minds  by  the  excellent  selections. 


CONTENTS 


PAGE 

INTRODUCTION iii 

A  CHART  OF  SUGGESTIONS  IN  CHILD-TRAIN- 
ING         I 

How  to  Use  this  Chart  Correctly — What  May  be 
Learned  from  the  Chart — Help  the  Child  to  Help 
Himself — Behavior — Reading  and  Writing — Science 
and  Art — Exercise,  Games,  etc. — Bed  Hours,  etc. 

SYSTEMATIC  CHILD-TRAINING 12 

1st  year  (Submission;  Obedience;  Self-Control) — 
2d  year  (Imitation;  Reasonableness;  Self-Amuse- 
ment, etc.) — 3d  year  (Self-Direction;  Courage;  Kind- 
ness; Politeness;  Gentleness) — ^4th  year  (Cheerful- 
ness; Sincerity;  Unselfishness) — 5th  year  (Truthful- 
ness, etc.) — 6th  year  (Trustworthiness;  Indepen- 
dence, etc.) — 7th  year  (Reserve  About  Private  and 
Personal  Matters;  Sense  of  Responsibility,  etc.) — 8th 
year  (Respect,  etc.) — 9th  year  (Loyalty  to  Persons; 
Ideals;  Refinement) — loth  year  (Sense  of  Personal 
Honor ;  Keeping  Promises  ;  Precision  in  Execution)  — 
nth  year  (Reverence  ;  Perseverance  with  Long  Plans, 
etc.) — I2th  year  (Loyalty  to  Principle,  etc.) — 13th 
year  (Courtesy;  Chivalry;  Womanliness) — 14th  year 
(Sense  of  Official  Honor,  etc.) — 15th  year  (Demo- 
cratic Spirit;  About  Playmates,  etc.)— 1 6th  year 
(Sense  of  Relative  Values  in  Moral  and  Social  Dis- 

y 


vi  CONTENTS 

tinctions) — 17th  year  (Loyalty  to  Ideals;  Books  and 
Pictures;  Education;  Recreations) — i8th  year  (Sense 
of  Responsibility  toward  Humanity,  etc.) — 19th  year 
(Idea  of  Self-Culture), 

CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING 25 

Ambition — Animal  Study — Application — Appreciation 
of  Art — Athletics  and  Health — Attention — Cheerful- 
ness— Chivalry — Civic  Responsibility — Cleanliness — 
Contentment  —  Conversation — Courage — Culture — 
Curiosity  —  Duty  — Emulation — Firmness  —  Friend- 
ship— Generosity — The  Gentleman — Habits — Hero- 
ism —  Home  Study  —  Honesty  —  Honor  —  Humor 
— Imagination  —  Imitation  —  Industry  —  Investiga- 
tion —  Kindness  —  Loyalty  —  Manliness  —  Manners 

—  Memory-Training  —  Mischief  —  Music  in  the 
Home — Nature-Study  —  Obedience —  Observation  — 
Patience  —  Patriotism  —  Perseverance  —  Play  — 
Pluck — Tenacity  of  Purpose — Reading — Self-Control 

—  Self-Reliance  —  Society  —  Story-Telling  —  Sym- 
pathy —  Thinking  —  Thoroughness  —  Truthfulness 
—Work. 

DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE 117 

The  Child's  Physical  Start  in  Life— The  Food  of  the 
Growing  Child— The  Child's  Dress— The  Child's 
Room — The  Child's  Play  and  Playmates — The  Child's 
Home — The  Child's  School — The  Child's  Reading — 
Parental  Discipline — Obedience  in  the  Child — The 
Child's  Truthfulness — Self-Control  in  the  Child — 
Training  in  Order  and  Punctuality — Child  and  Money 
— Child  and  Handicraft — Music  and  Art  for  the  Child 
— The  Child's  Sunday — Child  and  Nature — Train- 
ing the  Child  for  Life — A  Homelike  Home — The 
Girl  at  Fifteen — Speaking  and  Its  Faults — Associa- 
tion of  Mother  and  Sons — Two  Sorts  of  Impertinence 


CONTENTS  vii 

— Simplifying  Housework — Temper  and  How  to  Meet 
It — Submission — Shall  the  Boy  Stay  in  School? — 
Shall  Your  Boy  Fight? — Naming  the  Baby — May 
Children  be  Noisy? — The  Use  and  Abuse  of  Holidays 
— Fitting  a  Child,  or  Making  a  Child  Fit — A 
Children's  Hour — Children  and  Guests — Bullying — 
"Breaking  His  will" — The  Boy  and  His  Den. 

WIFE  AND  MOTHER 223 

First  National  Congress  of  Mothers — President 
Roosevelt's  Address — Reproduction  and  Natural  Law 
—  Dietetics  —  Character-Building  and  Education  — 
Sympathetic  Parenthood — Training  our  Daughters — 
The  Needs  of  Feeble-minded  Children — Humane 
Education  in  Early  Training — How  and  When  Shall 
We  Teach  Speech  to  the  Deaf? — Alcohol  and  the 
Child — The  Abuse  of  Drugs — The  Importance  of 
Bringing  Youth  in  Touch  With  Great  Literature. 

ADOLESCENCE— WHAT  SHALL  BE  TAUGHT...  264 

What  Shall  be  Taught,  and  Who  Shall  Teach  It?— 
What  Parents  Should  Teach  their  Children — It  Is 
Better  to  be  Too  Early  than  Too  Late — Is  there  Dan- 
ger in  Physical  Books? — The  Best  Book  for  Parents 
—Can  the  Child  Understand  ?— The  Age  to  Tell  the 
Story— The  Objection  to  the  Stork  Story — The  Oft- 
Repeated  Question :   "How." 


A  CHART  OF  SUGGESTIONS  IN 
CHILD-TRAINING 

Prepared  by 
MRS.  ANNIE  WINSOR  ALLEN 

THE  following  Chart  is  intended  as  a  display  and  group- 
ing of  the  Traits  desirable  in  a  Child,  the  Order  in  which 
their  development  may  be  expected  in  the  average  child  and 
the  Age  at  which  Training  for  each  may  profitably  be  begun.  It 
considers  the  child  in  the  four  successive  periods  of  Infancy, 
Early  Childhood,  Later  Childhood  and  Youth,  and  outlines 
the  Path  along  which  Progress  may  most  naturally  and  effec- 
tively be  made  in  planting  and  nurturing  right  Ideas  and  good 
Habits.     It    will    therefore    serve    as    a    Practical  Guide — a 

Calendar  of  Youth 

to  Parents,  reminding  them  from  year  to  year  of  the  Seed-times 
of  Forethought  which  shall  produce  Harvests  of  Character, 

How  TO  Use  this  Chart  Correctly 

To  use  this  Chart  read  it  in  this  fashion,  for  example: — 
In  its  third  year,  along  the  line  of  general  behavior,  an  average 
child  may  be  expected  to  show  a  capacity  for  self-direction:  help 
this  in  every  way. 

In  its  tenth  year,  along  the  line  of  science,  an  average  child 
may  be  expected  to  show  a  capacity  for  understanding  simple 
hygiene:  try  to  supply  it. 

If  you  have  a  child  whom  you  wish  to  develop  well,  look  on 
the  Chart  for  the  year  which  represents  the  child's  age  at  present. 
Read,  in  the  way  shown  above,  all  the  items  suggested  under 

1 


2  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

each  heading.  Consider  whether  the  child  has  had  a  chance  to 
acquire  the  various  traits,  information,  and  accompHshments 
suggested.  If  not,  why  not?  Is  it  carelessness  or  thoughtless- 
ness on  your  part,  or  do  circumstances  make  it  impossible?  If 
he  has  had  the  chance  has  he  seized  it  and  made  good  use  of  it  ? 
If  not,  why  not  ?  Is  he  incapable  or  do  his  capacities  he  in  some 
other  direction?  Finally,  consider  whether  to  do  something 
more  about  it  now,  or  wait  till  later.  Do  not  put  it  off  without 
good  reason. 

Now  read  all  the  suggestions  for  the  years  preceding  his 
present  age  and  ask  yourself  the  same  questions;  and  also 
whether  he  has  stopped  using  or  enjoying  some  good  thing  which 
he  used  to  have  and  ought  still  to  possess. 

It  is  impossible  and  unwise  to  try  to  mention  all  the  good 
traits  a  child  could  have,  and  suggest  a  time  for  beginning  to 
encourage  each.  Every  good  trait  must  be  encouraged  all  the 
time,  especially  by  your  own  good  example. 

What  May  be  Learned  from  the  Chart 

All  that  the  lists  of  this  Chart  seek  to  do  is  to  mention  the 
order  in  which  the  various  kinds  of  good  traits  may  be  expected, 
and  the  earliest  time  when  it  is  fair  to  endeavor  persistently  to 
help  a  child  to  cultivate  them  in  himself.  Of  course,  what  is 
once  begun  in  such  matters  must  never  stop.  We  ask  the  begin- 
nings of  self-control  in  a  little  baby,  but  the  end  of  the  struggle 
will  never  come.  Some  children  will  need  help  in  this  to  the 
end  of  their  lives. 

Have  infinite  patience,  quietness,  and  firmness.  Remember 
all  the  time  that  you  are  simply  helping  the  child  to  grow  right. 
He  cannot  grow  fast.  He  cannot  grow  evenly.  Be  as  patient 
as  you  would  be  with  a  plant,  a  rose-bush  or  a  young  fruit-tree. 
Be  watchful,  and  never  let  him  have  his  own  way  when  his  way 
is  wrong;  but  be  delighted  to  let  him  have  his  own  way  if  there 
is  no  harm  in  it,  now  or  to  come. 

Be  the  children's  companion  in  such  pleasures  as  you  can 
share — reading,  games,  picnics,  etc.  Let  them  talk  freely  to 
you,  even  if  you  do  not  feel  much  interested,  and  try  to  see  what 


CHILD-TRAINING  3 

it  is  that  interests  them.  Get  and  keep  their  confidences  as  much 
as  you  can,  but  do  not  expect  full  confidence  from  every  nature; 
some  cannot  give  it.  If  they  believe  in  your  good  will  and  affec- 
tion, and  respect  your  purposes,  that  is  enough. 

Watch  for  special  talents  and  develop  them  as  much  as  possi- 
ble, whether  they  are  small,  like  a  talent  for  catching  two  balls 
at  once,  or  large,  like  a  talent  for  singing.  Encourage  all  their 
aspirations. 

Help  the  Child  to  Help  Himself 

Encourage  the  children  to  think  for  themselves.  Test  their 
judgment  and  satisfy  their  curiosity  as  far  as  possible. 

At  every  age  avoid  corporal  punishment,  and  as  the  children 
get  older,  throw  them  more  and  more  on  their  own  responsibility 
and  judgment.  Make  leisure  to  discuss  plans  with  them,  and 
show  them  your  reasons  for  your  choice  of  action.  But  do  not 
discuss  when  prompt  action  is  necessary.  Help  them  to  gain 
the  habit  of  ready  obedience. 

Character  is  built  from  the  inside.  At  every  age  watch  care- 
fully the  natural  tendencies  of  each  child  and  try  to  help  each 
one  to  make  the  best  use  of  his  own  special  abilities.  Remember 
that  the  home  has  the  strongest  influence;  school  and  church 
can  only  supplement  that.  Your  own  behavior  is  the  strongest 
influence  your  child  has. 

The  way  to  keep  out  evil  is  to  fill  the  mind  and  the  time 
with  wholesome,  interesting  thought  and  occupations.  Let  your 
watchword  be:  Occupy. 

From  birth,  to  about  five  years  old,  the  children's  natural 
interest  in  learning  what  is  going  on  about  them,  and  trying  to 
do  the  same  things,  is  enough  occupation.  From  five  years  old 
to  about  eleven,  they  will  take  readily  to  the  interests  and  occu- 
pations natural  to  their  age,  if  these  are  offered  them  freely  and 
in  a  spirit  of  good  will.  From  eleven  years  old  on,  they  will  be 
more  and  more  keen  to  choose  their  own  occupations.  Let  them, 
merely  keeping  the  right  to  forbid  the  objectionable  ones,  if 
there  are  any,  and  making  sure  that  they  bring  their  friends 
and  pleasures  home  often  enough  for  you  to  know  about  them. 


THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 


Behavior 


In  the  matter  of  behavior  you  will  notice  that  very  few  virtues 
are  mentioned,  and  you  will  probably  wonder  why  so  many 
necessary  ones  are  left  out.  But  upon  further  consideration 
you  will  see  that  many  terms  are  simply  different  words  for 
the  same  virtue,  or  words  for  some  part  of  a  larger  virtue.  For 
instance,  Gentleness,  Politeness,  Patience,  Generosity,  Sym- 
pathy, Helpfulness,  Etiquette,  Though tfulness,  etc.,  are  all 
words  for  different  parts  of  the  big  virtue,  Kindness.  The  same 
may  be  said  of  different  aspects  of  Self-control,  Trustworthiness, 
etc. 

Reading,  Writing,  Etc. 

Use  this  column  as  a  list  of  suggestions.  No  one  child  will 
do  all  the  things  here  suggested.  Some  children  have  no  taste 
at  all  for  reading,  others  have  no  taste  for  fairy  tales,  etc.  Do 
not  try  to  force  their  taste,  but  give  them  a  chance  to  like  all 
kinds  of  things. 

What  they  do  read  should  be  good  of  its  kind.  The  various 
public  libraries  publish  many  lists.  Encourage  them  to  read  the 
same  good  book  several  times.  Do  not  let  them  "gobble" 
books.  A  book  or  two  a  week  is  plenty  at  any  age.  Good 
books  bring  the  children  in  touch  with  great  minds.  They  shape 
their  ideals  and  stir  their  powers. 

Science,  Etc. 

Use  this  column  as  a  list  of  suggestions.  No  one  child  will 
do  all  that  is  here  suggested,  but  from  it  you  can  get  ideas  of 
how  to  occupy  them  all,  and  what  sort  of  interest  to  expect  at 
each  age.     Some  science  every  child  should  know. 

Art,  Etc. 

Use  this  column  as  a  list  of  suggestions.     No  one  child  will 
do  all  that  is  here  suggested,  but  it  will  give  you  ideas  how  to 


CHILD-TRAINING  5 

occupy  them  all,  and  what  sort  of  skill  to  expect  at  each  age. 
Some  art  every  child  should  gain. 

Exercise,  Games,  Etc. 

Use  this  column  as  a  list  of  suggestions.  No  one  child  will 
do  all  that  is  here  suggested,  but  from  it  you  can  get  ideas  of 
how  to  occupy  them  all,  and  what  sort  of  interest  to  expect  at 
each  age.  Plenty  of  exercise  and  fresh  air  and  games  and  duties 
every  child  must  have.  At  the  age  of  five,  a  child  should  begin 
to  have  daily  duties  about  the  home;  and  from  that  time  until 
they  leave  home  there  should  always  be  duties  for  each  one. 

Bed  Hour,  Etc. 

Use  this  column  as  a  list  of  suggestions,  but  keep  to  it  pretty 
closely.  Many  children  need  more  rest  than  is  here  indicated. 
A  great  deal  of  naughtiness  and  disobedience  is  caused  by 
children  being  overtired.  A  highly  strung  child,  at  any  age, 
needs  plenty  of  rest  and  solitude. 


In  addition  to  those  upon  the  subjects  starred  in  the  Chart, 
essays  will  be  found  in  this  Mothers'  Book  on  many  other 
topics  related  to  character-building,  which  for  one  or  another 
reason  are  not  included  in  the  column  under  that  head.  Among 
them  are  these: 

Ambition,  Heroism,  Play, 

Application,       Home  Study,      Reading, 
Athletics,  Imagination,      Religion, 

Attention,         Manners,  Self-Reliance, 

Conversation,    Memory,  Sympathy, 

Curiosity,  Observation,     Work,  Etc. 


A  CHART  OF  SUGGESTIONS 


BEHAVIOR,  AND 
CHARACTER  BUILDING 
AGE 

♦Submission 
♦Obedience 
♦Self-control 
1 


INFANCY 
(From  birth  to  about  three  years  old) 

READING  AND  WRITING,  ETC. 


SCIENCE,  ETC. 


Qualities  of  matter 
Idea  of  direction 
Idea  of  distance 

.1 

Idea  of  quantity 
Idea  of  causes 
Idea  of  number 
Perception  of  rhythm 


♦Imitation 

♦  Reasonableness 

♦  Self-amusement 


Talking 


♦Self-direction 
♦Courage 
♦Generosity 
♦Gentleness 


"Mother  Goose,"  etc. 
Picture  books 


Idea  of  reasons 

Idea  of  relation 
Distinction  between 
past, present, &  future 


EARLY   CHILDHOOD 

(From  about  three  to  about  six  years  old) 
...3 3.. 


♦Cheerfulness 
♦Kindness 
♦Politeness 
♦Patience 


Listening  to  verses  and  very 

short  stories 
Losing  alphabet  blocks 
Reciting  verses 

Knowing  the  days  of  the  week 


Distinction  between 

fact  and  fancy 
Counting  ten 

Distinction  between 

right  and  left 
Idea  of  growth 


♦Truthfulness 

♦Unselfishness 
♦Tidiness 


♦Trustworthiness 
♦Independence 


Listening  to  myths,  fairy  tales, 

etc.,  read  aloud 
Reading 
Acting  "Mother  Goose,"  etc. 

Knowing  names  of  the  months 

Printing  with  pencil 
.5 


Counting  things 

Names  of  common 
birds  and  flowers 

Adding  and  subtracting 
orally 

^Making  the  Arabic  nu- 
merals 

Idea  of  death 

.5 


Idea  of  birth 
Memori2ing  Understanding  simple 

maps  and  plans 
Combining  numbers 

up  to  10 
Learning  names  ofcom- 
Writing  mon    trees    and    in- 

sects, sea-things,  etc. 
Sense  of  proportion 

♦Articles  on  these  subjects  will  be  found  in  The  Mothers'  Book. 

6 


IN  CHILD-TRAINING 

INFANCY 
(From  birth  to  about  three  years  old) 

ART,  ETC.  EXERCISE,  GAMES,  ETC.  BED  HOUR,  ETC. 


AGE 

Perception  of  light        Using  the  muscles 
Distinction  between     Establishing  hygienic  habits 

sounds                         Creeping 
Using  gentle  voice         Throwing  ball 
1 1 


From  22  hours  to 
16  hours  of 
sleep  a  day 


Lullabys 


Walking 

Using  blocks,  rings,  toys 

with  wheels,  etc, 
Using  spoon  and  mug 
Imitative  movements 

.2 

"Finger  plays" 

"Mother  plays" 

Animal  toys 


Sleep  from 

6  p.m.  to  6  a.m. 

Rest  from 

four  to  two  hours 

.2 

Sleep  from 

6  p.m.  to  6  a.m. 

Rest  from 
four  to  two  hours 


Using  pencil 
Stringing  beads 

without  plan 
Distinguishing 

tastes  and  colors 
Sewing  cards 
Undressing 


EARLY  CHILDHOOD 

(From  about  three  to  about  six  years  old) 
.3 3.... 


Reproducing  singing 
tones 

Partly  dressing 

Cutting 

Picking  up  toys 

Looking  at  good  pic- 
tures 

Distinguish'g  smells 

4 

Singing  scale 

Coloring  pictures 

Sewing  cloth  and 
buttons 

More  difficult  kinder- 
garten work 

Singing  songs 

Use  of  simple  tools 

5 

Dressing  entirely 

Clay  work 

Weaving 

Pasting 

Listening  to  good 
music 


"Button,  button,"  "Barberry-     Sleep  from 

bush,"  etc.  6  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 

Sandpile  play 
Helping  older  people 

Running;  ball  play                          Rest  from 
Taking  walks                                       three  to  one  hours 
Hobby  horse 
Alphabet  blocks 
.4 4 


Helping  with  dishes 
"London  Bridge,"  etc. 
Mud  pies 

Swinging 

Tricycle 

Making  presents  for  friends. 
.5 


Sleep  from 

6  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 


Rest  from 

three  to  one  hours 


Dusting,  brushing  up 
"Going  to  Jerusalem,"  etc. 


Sleep  from 

6  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 


Driving  hoop,  climbing  trees, 

ladders,  etc.  Rest  as  needed 

Marching 


Family  singing 


A  CHART  OF  SUGGESTIONS 


LATER  CHILDHOOD 
{From  about  six  to  about  twelve  years  old) 


BEHAVIOR,  AND 
CHARACTER  BUILDINO 
AGE 

6 


READING  AND  WRITING,  ETC. 


SCIENCE,  ETC, 


6. 


Reserve  about 
private  and 
personal  matters 

♦Sense  of  responsi- 
bility 

♦Punctuality 


Silent  reading  of  poetry,  good 
stories,  science-readers,  etc. 

Writing  letters 

Spelling 

Typewriting 


Combining  numbers 
to  100 

Understanding  world- 
maps  and  the  globe 

Telling  time 
Simple  botany 


t"  Respect 


French  language 

Reading,  both  silent  and  loud, 
and  listening  to  reading  of 
any  suitable  books,  espe- 
cially books  bearing  upon 
school  studies 

.8 


Outline  maps 

Leaf  collecting 
Formal  arithmetic 
Simple  hygiene  ' 
Understanding  birth 

.8 


♦Loyalty  to 
persons 

♦Refinement 


Making  raised  maps 
Flower  collecting 

Simple  physiology 


♦Sense  of  personal 
honor 

♦Precision  in 
execution 


10. 


♦Reverence 
♦Perseverance 
long  plans 


with 


♦Respect  for  Law 
♦Patriotism 


11. 


♦Loyalty  to  principle, 
i.e.,  moral  ideals 


American  history 


.10 

Helping  with  a  home-written 

magazine 
Ancient  history 

Consultation  of  books 
of  reference 


.11 

Keeping  a  journal 

Reading  historical  romances, 

etc. 
Greek  history 


Simple  zoology 
Cabinet  of  local 
natural  history 

.10 


Butterfly  collecting 
Stamp  collecting 
Inventional  geometry 

Reading  of  stories  of 
the  wonders  of  sci- 
ence and  invention 

.11 

Simple  facts  of 

physics  and 

chemistry 


8 


IN  CHILD-TRAINING 

LATER  CHILDHOOD 
(From  about  six  to  about  twelve  years  old) 


ART,  ETC. 


EXERCISE,  GAMES,  ETC. 


BED  HOUR,  ETC. 


AGB 


.6. 


Singing  by  note  orally 
Playing  piano 
Using  hammer,  nails 
Knitting 
Tracing,  etc. 
Some      constructive 
work  every  day 


Doing  some  "  chore  "  regularly 
Dancing,  "French  Tag," 

"Hunt  the  slipper,"  etc. 
Roller  skating,  Jumping  rope 
Swimming 
Rowing 


Sleep  from 

6.30  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 


Sight  singing 

Hemming 

Crocheting 
Modeling 

8 

Lessons  on  a  special 
instrument 

Simple  cooking 

♦Drawing 

Whittling 

9 


Calisthenics, "  Blind  man's 

Buff,"  etc. 
Battledore,  Tops 
Bicycling,  Ice  skating 
Digging 
Picking  berries 

.8 


Sleep  from 

7  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 


.8. 


Sweeping 

Card  games,  "  Dumb  Crambo,"  etc. 

Marbles  Sleep  from 

Driving  7  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 

Weeding 

Harnessing 


Afternoon  concerts 

Darning 

Care  of  doll's 

clothes 
Color  work 
Carpentry 

10 

Basketry 

Printing  press 


Cane  seating 


Washing  dishes 

Ironing  Sleep  from 

Animal  game,  "Coddam,"  etc.         7.30  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 

Sailing,  Fishing 

"Scrub,"  etc. 

Care  of  small  animals 


,10. 


.10 

Housework 

"Authors,"  "Stage  Coach," 

etc.  Sleep  from 

Riding,  Archery  7.30  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 

Milking,  Currying,  etc. 
Kicking  football 


11 

Part  singing 

Turning  lathe 
Embroidery 


.11 11 

Washing  clothes 

"Logomachi,"  "  Spellington"         Sleep  from 

Hockey,  Baseball  8  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 

Cutting  grass,  Pruning 

Purposeful  outings, 


A  CHART  OF  SUGGESTIONS 

EARLY   YOUTH 
(From  about  twelve  to  about  eighteen  years  old) 


BEHAVIOR,  AND 
CHARACTER  BUILDING 


AGE 
12.. 


*Chivalry 

♦Womanliness 
♦Manliness 


13. 


14. 


♦Democratic  spirit 


15. 


♦Sense  of  relative 
values  in  moral 
and  social  distinc- 
tions 


16. 


♦Loyalty  to  ideals 


If. 


♦Sense  of  responsi- 
bility toward 
humanity 

Planning  life  work 


READING  AND  WRITING,  ETC. 


SCIENCE,  ETC. 


,12. 


.12. 


Acting  small  plays  at  home  Keeping  accounts 

Reading  foreign  language  alone     Understanding  sex 


Writing  whatever  original 

composition  is  natural 
Grammar 


Simple  algebra 


♦Sense  of  official 

honor 
♦Social  awakening 


.13 

Novels  of  the  simpler 

realistic  sort 
Simpler  poets 
Latin 

Roman  history 
Biography  (selected) 

.14 


.13 

Keeping  records 
of  weather,  etc. 

Simple  physical 
geography 


Simpler  great  masterpieces 

Famous  passages  in  English 
and  in  foreign  languages 

General  history 

(All  reading  should  be  selected 
from  lists  of  the  best  books) 

.15 


German  language 
Simple  essayists 
Afternoon  theater — comedies 
and  romantic  plays 


.14 

Serious  hygiene  and 

physiology 
Ideas  of  various  and 

sequent  causes  for 

one  result,  and  vice 

versa 
Geometry 

.15 

Names  and  natures 
of  chief  stars  and 
constellations 

Simple  geology 


.16 

Biographies 
Lectures 
Evening  theater 
Rhetoric 

(All]books  to  be  from  a  list  approved 
by  eminent  authorities) 


16 

Solid  geometry 


.17 

Serious  English  novels 
of  the  first  three-quarters 
of  the  19th  century 

Serious  poets  and  essayists 

Civil  government 


.17 

Following  special  or 

general  scientific 

interests 
Trigonometry 


18. 


♦Idea  of  self-culture 


.18 

Tragedies 

Problem  novels  of  real  moral 

and  literary  worth 
English  literature 

10 


.18 

Biology 
Domestic  science 


IN  CHILD- TRAINING 

EARLY   YOUTH 
{From  about  twelve  to  about  eighteen  years  old) 


ART,  ETC. 
AGE 

12 

Sketching 

Scroll  sawing 


EXERCISE,  GAMES,  ETC. 


BED  HOUR,  ETC. 


13 

Carving  wood 


14 

Following  some 
special  talent 


15. 


Design 


.12 12 , 

Sewing  on  machine 

Cooking  meals 

"Geography  game,"  "Andros-      Sleep  from 

coggin,"  etc.  8  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 

Tennis 
Hoeing 
Care  of  large  animals 

.13 13 

General  care  of  house 
Fancy  dancing 
"History  game,"  etc. 
Golf 

Good  walks  and  plenty  of  exer- 
cise 


Sleep  from 

8.30  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 


.14 14 

Evening  game  parties 

"Crambo,"  "Capping  Sleep  from 

verses,"  etc.  9  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 

Competitive  running,  jumping, 

mowing,  etc. 
Special  excursions  for  the 

study  of  nature 

.15 15 

Basketball  Sleep  from 

Football  9  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 

Plowing 

Continue  studious  walks 


16 16 

Evening  concerts  Ordering  meals 

Culture  of  singing         Evening  dancing  parties 
voice 

Long  tramps 


17 17 

Private  theatricals, 

concerts,  etc.  Lunch  parties 

Camping  out  alone 


.16 

Sleep  from 

9.30  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 


Semi-occasional 
late  hovu^ 

.17 

Sleep  from 

10  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 

Occasional  late 
hours 


18. 


Philanthropic 
interests 


.18 

Housekeeping 
Dinner  parties 
House  parties 

11 


.18 

Sleep  from 

10  p.m.  to  7  a.m. 
More  frequent 

late  hours 


CHILD-TRAINING 

EXPLANATORY  NOTES  BY  MRS.  ALLEN  UPON 
SUBJECTS  IN  FIRST  COLUMN  OF  CHART 

First  Year 

SUBMISSION. — The  natural  impulse  of  every  creature  is  to 
do  whatever  comes  into  his  head,  that  is — to  do  as  he  likes. 
The  first  lesson  in  behavior  that  a  human  creature  has  to  learn  is 
that  he  must  always  do,  not  jusl  ivhat  he  likes,  but  what  is  best 
for  him.  Sometimes  this  is  also  what  he  likes.  When  it  is  not, 
he  must  learn  to  submit.  So,  the  first  thing  that  a  baby  must 
learn,  by  experience,  is  that  he  must  lie  in  his  bed  almost  all 
the  time  no  matter  how  much  he  likes  to  be  taken  up;  etc. 

Obedience. — Next  he  must  learn  that  passive  submission 
when  he  cannot  help  himself  is  not  enough.  He  must  do  of 
his  own  will,  many  things  which  he  does  not  just  like  to  do. 
So,  the  next  thing  which  he  must  learn  is  to  stop  when  his 
mother  says  "No!  No!" 

Self-control. — Afterwards  he  must  learn  not  to  do  what  his 
mother  would  say  "No!  No!"  to,  if  she  were  present.  That 
is,  he  must  learn  self-control.  He  must  not  take  the  sugar 
even  if  Mother  is  not  looking. 

Second  Year 

Imitation. — We  are  commonly  told  that  all  which  a  child 
learns,  he  learns  by  imitation  of  his  elders.  But  this  is  not  so. 
A  child  does  not  begin  to  imitate  any  one,  until  he  has  learned 
to  use  all  his  muscles  and  senses  and  has  found  out  how  to  do 
many  simple  things  with  them.  Then  he  begins  to  look  around 
for  more  things  to  do.  It  is  then  that  the  idea  of  imitating 
dawns  upon  him.  Then  he  begins  to  learn  to  talk,  not  merely 
to  make  noises.  Then,  and  not  till  then,  you  can  begin  to  teach 
him  by  showing  how  you  and  other  people  do  things. 

12 


CHILD-TRAINING  13 

Reasonableness. — As  soon  as  a  child  begins  to  understand 
a  few  little  words,  and  long  before  he  can  express  himself  in 
sentences,  you  can  begin  to  explain  the  reasons  for  your  com- 
mands. "Baby,  no,  no  touch  stove!  Bumy,  burny!"  This 
is  the  way  to  draw  out  his  reasonableness. 

Self-amusement. — Every  one  ought  to  be  full  of  resources, 
able  to  amuse  himself  when  there  is  no  one  else  to  be  had.  So 
a  little  child  should  be  left  to  itself  a  great  deal,  to  invent  its 
own  amusements.  Of  course  it  should  be  given  some  simple 
things  to  play  with,  but  a  grown  person  or  an  older  child  should 
not  spend  precious  time  "amusing  the  baby!"  The  baby 
should  amuse  itself.  Besides,  an  older  person,  child  or  adult, 
always  plays  with  more  ideas  than  the  child  himself  would 
naturally  have.  It  is  impossible  for  any  one  older  to  be  as  simple 
as  a  child  really  is.  So  the  society  of  older  playmates  is  a  very 
exciting  thing  to  a  child,  and  he  should  have  but  very  litde  of  it. 
This  applies  to  story-telling  as  well  as  to  games.  Many  con- 
scientious mothers  over-excite  their  children  by  being  over- 
devoted  to  them. 

Third  Year 

Self-direction. — In  all  his  own  small  affairs,  where  he  cannot 
do  himself  any  harm,  a  child  should  have  perfect  freedom  of 
choice.  He  should  choose  for  himself  which  path  he  will  take, 
which  hand  he  will  put  first  into  his  coat,  what  toy  he  will  take 
to  bed,  etc.  And  even  when  you  are  quite  sure  that  he  will 
not  like  it  when  he  gets  it,  let  him  have  it  and  find  out  for  him- 
self— unless  some  real  harm  will  come.  If  he  wants  salt  in  his 
milk,  let  him  put  some  into  part  of  his  milk  and  he  will  learn  for 
himself  very  quickly  how  disagreeable  it  is.  Your  statement 
against  it  would  not  teach  him  or  even  convince  him. 

Courage. — A  child  should  begin  early  to  try  to  conquer  his 
natural  fears,  whatever  they  may  be.  These  are  different  in 
different  children.  Some  are  afraid  of  strange  people,  others  of 
strange  places.  Some  shrink  from  any  new  experience.  Others 
are  afraid  of  animals.  Some  are  terrified  by  swift  motion  or 
loud  noise  or  by  the  very  idea  of  pain.  Each  fear  springs 
from  some  inner  condition  of  the  child,  from  sensitive  brain- 


14  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

centers,  or  delicate  nerves  in  one  organ  or  another.  These 
fears  must  be  overcome  by  self-control.  But  a  child  who  is 
possessed  of  fears  cannot  be  cured  all  at  once  by  forcing  him  into 
violent  contact  with  the  thing  he  hates.  He  must  be  helped 
by  explanations,  by  encouragement,  by  being  shielded  as  far 
as  possible  from  the  extreme  forms  of  his  "bugbears,"  and  by 
feeling  the  sympathy  and  moral  support  of  his  mother  while  he 
is  trying  to  face  the  milder  forms.  But  courage  he  must  learn, 
for  fear  is  the  most  weakening  of  all  emotions,  and  he  who  has 
not  courage  cannot  get  through  this  difficult  and  dangerous 
world  at  all. 

Kindness. — Until  a  child  is  nearly  three  years  he  seldom  has 
imagination  enough  to  begin  to  be  really  kind.  You  may  teach 
him  not  to  pull  the  cat's  tail.  But  that  will  be  because  he  is 
obedient,  or  else  because  he  is  afraid  of  being  scratched.  When 
he  is  nearly  three,  he  can  begin  to  imagine  how  it  would  feel  to 
be  pussy  and  have  his  tail  pulled.  This  is  the  beginning  of 
kindness.  And  kindness  is  the  basis  of  all  the  social  virtues 
— politeness,  gentleness,  etc.,  and  also  of  cheerfulness,  unselfish- 
ness, trustworthiness,  sense  of  responsibility,  honor,  chivalry, 
democracy,  and  self-sacrifice.  If  the  imagination  is  not  early 
used  in  guessing  how  other  people  feel  and  in  trying  to  make 
them  feel  happy,  it  will  prove  dull  indeed  in  later  life,  when  the 
tasks  of  kindness  are  so  much  more  puzzling. 

Fourth  Year 

Cheerfulness. — As  before  said,  cheerfulness  is  a  duty  to  one's 
neighbor.  Incidentally  it  is  also  essential  to  the  best  condition 
of  one's  own  health,  happiness,  and  usefulness.  A  child  should 
be  helped  and  urged  and  joked  into  cheerfulness.  Children 
incline  to  make  much  of  small  woes,  because  they  have  no  sense 
of  proportion.  But  they  can  learn  that  sense  faster  if  they  are 
helped  cheerfully. 

Sincerity. — This  is  the  beginning  of  truthfulness.  Treat  a 
child  always  with  sincerity  and  seriously,  as  he  treats  himself. 
Then  he  will  not  learn  to  pretend  with  you,  in  order  to  please  you 
or  to  avoid  being  laughed  at.     A  little  child  is  naturally  entirely 


CHILD-TRAINING  15 

sincere.      But,  like  all  helpless  creatures,  it  quickly  learns  deceit 
and  affectation,  if  it  is  not  treated  with  fairness  and  kindness. 

Unselfishness. — This  is  singularly  easy  for  some  natures  and 
difficult  for  others.  In  the  first  place  some  natures  have  much 
more  imagination  than  others:  they  are  more  able  to  see  what 
others  probably  want.  Some  again  have  much  more  natural  de- 
sire to  please  than  others :  such  children  will  be  unselfish  merely 
for  the  pleasure  of  pleasing.  Again,  some  have  much  keener 
and  more  concentrated  desires  and  affections  than  others:  such 
children  find  yielding  much  more  difficult.  What  appears  to 
be  selfishness  is  therefore  oftenest  a  mere  lack  of  the  necessary 
knowledge  and  interest.  It  is  a  negative  state.  Selfishness  is 
not  positive,  until  it  includes  an  active  wish  to  deprive  one's 
neighbor  of  an  obvious  good.  Wherefore,  do  not  call  a  child 
selfish.  Simply  teach  him  how^  to  be  unselfish.  Never  mind 
about  giving  it  a  name. 

Fifth  Year 

Truthfulness. — Telling  the  truth  is  very  difficult.  It  seems 
easy  when  you  happen  to  know  the  truth  clearly  yourself,  and 
you  have  no  reason  for  wishing  it  was  not  so.  When  you 
see  your  little  girl  slap  her  playmate  and  call  names,  you  are 
horrified  if  she  tells  you  she  "didn't  slap  and  it  was  the  other 
little  girl  who  called  names."  But,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  she  may 
really  have  been  so  excited  that  she  did  not  know  exactly  what 
she  did  do,  and  so  ashamed  of  her  excitement  that  she  hateS  to 
try  to  remember.  It  is  absolutely  important  that  she  should 
learn  to  notice  what  she  is  about  and  to  remember  clearly  what 
happens,  and  to  tell  accurately  what  she  remembers.  But  the 
way  to  help  her  learn  this  very  difficult  skill  is,  not  to  frighten 
her  by  blame  and  scoldings,  but  to  help  her  to  remember  quietly 
and  to  have  the  courage  to  face  the  truth  even  when  it  disgraces 
herself.  Also  show  her  on  every  possible  occasion  what  harm  of 
many  sorts  comes  about,  when  other  people  fail  to  tell  the  truth 
whether  they  mean  to  or  not.  The  more  imaginative  and  the 
more  sensitive  a  child  is,  the  more  difficult  truth-telling  is.  So 
it  is  not  a  virtue  to  be  inculcated  by  blows  and  alarms,  but  by 
explanations  and  assistance. 


16  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 


Sixth  Year 


Trustworthiness. — This  virtue,  like  all  others,  comes  very 
slowly,  and  it  comes  more  slowly  to  lively  natures  than  to  quiet 
ones.  You  must  begin  early  by  putting  small  trusts  in  propor- 
tion to  the  capacity  of  each  child.  Be  very  careful  to  give  those 
who  find  it  difficult  a  chance  to  learn.  In  many  families  the  quiet 
steady  ones  get  all  the  chances  to  be  trusted,  and  the  careless 
ones  are  never  given  trusts  to  practise  on.  Let  every  child  have 
some  bundle  to  carry  when  you  travel,  but  do  not  give  the 
lunch  or  the  purse  to  the  heedless  one.  Send  forgetful  children 
on  easy  errands,  etc. 

Independence. — All  that  was  said  above  about  self-direction 
is  equally  true  of  independence.  A  child  must  be  independent, 
that  is,  dependent  upon  himself  in  all  the  things  which  he  is 
capable  of  managing  and  understanding.  But  he  must  be 
obedient  and  submissive  in  the  things  which  transcend  his  skill 
or  comprehension.  The  more  independence  you  accustom 
him  to  practise  in  his  own  sphere,  the  more  willing  he  will  be 
to  accept  your  authority  in  the  things  which  you  obviously 
understand  better. 


Seventh  Year 

Reserve  about  Private  and  Personal  Matters. — ^^One  has  to  begin 
even  younger  than  this,  to  try  to  make  a  child  practise  delicacy 
in  mentioning  his  physical  needs  and  ailments.  But  most 
children  are  six  years  old  before  you  can  give  them  ihe  feeling 
of  delicacy,  and  make  them  understand  that  it  is  not  nice  to 
talk  to  outsiders  about  any  affairs  which  are  purely  private  in 
their  interest.  Some  things  arc  only  suitable  for  the  doctor  and 
Mother.  Other  things  are  just  for  the  family,  etc.  This  helps, 
also,  to  prepare  for  a  sense  of  official  honor. 

Sense  of  Responsibility. — This  is  the  more  advanced  form  of 
trustworthiness  and  independence.  It  comes  with  the  in- 
creased sense  of  inner  life. 


CHILD-TRAINING  17 


Eighth  Year 

Respect. — You  may  secure  behavior  in  a  child  of  three, 
which  expresses  respect,  but  the  real  feeling  of  respect  cannot 
come  until  the  child's  imagination  is  active  enough  to  sense  the 
wide  difference  between  his  own  incapacities  and  the  powers  of 
his  elders.  So  one  must  not  wonder  at  the  curious  impudence 
of  small  children.  It  must  be  checked,  but  real  respect  cannot 
come  till  later.  Respect  is  a  consequence  of  appreciation. 
One  cannot  ask  for  it  at  all,  unless  one  has  done  something  to 
deserve  it. 

Ninth  Year 

Loyalty  to  Persons. — Loyalty  is  one  of  the  indispensable 
virtues.  The  power  and  will  to  stick  to  what  we  admire  and 
believe  in,  no  matter  how  hard  that  may  make  our  life — this 
is  the  central  essential  of  a  useful,  noble  life,  and  it  lies  at  the 
core  of  happiness,  too.  The  first  loyalty  possible  is  loyalty  to 
persons  whom  we  love.  Later  we  demand  that  they  be  also 
persons  whom  we  can  admire,  for  we  weary  of  following  what 
we  cannot  be  proud  of.  Later  still,  we  learn  that  even  the  finest 
person  is  sometimes  a  disappointing  guide,  and  so  we  learn  to 
try  to  be  loyal  to  principle,  even  if  it  separates  us  from  our 
friends.  Latest  of  all  we  come  to  our  ideals,  upon  which  and 
for  which  principles  are  built.  To  those  we  can  give  passionate 
unending  devotion,  for  they  have  no  variableness. 

Refinement. — Children  who  are  brought  up  with  gentleness 
and  consideration  are  almost  inevitably  refined  and  nice  in  their 
feelings  and  talk.  They  do  not  need  to  have  their  attention 
called  to  the  beauty  of  refinement,  until  they  come  in  contact 
with  children  who  are  coarse  and  vulgar.  Then  it  becomes 
necessary  to  show  them  how  unlovely  and  unworthy  suoh  talk 
and  feelings  are. 

Tenth  Year 

Sense  of  Personal  Honor. — The  feeling  of  honor  is  so  large 
and  abstract  that  it  is  scarcely  fair  to  talk  about  it  to  a  young 


18  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

child.  But  by  the  time  a  child  is  nine  years  old,  his  ideas  should 
be  large  enough  to  see  the  meaning  of  guarding  his  own  honor, 
so  that  no  one  need  ever  fear  that  act  of  his  has  wronged  a  living 
soul.  "Honor,"  said  an  old  poet,  "is  the  finest  sense  of  justice 
that  the  human  mind  can  frame.  It  guards  the  way  of  life 
from  all  offence,  suffered  or  done." 

Help  him  to  be  scrupulous  in  the  keeping  of  promises — 
in  standing  by  agreements,  appointments,  and  engagements  of 
all  sorts.  "A  promise  must  not  be  broken;  it  must  not  even  be 
altered  or  withdrawn,  without  the  knowledge  and  willing  con- 
sent of  the  other  party.  If  you  say  you  will  be  there,  be  there. 
If  you  agree  to  do  certain  work  for  a  certain  pay,  do  it  all  (and 
a  little  more  besides  if  you  can).  If  you  engage  to  run  a  race, 
do  not  give  up  because  you  think  the  other  fellow  will  beat. 
Do  not  be  a  "quitter"!  Teach  him  this  by  your  own  practice, 
and  by  what  you  expect  of  him. 

Precision  in  Execution. — Of  course,  we  try  to  have  the  children 
do  right  whatever  they  do,  even  when  they  are  very  little.  But 
real  precision  is  not  possible  until  they  have  full  control  of  all 
their  small  muscles  and  of  all  their  own  intentions.  So  we  have 
to  wait  until  they  are  about  nine  years  old,  before  we  can  set 
them  a  standard  of  real  perfection  in  the  tasks  they  have  to  do. 
They  should  have  tasks  within  their  power  and  do  them  really 
well.  The  thing  most  needed  in  business  and  all  practical  life 
is  people  who  will  do  a  thing  right  the  first  time — so  that  it  will 
not  have  to  be  done  over  again. 

Eleventh  Year 

Reverence. — This  is  the  more  spiritual  form  of  respect.  We 
respect  the  things  which  we  have  seen.  We  reverence  the  things 
which  we  have  not  seen — the  invisible  beauties  of  character 
that  make  men  noble,  the  things  of  the  spirit,  the  things  that 
are  sacred. 

Perseverance  with  Long  Plans. — Little  children  have  not  ex- 
perience or  imagination  enough  to  think  far  ahead.  But  no 
one  can  live  wisely  and  well  in  a  civilized  state  without  the  habit 
of  making  long  plans  sensibly.     Ten  years  old  is  none  too  early 


CHILD-TRAINING  19 

to  begin  trying  to  make  sensible  plans  and  sticking  to  them. 
Encourage  children  in  their  pet  schemes,  and  help  them  to  plan 
successfully. 

Twelfth  Year 

Loyalty  to  Principle. — ^This  is  the  wider  stage  of  loyalty.  No 
longer  urge  a  child  to  do  right  because  it  will  please  you  or  be 
like  some  one  else.  Show  him  the  principle  and  make  him 
proud  to  be  loyal  to  that. 

Thirteenth  Year 

Chivalry, — By  the  time  a  boy  is  twelve  years  old,  he  should 
have  known  for  several  years  that  we  are  all  born  of  woman. 
And  he  should  now  learn,  if  he  has  not  learned  before,  that  men 
have  that  life-giving  power  which  makes  it  possible  for  women 
to  bear  children.  And  he  should  feel  clearly  that  the  posses- 
sion of  children,  which  is  the  greatest  blessing  that  a  man  and 
woman  can  gain,  is  possible  only  through  great  self-devotion  in 
the  mother.  Also  he  should  very  soon  understand  the  terrible 
unavoidable  tragedy  of  life  for  a  woman  who  has  a  child  and  is 
without  the  protection  of  the  child's  father.  This  knowledge 
will  of  itself  breed  the  feeling  of  chivalry  in  almost  any  boy. 
But  almost  any  boy  needs  to  be  shown  how  he  can  express  this 
feeling  in  little  every-day  ways.  He  can  raise  his  hat  to  every 
woman,  in  silent  expression  of  the  tenderness  he  feels  toward  her 
womanhood.  He  can  offer  her  a  chair,  or  a  seat  in  public 
places,  recognizing  that  she  may  need  it  much  more  than  he 
does.  In  various  other  ways,  he  can  begin  to  take  the  attitude 
of  protection  and  physical  responsibility  toward  girls  and  women, 
which  will  lead  him  later  to  guard  them  zealously  and  scrupulous- 
ly from  all  masculine  offence,  in  others  or  himself. 

Womafiliness. — A  girl  of  twelve,  on  the  other  hand,  should 
recognize  her  own  woman-function  quite  as  clearly  but  in  a 
different  light.  She  should  feel  that  this  power  of  bringing  life 
into  the  world  is  a  wonderful  privilege,  worth  all  that  it  can  cost 
a  woman,  and  that  the  sacrifice  and  suffering  bring  a  high  glad- 


20  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

ness  which  only  a  woman  can  understand.  She  should  think 
of  herself  as  having  a  high  calling,  for  which  she  must  keep  her- 
self pure  and  strong,  unspotted  and  without  weakness.  The 
physical  trials  she  need  not  think  about.  In  the  end  they  will 
seem  to  her  only  incidental.  The  beauty  and  singularity  of  her 
privilege  should  make  her  humbly  in  love  with  womanliness. 

Fourteenth  Year 

Sense  of  Official  Honor. — One  of  the  commonest  failings  of 
•well-meaning  people  is  a  failure  to  understand  the  special  extra 
reserves  and  silences  which  special  circumstances  demand  of 
them.  A  youth  must  begin  early  to  learn  that  each  special 
position  has  its  own  proper  code  of  honor.  Special  knowledge 
demands  special  reticence.  For  instance,  a  boy  may  speak 
freely  to  his  playmate  about  the  obvious  faults  of  "old  Smith'* 
who  lives  around  the  corner.  But  he  must  not  discuss  his  own 
father's  faults  with  any  one.  In  his  official  capacity  as  son,  he 
owes  a  loyal  reticence.  A  boy  who  begins  by  being  careful  in 
these  ways  will  scarcely  grow  up  to  babble  the  secrets  of  his 
employer,  or  be  dishonorable  in  public  office. 

Fifteenth  Year 

Democratic  Spirit. — From  their  earliest  years  children,  of 
course,  should  hear  their  elders  talk  in  a  democratic  spirit. 
When  the  father  and  mother  talk  about  the  character  of  an  ac- 
quaintance or  of  a  stranger,  they  should  always  pass  judgment 
on  sohd   grounds.     Honorable  dealing  and  fidelity  should  rank 
highest.     Kindness,  generosity,  and  unselfishness,  come  next. 
Cleverness  and  talent  of  all  sorts  count  for  something;  but  good 
looks,  clothes,  houses,  horses,  motor  cars,  elegant  entertaining  and 
all  such  matters,  are  merely  amusing  additions  to  the  person  him- 
self, and  no  child  should  ever  get  the  impression  that  his  parents 
think  them  of  importance.    But  young  children  should  not  be 
taught  to  be  tolerant  of  other  children  who  have  low  standards 
of  behavior.     They  should  condemn  wrong  in  others  just  as 
heartily  as  you  want  them  to  condemn  it  in  themselves.     Toler- 
ance, the  excusing  of  people's  faults  on  the  ground  that  they 


CHILD-TRAINING  21 

know  no  better,  is  not  properly  understood  by  children.  It  is 
most  apt  to  make  them  little  snobs,  condescending  to  those  who 
have  not  had  their  own  advantages.  Or  it  makes  them  think 
that  after  all  these  things  cannot  be  so  very  wrong,  if  Mother 
says  other  children  must  not  be  blamed  for  them.  To  teach 
tolerance,  we  must  wait  until  the  child  has  enough  imagination 
to  see  the  difference  in  different  people's  surroundings,  and  to 
understand  how  complicated  is  the  problem  of  living  aright. 
After  they  are  fifteen,  they  can  begin  to  understand  that  people 
must  be  blamed  and  praised,  not  merely  according  to  what  they 
are,  but  according  to  what  they  might  have  been.  They  must 
begin  to  appreciate  the  responsibility  which  their  own  excel- 
lent opportunity  puts  upon  them  of  being  worthy.  The  demo- 
cratic spirit  gives  every  one  a  chance  and  then  expects  him  to 
use  it  well. 

Sixteenth  Year 

Sense  of  Relative  Values  in  Moral  and  Social  Distinctions. — 
This  virtue  has  no  short  name,  but  it  is  very  important.  We 
need  to  grow  up  with  a  habit  of  easily  distinguishing  between  the 
value  of  clean  speech  and  the  value  of  a  ready  compliment. 
Decency  has  amoral  value;  "blarney"  has  only  a  social  value. 
Telling  the  truth  is  a  moral  necessity;  wearing  fashionable 
clothes  has  merely  a  social  advantage,  it  is  never  a  duty.  Girls 
especially  are  apt  to  get  an  exaggerated  idea  of  the  relative 
importance  of  the  social  "virtues.' '  Both  girls  and  boys  should 
know  by  practical  instinct,  bred  by  the  family  habits,  that 
wherever  a  moral  consideration  clashes  with  a  social  demand, 
the  social  demand  must  always  give  way  as  a  matter  of  course. 
It  is  very  nice  to  entertain  your  friends,  but  it  is  very  wrong  to 
run  into  debt  in  order  to  please  them. 

Seventeenth  Year 

Loyalty  to  Ideals. — This  is  the  highest,  truest,  most  enduring 
kind  of  loyalty.  An  ideal  is  a  picture  in  one's  mind  of  what  is 
best  to  be  and  do  and  have. 

You  admire  Mrs.  A.  because  she  is  so  faithful  and  hard- 


22  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

working,  but  you  are  disappointed  to  find  that  she  is  cross  to 
her  children.  Mrs.  B.  is  loving  and  gentle  but  she  lets  her  house- 
keeping go  at  loose  ends.  Mrs.  C.  is  brave  and  cheerful  but 
she  neglects  both  her  house  and  her  children.  So  you  conclude 
that  it  is  best  to  be  faithful  and  loving  and  brave — all  three. 
You  make  a  i!)icture  to  yourself  of  what  such  a  woman  would  be 
like.  That  is  your  ideal.  You  cannot  find  a  real  woman  so 
perfect,  but  you  would  like  to  see  one  and  you  would  like  to  be 
one.  If  you  are  loyal  to  your  ideal,  you  try  to  be,  each  day, 
as  like  your  ideal  as  you  can.  And  presently,  after  ten  years 
perhaps,  people  begin  to  wonder  what  makes  you  so  much  more 
faithful  and  loving  and  brave  than  most  women  are.  It  is 
because  you  are  being  loyal  to  your  ideals. 

So,  likewise,  with  what  is  best  to  do.  You  know  that  it  is 
best  to  do  your  plain  duty  first  and  quickly;  and  to  leave  as  much 
time  as  may  be  to  enjoy  wholesome  pleasure  with  your  chil- 
dren, and  with  your  husband  if  he  is  so  fortunate  as  to  think 
so  too. 

A  part  of  the  leisure  time,  too,  should  go  to  helping  on  good 
things  outside  home.  You  know  of  no  one  who  does  the  very 
best  that  you  can  imagine  in  these  ways.  You  make  an  ideal 
life  in  your  imagination.  This  becomes  a  very  beautiful  and  a 
very  dear  guide  to  you.  Then,  if  you  are  loyal  to  this  ideal  of 
what  to  do,  you  try  steadily  to  live  up  to  it.  By  and  by,  your 
life  comes  to  resemble  your  ideal. 

Concerning  what  is  best  to  have,  an  ideal  is  harder  to  attain. 
To  be  loyal  to  that  ideal  is  even  harder  still.  So  many  things 
seem  best!  Cleanliness  and  tidiness,  space  enough  in  the  house 
and  out  of  doors,  books  and  pictures,  education,  hired  household 
help,  horses  and  automobiles,  nice  clothes — all  these  things  are 
good  to  have  and  the  best  of  each  seems  the  best  to  have!  I 
do  not  mention  money,  because  money  is  not  good  to  have; 
it  is  merely  good  to  help  us  have  the  things  we  want.  But  the 
more  money  we  have  to  get  the  things  with,  the  harder  it  is  to 
decide  what  is  really  the  best  to  get.  If  you  have  a  clear  ideal, 
however,  the  choice  becomes  easier,  though  it  is  never  simple. 
First,  of  course,  good  friends  and  good  food;  then  next,  cleanli- 
ness and  tidinoss.    This  is  the  best  thing  to  have — the  most 


CHILD-TRAINING  23 

absolutely  necessary  to  comfort  and  health,  not  too  much,  but 
just  enough  cleanliness  to  be  sanitary  and  just  enough  tidiness 
to  be  comfortable  and  convenient! 

Second,  space  enough  in  the  house  and  out  of  doors.  Al- 
ways have  as  much  space  as  you  can  afford,  so  that  the  family 
need  not  run  against  each  other  too  closely  and  constantly. 
Third,  books  and  pictures.  With  a  few  good  books  and  a  few 
good  pictures,  if  he  takes  an  interest  in  them,  one  can  get  along 
very  well  without  an  "education."  Fourth,  education.  An 
education  as  elaborate  as  one  has  the  ability  to  use  well,  is  an 
excellent  help  to  usefulness  and  development.  But  it  is  not 
nearly  so  important  as  the  first  three  good  things.  Fifth, 
hired  household  help.  Many  a  woman  longs  for  this,  when 
she  has  not  the  four  better  things  for  herself  and  her  children. 
The  only  good  of  hiring  help  is  in  order  to  do  some  other  very 
useful  things  which  one  can  do  better  or  at  least  as  well.  Sixth, 
horses  and  automobiles.  I  put  these  before  nice  clothes,  be- 
cause with  them  one  can  do  so  many  pleasant  things,  and  see 
so  many  things  and  people  v/orth  seeing.  Seventh,  and  far  in 
the  rear,  nice  clothes.  Of  course  one  must  have  clothes  of  some 
sort,  and  they  must  be  clean  and  tidy  and  not  very  queer.  It 
is  good  to  have  them  pretty,  too,  if  that  does  not  take  too  much 
time.  But  money  put  upon  clothes  ends  in  the  clothes.  Put 
on  any  of  the  other  six  things,  it  brings  a  long  train  of  other 
valuable  things  behind.  Such  practical  things  as  these  do  not 
seem  the  stuff  from  which  to  make  an  ideal.  Yet  to  live  loyally 
according  to  this  grading  of  values  takes  courage  and  foresight 
and  devotion.  It  takes  all  that  one  can  gather  of  faithfuhiess, 
love,  and  bravery.  It  takes,  too,  all  the  wisdom  that  one  can 
acquire. 

Such  are  the  ideals  of  what  is  best  to  be  and  to  do  and  to 
have.  Happy  the  woman  who  learns  to  make  such  pictures  and 
live  in  their  presence.  Happier  she  who  has,  to  guide  and  aid 
her  in  such  a  life,  the  light  and  strength  of  true  religious  faith. 

Eighteenth  Year 

Sense  of  Responsibility  toward  Humanity. — Much  is  said 
nowadays  about  social   service,   love  of  humanity,   universal 


24  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

brotherhood;  but  this  aspect  of  things  should  not  be  thrust 
upon  children.  Until  they  have  learned  to  be  loving  and  tolerant 
toward  their  brothers  in  the  flesh  whom  they  see  every  day, 
they  are  in  no  position  to  understand  or  practise  tolerance  and 
love  toward  their  human  brothers  whom  they  have  not  seen. 
When,  however,  they  are  close  upon  maturity,  it  is  time  they 
began  to  understand  this  larger  appeal. 

Nineteenth  Year 

Idea  of  Self -culture. — Last  of  all  should  they  take  up  the  idea 
of  self-culture.  One's  duty  toward  oneself  must  ever  be  merely 
the  second  consideration.  So  a  concern  about  self-development 
should  come,  consciously,  only  after  all  other  duties  have  been 
definitely  accepted.  Yet  this,  too,  is  a  duty;  and  when  the  time 
comes  that  the  mother  and  father  can  no  longer  direct  the  child's 
occupations  so  as  to  give  it  the  best  personal  development, 
then  the  child,  now  almost  grown  up,  must  take  up  the  task, 
and  learn  the  duty  of  giving  self  the  best  wholesome  pleasures 
and  enlarging  opportunities,  compatible  with  duty  to  others. 
The  fullest  usefulness  cannot  be  given  without  the  fullest  devel- 
opment. 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER- 
BUILDING 

AMBITION 

TO  the  small  boy  it  is  as  simple  to  be  ambitious  for  his 
future  as  it  is  to  breathe.  Of  course  he  will  grow 
up  to  be  President;  why  not?  Or  if  not  President,  at 
least  he  will  be  rich  or  famous  in  some  way.  It  all  looks  so 
easy! 

But  as  he  grows  older  things  seem  altogether  different.  He 
finds  it  means  continuous  hard  work  even  to  hold  his  own  in 
school  or  on  the  playground,  and  it  is  far  easier  to  let  some 
one  pass  him  than  to  keep  in  the  front  rank.  He  grows,  slowly 
but  surely,  to  understand  that  it  is  going  to  be  exactly  so  in  the 
long  race  of  life;  hard  work  all  the  way  to  rise  to  the  higher 
levels;  and  too  often  he  accepts  the  second  best  as  his  lot,  and 
thinks  it  not  worth  while  to  struggle  toward  the  first.  Perhaps 
he  ceases  to  try  at  all,  as  he  finds  out  that  even  second  best 
things  are  difficult  to  attain,  and  sinks  down  to  the  utterly 
commonplace. 

A  boy  who  has  no  ideals  of  manhood  and  no  ambitions  will 
assuredly  be  a  failure  at  any  calling.  Early  in  his  life,  before 
he  begins  to  realize  that  the  upper  levels  are  hard  to  reach,  he 
must  be  taught  that  work,  hard  and  incessant  work,  is  essential 
to  any  progress,  and  that  he  must  accept  this  as  a  matter  of 
course.  When  this  is  done,  this  one  fact  thoroughly  instilled, 
everything  looks  possible  to  him.  Lessons  are  hard,  of  course; 
but  they  are  meant  to  be  hard!  It  is  almost  impossible  to 
win  a  first  place  in  athletics,  but  at  least  one  can  try  for  it; 
the  prize  in  anythmg  means  a  struggle,  and  if  there  were  none 
there  would  be  no  value  to  the  prize.     It  is  by  dint  of  repeating 

25 


26  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

such  things  to  a  child  that  ambition  is  awakened  and  achieve- 
ment made  to  seem  possible. 

When  the  two  parts  of  the  whole  are  put  together  by  the 
parent,  ambition  and  effort,  and  both  are  constantly  stimulated, 
children  grow  naturally  to  look  on  the  best  things  as  within 
their  reach.  Ignoble  ambitions,  of  course,  may  be  appealed  to, 
carelessly  or  with  intention,  and  a  prize  may  be  made  to  seem 
valuable  for  itself  alone,  or  money-making  or  mere  worldly 
success  attractive;  but  a  conscientious  parent  will  carefully 
avoid  these  dangers.  Boys  especially  are  too  apt  to  think  of 
getting  rich  as  the  end  and  aim  of  life.  The  ambitions  must 
constantly  be  turned  toward  the  higher  planes,  and  philanthropy 
made  to  be  the  end  of  wealth,  not  money  itself;  and  position 
must  be  desired  because  thereby  one  can  do  so  much  for  others, 
not  because  it  will  be  delightful  to  be  more  conspicuous  than 
^other  people. 

Biography  is  one  of  the  great  .stimulants  to  ambition  of  the 
right  sort.  No  one  can  constantly  read  of  such  men  as  Lincoln, 
or  the  late  Governor  Johnson  of  ]Minnesota,  or  of  such  women 
as  Florence  Nightingale  or  Louisa  May  Alcott,  without  desiring 
to  be  like  them.  Such  ambitions  should  be  cultivated  assidu- 
ously in  the  home  and  school,  and  intellectual  and  moral  laziness 
despised.  To  be  somebody,  to  do  something  in  the  world,  should 
be  held  up  as  the  thing  worth  striving  for.  Boys  and  girls  will 
not  fail  to  respond  to  wise  training  that  urges  them  toward  the 
highest  things. 

Foolish  ambitions  are  delightfully  dealt  with  in  ''The  Rats 
and  Their  Son-in-law"  and  "The  Story  of  the  Man  Who 
Did  Not  Wish  to  Die,"  in  Volume  I,  but  a  worthy  aim  will  be 
recognized  in  "The  Juvenile  Orator"  in  the  same  book.  "Mi- 
das, "  in  Volume  II,  shows  the  evil  of  a  selfish  ambition,  while 
"  Dick  Whittington"  in  that  volume  teaches  how  a  poor,  humble 
boy  may  rise.  The  accounts  of  the  travelers  Baker  and  Burton,  in 
Volume  VI,  are  stimulating.  Comj:)arc  the  biographies  of  Ham- 
ilton and  Bismarck  in  Volume  IX;  also  read  the  article  "The 
Start  and  the  Goal.  "  "Girls  and  Their  Mothers,"  in  Volume 
X,  is  recommended  to  the  students  of  that  essay.  All  may  read 
with  profit  "Address  to  the  Indolent,"  a  poem  in  Volume  XL 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         27 


ANIMAL  STUDY 

THE  study  of  animals  should  be  promoted,  not  only  as  a 
part  of  general  knowledge  of  the  world  about  us  (which 
has  been  made  of  value  to  man  mainly  through  their  agency), 
but  because  it  is  necessary  to  our  proper  treatment  of  them 
and  also  to  our  understanding  fully  our  own  place  in  nature. 
Hence  the  attention  of  children  ought  to  be  directed  to  it,  and 
fortunately  there  is  no  subject  in  which  they  are  more  likely 
to  be  interested  when  properly  guided.  Let  them  begin  right 
at  home  with  the  domestic  animals  of  the  farm,  or  the  pets  and 
familiar  visitors  to  the  garden.  There  need  be  nothing  formal 
about  it;  but  only  a  calling  of  their  attention  to  certain  points 
and  comparisons,  from  which  gradually  will  grow  broader 
knowledge,  pleasantly  supplemented  by  reading. 

Supposing,  for  example,  you  confine  yourself  at  first  to  half 
a  dozen  kinds  of  creatures  which  every  child  knows  by  sight — 
a  horse,  a  cow,  a  dog,  a  cat  and  a  squirrel.  In  w^hat  features 
are  all  alike?  Each  has  a  similar  general  form,  a  hairy  coat, 
four  legs,  two  eyes,  ears,  nostrils,  etc.  Some  other  animals 
you  know  also  have  the  two  eyes,  etc.,  such  as  a  bird  or  a  frog 
or  a  fish,  but  these  have  no  coat  of  hair  since  their  skin  is  covered 
with  feathers,  or  with  scales,  or  is  naked;  so  they  are  different 
from  the  cow,  horse,  dog  and  cat,  and  from  each  other.  Thus 
it  appears  that  we  have  various  classes  or  kinds  of  animals — a 
hairy  kind,  a  feathered  kind,  a  scaly  kind  and  so  on.  Some 
day  one  of  the  youngsters  will  interrupt  to  ask  "What  is  an 
animal?"  to  which  it  is  sufficient  to  answ^er  that  it  is  one  of  the 
two  kinds  of  livins;  creatures — that  one  which  can  move  about 
as  it  pleases,  whereas  a  plant,  the  other  kind,  is  fixed  by  its 
roots  in  a  single  spot;  moreover  an  animal  feeds  upon  plants 
or  other  animals  while  a  plant  feeds  generally  upon  substances 
in  the  soil  and  air. 

Now  that  you  have  a  basis  to  work  upon,  go  back  to  the 
familiar  hairy  animals.  How  do  the  five  you  know  best  differ  ? 
Two  are  large,  and  three  are  small;  the  large  ones  eat  only 
grass  and  such  things;  two  of  the  smaller  eat  meat,  and  have 


28  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

very  different  teeth  from  the  other  two,  and  the  squirrel  eats 
nuts,  etc.  and  has  teeth  unhke  any  of  the  others.  Very  well, 
now  take  a  simple  group — how  do  the  horse  and  cow  differ? 
Compare  the  long,  hornless  head  of  the  horse,  and  its  neat, 
single  hoof,  with  the  short,  horned  head  of  the  cow  and  her 
double  hoof.  What  distinctions  can  you  (i.e.  the  child)  see 
between  the  dog  and  the  cat  ?  The  cat  has  a  round  head  and 
no  nose  to  speak  of,  while  the  dog  has  a  long  head  and  muzzle; 
the  cat  has  short  legs  and  a  creeping  gait,  the  dog  longer  ones. 
What  about  the  toes  ?  There  are  five — the  same  number  as  your 
own;  but  the  nails  in  the  dogs  are  strong  and  blunt  and  open, 
while  those  of  the  cat  are  slender  and  sharp,  and  drawn  up 
most  of  the  time  in  sheaths  of  skin.  Then  compare  with  these  the 
limbs  and  claws  of  the  squirrel.  The  differences  mean  a  great 
difference  in  habits,  do  they  not?  What  are  these  habits? 
And  how  are  the  structures  and  habits  related? 

Such  a  method  is  the  merest  suggestion  of  how  any  parent 
may  start  his  smallest  child  aright  on  the  road  to  a  knowledge 
of  animals,  in  a  way  which  will  interest  them  and  open  their 
eyes.  Unfortunately  a  large  part  of  the  reading  designed  for 
children  in  this  direction  is  mere  gush,  or  so  isolated  that  it 
gives  little  or  nothing  upon  which  the  child's  imagination  and 
curiosity  may  build  intelligently.  What  is  wanted  by  a  child 
at  first  is  a  plan  of  study  into  which  every  fact  learned  later  will 
fit,  completing  in  his  mind  an  orderly  structure  of  knowledge. 
There  is  no  reason  why  he  should  not  acquire  his  knowledge  of 
the  animal  life  of  his  country,  or  of  the  world,  as  he  does  his 
knowledge  of  its  geography,  by  getting  first  a  true  outline  map  of 
the  great  divisions,  and  then  litde  by  little  filling  in  the  details,  each 
one  in  its  proper  position.  The  difference  is  that  between  knowl- 
edge and  mere  information — between  a  house  and  a  pile  of  bricks. 

Thus  started,  the  boy  or  girl  will  read  with  enjoyment  and 
comprehension  "  The  Animal  World, "  Volume  V  in  the  Library; 
and  appreciate  properly  the  Animal  Stories  in  Volume  IV. 
Before  the  child  is  far  enough  advanced  to  take  this  subject  up 
for  himself  he  will  have  learned  the  names  of  the  principal 
kinds  of  animals  and  learned  their  leading  characteristics. 
The  fairy  stories  and  droll  tales  and  fables  which  will  be  read 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         29 

to  him  from  Volume  I  are  full  of  allusions  to  them;  and  many 
a  little  rhyme  and  ballad  of  the  nursery,  such  as  "Who  Killed 
Cock  Robin,"  and  "The  Snowbird's  Song,"  turns  the  baby's 
eyes  to  the  window  to  see  the  birdies,  and  inclines  its  heart  to 
their  welfare.  To  many  a  child  the  magic  animals  of  Hia- 
watha's land  will  be  the  feature  of  most  interest  in  the  myth  of 
that  wondrous  hero  of  our  northern  forests,  as  related  in  Vol- 
ume II;  and  it  will  be  pleasant  to  turn  from  it  to  the  real 
zoology  in  Volume  V,  and  find  the  same  animals  as  they  really 
are.  That  would  be  excellent  practice,  too,  with  the  rich  list 
of  Animal  Stories  in  Volume  IV.  Many  of  them  are  gems  of 
fiction,  yet  built  upon  a  basis  of  truth;  and  their  delicate  imagery, 
or  stirring  adventure-,  or  jolly  fun,  as  in  the  delicious  satire  of  the 
boastful  Tartarin's  exploits  with  lions  in  Algiers,  will  lose  nothing 
by  a  little  sober  reading  afterward  on  the  subject  of  each. 

It  is  thus  the  necessarily  brief  accounts  in  the  natural  history 
are  enriched  and  extended.  When  you  have  led  your  son  or 
daughter  to  see  your  cow  as  an  animal  distinguished  by  certain 
peculiarities  he  will  be  ready  for  the  next  step — Chapter  xv  in 
Volume  V.  Then  he  will  learn  that  the  world  holds  various 
other  cattle,  some  wild  and  some  domestic,  and  that  we  used 
to  have  here  in  America  a  kind  of  ox  which  ran  wild  in  great 
numbers.  This  will  interest  him;  and  in  pursuit  of  this  interest 
he  will  want  to  read  in  Volume  VI  the  article,  "The  Buffalo  of 
the  Plains,"  which  describes  how  they  were  hunted  in  the 
early  days;  and  also  the  article,  "In  the  Rocky  Mountains." 
In  these  he  finds  mentioned  various  other  animals — deer, 
pronghorns,  prairie  dogs,  mountain  sheep,  various  birds,  rattle- 
snakes and  so  on.  In  Volume  V  the  means  are  at  hand  to  tell 
him  more  of  these,  and  better  put  them  in  their  proper  place 
in  the  arrangement  of  animal  life. 

t^*         ^%         ^* 

APPLICATION 

APPLICATION  may  be  called  putting  Attention  to  prac- 
tical use.     It  means  not  only  the  ability  to  concentrate 
your  mind  on  the  task  at  hand,  but  the  will  to  keep  it  there,  and 


30  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

to  exert  all  your  powers  toward  completing  it.  It  is  called 
for  in  play  as  well  as  in  work.  You  must  train  systematically, 
you  must  practise  a  certain  length  of  time  each  day,  whether 
you  like  it  or  not,  you  must  play  hard  to  the  final  innings,  or 
you  won't  win.  Problems  cannot  be  solved,  tasks  worth  doing 
cannot  be  accomplished,  except  by  working  steadily  as  well  as 
forcefully.  Hard  work  will  not  count  for  what  it  ought  unless 
it  is  continuous.  It  was  his  steadfast  attention  to  business, 
slow  but  sure,  which  put  the  tortoise  first  over  the  line,  while 
the  hare,  though  spurting  now  and  then,  frequently  stopped  to 
look  after  other  afi"airs  than  the  race  which  was  his  immediate 
duty.  The  English  saying  "It's  dogged  does  it"  expresses  the 
effect  of  application,  bringing  to  mind  the  whole-souled  scratch- 
ing of  a  terrier  in  digging  out  a  mouse,  undistracted  by  anything 
going  on  around  him. 

To  their  power  of  application  most  great  men  attribute  their 
success.  Henry  Ward  Beecher  quoted  a  general  observation 
when  he  declared  that  genius  was  a  capacity  for  hard  work. 
We  may  believe  genius  to  be  somewhat  more  than  this  if  we 
please,  but  we  do  know  that  the  men  who  have  become  great  are, 
as  a  rule,  these  who  could  bend  their  minds  and  energies  sternly 
and  continuously  to  the  subject  they  were  engaged  upon. 
They  could  do  one  thing  at  a  time,  and  see  it  through.  They 
not  only  struck  while  the  iron  was  hot,  but  gave  it  no  time  to 
cool  before  they  hammered  it  into  the  shape  they  desired. 
Application,  then,  is  the  fixing  one's  mind  upon  the  work  in 
hand,  and  keeping  it  there  as  long  as  necessary;  it  is  the  prac- 
tice of  attentive  labor.  Such  ability  is  the  outgrowth  of  the 
faculty  of  attention,  and  is  indispensable  to  profitable  industry. 
Furthermore,  application  is  not  only  the  best  way  to  get  things 
done,  but  gives  more  reward  than  the  good  result  attained, 
for  it  so  trains  the  faculties  that  when,  as  will  surely  happen, 
some  occasion  arises  for  special,  continuous,  strained  eS'ort, 
like  a  college  examination  or  a  business  crisis,  mind  and  body 
will  readily  cope  with  the  emergency,  and  will  survive  the 
ordeal  where  competitors  accustomed  only  to  casual  and  dis- 
connected labor  will  speedily  break  down.  A  dreamy,  desultory, 
inattentive   manner   of   working   will    accomplish   little.     The 


CONDUCT  AHD  CHARACTER-BUILDING         31 

Doy  or  girl  who  is  not  capable  and  in  the  habit  of  application 
is  in  need  of  instant  reform. 

In  Volume  I  of  the  Library  will  be  found  little  poems  and 
stories,  easily  appreciated  by  youngsters,  bearing  upon  this 
topic — read  "The  Three  Brothers,"  "Do  the  Best  You  Can," 
"The  Tortoise  and  the  Hare,"  and  "The  Crow  and  the  Pit- 
cher. "  Chapters  in  "  Robinson  Crusoe, "  Volume  III,  contain 
numerous  instances  of  the  practical  results  of  ingenious  applica- 
tion. "  Goody  Two-Shoes, "  further  on  in  that  volume,  presents 
a  simpler  but  just  as  important  example.  Turn  to  Volume 
VIII  and  you  find  many  successful  scientific  achievements 
owing  their  completion  to  the  habit  of  unflagging  application, 
for  instance  "Wireless  Telegraphy,"  or  "The  Motor  Vehicle," 
or  "The  Flying  Machine."  In  Volume  IX  we  recommend 
the  biographies  of  Thomas  A,  Edison  and  Elihu  Burritt,  also 
the  articles  "Men  of  Pluck"  and  "How  Great  Things  Are 
Done." 


t^w  t^^  ^* 

APPRECIATION  OF  ART 

THE  term  "art"  is  generally  used  in  connection  w^ith  paint- 
ing, music,  architecture,  and  sculpture;  in  the  broader 
sense  it  means  any  embodiment  of  the  sense  or  the  love  of  the 
beautiful.  To  appreciate  the  splendor  of  the  autumnal  foliage, 
the  glory  of  gorgeous  sunsets,  or  the  grandeur  of  mountain 
scenery  attests  the  possession  of  artistic  sense  as  much  as  does 
admiration  of  a  cathedral  or  of  a  sculptured  masterpiece.  There 
is  beauty  everywhere,  in  such  familiar  things  as  field  and  forest 
and  orchard,  as  well  as  in  an  art  gallery  whose  walls  are  adorned 
with  the  masterpieces  of  great  painters.  It  has  been  said  that 
"beauty  exists  in  the  eye  of  the  beholder."  This  is  equivalent 
to  saying  that  there  is  beauty  everywhere  if  only  our  eyes  are 
trained  to  see  it.  The  study  of  art  trains  the  eye  to  see  and  the 
mind   to   appreciate   the   beautiful. 

The  love  of  the  beautiful  in  nature  and  in  art  can  and  should 
be  cultivated.     It  "pays"  because  of  the  pure  pleasure  it  gives 


32  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

and  because  it  is  an  elevating  force  in  character-building.  Boys 
and  girls,  and  we  who  have  reached  middle  age,  can  study  art 
in  sunset  skies  and  snow-crystals,  in  the  plumage  of  birds  and 
the  petals  of  the  rose,  as  well  as  in  paintings,  engravings,  and 
books  about  art.  Don't  forget  that  the  study  of  the  beautiful  in 
nature  and  in  art  will  help  to  lift  you  above  petty  cares  and 
little  disappointments.  It  improves  the  manners  and  refines 
the  mind. 

Half  of  Volume  XII  of  the  Library  is  given  up  to  a  brief 
but  clear  History  of  Art  with  many  fine  photographic  reproduc- 
tions of  paintings,  sculpture,  and  buildings.  This  History  of 
Art  is  so  clearly  and  simply  written  that  it  can  be  read  with 
pleasure  and  profit  by  the  children  and  young  folks  as  well  as 
by  those  who  are  older.  The  chapters  on  art  in  ancient  Greece 
and  Rome,  and  those  on  art  in  modern  Italy  and  France,  may 
well  be  read  in  connection  with  the  geography  and  history  of  these 
countries.  In  Volume  VIII  of  the  Library  there  is  a  long, 
fully  illustrated  chapter  on  the  beautiful  forms  of  water,  dew, 
snowflakes,  etc.  An  article  on  "  The  Potter's  Art"  is  in  the  same 
volume.  In  Volume  X  will  be  found  articles  on  the  "  Expres- 
sion of  Rooms"  and  "Nursery  Decorations."  Be  sure  and 
read  the  description  of  "The  Taj  Mahal"  in  Volume  VI. 
You  will  find  the  nature  poems  in  Volume  XI  interesting. 
Turn,  also,  to  the  biography  of  Palissy  in  Volume  IX. 

^v  %3^  w^ 

ATHLETICS  AND  HEALTH 

BOYS  and  girls  should  be  taught  that  the  ideal  condition 
of  life  at  which  they  should  constantly  aim  is  expressed 
in  the  old  phrase:  "A  sound  mind  in  a  sound  body."  It  has 
frequently  been  remarked  that  nearly  all  successful  men  and 
women — men  and  women  who  have  done  great  things  for 
their  families,  for  their  country  and  for  the  age  in  which  they 
lived — have  been  strong  in  body,  as  well  as  in  intellect.  It 
will  be  profitable  for  the  boy  to  know  that  nearly  every  intel- 
lectually great  man  whom  he  will  learn  to  admire,  and  whom 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         33 

he  ought  to  try  to  emulate,  was  strong  physically  as  well  as 
mentally  and  morally.  George  Washington  and  Abraham 
Lincoln  were  physical  giants.  At  wrestling  it  is  said  that 
neither  of  them  was  ever  thrown.  Lincoln  could  lift  900 
pounds  without  "harness."  And  the  following  famous  men 
all  possessed  great  physical  strength  and  endurance:  Daniel 
Webster,  Benjamin  Franklin,  Henry  Ward  Beecher,  John  C. 
Calhoun,  William  E.  Gladstone,  Count  Bismarck,  John  Wesley, 
Samuel  Johnson,  and  James  A.  Garfield.  See  Volume  IX  of  the 
Library. 

The  girls  should  be  reminded  of  the  fact  that  nearly  all 
great  and  successful  women,  who  did  the  most  efficient  ser\'ice 
in  private  life,  were  physically  strong.  This  is  true  of  such 
splendid  women  as  Jenny  Lind,  Grace  Darling,  Susanna 
Wesley,  Louisa  M.  Alcott,  Adelina  Patti,  Madame  Melba, 
and  a  host  of  others.  There  are  a  few  exceptions,  but  not 
many.  Mrs.  Browning,  for  example,  was  always  physically 
weak  and  delicate. 

Julia  Ward  Howe  possessed  such  splendid  health  and  vigor 
that  she  was  able  to  write  the  "Battle-Hymn  of  the  Republic" 
between  eleven  o'clock  at  night  and  six  o'clock  in  the  morning, 
while  sitting  up  all  night  with  a  sick  child.  No  wonder  that 
she  is  healthy,  happy,  and  vigorous  at  ninety. 

Boys  and  girls  should  learn  that  good  health  can  be 
acquired  by  adequate  exercise.  Theodore  Roosevelt,  a  weak, 
sickly  child  of  ten,  is  a  physical  giant  at  fifty.  Constant  exer- 
cise should  be  vigorously  pursued  from  early  life  to  old  age. 
There  are  abundant  opportunities  for  exercise  in  the  home  by 
the  use  of  dumb-bells,  and  by  other  methods  recommended  in 
the  Library. 

No  father  or  mother,  no  boy  or  girl,  should  fail  to  read  the 
following  articles  in  Volume  X  of  the  Library  in  connection 
with  exercise  and  "keeping  well":  "Care  of  the  Body  in 
Health  " ;  "  Common  Sense  Physical  Training  " ;  "  Exercise  with 
Apparatus";  "  Special  Exercises  for  Women. "  In  fact,  all  of 
the  articles  in  the  department  entitled  "Systematic  Physical 
Training"  should  be  carefully  read  and  the  advice  put  into 
practice,  allowing  for  condition,  age,  and  circumstances.     Little 


34  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

ones  may  be  inspired  to  strengthen  their  bodies  by  calling  their 
attention  to  feats  of  favorite  heroes  in  Volumes  I,  II,  and  VII 
of  our  Library. 

^*  ^*  ^w 

ATTENTION 

IT  would  be  difficult  to  exaggerate  the  value  of  ability 
to  pay  attention — to  fix  and  hold  the  mind  on  a  sub- 
ject of  thought,  whether  the  matter  of  it  reaches  the  brain 
through  eye  or  ear.  This  is  not  natural  to  the  young  but  must 
be  cultivated,  and  should  be  sedulously  taught  because  it  is 
the  most  effective  tool  that  can  be  placed  in  the  student's  hand. 
To  the  boy  or  girl  of  active  intelligence  the  training  of  this  ability 
into  a  habit  is  especially  important,  for  their  quick  interest 
in  all  that  is  going  on  around  them  distracts  them  from  the  task 
in  hand  more  than  is  the  case  with  less  imaginative  minds. 
Without  it  a  subject  is  only  partly  understood — merely  its 
surface  is  scanned  in  a  broad  and  indefinite  way;  the  deeper 
significance  and  relations,  essential  to  real  knowledge,  are  not 
grasped.  Thus  the  impression  left  upon  the  mind  is  vague, 
and  precise  observation  and  learning  becomes  more  and  more 
difficult.  It  has  been  found  by  animal  trainers  that  beasts  are 
teachable  in  proportion  as  they  show  this  quality  of  mind; 
monkeys  and  birds  can  be  taught  but  little,  mainly,  apparently, 
because  they  cannot  be  made  attentive  to  the  lessons.  Samuel 
Smiles,  in  urging  the  importance  of  concentrating  the  mind 
at  will,  declares  that  the  "difference  of  the  intellect  in  men 
depends  more  upon  the  early  cultivation  of  this  habit  than 
upon  any  great  disparity  between  the  powers  of  one  individual 
and  another."  The  art  of  memorizing  rests  largely  upon  the 
faculty  of  shutting  out  other  facts  and  impressions  while  the 
picture  of  the  things  or  words  to  be  remembered  is  printed  on 
the  mind.  This  is  only  one  instance  of  how  attention  is  the 
very  corner-stone  of  study,  and  should  be  the  first  and  constant 
care  of  those  who  seek  to  develop  a  young  intellect.  One  may 
/  begin  almost  as  soon  as  the  child  learns  anything,  by  teaching  it  to 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         35 

look  closely  at  an  object  or  collection  of  them,  and  then  describe 
what  it  has  seen;  by  repeatedly  reading  a  short  story,  then  re- 
quiring it  to  report  what  it  has  heard;  by  insisting  that  it  take 
and  deliver  messages  correctly;  and  otherwise  proceeding  from 
simple  to  more  complex  tests  of  attention  until  a  faculty  and 
habit  have  been  formed. 

Consult  Volume  I  of  the  Library  for  the  first  lessons  in 
attention  under  story  guise,  particularly  "Discreet  Hans," 
"The  Sweet  Soup,"  and  "The  Nail."  Nothing  could  be 
better  to  rivet  a  little  one's  attention  on  the  alphabet  than 
Lear's  "A  Was  an  Ant"  in  the  same  volume.  In  Volume  II  the 
story  "Why  the  Fish  Laughed"  suggests  the  importance  of 
listening  attentively  to  wise  words,  while  the  tale  of  "The 
Purple  Jar,"  in  Volume  III,  teaches  the  value  of  accurate  at- 
tention to  externals.  Close  watch  on  the  wonders  of  nature 
is  presented  in  Volume  V,  and  we  lay  emphasis  on  the  "Walks 
with  a  Naturalist"  and  "Nature-Study  at  the  Seaside."  Then 
read  "Old  Rotterdam"  and  "On  the  Road  in  Russia"  in 
Volume  VI,  for  the  attention  given  to  details  of  travel.  Also 
we  refer  the  student  to  the  biography  of  Newton  and  to  "  Success 
in  Business"  in  Volume  IX.  Good  counsel  on  the  subject 
will  be  found  in  "Lord  Chesterfield's  Maxims"  and  "How  to 
Use  Books,"  Volume  X. 

tff^  t^w  ^w 

CHEERFULNESS 

CHEERFULNESS  has  been  delightfully  called  "the 
bright  weather  of  the  heart."  Let  the  mother  smile 
down  upon  the  babe  that  gazes  tearfully  up  into  her  eyes,  and 
often  out  of  a  peevish  humor  a  happy  spirit  is  at  once  evoked, 
for  an  infant  is  most  sensitive  to  look  and  tone.  Let  her  meet 
its  childish  woes  and  hurts  with  an  encouraging  word,  and  very 
early  it  will  begin  to  take  a  cheerful  view  of  life;  and  how  easily 
it  attaches  itself  to  any  one  with  a  bright  face  and  a  merry 
heart!  We  are  generous  in  the  education  of  our  children,  but 
do  we  not  sometimes  neglect  the  very  important  art  of  cheerful- 


36  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

ness?  Draw  the  child's  attention  to  the  beauty  of  a  rainy  day, 
and  to  the  different  blessings  associated  with  merry  spring,  glow- 
ing summer,  gorgeous  autumn,  and  brisk  winter.  Teach  them 
to  look  more  often  up  into  the  sky  with  its  wonderful  cloud 
effects;  for  the  cheerful  ones  are  always  those  that  look  out  and 
up.  It  is  easier  now  than  in  the  olden  days  to  teach  the  young 
lessons  of  cheer;  for  more  and  more  their  social  betterment  is 
made  a  subject  of  study.  It  was  not  until  late  in  the  nine- 
teenth century,  for  example,  that  children  were  taught  to  sing, 
and  does  not  the  music  thus  brought  into  their  lives  impart 
genuine  pleasure? 

Some  mothers  that  read  these  words  will  sigh  and  say  that 
withal  life  is  a  chapter  of  many  and  varied  experiences,  and  that 
it  is  hard  always  to  be  bright.  Well,  there  are  clouds  it  is  true, 
but  there  is  a  rift  somewhere;  the  best  way  is  to  walk  hand  in 
hand  with  the  children  right  up  to  manhood  and  womanhood, 
trying  to  carry  the  cheer  together,  and  cheerfulness  has  an  abid- 
ing element  that  overcomes  many  obstacles. 

Do  not  worry  your  children  about  things  that  may  never 
happen.  Take  a  lesson  from  the  story  of  St.  Teresa.  When 
on  the  way  to  Alamanca,  to  found  her  convent,  she  spent  the 
night  in  a  ruined  house.  A  frightened  nun  who  accompanied 
her  called  out  to  her  in  the  darkness,  "  I  am  thinking,  Mother,  if  I 
should  die  now,  what  would  you  do  alone  ?  "  and  St.  Teresa,  half 
awake,  replied:  "When  this  even  happens.  Sister,  I  will  think 
what  I  ought  to  do;  for  the  present  let  me  sleep."  A  lady  in 
Leamington,  England,  who  had  been  a  neighbor  of  Frances 
Ridley  Havergal,  with  whose  ministry  of  song  we  are  familiar, 
said  that  Miss  Havergal  never  entered  her  house  but  that  her 
merry  laugh  and  bright  presence  touched  all  hearts.  She  did 
not  repine  at  her  sorrows  or  delicate  health,  but  "  was  always  so 
chcerie. "  And  with  her  we  recall  that  other  Englishwoman, 
Florence  Nightingale,  who  nursed  the  troops  in  the  Crimean 
War,  and  how  when  one  night  a  sick  soldier  saw  her  shadow 
on  the  wall  he  exclaimed,  "Oh,  the  cheer  of  her!"  Think 
how  the  lovable  Sir  Walter  Scott  attracted  alike  children  and 
animals  by  his  genial  words,  and  how  he  would  say,  "  Give  me 
an  honest  laugh!"  And  Oliver  Wendell  Holmes,  who  has  been 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         37 

named  "The  Boston  Bird  with  the  Chirrup  Note" — how  he 
smiled  as  he  \\Tote  and  how  we  smile  as  we  read!  We  have 
lingered  over  these  illustrations  because  they  so  plainly  show 
us  that  the  simplest  way  to  inspire  cheerfulness  is  to  be  cheerful. 
A  great  philosopher  once  said,  "Give  us,  O  give  us,  the  man 
that  sings  at  his  work!" 

Cheerfulness  is  one  of  the  cardinal  virtues.  To  be  sad  and 
gloomy — to  look  on  the  dark  side  of  things  and  grumble — is 
one  of  the  seven  "deadly  sins."  Mothers  and  fathers  will  find 
suggestions  on  this  subject  in  the  following  articles  of  Volume 
X  of  the  Library:  "Cheerfulness  in  the  Home,"  "Grumblers," 
"A  Courteous  Mother,"  and  "A  Spirit  of  Love." 

The  very  little  children  will  be  helped  in  the  direction  of 
cheerfulness  and  happiness  by  the  frequent  telling  and  singing 
of  the  best  nursery  rhymes  and  songs,  such  as  will  be  found  at 
the  beginning  of  Volume  I  and  Volume  XII.  There  is  also  a 
fine  collection  of  "Nonsense  Songs"  in  Volume  XII.  The 
nursery  talcs  and  favorite  poems  in  Volume  I  (pages  32-1  ii), 
should  be  recited  and  read  again  and  again  to  the  little  ones,  and 
they  should  be  encouraged  to  memorize  them  and  sing  and  tell 
them  to  their  parents  and  to  each  other.  This  is  just  as  im- 
portant in  their  development  as  memorizing  the  multiplication 
table.  For  little  children  to  learn  such  poems  in  Volume  I 
(pages  78-180),  as  "Suppose,"  "The  Three  Little  Kittens," 
"There  Was  a  Little  Girl,"  "Where  Are  You  Going,  My  Pretty 
Maid?"  and  to  say  them  over  and  over,  is  a  lesson  in  cheerful- 
ness. Such  stories  and  poems  as  "Puss  in  Boots,"  "The  Man 
in  the  Moon,"  "The  Good  Time  Coming,"  "Contented 
John"  (Volume  I,  pages  120-210),  will  bring  sunshine  and  cheer 
to  any  child.  We  commend  for  the  children  who  are  somewhat 
older  "The  Laughter  Stories"  toward  the  close  of  Volume  I. 
Most  of  them  are  remarkably  interesting  and  should  be  read 
over  and  over  again.  Later  on,  the  boys  and  girls  will  find 
inspiration  in  the  direction  of  cheerfulness  in  the  life-sketches 
of  such  heroic  characters  as  Julia  Ward  Howe  and  Abraham 
Lincoln  (Volume  IX). 

In  Volume  III  there  are  many  cheery  and  delightful  little 
stories,  including  "  Don  Quixote, "  and  "  Uncle  David's  Story." 

-/      «'>    ii»-     f\ 


38  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

In  Volume  XI,  in  the  departments  entitled  "  Girlhood  Days" 
and  "Boyhood  Days,"  there  will  be  found  such  dehghtful 
and  charming  poems  as  "A  Knot  of  Blue,"  "The  Barefoot 
Boy,"  etc. 

t^*  t^*  ^w 

CHIVALRY 

MAY  not  the  twentieth-century  mother  bring  her  lad  or 
maiden,  a  lesson  from  the  brave  days  of  old?  The 
maxim  of  the  knight  of  medieval  chivalry  was  devotion  to 
arms,  compassion  for  the  oppressed,  and  regard  for  women. 
The  boy  of  seven  became  the  lady's  page;  if  he  proved  faithful, 
at  fourteen  the  rank  of  squire  was  conferred  upon  him;  and  at 
twenty-one  he  was  dubbed  "Sir  Knight."  A  romantic  light 
is  thrown  over  these  ancient  warriors;  their  feats  of  arms  and 
brilliant  tournaments;  and  if  we  inquire  into  the  moral  of  their 
deeds,  we  will  find  it  revealed  in  Spenser's  "Faerie  Queen," 
or  in  Chaucer's  "Canterbury  Tales" — pictures  of  chivalric  hfe, 
full  of  lessons  of  truth  and  friendship,  of  justice  and  courtesy. 

And  these  lessons  are  more  needed  to-day  than  in  the  age 
when  fierce  temptations  assailed  the  intrepid  knight.  It  is 
true,  that  we  do  not  commit  our  page  to  the  mistress  of  the 
lordly  castle;  but  does  he  not  in  his  own  home  find  constant 
opportunity  to  practise  obedience,  courage,  truthfulness,  and 
courtesy,  and  those  other  virtues  that  make  for  prompt  and 
humane  action?  Our  young  squire  with  wheel,  ball  game, 
and  races  may  easily  become  athletic  for  life's  physical  contests; 
and  the  knightly  armor  should  always  be  ready,  with  its  coat 
of  mail,  strong  in  its  greaves  and  linkings  of  truth,  its  breastplate 
of  character,  its  shield  of  faith,  and  its  sword  of  purpose  and 
courage.  The  knight  need  not  sally  forth  on  deeds  of  errantry 
and  adventure,  or  seek  the  spoils  of  war;  his  valor  may  be 
displayed  in  deeds  of  kindness,  and  in  fearlessness  in  resisting 
temptation. 

And  then  his  purest  chivalric  expression  is  found  in  his 
devotion  to  women.  And  what  is  more  lovely  than  the  love 
for  mother  that  should  be  deeply  implanted  in  the  heart  of  every 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         39 

youth  and  maiden  ?  At  a  feast  once  given  in  a  baronial  hall, 
each  knight  was  asked  to  drink  to  his  "ladye  fair."  And 
St.  Leon,  the  noblest  of  the  guests,  "  envied  by  some,  admired 
by  all,"  pledged  his  mother!  Every  loyal  mother  by  her 
winning  personality  may  claim  the  same  holy  love  and  rever- 
ence from  her  true  knight.  A  chivalrous  character  early 
implanted  in  any  boy  or  girl  develops  a  heroic  manhood  and 
brave  womanhood.  And  as  life  is  full  of  surprises,  be  prompt 
and  vigilant.  Adopt  the  motto  of  the  noble  Black  Prince: 
"I  Serve!"  and  let  the  sen-ice  be  like  that  of  Chevalier  Bayard: 
"Without  fear  and  without  reproach." 

For  nursery  folks  a  few  simple  threads  of  chivalry  are  woven 
into  "Sleeping  Beauty"  and  "Pretty  Goldilocks,"  both  in 
Volume  I  of  the  Library;  and  in  Volume  II  there  are  stories 
of  wider  appeal  illustrating  this  splendid  spirit — read  "  Perseus, " 
the  King  Arthur  stories,  "Roland,"  and  "Robin  Hood."  In 
Volume  III  are  "Don  Quixote,"  Chaucer's  "Emelia,"  and  the 
chapter  "Hector  and  Andromache,"  in  the  "Iliad."  Volume 
IV  contains  "Wee  WiUie  Winkie"  and  "Undine."  "The 
Forty-seven  Renins"  in  Volume  VII  is  a  stirring  chapter  of 
Japanese  chivalry;  and  with  that  volume  in  hand  read  the  essay 
on  "Sir  Phihp  Sidney."  Poems  bearing  on  the  subject  in 
Volume  XI  are  "Lochinvar,"  "Marmion  and  Douglas," 
"The  Glove  and  the  Lions,"  and  "Sir  Galahad." 

(^*  <^w  ^w 

CIVIC  RESPONSIBILITY 

EVERY  lad,  as  he  approaches  manhood,  should  be  imbued 
with  the  idea  that  fitting  himself  for  citizenship  is  a 
patriotic  duty.  As  he  shares  in  the  protection  and  other 
benefits  which  the  organization  of  society  and  the  government 
of  the  country  afford,  so  he  must  feel,  under  our  republican 
institutions,  a  responsibility  for  their  maintenance  and  good 
conduct.  The  government  is  "of  the  people"  and  "by  the 
people"  as  well  as  "for  the  people."  It  is  what  the  people 
make  it;  but  the  danger  is  that  too  many  may  forget  or  neglect 


40  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

their  duty  and  leave  to  others,  who  may  be  thinking  more  of 
their  own  than  of  the  pubhc  advantage,  the  whole  control  of 
affairs. 

Every  citizen  has  a  share  in  the  responsibility  of  the  nation, 
or  any  part  of  it,  as  his  State  or  city  or  rural  district,  to  be  well 
governed.  He  cannot  escape  it.  Unless  he  informs  himself  as  to 
questions  of  policy,  and  exerts  his  influence  toward  what  he  is 
convinced  is  the  best  policy;  and  unless,  when  he  can  vote,  he 
gives  his  ballot  to  the  best  man  or  set  of  men,  so  far  as  he  can 
ascertain  those  best  calculated  to  carry  out  that  policy  in  the 
conduct  of  public  affairs,  he  is  wronging  his  neighbors  and  his 
country.  He  cannot,  in  a  republic,  delegate  that  responsibility 
to  "the  politicians"  nor  to  any  one  else.  It  is  his  business  to 
get  all  the  light  he  can  on  each  public  question,  and  then  to  do 
what  he  can,  by  influence  and  by  vote,  to  put  his  convictions 
into  effect. 

The  girls  should  be  taught  that  they,  too,  bear  a  similar 
responsibility,  from  which  they  are  not  exempted  because 
they  cannot,  in  most  cases,  cast  a  vote.  They  can  study  pub- 
lic questions,  and  arrive  at  conclusions,  and  instruct  others, 
and  bring  to  bear  a  powerful  influence  upon  the  voters  of  their 
family  or  acquaintance.  For  failure  to  do  so  they  are  equally 
answerable  with  the  men.  But  boys  and  girls  should  be  taught 
to  realize  that  for  every  shortcoming  in  either  local  or  general 
government  they  are  responsible  to  the  extent  that  they  might 
have  spoken  and  worked  against  it. 

Civic  duties,  or  the  duties  of  citizenship,  are  numerous. 
Perhaps  most  of  them  may  be  considered  by  the  boy  or  young 
man  along  the  following  lines:  i.  Obedience  to  law.  2.  Honor 
in  taking  an  oath,  and  the  avoidance  of  perjury.  3,  Fidelity 
in  office,  doing  full  duty  and  avoiding  bribery  and  "graft." 
4.  Duty  involved  in  the  ballot,  registering,  primary  elections — 
honor  in  voting.     5.  The  dignity  and  honor  of  citizenship. 

In  the  Library  will  be  found  (Volume  VII,  beginning  page  374) 
admirable  articles  on  the  duties  of  citizenship  by  the  late  Presi- 
dent Cleveland,  Theodore  Roosevelt,  Cardinal  Gibbons,  and 
many  others.  In  Volume  XI  the  poems  under  "Country  and 
Flag"  should  be  read,  and  we  suggest  that  at  least  two  of  the 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         41 

poems  be  committed  to  memory.  Perhaps  "  The  Star-Spangled 
Banner"  and  "The  American  Flag"  will  appeal  strongly  to 
most  boys  and  girls.  "Defending  the  Fort"  in  Volume  IV 
is  a  good  story  for  the  little  folks.  The  story  of  William  Tell 
in  Volume  II  bears  strongly  on  the  question  of  civic  duty.  A 
great  deal  of  profit  may  be  had  by  a  close  perusal  of  the  biogra- 
phy of  Thomas  Jefferson  in  Volume  IX. 

*^W  ti?*  \^m 

CLEANLINESS 

UNDER  this  title  we  wish  to  say  a  few  words  to  boys  and 
girls,  but  especially  to  boys,  about  cleanliness  of  body 
and  mind.  To  be  clean  and  neat  is  your  duty  to  yourself 
as  well  as  to  your  associates.  Is  that  sentence  true,  or  is  it 
not  true?  What  a  wretched  world  this  would  be  if  all  faces 
were  dirty,  all  hair  was  uncombed,  and  everybody's  clothes 
were  covered  with  filth! 

Boys  and  girls,  we  are  not  going  to  write  much  on  this 
subject,  because  it  is  not  necessary.  You  can  ponder  over  it 
and  arrive  at  a  sensible  conclusion  just  as  well  as  we  can.  Per- 
haps you  might  do  some  thinking  and  reasoning  in  connection 
with  this  subject  along  the  following  lines: 

Cleanliness  of  body,  hands,  face,  nails,  etc.;  cleanliness 
of  clothing,  shoes,  books,  etc.;  cleanliness  and  neatness  every- 
where and  all  the  time  as  far  as  possible. 

It  seems  to  us  that  "cleanliness  of  mind"  is  a  correct  ex- 
pression. This  means  that  you  will  avoid  swearing  or  the  use 
of  low,  mean  language.  Swearing  is  a  nuisance  to  all  well- 
bred  men  and  women.  It  is  in  bad  taste,  and  bad  taste  indi- 
cates bad  breeding.  We  believe  it  is  generally  admitted  that 
a  gentleman  never  swears.  Perhaps  this  statement  is  not 
wholly  true,  for  it  is  difficult  to  decide  just  who  are  and  who  are 
not  gentlemen.  We  are  sure,  however,  that  if  a  gentleman 
ever  forgets  himself  and  swears,  he  is  ashamed  of  it  afterward. 
Boys,  don't  indulge  in  low,  coarse  talk.  Avoid  vulgar  words, 
vulgar  stories,  and  vulgar  jokes.     Don't  write  obscene  words 


42  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

on  fences  or  walls  or  sidewalks.  We  don't  believe  that  you, 
young  readers,  have  done  or  will  do  any  of  these  things,  but 
you  should  go  further  than  that — -you  should  show  your  dis- 
approval of  them.  If  a  boy  or  a  man  tells  you  a  coarse  story 
or  low  joke,  don't  knock  him  down,  although  he  deserves 
it;  just  listen  in  cold  silence,  and  the  vulgar  fellow  may  not 
repeat  the  offence.  Be  pure  of  speech;  it  will  help  you  to  live 
a  pure,  true,  and  noble  life. 

Cleanliness  of  thought  and  speech  are  exemplified  in  the 
little  poem,  "The  Boy  who  never  Told  a  Lie,"  and  in  the  fairy 
tale,  "Toads  and  Diamonds,"  both  in  Volume  I  of  the  Library. 
We  also  advise  the  reading  of  "Sir  Galahad  and  the  Sacred 
Cup"  in  Volume  II,  and  the  poetical  version  of  the  subject 
in  Volume  XL  The  poem  "Be  True,"  in  the  latter  volume, 
is  recommended  for  memorizing.  How  to  maintain  cleanliness 
of  body  and  dress  is  treated  in  "Hints  for  Happiness"  and 
" Care  of  the  Body  in  Health"  in  Volume  X. 

^*  ^*  ^w 

CONTENTMENT 

IN  the  present-day  world  perhaps  one  of  the  rarest  things  to 
be  met  with  is  the  spirit  of  contentment.  Everybody 
is  striving  to  get  more  than  they  have,  of  money,  or  position, 
luxury,  or  power.  How  few  have  the  sane,  placid  spirit  of 
contentment,  and  how  benign  are  those  who  do  have  it! 

Often  children  learn  in  the  nursery  to  be  discontented  just  be- 
cause they  already  have  too  much.  The  number  of  toys  a  baby 
may  own  is  usually  unlimited  in  any  way;  he  may  have  as  many 
as  are  given  him,  and  the  more  the  better.  Perhaps  if  only  he  has 
one  new  one  for  each  restless  moment  it  may  content  him  and 
keep  him  quiet,  reasons  his  mother  and  his  nurse;  and  so  some- 
thing fresh  is  handed  him  whenever  he  throws  down  the  old  toy 
he  has  been  holding.  Nothing  could  be  more  unwise;  he  will 
grow  into  a  child  who  demands  more  and  more,  and  is  restless 
and  dissatisfied  of  spirit. 

It  is  far  better  for  children  not  to  have  too  many  things,  too 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         43 

much  amusement,  too  much  attention  even,  if  one  would  cul- 
tivate in  them  a  contented  mind.  The  tendency  to-day  is  all 
toward  excitement  and  stimulation,  and  children  are  quite 
as  ready  as  grown  people  to  crave  these  things.  If  one  would 
start  a  child  on  the  road  to  contentment,  it  is  better  to  give  him 
a  quiet  nursery  with  fresh  air  and  sunshine  for  the  luxuries, 
and  let  him  learn  early  to  amuse  himself,  not  to  depend  on 
being  amused,  and  to  make  much  of  a  few  toys  rather  than  to 
play  with  many  and  tire  of  them  all. 

To  praise  common  things  is  one  way  of  giving  a  child  a 
contented  mind.  When  he  hears  his  parents  speak  delightedly 
of  the  sunny  morning,  or  of  some  little  plant  which  has  come  up 
unexpectedly,  or  of  the  joy  of  the  little  home  circle,  he  learns 
that  these  are  the  important  things  after  all,  and  his  little  heart 
responds  to  the  demand  made  upon  it.  These  are  the  real 
things,  those  which  content  father  and  mother  and  give  them 
happiness,  and  they  appeal  to  the  child  even  more,  with  his 
more  limited  knowledge  of  the  larger  world. 

Training  in  contentment  lies  in  the  home  far  more  than 
outside.  School  may  train  in  other  w^ays,  but  here  the  influence 
of  the  closest  environment  is  what  tells  in  the  long  run.  A 
contented  mother  makes  a  contented  child.  A  home  where 
no  one  says  "I  wish  we  had  this  or  that,"  and  is  dissatisfied 
because  of  the  lack,  but  where  conditions  are  accepted  as  not 
only  right,  but  pleasant,  or  at  least  to  be  made  the  best  and  most 
of,  is  the  place  where  one  grows  up  with  the  sweet  spirit  of  satis- 
faction with  things  as  they  are. 

Such  contentment  is  quite  consistent  with  ambition,  and  it 
neither  narrows  one's  outlook  nor  tends  to  lethargy.  It  is  the 
opposite  of  restlessness,  and  the  greed  for  pleasures  and  un- 
attainable luxuries;  it  is  the  calm,  quiet  influence  that  is  sorely 
needed  in  this  generation,  and  is  priceless  to  its  possessor. 

"Contented  John"  and  "For  a'  That,"  poems  in  Volume  I, 
are  especially  worthy  of  note,  and  so  is  the  charming  Andersen 
tale,  "The  Fir  Tree,"  in  that  volume.  In  Volume  II  read 
"Baucis  and  Philemon,"  or  turn  to  Volume  III  in  which  are 
"Simple  Susan"  and  "Prince  Life."  The  "Alice  and  Phoebe 
Gary"   article  in  Volume  IX  illustrates  the  contentment  of 


44  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

those  simple,  gifted  sisters.  In  Volume  X  an  essay  on  "  Grum- 
blers" will  be  found.  Poems  in  Volume  XI  relating  to  the 
topic  of  content  are  "Ode  to  Sohtude, "  "If  We  Knew,"  and 
much  of  the  "  Deserted  Village. " 

t^*         f^f         g5* 

CONVERSATION 

THERE  is  no  doubt,"  remarks  an  observer,  "that  the 
common  conversation  of  the  fireside,  the  table-talk 
of  the  family  circle,  influences  to  a  great  degree  the  joy  or 
sorrow,  the  excellence  or  the  inferiority,  of  home  life.  For, 
however  silent  we  may  be  in  other  places  ....  we  have  not 
much  hesitation  in  speaking  exactly  how  and  what  we  wish  at 
home."  If  this  be  true  it  is  plain  that  while  there  cannot  be 
too  much  of  a  feeling  of  perfect  freedom,  there  is  also  need  of 
care  in  the  leaders  of  the  family,  who  have  power  to  control  the 
familiar  daily  chat,  keep  it  within  bounds,  and  lead  it  in  right 
directions.  For  home  talk  is  sure  to  make  a  lasting  impression 
upon  the  younger  members  of  the  household.  They  will  un- 
thinkingly take  from  it  not  only  their  manner  of  speech,  but 
their  opinions  and  their  standard  of  morals,  so  that  their  char- 
acters will,  to  a  great  extent,  be  formed  by  it. 

Good  conversation  is  an  art  that  all  young  persons  are 
anxious  to  acquire,  but  they  will  never  excel  in  it  unless  they 
are  accustomed  ^to  well-expressed  and  high-toned  talk  at  home. 
It  is  useless  to  expect  children  to  speak  grammatically  and  with 
proper  phraseology,  however  carefully  instructed  at  school, 
unless  the  rules  and  niceties  of  language  are  habitually  ob- 
served in  their  own  houses.  We  speak  of  one's  language  as 
his  mother  tongue,  meaning  that  the  child  uses  the  speech 
of  his  mother.  He  will  use  it  rightly  or  wrongly,  with  coarse- 
ness or  refinement  (at  any  rate  in  his  younger  years)  as  he  hears 
and  imitates  it  daily  from  her  lips.  Family  intercourse,  then, 
should  be  more,  on  the  whole,  than  mere  gossip.  Children 
should  be  led  to  talk  about  things  and  events  rather  than  of 
acquaintances  and  their  trivial  doings — least  of  all  about  them- 
selves.    This  does  not  shut  out  an  abundance  of  neighborhood 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         45 

news  and  personal  interests,  yet  prevents  idle  chatter  cr  some- 
thing worse.  Home  talk  should  be  courteous:  bickering  is 
vulgar,  and  criticism  of  each  other  by  parents  in  the  presence 
of  the  young  folks  is  impossible  in  a  well-regulated  family.  No 
matter  how  frank  and  positive  your  assertions  keep  your  voice 
gentle  and  your  language  polite.  Rudeness  is  worse  to  your 
friends  than  it  would  be  to  strangers.  Avoid  slang — at  any 
rate  new  and  silly  slang.  It  is  bad  enough  to  use  it  on  the 
playground:  do  not  bring  it  into  the  house  any  more  than  you 
do  the  mud  on  your  shoes,  which  it  may  be  hard  not  to  pick 
up,  but  which  is  not  worth  keeping.  You  can  be  just  as  jolly 
without  it,  and  won't  be  in  danger  of  forming  a  habit  that  will 
plague  you  when  you  go  among  people  of  refinement. 

Conversation  is  not  a  school,  but  a  means  of  mental  enter- 
tainment and  relaxation.  It  is  like  a  game  in  which  each 
catches  and  tosses  a  ball  as  it  comes  near,  others  waiting  at- 
tentively imtil  the  ball  suddenly  bounds  their  way,  when  it 
must  be  promptly  returned  for  the  general  benefit.  Attention 
and  a  readiness  to  do  your  part  at  the  right  moment,  is  the  life 
of  the  game.  To  be  a  good  talker,  socially,  you  must  be  a 
good  listener,  and  courteously  considerate.  "Take,  rather 
than  give,  the  tone  of  the  company  you  are  in,"  was  Lord 
Chesterfield's  admonition  to  his  son. 

Let  your  reminiscences  and  stories  generally  illustrate  what 
the  company  has  been  discussing;  and  make  them  brief  and 
sharply  pointed,  trimming  off  unnecessary  details.  The  art  of 
telling  a  story  crisply  and  dramatically  is  one  of  the  highest 
accomplishments  of  those  who  are  really  social  lights;  and  it  is 
an  accomplishment  worthy  of  some  study  and  private  practice. 
Popularity,  as  well  as  courtesy,  requires  you  to  listen  well  to 
any  jest  or  anecdote  thrown  out.  Absent-mindedness  acts  on 
conversation  as  water  does  on  fire.  A  considerate  person  will 
avoid  introducing  any  topic  likely  to  be  unpleasant.  "  Do  not 
speak  of  ropes  in  the  house  of  one  who  has  been  hanged,"  is  a 
worthy  old  proverb.  Likewise  avoid  subjects  likely  to  arouse 
harsh  differences  of  opinion. 

A  useful  hint  to  beginners  in  the  social  path  is  this:  When 
you  know  that  you  are  to  meet  a  stranger,  or  a  company,  pre- 


46  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

pare  for  it.  Try  to  learn  something  of  the  characters  and  tastes 
of  the  persons  in  view,  and  think  what  would  be  appropriate 
and  pleasant  to  say  to  each  of  them,  and  what  you  would  most 
like  to  hear  from  them.  With  such  preparation  you  will  hardly 
be  caught  with  empty  mouth,  because  your  mind  will  not  be 
empty  of  ideas;  and  after  all  a  full  mind  is  the  best  equipment 
for  easy  and  delightful  conversation. 

A  poem,  "The  Chatterbox,"  in  Volume  I,  is  an  excellent  little 
lesson  in  itself;  also  "Jack  and  His  Master,"  a  humorous 
story  in  that  volume,  demonstrates  the  value  of  carefully  chosen 
words.  "Harisarman"  and  "Why  the  Fish  Laughed"  in 
Volume  II  show  the  use  of  happy  phrases.  In  Volume  III 
both  "Trial"  and  "The  Sore  Tongue"  are  to  the  point.  Most 
of  these  will  appeal  to  the  youngest  readers.  Older  boys  and 
girls  will  find  profit  in  studying  the  wonderfully  chosen  words 
of  "The  Declaration  of  Independence"  and  Lincoln's  "Second 
Inaugural"  in  Volume  VII,  and  in  Volume  IX  they  are  advised 
to  read  the  biographies  of  Daniel  Webster,  Henry  Ward  Beecher, 
and  Margaret  Fuller  Ossoli.  Among  "Lord  Chesterfield's 
Maxims"  and  in  "Table-Talk,"  Volume  X,  will  be  found 
good  counsel  about  conversation.  The  playlets  in  the  same 
volume,  if  committed  to  memory,  ought  to  prove  helpful. 

^v         v^         t^* 

COURAGE 

ALL  parents  want  their  boys  to  be  courageous,  and  would 
like  to  see  them  heroes,  yet  often  train  them  away 
from  these  ideals,  or  allow  others  to  do  so.  Such  a  mistake 
may  easily  begin  in  the  cradle.  No  child  would  ever  be  afraid 
of  the  dark,  which  gradually  approaches  each  evening,  any 
more  than  of  the  sunbeams  that  dissipate  it  at  dawn,  did  not 
somebody  fill  its  little  head  with  stories  of  hobgoblins  hiding 
among  the  shadows. 

If,  in  spite  of  precautions,  such  needless  fears  get  into  the 
child's  mind,  do  your  best  to  convince  it  that  they  are  unreal; 
that  the  bedroom  is  as  safe  by  night  as  by  day;  and  gently 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         47 

cultivate  stoutness  of  heart.  No  quality  is  more  essential  to 
happiness.  A  timid  child  is  in  constant  misery.  It  imagines 
imreal  terrors  in  each  new  experience,  and  magnifies  diflficulties. 
It  is  ever  on  the  lookout  for  harm,  and  thinking  of  its  own 
weakness  instead  of  that  of  the  foe.  So  it  shrinks  from  effort 
for  fear  of  getting  hurt. 

A  courageous  nature,  on  the  other  hand,  dares  joyously  to 
put  forth  its  whole  powers,  undaunted  by  rivalry.  It  does  not 
retreat  at  the  first  rebuff,  nor  the  second,  but  struggles  on. 
It  withstands  oppression,  and  resists  pressure  upon  its  rights. 
Sometimes  courage  appears  as  physical  bravery,  as  when  a 
boy  risks  injury  in  order  to  do  something  that  greatly  needs 
doing,  or  when  he  defends  his  rights  or  honor,  or  a  weaker  com- 
panion, with  his  fists.  Fighting  among  boys  is  surely  not  to 
be  encouraged;  yet  when  your  son  comes  home  with  a  black 
eye  and  sore  knuckles,  inquire  carefully  into  the  cause  of  the 
fight  and  his  feeling  about  it  before  you  condemn  him.  Some- 
times a  fight  may  even  be  worth  while  as  disclosing  to  a  timid 
boy  the  undeveloped  manliness  which  he  really  possesses.  A 
brave  nature  is  a  gentle  one,  but  gentleness  may,  under  bad 
management,  degenerate  into  weakness  and  cowardice,  and 
cowardice  is  usually  at  the  bottom  of  meanness. 

The  highest  courage,  nevertheless,  is  that  which  is  able  to 
put  aside  a  temptation  to  fight  merely  to  show  bravery,  or  for 
some  other  poor  reason;  which  will  enable  a  boy  or  girl  to 
smile  at  a  taunt  that  everybody  knows  is  undeserved;  and 
which,  on  the  other  hand,  will  enable  a  boy  or  girl,  a  man  or 
woman,  to  champion  an  approved  idea  or  person,  however 
unpopular  with  others,  and  stand  fast  to  the  end  of  the  chapter. 
Physical  courage  is  a  good  thing,  but  moral  courage  is  above 
it.     It  is  your  privilege  to  teach  your  child  to  have  both. 

Boys  and  girls,  won't  you  do  some  thinking  about  courage, 
and  look  up  the  word  "courage"  and  the  word  "heroism"  in 
the  dictionary?  Then  ^^Tite  a  short  essay  on  the  subject,  ar- 
ranging it  under  the  following  subdivisions:  (i)  True  courage— 
that  is,  daring  to  do  right  and  daring  to  defend  the  right;  (2) 
false  courage— daring  to  do  or  to  defend  the  ^^Tong;  (3)  true 
courage   shown   in  bearing   unjust   censure   or   unpopularity; 


48  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

(4)  courage  in  times  of  danger  or  misfortune;  (5)  the  difference, 
if  any,  between  courage  and  heroism. 

Nearly  every  volume  of  the  Library  contains  a  poem,  article, 
or  story  teaching  the  great  quality  of  courage.  Volume  VII  is 
almost  wholly  devoted  to  heroic  deeds,  while  Volume  VI  is 
replete  with  the  daring  and  hardihood  of  explorers  and  ad- 
venturers. Then  turn  to  our  biographical  volume  (IX),  and 
you  find  it  full  of  courageous  men  and  women.  But  for  very 
small  folks  we  can  recommend  "Hansel  and  Gretel,"  "The 
Hardy  Tin  Soldier,"  and  "Jack  the  Giant-Killer"  in  Volume  I; 
"Cadmus,"  "Perseus,"  "Beowulf,"  and  "Roland"  in  Volume 
II;  the  Iliad  tales  in  Volume  III;  and  "Defending  the  Fort," 
"The  Boatman's  Story,"  and  "Wee  Willie  Winkie"  in  Vol- 
ume IV.  Many  poems  of  valor  and  bravery  are  in  Volume  XI: 
among  others  see  "The  Charge  of  the  Light  Brigade,"  "In- 
cident of  the  French  Camp,"  "Marco  Bozzaris, "  and  "Sheri- 
dan's Ride."  Every  boy  should  memorize  at  least  the  last 
two. 

x^i         (j5*         ^* 

CULTURE 
{See  "Home  Study,"  "Manners,"  and  "Reading.") 

:f       Jf       Sf 
CURIOSITY 

CURIOSITY,"  in  the  definition  of  a  French  writer  on 
the  mental  life  of  children,  "is  the  mind  in  quest  of 
knowledge.  .  .  It  will  show  itself  from  the  first  months,  with 
the  first  glance  brought  to  bear  on  things,  with  the  first 
movement  of  the  hand  to  seize  and  feel  a  thing."  It  is  the 
mainspring  of  intelligence.  The  young  mind,  like  the  young 
body,  needs  exercise  in  order  to  grow.  Curiosity  is  the  stimulus 
which  urges  it  to  seek  new  sensations,  novel  impressions,  for 
which  there  is  constant  hunger,  and  out  of  which  are  formed 
new  ideas.  The  more  it  explores  its  world,  the  further  it  widens 
its  circle  of  possible  knowledge;  and  when  it  becomes  able  to 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         49 

talk,  its  means  of  satisfying  its  curiosity  are  immensely  in- 
creased, for  now  it  can  ask  about  things,  the  mere  seeing  or 
touching  of  which  is  unsatisfying.  Then  arrives  that  trying 
period  when  the  little  one  wishes  to  take  part  in  everything—  is 
always  "under-foot, "  and  follows  us  with  perpetual  question- 
ings. He  already  has  learned  the  appearance  of  many  things; 
now  he  begins  to  notice  their  connection,  and  that  each  object 
or  act  has  a  cause,  a  meaning,  or  a  certain  regularity  of  oc- 
currence. Hence,  besides  his  constant  inquiry  "What  is 
that?"  come  the  endless  "Whys?"  and  "Hows?"  which  so 
tax  our  patience.  Some  of  this  is  mere  chatter— an  egotistic 
desire  to  be  continually  noticed  and  served;  and  such  behavior 
a  wise  parent  will  repress;  but  largely  it  is  legitimate,  and  due 
to  the  restlessness  of  the  growing  mind,  astonished  at  the  host 
of  unexplained  things  constantly  met  with. 

It  is  characteristic  of  this  stage  that  almost  any  answer  will 
be  accepted,  partly  because  of  the  child's  entire  faith  in  us,  and 
partly  because  in  its  wondering  state  of  mind  every  marvel 
seems  possible.  It  is  just  because  it  is  so  easy  to  abuse  this 
dawning  and  trustful  intelligence — to  lead  their  minds  astray 
by  careless  answers — that  parents  and  others  ought  to 
be  cautious  and  conscientious  in  what  they  say.  When  a 
chance  offers,  they  ought  to  show  the  little  questioner  how  he 
may  find  out  for  himself  the  facts  he  wants  to  know  and  more 
besides.  It  is  even  possible,  now  and  then,  to  set  him  in  the 
way  of  thinking  out  answers  to  questions  which  he  asked  be- 
cause he  did  not  yet  know  how  to  study.  Above  all  things 
be  honest  with  him.  It  is  a  crime  against  innocence  to  amuse 
oneself  by  deceiving  a  child.  "  When  it  is  impossible  to  respond 
seriously  to  his  ill-timed  and  inopportune  questions,  it  is  better 
to  answer  simply  'I  do  not  know,'  or,  'You  cannot  understand 
that  at  your  age,'  than  to  play  upon  his  good  faith." 

The  difference  between  the  right  and  wrong  sort  of  curiosity 
may  be  aptly  shown  by  comparing  "Pandora,"  Volume  II, 
and  "The  Inquisitive  Girl,"  Volume  III,  with  some  of  the 
simple,  suggestive  poems  in  Volume  I,  such  as  "Twinkle, 
Twinkle,"  "Foreign  Lands,"  and  "The  Wind,"  which  set 
forth  the  natural  questioning  of  the  child-mind.     In  Volume  V 


50  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

"Walks  With  a  Naturalist"  will  prove  stimulative  to  the  eager 
young  enquirers.  Volume  VI  in  the  Library  is  replete  with 
results  of  the  enquiring  spirit,  but  special  attention  is  di- 
rected to  the  article  "The  Lost  City  of  Petra. "  Scientific 
curiosity  fills  Volume  VIII,  and  we  urge  the  reading  of  the 
section  "Astronomy,"  and  "The  Habits  of  Ants,"  and  "  Spiders 
and  Their  Ways."  In  Volume  IX  the  biographical  sketch  of 
Franklin  contains  much  of  value.  Also,  in  this  connection,  read 
"Hints  on  Education,"  Volume  X,  and  "The  Barefoot  Boy," 
Whittier's  poem,  in  Volume  XL 

(^*  (^W  (^W 

DUTY 
{See   "Honor,"    "Honesty,"    and   "Loyalty.") 

^*  ^V  (^W 

EMULATION 
(See  "Imitation  and  Emulation.") 

t^w  ^w  ^y% 

FIRMNESS 

FIRMNESS  is  as  necessary  to  character  as  is  stability  to  a 
house.  The  biographies  of  eminent  men,  such  as  those 
outlined  in  Volume  IX,  show  that  they  possessed  it  in  a  high 
degree,  or  they  would  not  have  accomplished  the  deeds  for 
which  they  are  honored.  Having  planted  their  feet  upon  a 
certain  position  they  maintained  it  stoutly  and  unwaveringly. 
Thus  Columbus  stood  against  mutinous  protests  till  a  new 
world  was  reached;  thus  Martin  Luther  withstood  his  opponents 
with  dauntless  resolution;  so  Wellington,  "fair-square  to  all 
the  winds  that  blew,"  held  his  ground  at  Waterloo  and  saved 
Europe  from  tyraimy;  and  so  Thomas  earned  his  title  of 
"the  Rock  of  Chickamauga. " 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         51 

"Firmness  in  the  right,  as  God  gives  us  to  see  the  right, "  was 
the  great  maxim  of  Abraham  Lincoln.  Firmness  implies  that 
judgment  approves  of  your  position  and  reason  assures 
you  that  the  object  in  view  is  worthy  of  exertion,  and  is 
attainable. 

But  firmness,  steadfastness,  must  be  distinguished  from 
obstinacy,  which  is  firmness  wrongly  exercised.  The  word 
obstinacy  carries  the  idea  of  unreasonable  stubbornness  toward 
argument  or  persuasion^self-will  in  its  disagreeable  aspect. 
It  usually  arises  from  ignorance  and  egotistic  pride,  and  is  a 
mark  of  prejudice  and  narrow-mindedness — a  disposition  to 
believe  nothing  that  cannot  be  seen. 

Sad  to  say,  obstinacy  is  more  often  displayed  in  women  than 
in  men,  mainly,  perhaps,  because  women  in  general  have  less 
breadth  of  experience  together  with  greater  positiveness  of 
conviction  than  men.  It  is  also  more  characteristic  of  age 
than  of  youth,  yet  is  often  seen  in  children,  whom  it  makes 
most  difScult  to  govern;  for  an  obstinate  child,  compelled  to 
submit  by  force,  yet  "of  the  same  opinion  still,"  is  in  danger 
of  becoming  "sly."  This  disposition  then,  is  very  undesirable. 
Marcus  Aurelius  declares  that  "a  child  who  hath  been  obstinate 
in  his  youth  will  suffer  in  his  old  age." 

A  good  method  of  combating  obstinacy  is  to  cultivate  breadth 
and  openness  of  mind.  Point  to  history  and  show  how  incessantly 
the  unexpected  has  happened,  how  men  have  seen  carried  to 
success  what  they  have  loudly  declared  impossible. 

It  is  a  curious  fact  that  the  most  obstinate  children  are  often 
very  sweet  in  temper.  They  are  as  unruffled  by  argument  as 
is  a  duck  by  rain,  and  as  impervious  to  it  as  are  the  bird's 
feathers  to  wet.  But  the  duck,  though  placid,  is  a  stolid 
bird,  and  not  admirable  for  a  model  for  a  bright  boy 
or  girl. 

The  best  appeal,  perhaps,  will  be  through  ridicule.  Obsti- 
nacy is  pig-headedness.  An  obstinate  child  will  not  like  that 
name  for  it,  and  may  seek  to  avoid  the  reputation.  Show 
him  examples  from  his  own  acquaintances  of  persons  who  were 
"dead  sure"  they  were  right,  in  the  face  of  all  other  opinion, 
yet  turned  out  to  be  laughably  mistaken. 


/ 


52  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Both  poems,  "The  Spider  and  the  Fly"  and  "The  Fox  and 
tne  Crow,"  in  Volume  I  of  the  Library,  teach  simple  litde 
lessons  of  being  firm.  "Theseus"  in  Volume  II,  and  the 
chapter  dealing  with  Telemachus  in  "Odysseus,"  Volume  III, 
have  similar  messages.  Also  parts  of  "Pilgrim's  Progress," 
Volume  III,  are  suggestive  of  good,  unyielding  resolution. 
In  Volume  VI  look  up  the  "First  Voyage  of  Columbus"  and 
"Arctic  Perils."  The  wonderfully  firm  character  of  William 
the  Silent  is  shown  in  "The  Defense  of  Leyden,"  Volume  VII; 
another  fine  example  of  determined  purpose  in  that  volume  is 
in  "The  Founding  of  New  England."  Biographies  to  the 
point  in  Volume  IX  are  those  of  Martin  Luther  and  Emma 
Willard.  For  older  folks  we  recommend  "The  Inhumanities 
of  Parents"  and  "Training  the  Will"  in  Volume  X.  We  urge 
for  old  and  young  the  memorizing  of  some  of  the  lines  in  Lo- 
well's "Abraham  Lincoln"  and  Tennyson's  "Ulysses,"  to  be 
found  in  Volume  XL 

ft5*        t3^        t^* 

FRIENDSHIP 

EVERY  mother  realizes  what  supreme  objects  of  interest 
children  are  to  children;  and  this  is  well,  for  they 
should  not  live  only  with  older  people,  but  should  have  happy 
relations  with  those  of  their  own  age.  And  they  are  such 
imitators  that  they  are  very  easily  molded  by  those  with  whom 
they  come  in  contact,  being  either  hindered  or  helped  by  their 
associations.  The  fear  of  the  boy  getting  into  loose  company 
hangs  like  a  nightmare  over  thousands  of  homes  to-day.  Some 
parents  refuse  absolutely  to  let  their  boys  go  out  in  the  evening, 
feeling  that  they  cannot  get  into  trouble  if  they  are  kept  at  home; 
but  such  unjust  confinement  works  its  own  harm.  With  good 
companions  the  boy  is  sometimes  safer  at  entertainments  at  a 
neighbor's  home  than  if  kept  strictly  in  his  own  house.  Encour- 
age games,  innocent  evening  recreations,  and  outdoor  physical 
sports.  Let  the  boys  work  off  their  surplus  energy  in  such  natu- 
ral channels.     A  boy  placed  on  his  honor  is  always  more  depend- 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         53 

able  than  one  watched  and  suspected  every  hour  of  the  night. 

If  they  make  vulgar  and  evil  friends,  we  see  them  reflected 
in  their  own  speech  and  manners;  while  gentle  and  truthful 
ones  are  as  perfectly  reproduced.  Every  child  is  known  by  the 
company  it  keeps.  So  let  the  mother,  without  prejudice  or 
seeming  to  be  over  watchful,  know  her  children's  companions 
and  study  their  character,  for  only  thus  can  she  help  in  selecting 
the  right  sort  of  friends.  But  such  childish  friendships  are 
often  fickle;  the  more  enduring  ones  are  usually  formed  by 
those  in  their  teens,  and  it  is  then  that  the  subject  must  be 
faced  most  seriously  and  intelligently,  and  when  the  mother-love 
must  be  most  intimate  and  assertive.  The  mother  is  the  wise 
counselor  to  whom  her  children  look  for  guidance  in  right 
impulses  and  cool  judgment.  She  should  teach  them  to  be 
kind  toward  all,  but  to  beware  of  shallow  friendships  and  of 
the  flattery  and  insincerity  of  those  who  find  every  one  whom 
they  meet  "after  their  own  heart."  Honest  friendship  is  a 
passion  so  intense  that  it  can  be  shared  with  but  few;  but  it  is 
well  to  remember  Emerson's  remark  that  "the  only  way  to  have 
a  friend  is  to  be  one." 

Under  all  its  humor,  "The  Cat  and  the  Mouse  in  Part- 
nership," Volume  I,  tells  a  tale  of  a  mismated  pair;  and 
in  that  volume  of  the  Library  will  be  found  "The  Straw,  the 
Coal,  and  the  Bean,"  and  "Hans  in  Luck,"  which  contain 
warnings  against  heeding  advice  from  the  ^^Tong  sort  of 
friends.  Several  chapters  of  "Pinocchio's  Adventures  in 
Wonderland"  (Volume  I)  point  the  same  moral.  In  Volume 
II  read  "Roland,"  and  in  Volume  III  find  the  themes  of  friend- 
ship in  the  "Iliad,"  the  "Odyssey,"  "Emilia"  and  "Amend- 
ment." Effects  of  good  and  evil  acquaintance  can  be  seen 
in  "Oliver  Twist,"  Volume  IV,  and  animal  friendships  in  the 
same  volume  are  these:  "A  Field-mouse  Tale,"  "Frisky- 
toes,"  "Rab  and  His  Friends,"  "My  Lion  Friend,"  and 
" Black  Beauty."  A  useful  essay  in  Volume  X  is  "The  Choice 
of  Companions."  Get  by  heart  some  of  the  poems  in  the 
"Friendship"  division  of  Volume  XI,  particularly  "We  Have 
Been  Friends  Together,"  "A  Wayfaring  Song,"  and  "Bill 
and  Joe." 


54  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 


GENEROSITY 

« 

THE  little  child  comes  into  the  world  with  a  generous  and 
loving  heart.  He  will  divide  with  any  one  his  toys  or 
his  candy;  it  is  only  when  life  opens  more  before  him  that  he 
becomes  selfish  and  wants  everything  for  himself.  The  pity 
of  it  is,  that  parents  are  to  blame  for  this  state  of  things,  and 
for  the  stunting  of  the  lovely  natural  impulses  of  generosity. 
Sometimes  it  is  merely  that  they  are  careless  and  thoughtless 
about  it,  and  do  not  definitely  try  to  keep  the  child  in  his  best 
mood;  sometimes  it  is  force  of  example;  and  sometimes  both. 

It  is  a  help  to  generosity  when  a  child  has  to  share  his  play- 
things and  belongings  of  all  sorts  with  his  own  brothers  and 
sisters;  then  he  learns  that  he  cannot  have  everything  in  the 
whole  world  for  himself  alone;  the  ojily  child  is  the  one  who 
usually  grows  up  selfish.  But  even  when  the  nursery  is  a 
training-school,  still  a  parent  must  daily  watch  the  child  and 
try  and  have  him  want  to  give  up  his  own  wishes,  his  own 
things,  to  those  about  him. 

Thanks  and  praise  are  both  valuable  in  this  training.  When  the 
child  comes  home  from  school  and  gives  the  mother  a  flower,  she 
must  be  grateful  for  it,  put  it  in  water  carefully,  and  show  appre- 
ciation of  the  kind  thought.  This  little  warming  of  the  child's 
heart  is  a  lesson  in  itself;  it  seems  worth  while  to  be  generous  and 
give  pleasure  when  such  a  reward  comes.  Of  course  this  is  but 
the  rudimentary  part  of  generosity,  and  one  must  give  and  divide 
with  no  hope  of  reward  when  the  higher  stages  of  character 
are  reached;  but  at  first  it  is  best  to  show  the  child  how  lovely 
and  how  pleasant  it  is  to  give  generous  thought  for  others. 

The  higher  praise  of  the  mother,  however,  should  be  reserved 
for  those  things  that  have  the  element  of  self-sacrifice  in  them. 
When  it  costs  to  be  generous,  then  indeed  it  is  worth  while! 
The  child  that  denies  itself  to  give  to  some  one  who  is  in  need 
should  be  told  Cj[uietly,  and  by  itself,  that  this  is  the  real  generos- 
ity, and  of  the  sort  that  makes  father  and  mother  proud  and 
happy.  The  child  must  not,  of  course,  be  praised  before 
others  in  such  a  way  as  to  make  him  vain,  for  one  may  be 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         55 

generous  for  vanity's  sake,  even  in  adult  years;  the  praise 
should  be  given  perhaps  at  bedtime,  or  in  some  quiet  hour, 
when  the  lesson  will  sink  deep. 

It  is  also  necessary  to  teach  a  child  to  be  generous  graciously. 
It  is  possible  to  bestow  favors  in  such  a  way  as  to  make  them 
utterly  valueless;  the  words  of  Lowell,  "the  gift  without  the 
giver  is  bare,"  should  be  impressed  in  spirit  as  well  as  in  letter 
on  the  growing  mind.  Better  not  to  give  at  all,  one  might 
say,  that  to  give  in  such  a  way  as  to  spoil  the  gift. 

Sometimes  the  idea  of  generosity  is  mixed  with  the  idea  that 
money  value  counts  in  a  gift.  This  is  a  fatal  mistake.  The 
service  of  love,  the  trifling  gift,  is  worth  as  much  as  the  giving 
of  money  or  of  what  has  cost  money.  The  mercenary  side  of 
life  should  always  be  kept  away  from  the  child  as  far  as  is 
possible  in  this  mercenary  world.  True  generosity  consists  in 
giving  with  a  loving  heart,  in  the  spirit  of  service,  whatever 
form  the  gift  takes. 

"The  Blackberry  Girl"  in  Volume  I  of  the  Library  illustrates 
this  noble  quality  and,  further  on,  the  funny  Chinese  story, 
"The  Most  Frugal  of  Men,"  emphasizes  an  opposite  trait. 
Volume  II  offers  many  big-souled  characters,  but  we  call 
special  attention  to  "Robin  Hood"  and  "The  Two  Brothers." 
Then  "The  Three  Cakes,"  in  Volume  III,  presents  even  a 
stronger  example,  contrasting  generosity  with  selfishness. 
Open  Volume  IV  and  you  will  find  "Hetty's  Half-Crown" 
and  "The  King  of  the  Golden  River"  and  "The  Monkey's 
Revenge. "  Read  all  of  them.  In  Volume  IX  the  biographies 
of  George  Peabody  and  Peter  Cooper  are  worthy  of  close  study. 
"  Making  Presents, "  in  Volume  X,  should  be  consulted  in  this 
connection.  Poems  to  know  word  for  word  are  "The  Happy 
Warrior,"  and  "My  Creed  "  in  Volume  XL 

<^w  ^?*  1^^ 

THE  GENTLEMAN 

IT  would  be  hard  to  find  among  the  men  of  our  own  time 
one  who  illustrates  more  completely  the  title  "gentleman" 
than  George  William  Curtis,  whose  life  terminated  within  the 


56  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

memory  of  the  present  generation.  Three  hundred  years  before 
him  there  lived  in  England  Sir  Philip  Sidney,  whom  men  have 
long  esteemed  a  shining,  if  not  the  brightest,  exemplar  of  ''gen- 
tlemanliness,"  to  the  possession  of  which  all  right-minded 
men  aspire.  It  was  peculiarly  fitting  and  fortunate,  therefore, 
that  Mr.  Curtis  should  write  of  the  life  and  characteristics  of 
Sidney,  as  he  has  done  in  Volume  VII  of  the  Library, 
and  every  lad  ought  to  read  and  re-read  that  essay  until 
the  spirit  which  it  portrays  becomes  a  part  of  himself.  He 
had,  Mr.  Curtis  tells  us  of  Sidney,  that  happy  harmony  of 
mind  and  temper,  of  enthusiasm  and  good  sense,  of  accom- 
plishment and  capacity,  which  is  described  by  that  most  ex- 
quisite and  most  abused  word,  gentleman.  "His  guitar  hung 
by  a  ribbon  at  his  side,  but  his  sword  hung  upon  leather  be- 
neath it.  His  knee  bent  gallantly  to  his  queen,  but  it  knelt 
reverently  also  to  his  Maker.  And  it  was  the  crown  of  the  gen- 
tleman that  he  was  neither  ashamed  of  the  guitar  nor  of  the 
sword;  neither  of  the  loyalty  nor  the  prayer.  For  a  gentleman 
is  not  an  idler,  a  trifler,  a  dandy;  he  is  not  a  scholar  only,  a 
soldier,  a  mechanic,  a  merchant;  he  is  the  flower  of  men,  in 
whom  the  accomplishment  of  the  scholar,  the  bravery  of  the 
soldier,  the  skill  of  the  mechanic,  the  sagacity  of  the  merchant, 
all  have  their  part  and  appreciation.  A  sense  of  duty  is  his 
mainspring,"  Then,  going  into  the  breadth  of  the  subject,  Mr. 
Curtis  gives  us  one  of  the  finest  definitions  of  the  gentleman 
ever  penned — 'fine  both  in  its  lofty  appreciation,  and  also  as  a 
model  of  pure  English  style.  Perhaps  there  is  no  one  article 
in  the  volume  more  profitable  for  the  youthful  reader  than  this. 
Parents  also  should  read  this  inspiring  chapter.  But 
the  subject  is  so  broad  and  important  that  it  deserves  a 
wider  treatment  and  more  extensive  reading.  The  following 
articles  should  also  be  read  and  considered  and  discussed  in 
the  family  circle^"  John  Wesley"  and  "George  Washington" 
in  Volume  VI.  These  are  life-sketches  of  two  great  and  heroic 
gentlemen.  The  following  poems,  in  Volume  XI,  contain 
many  admirable  suggestions  that  will  help  to  make  more  clear 
this  subject:  "Lady  Clare,"  "Be  True,"  "Polonius  to  Laer- 
tes. "     We  also  recommend  in  this  connection  the  reading  of  the 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         57 

following  articles  in  Volume  X:  "Lord  Chesterfield's  Maxims," 
"  Good  Manners  in  the  Home, "  and  "  Grumblers. ' '  In  Volume 
III  there  are  several  entertaining  stories  that  make  clear  to 
little  folks  some  of  the  qualities  of  the  true  gentleman;  thus 
the  story  entitled  "Two  Litde  Boys"  will  be  found  interesting 
to  them  as  well  as  to  older  children. 

The  conception  of  the  word  "gentleman"  in  the  Middle 
Ages  and  in  heroic  times  is  shown  by  two  hero  stories,  or  legends, 
in  Volume  II:  "Guy  of  Warwick"  and  "Galahad  and  the 
Sacred  Cup. "  In  connection  with  this  last-named  English  leg- 
end the  older  boys  and  girls  may  profitably  read  the  poem  by 
Tennyson,  in  Volume  XI,  entitled  "Sir  Galahad." 

We  suggest  that  the  young  reader  consult  the  definition  of 
the  word  "gentleman"  in  any  good  dictionary,  and  try  to  ac- 
quire a  fondness  for  frequently  consulting  a  dictionary  or  ency- 
clopedia. The  following  quotation  is  worth  considering: 
"  George  Washington  in  the  highest  sense  of  the  word  was  a 
gentleman  and  a  man  of  honor." 

(^  (,?•         t^* 

HABITS 

MEN  and  women  of  middle  age  know  how  difficult  it 
is  to  break  a  bad  habit,  and  how  easy  it  is  to  form  a  new 
one.  A  large  part  of  the  training  and  education  of  children 
consists  in  helping  them  to  acquire  right  habits  of  thinking  and 
doing.  What  is  a  habit  ?  Some  one  has  defined  it  as  "  a  tendency 
to  do  that  which  we  have  frequently  done  before."  When  a 
man  has  been  kind  and  courteous  for  years,  it  is  easy  to  be  kind 
and  courteous.  When  a  man  has  practised  lying  and  decep- 
tion for  years,  it  is  almost  impossible  for  him  to  be  frank,  truthful, 
and  straightforward. 

Parents  must  help  their  children  to  form  correct  habits,  and  I 
the  first  one  for  the  little  children  to  form  is  obedience.      They  I 
should  be  led  to  obey  till  obedience  is  easier  than  disobedience 
because  it  has  become  a  habit.     This  does  not  mean  "breaking 
the  child's  will, "  to  use  an  old  expression.     A  child's  will  should 


58  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

never  be  broken,  but  it  should  be  bent  and  molded  by  gentle 
and  yet  positive  measures.  The  child  will  be  better  and 
happier  if  he  is  obedient  to  a  tender  and  affectionate  mother. 
The  mother  should  try  to  be  so  just,  so  consistent,  and  so  sym- 
pathetic that  she  will  be  worthy  of  trust  and  obedience. 

This  is  a  large  subject,  and  space  prevents  long  discussion 
of  its  importance  in  child-training.  How  cruel  it  is  to  permit 
children  to  become  slaves  of  low  and  debasing  habits!  How 
noble  it  is  to  help  them  by  kindness,  tactfulness,  and  firmness 
to  form  habits  that  are  good  and  elevating!  Give  children  plenty 
to  do.  Let  them  be  always  making  something  in  which  they 
are  interested  and  in  which  you  are  also  interested.  It  may 
be  a  snow-fort  or  a  little  house  made  of  blocks,  or  a  scrap-book 
made  of  pictures,  or  any  one  of  a  hundred  other  things  that  you 
will  teach  them  to  do.  Encourage  them  to  work  and  to  plan 
things  themselves.  This  will  help  them  to  be  resourceful  and 
self-reliant.  Help  them  to  acquire  the  habits  of  work,  obedience, 
truthfulness,  and  courage. 

If  a  child  has  three  or  four  good  habits,  it  will  be  easier  for 
him  to  form  other  good  habits.  If  he  is  truthful  and  obedient, 
it  will  be  easier  for  him  to  be  honest  and  courteous.  If  he  has 
learned  habits  of  industry  and  kindness,  he  is  apt  to  be  cheerful, 
contented  and  unselfish.  These  are  some  of  the  good  habits 
to  be  cultivated,  and  cultivating  good  habits  always  helps  us 
to  keep  out  of  bad  habits.  But  evil  habits  like  weeds  will 
appear;  destroy  them,  if  you  can,  before  they  have  had  time 
to  grow  strong.  When  selfishness  appears,  help  to  crush  it  by 
encouraging  the  child  to  do  unselfish  acts.  If  the  child  does 
things  that  are  cruel,  train  him  to  acts  of  kindness  and  help- 
fulness. 

Little  can  be  said  here  about  destroying  bad  habits.  If 
possible,  overcome  and  eradicate  them  before  they  become  con- 
firmed. Unfortunately  in  this  world  diseases  and  bad  habits 
are  more  contagious  than  health  and  good  habits.  What  a 
vicious  and  depraved  thing  a  bad  habit  is!  It  is  unpleasant, 
even  to  them  of  such  evil  habits  or  tendencies  as  lying,  drinking, 
idleness,  fretfulness,  vanity,  swearing,  and  a  host  of  others. 
Parents  should  use  "eternal  vigilance"  in  helping  their  chil- 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         59 

dren  to  conquer  or  control  evil  tendencies  before  they  become 
habits. 

Boys  and  girls,  it  is  very  important  that  you  think  about  bad 
habits  and  how  to  avoid  them.  Perhaps  the  following  outline 
will  help  you  in  such  thinking:  (i)  Bad  habits  that  injure 
health;  (2)  that  destroy  reputation;  (3)  that  dishonor  or  dis- 
grace one's  family;  (4)  that  would  waste  money;  (5)  that  take 
away  self-control;  (6)  that  incur  needless  risks,  as  gambling; 
(7)  that  are  offensive  to  others. 

In  this  volume  there  are  little  essays  on  the  virtues  that 
should  be  developed  into  habits.  You  may  be  much  helped 
by  reading  the  articles  on  Courage,  Kindness,  Self-control, 
Cheerfulness,  Perseverance,  and  others. 

^w  t?*  ^^ 

HEROISM 

HEROISM  is  so  great  and  splendid  a  quality  that  it  has 
not  been  thought  too  much  to  devote  to  it  almost 
the  whole  of  Volume  VII  in  our  Library.  No  urging  will 
be  necessary  to  make  any  lively  youth  read  this  section,  but  first 
he  should  scan  Mr.  Eggleston's  admirable  Introduction,  and  so 
free  his  mind  at  the  start  from  the  idea  that  heroism  means 
only  an  exhibition  of  courage  in  the  face  of  some  great  physical 
danger— still  less  that  it  is  vainglorious.  Real  heroes  are  ever 
modest;  usually  the  only  explanation  they  can  make  of  their 
act  is,  that  it  seemed  to  them  the  only  thing  to  do  at  the  moment. 
Take,  for  example,  the  fine  instance  of  the  fisherman,  in  Vol- 
ume VII,  page  177.  The  unheralded  heroism  of  daily  life — in 
the  household  and  the  office — outranks,  as  Henry  Ward  Beecher 
once  declared,  all  that  of  the  most  memorable  battlefields  of  his- 
tory. Washington,  cold  and  forlorn  at  Valley  Forge,  yet  immov- 
able against  every  discouragement  that  could  assail  a  commander, 
is  a  more  truly  heroic  figure  than  when  he  is  seen  at  Princeton, 
charging  mid  smoke  and  cannon-flame  upon  the  British  batter- 
ies that  have  almost  vanquished  his  wavering  line.  With  this 
thought  impressed  upon  the  mind,  no  reading  is  more  attrac- 


60  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

tive  or  more  inspiring  to  the  young  than  stories  of  heroism;  and 
the  selections  offered  in  the  seventh  volume  of  the  series  above 
referred  to  are  rich  in  thrilling  incidents  as  well  as  in  deeply 
important  lessons.  One  will  not  find  there  a  rule  for  becoming 
a  hero;  but  if  he  has  taken  into  his  character  the  spirit  por- 
trayed by  the  men  and  women  in  these  narratives,  he  will  need 
no  rule. 

The  man  who  faithfully  does  his  duty  in  private  life — it 
may  be  amid  poverty,  sickness,  and  disappointments — is  as  true 
a  hero  is  he  who  dies  bravely  fighting  on  the  battlefield.  The 
truest  courage  is  often  manifested  by  women  in  the  trials  and 
difficulties  of  everyday  home  experience.  The  heroism  of  every- 
day life  is  much  more  important  to  the  world  than  the  heroism 
of  wars  and  battles.  With  these  thoughts  always  in  mind,  read 
the  following  stories,  poems  and  articles  in  the  Library: 

In  Volume  VII  be  sure  to  read  carefully  the  following 
splendid  chapters:  "Everyday  Heroism,"  "Heroes  Who  Fight 
Fire,"  "Heroism  of  Women,"  "The  Defenders  of  Thermopy- 
lae," and  other  articles  treating  of  all  the  different  phases  of 
heroism.  In  Volume  VI  read  "Finding  Livingston,"  by  Henry 
M.  Stanley;  "Arctic  Perils,"  by  Dr.  Kane,  and  the  closing 
chapters  on  "  Arctic  Exploration. "  Volume  IX  contains  several 
admirable  biographies  of  heroic  men  and  women:  we  commend 
especially  those  of  "Christopher  Columbus"  and  "General 
Gordon."  In  Volume  XI  there  are  any  number  of  stirring 
poems  that  relate  heroic  incidents,  such  as  "Incident  of 
the  French  Camp,"  "Casabianca,"  "A  Night  with  a  Wolf," 
"Arnold  Von  Winkelried,"  and  the  stirring  ballad — partly 
truth,  partly  fiction — that  tells  of  the  heroism  of  Barbara 
Frietchie. 

Xff^  t^^  v* 

HOME  STUDY 

BOYS  and  girls— and  their  parents — should  never  forget 
that  if  they  would  live  a  full,  useful,  happy  and  success- 
ful life,  they  must  do  serious  reading  and  actual  study  after  their 
school  days  are  over.     Such  reading  and  study,  if  vigorously 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         61 

and  persistently  pursued,  is  more  important  in  the  development 
of  capable,  successful,  and  useful  men  and  women,  than  the 
lessons  and  tasks  of  school-days.  The  writer  knows  well  a 
successful  man  of  high  standing,  about  seventy  years  of  age, 
who  has  been  a  member  of  Congress,  was  Chairman  of  the 
Board  of  Education  of  New  York  City  for  many  years,  and  is 
the  honored  associate  of  its  best  citizens.  Incidentally,  he 
has  made  a  large  fortune  in  business.  This  man  attended  a 
small  country  school  for  less  than  five  years.  He  had  no  other 
school  or  college  training.  He  began  actual  work  when  he 
was  "bound  out"  to  a  printer  at  the  age  of  thirteen.  His 
salary  the  first  year  was  $30.  He  boarded  with  his  employer 
and  in  the  employer's  home  his  washing  and  mending  was 
done  free. 

On  the  witness-stand  a  cross-examiner  once   said  to  him: 

"  Mr where  were  you  educated  ?  "     He  answered :  "  Partly 

in  a  district  school."  "But,"  said  the  lawyer,  "where  was 
your  education  completed?"  "It  is  not  completed;  it  is  now 
in  progress.  It  will  continue  so  long  as  I  live,"  responded 
this  wise,  successful  man.  Home  study,  and  study  at  odd 
times,  go  far  in  accounting  for  his  success. 

This  brief  story  from  real  life  illustrates  the  lesson  we  wish 
to  impress  on  the  boys  and  girls— and  their  parents.  Benjamin 
Franklin,  by  such  home  study,  rose  from  poverty  and  ignorance 
and  became  great  as  an  author,  philosopher,  inventor,  states- 
man, and  diplomat — one  of  the  three  greatest  Americans. 

In  this  connection  it  is  unnecessary  to  mention  such  names 
as  Abraham  Lincoln,  Elihu  Burritt,  Horace  Greeley,  and 
Thomas  A.  Edison.  See  their  life-sketches  in  the  Library, 
Volume  IX. 

We  commend  most  heartily  studies  taught  at  home  by  many 
Correspondence  Schools.  Through  such  home-correspondence 
instruction,  thousands  of  people  have  increased  their  efficiency, 
their   usefulness,   and   their   income. 

For  home  study  based  on  the  Library,  and  intended  for 
boys  and  girls  and  their  parents,  we  commend  the  following 
articles: 

The  careful  reading  of  the  three  departments,  "Why   to 


62  TH-H:  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Study,"  "What  to  Study,"  "How  to  Study,"  in  Volume  X; 
and  especially  the  following  articles  in  this  volume:  "Why 
Men  should  Study  Shakespeare,"  by  Prof.  C.  A.  Smith;  "The 
Study  of  Poetry"  and  the  "Study  of  the  Novel,"  by  Prof. 
F.  H.  Stoddard  of  the  New  York  University;  "How  Shall  we 
Learn  to  Think?"  by  Eliza  Chester;  "Home  Study,"  by  the 
late  President  Harper  of  Chicago  University;  and  "The  Art 
of  Reading,"  by  Hamilton  Wright  Mabie. 

If  the  boy  or  girl  is  interested  in  music  or  art,  Volume  XII 
will  prove  instructive  and  stimulating.  Upward  of  one  hundred 
and  fifty  songs  are  given  therein  together  with  articles  on  piano- 
playing  and  singing  by  Mark  Hambourg  and  Madame  Mar- 
chesi;  the  art  section  contains  a  succinct  account  of  artists 
and  their  works  which  is  liberally  illustrated  with  reproductions 
of  great  paintings. 

c5*  C?*  «!?•  V 

HONESTY 

AN  honest  man's  the  noblest  work  of  God." 
This  sentence  was  written  by  a  famous  English 
poet.  Do  you  believe  it  ?  Do  you  fully  understand  it  ?  Who 
wrote  it?  If  it  be  true,  then  honesty  must  be  a  great  and 
splendid  quality.  It  must  mean  something  more  than  financial 
honesty — -something  more  than  the  avoidance  of  cheating  and 
the  paying  of  debts. 

Boys  and  girls,  will  you  not  carefully  consider  the  meaning 
of  the  word  "honesty."  Think  about  it  and  try  to  recall  all 
you  have  read  about  it — then  consult  your  dictionary  for  the 
definition  of  the  word.  You  will  find  in  the  definition  such 
words  as  "sincerity,"  "honor,"  "uprightness,"  "integrity." 
Honesty  means  all  that  is  expressed  by  these  words,  and  more. 
Perhaps  we  might  profitably  consider  it  along  the  following 
lines: 

First:  The  honest  man  or  boy  does  not  cheat.  He  pays 
all  honest  debts.  He  does  not  buy  things  unless  he  is  sure  he 
can  pay  for  them.  He  practises  economy  and  works  faith- 
fully in  order  that  he  may  cheat  no  one. 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         63 

Second:  The  honest  man  or  boy  does  not  deceive.  He 
doesn't  make  believe  he  is  studying  when  he  is  not.  He  doesn't 
give  to  his  teacher  some  other  boy's  solution  of  a  problem  pre- 
tending that  it  is  his  own.  He  doesn't  tell  his  parents  by  words 
or  by  actions  that  he  is  studying  faithfully  when  he  is  loafing 
or  playing  truant.  It  is  possible  for  him  to  deceive  his  teachers 
and  his  parents,  but  if  he  does  he  is  only  laying  the  foundation 
for  habits  of  indolence  and  deception  that  will  retard  or  pre- 
vent his  success  when  he  becomes  a  man.  An  honest  man  in 
business  or  professional  life  does  not  deceive.  He  does  not 
put  ground  gypsum  in  flour,  or  glucose  in  honey.  He  doesn't 
put  the  largest  strawberries  on  the  top  of  the  basket  to  conceal 
the  green  or  decaying  ones  at  the  bottom.  He  doesn't  wear 
false  plumage  by  preaching  another's  sermon  or  delivering 
another's  speech  as  his  own.  He  is  true  to  himself  and  false  to 
no  man. 

Third:  The  honest  boy  is  truthful.  He  neither  tells  a  lie, 
nor  acts  a  lie.  He  is  upright  in  all  his  words  and  actions. 
He  is  not  so  mean  as  to  impose  on  any  one  by  a  falsehood. 
He  is  above  practising  a  cheat  in  word  or  deed.  Truth  he 
values  more  than  money  and  neither  bribes  nor  threats  can 
make  him  depart  from  it. 

Fourth:  The  honest  boy  has  a  conscience  and  he  follows 
this  "inward  light."  That  boy  was  honest  who,  when  asked 
why  he  did  not  pocket  some  pears  (for  nobody  was  there  to 
see),  replied:  "Yes,  there  was.  I  was  there  to  see  myself; 
and  I  do  not  intend  ever  to  see  myself  do  a  dishonest  thing." 

Fifth:  The  honest  boy  does  not  need  watching.  He  studies 
a  little  harder  and  behaves  a  little  better  when  the  teacher  is 
absent  from  the  room  than  when  she  is  present.  He  does 
conscientious  work  whether  the  "boss"  is  present  or  absent. 
He  puts  "high  quality"  into  his  work.  He  remembers  not 
only  that  "the  gods  see  everywhere"  but  "he  is  there  to  see." 
Such  a  boy,  when  he  goes  away  from  home,  will  not  forget  the 
teachings  of  his  mother. 

Sixth:  The  honest  boy  keeps  his  promise  to  himself  as  well 
as  to  others.  He  doesn't  deceive  himself.  If  he  does  wrong 
he  doesn't  try  to  convince  himself  that  he  is  doing  right.     If  he 


64  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

resolves  to  do  faithful  work,  he  forces  himself  to  make  good 
his  resolution.  If  he  promises  himself  to  take  a  certain  amount 
of  exercise,  or  to  do  a  specific  amount  of  studying,  he  does  it 
though  it  be  not  a  task  imposed  by  parent  or  teacher.  Thus, 
by  force  of  will,  he  learns  to  be  honest  to  himself  and  at  the 
same  time  he  is  learning  the  great  lesson  of  self-control.  Hon- 
esty is  always  right  and  "honesty  is  the  best  policy." 

In  this  connection  you  might  read  again  the  little  chapters 
in  this  volume  on  "Work"  "Perseverance"  and  "The  Gentle- 
man," and  in  the  Library  the  following  articles,  stories,  and 
poems  contain  lessons  of  honesty  and  faithfulness:  "For  a' 
That  and  a'  That,"  Volume  I;  "Trial,"  and  "Amendment," 
Volume  III;  "Reynard  the  Fox,"  Volume  IV;  and  "Political 
Dishonesty,"  Volume  VII.  Several  of  the  biographies  of 
great  men,  like  Washington  and  Lincoln  in  Volume  IX,  should 
be  inspiring. 

^*         fe5*        ^* 

HONOR* 

THIS  is  a  large  and  important  subject.  It  cannot  be 
adequately  discussed  in  a  brief  article.  We  shall  give 
only  a  few  suggestions  and  then  attempt  to  blaze  the  way  for 
your   fuller   consideration    and    investigation. 

First  think  of  the  word  honor.  Have  you  a  clear  idea 
of  the  meaning  of  the  word  ?  Enlarge  that  idea  by  reading  and 
re-reading  the  definition  in  a  good  dictionary.  You  will  find 
that  "honor"  is  related  to  a  large  family  of  great  and  good 
words,  among  which  are  honesty,  character,  love,  respect,  and 
courtesy. 

Now  read  the  following  questions  and  hints,  but  take  them 
up  for  greater  thought  and  consideration  day  by  day,  as  you 
are  pondering  over  this  subject: 

What  is  honor?  Should  honor  be  cultivated?  Does  it 
help  to  make  a  strong  character  or  a  weak  one?  What  is 
character?    What   is   reputation?     Which   would   you   rather 

♦Nearly  all  of  this  little  essay  was  taken  from  an  article  by  Jane  Brownlee, 
an  eminent  and  successful  teacher,  of  Toledo,  Ohio. 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         65 

have,  a  fine  reputation  or  a  fine  character?  How  can  you 
build  character?  How  can  you  develop  honor  in  your  home 
relations?  How  in  school?  Do  you  think  you  must  work 
for  honor,  or  will  it  develop  easily  and  without  effort  on  your 
part?  Do  you  think  the  things  in  life  really  worth  having  are 
gained  with  or  without  striving?  Do  you  think  the  attainment 
of  honor  is  desirable?  Does  it  pay  in  business  relations? 
How  hard  are  you  willing  to  work  that  you  may  possess  it? 

If  you  are  "honor  boys  and  girls"  will  you  study  when  your 
teacher  is  absent  from  the  school-room  just  as  vigorously  as  when 
she  is  present?  Will  you  carefully  do  work  as  requested  by 
your  mother  when  she  is  absent,  the  same  as  if  she  were  present  ? 
Will  you  faithfully  study  during  the  allotted  time  for  prepara- 
tion of  a  certain  lesson,  or  will  you  "dawdle"  the  time  away? 

Let  us  look  at  this  subject  from  another  standpoint.  Parents 
should  remember,  and  children  should  be  taught,  that  every 
manufactured  article  is  produced  at  a  cost  of  labor,  time,  and 
money,  and  should  be  used  with  care  whether  the  article  belongs 
to  them  or  to  another.  If  text  books  are  furnished  free  of 
cost,  pupils  must  understand  that  while  free  of  cost  to  them, 
they  are  not  so  to  the  tax-payers,  and  they  must  show  apprecia- 
tion by  a  desire  to  pass  them  on  to  their  successors  in  good 
condition.  Destructiveness  in  childhood  is  chiefly  due  to 
thoughtlessness,  and  unless  corrected  will  lead  to  shiftlessness. 
Landlords  might  cease  to  be  victims  to  a  class  of  tenants  who 
say:  "We  don't  care  anything  about  this  house,  you  know; 
it  is  only  rented,"  if  children  were  given  such  teaching  in  school. 

Boys  and  girls,  a  true  sense  of  honor  will  lead  you  to  consider 
the  rights  of  others,  the  proper  conduct  toward  them.  By 
"others"  we  mean  parents,  teachers,  companions,  servants, 
strangers,  janitors,  and  everybody  with  whom  you  come  in 
contact.  But  the  space  given  to  us  for  this  article  will  permit  us 
only  to  help  you  in  considering  how  "honor  boys  and  girls" 
will  regard  the  rights  of  parents  and  teachers. 

What  are  the  rights  of  parents  ?  To  your  love,  courtesy  and 
respect;  to  your  ready  and  cheerful  obedience;  to  your  help- 
fulness, because  every  child  should  have  some  work  to  do  in 
the  home  that  would  add  to  the  comfort  of  all;  to  the  care  of 


66  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

your  clothing  that  additional  burdens  may  not  be  laid  upon 
your  parents. 

What  are  the  rights  of  teachers?  To  your  courtesy  and 
respect;  to  your  cheerful  and  ready  obedience;  to  your  co- 
operation to  make  the  school  the  best  possible;  to  expect 
honor  and  honesty  in  the  preparation  of  daily  work;  to  expect 
that  you  be  punctual  and  regular  in  attendance;  to  pleasant, 
kind,  obliging,  helpful  ways  on  your  part. 

By  such  an  attitude  toward  parents  and  teacher,  the  children 
are  building  character  of  the  right  sort  and  in  the  end  will 
receive  more  than  they  give. 

"Honor"  contains  only  five  letters,  but  it  is  a  great  big  word. 
Will  you  not  think  of  it  every  day? 

Almost  any  of  the  stories  of  famous  men  and  women  in  the 
Library  demonstrate  this  principle.  But  we  recommend  to 
youthful  readers  the  following:  "Dorigen"  in  Volume  III, 
and  "The  Judgment  of  Tamenund"  in  Volume  IV,  both  ex- 
cellent tales;  also  "Tom's  First  Half -Year  at  Rugby"  in  the 
latter  volume.  For  a  supreme  example  of  personal  honor 
read  "Scott  in  Adversity,"  in  Volume  VII.  Memorize  the 
words  of  "Polonius  to  Laertes,"  in  Volume  XI,  and  keep 
them  ever  in  mind.  One  should  be  able  to  repeat  "To  Lucasta 
on  Going  to  the  Wars"  in  the  same  volume. 

^*  s^*  t^w 

HUMOR 

PARENTS  should  cultivate  the  love  of  humor  in  their 
children.  Encourage  them  in  their  attempts  at  wit 
and  harmless  nonsense.  The  attempt  may  be  a  very  poor 
one  from  your  standpoint,  but  still  you  should  show  hearty 
appreciation  and  encouragement.  A  sense  of  the  ridiculous, 
a  disposition  to  see  the  bright  and  amusing  side  of  things  will 
carry  the  boy  over  many  rough  places  when  he  becomes  a 
man.     Help  him  all  you  can  to  start  right  in  this  respect. 

Give  the  children  plenty  of  comic  toys.  Tell  to  them  and 
read  to  them  funny  nursery  rhymes  and  laughable  little  stories. 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         67 

Show  them  comic  pictures.  Later  on  they  should  be  encouraged 
to  read  and  to  tell  humorous  stories  that  they  have  read  or 
heard.  Story-telling  by  children  helps  amazingly  in  mental 
development. 

Remember  always  that  good,  honest,  hearty  laughter  helps 
to  cure  physical  and  mental  ills.  It  puts  the  mind  as  well  as 
the  body  in  a  more  wholesome  condition. 

What  a  blessing  in  the  home  and  in  society  is  the  man  or 
woman  who  can  easily  be  amused,  who  can  amuse  others,  and 
whose  sense  of  humor,  like  charity,  "never  fails." 

To  the  very  little  children  read  and  tell  the  nursery  rhymes 
and  nursery  tales  in  Volume  I  of  the  Library;  among  the  latter 
we  call  particular  attention  to  " Chicken-Licken, "  "The 
Mouse  and  the  Sausage,"  "Teeny  Tiny,"  and  "The  Three 
Little  Pigs."  In  the  poetry  divisions  of  that  volume  turn  to 
"The  Owl  and  the  Pussy-Cat,"  "The  Table  and  the  Chair," 
"A  Lobster  Quadrille,"  and  "Limericks."  As  the  children 
grow  older  they  will  find  plenty  of  fun  in  the  "Fairy  Tales  and 
Laughter  Stories"  division  of  Volume  I,  especially  "The 
Husband  Who  was  to  Mind  the  House,"  "The  Musicians  of 
Bremen,"  "The  Three  Sillies,"  "Hudden  and  Dudden  and 
Donald  O'Neary,"  and  "The  Story  of  Caliph  Stork."  In 
Volume  II  read  "The  Jellyfish  and  the  Monkey,"  "Hiawatha," 
and  "Robin  Hood."  One  of  the  finest  of  all  funny  tales  is 
"Don  Quixote"  in  Volume  III;  then  in  Volume  IV  we  have 
"A Mad  Tea-Party,"  "Brother  Rabbit's  Cradle,"  and  "Among 
the  Lions  of  Algiers."  Over  one  hundred  pages  in  Volume  X 
are  given  up  to  amusements — games,  riddles,  little  plays,  etc., 
and  there  is  a  "Fun  and  Laughter"  division  of  poems  in  Volume 
XL  Finally,  in  Volume  XII  are  numerous  nursery  and  non- 
sense songs. 

t^*  fff^  tc^ 

IMAGINATION 

IMAGINATION   is  that  power  in  the  mind  by  which  we 
are  able  to  realize  facts   and  comprehend  ideas:    it  is 
creative  thinking,  or  ideality.     By  its  aid  we  reconstruct  the 


68  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

pictures  of  memory,  and,  looking  forward  realize  some  new 
fact  or  thought  or  forecast.  It  is  perhaps  the  most  active  and 
useful  agent  of  the  intellect,  and  is  particularly  free  and  vivid 
in  young  children,  whose  minds  are  uncrowded  with  impres- 
sions, who  are  looking  at  a  new  world  with  eager  curiosity,  and 
endeavoring  to  supply  their  lack  of  knowledge  by  structures  of 
fancy.  The  difference  between  the  bright,  quick-witted  child 
and  the  slow,  stupid  one  usually  lies  in  the  greater  or  less  activity 
of  the  imaginative  faculty. 

It  is  easy  to  see  what  a  very  important  part  imagination  must 
serve  in  acquiring  knowledge,  and  how  constantly  it  should  be 
appealed  to  by  parent  and  teacher  in  both  study  and  discipline. 
No  door  opens  to  interest  so  broadly  as  through  the  imagination 
— the  pleasing  instrumentality  of  the  picturesque;  no  entrance 
to  the  heart  and  moral  feelings  is  so  direct.  The  very  means 
of  instruction,  whether  spoken  or  written,  demand  its  assistance, 
for  the  words  we  use  are  only  symbols,  representing  mind- 
pictures,  as  anciently  they  did  painted  ones;  and  no  one  can 
fully  understand  ideas  unless  he  can  realize  the  thing  for  which 
each  symbol-word  stands. 

For  these  and  other  reasons,  the  young  should  cultivate 
their  power  of  imagination,  but  control  and  train  it  by  reason 
based  upon  facts.  It  was  such  control  that  made  it  possible 
for  the  great  generalizations  of  science,  such  as  those  of  Newton, 
Agassiz,  and  Darwin,  to  be  formulated.  Certain  studies 
especially  call  for  it — -geography  and  geometry,  for  examples. 
A  morning  walk  across  the  country,  with  its  display  in  miniature 
of  mountains  and  valleys,  its  lakes  and  rivers,  showing  along  their 
courses  islands,  capes,  peninsulas,  and  so  forth,  will  give  a 
child  a  better  idea  of  the  terms  in  geography,  and  of  the  action 
of  the  elements  in  producing  the  landscape,  than  a  long  series 
of  book-lessons.  Reading  becomes  enjoyable  and  profitable 
in  proportion  as  it  stimulates  and  feeds  the  imagination  with 
new  facts  and  novel  ideas. 

Here  is  the  great  value  of  museums  to  children.  When,  for 
instance,  a  boy  or  girl  sees  an  actual  war-chariot,  such  as  that 
ancient  one  exhibited  in  the  Metropolitan  Museum  of  Art  in 
New  York,  how  new  and  vivid  are  the  pictures  he  is  able  to 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         69 

make  in  his  mind's  eye  of  the  scenes  of  Roman  or  Greek  history — • 
of  Achilles  dragging  Hector  around  the  walls  of  Troy,  or  of  the 
triumph  of  a  general  parading  along  the  Imperial  Way  in 
Rome!  How  real  are  the  deeds  of  the  vikings,  when  one  sees 
that  old  Norse  ship  in  the  Field  Museum  in  Chicago! 

It  is  by  imagination,  based  upon  observation,  that  we  extend 
our  knowledge;  and  our  little  ones  begin  this  process  of  self- 
education  long  before  their  games  become  a  matter  of  skill  and 
strength.  The  amusements  of  little  children  are,  in  fact, 
almost  wholly  imaginative.  Their  fancy  ranges  free  from  the 
trammels  of  self-consciousness  or  experience,  and  lets  them 
surround  themselves  with  delightful  images,  changing  with  the 
rapidity  and  inconstancy  of  a  dream.  Few  materials  are 
required.  The  same  rag  doll  is  now  a  boy,  then  a  girl,  or  a 
young  baby,  or  the  mother  of  another  poor  little  effigy,  and 
each  time  the  surroundings  change  in  the  child's  fancy  to  fit 
the  new  personality,  with  the  ease  of  a  turned  kaleidoscope. 

Children  do  not  hesitate  to  transform  playmates,  or  even 
themselves,  into  unrealities  (real  enough,  however,  to  them); 
and  little  girls  sometimes  invent  a  purely  imaginary  playmate, 
give  her  a  name,  and  for  weeks  together  talk  and  play  with 
her,  reporting  daily  what  she  does,  says,  and  thinks. 

Now  out  of  these  infantile  fancies,  enlarged  and  regulated 
by  culture,  come  the  songs  of  the  poets,  the  compositions  in 
music  and  the  other  arts,  and  the  bold  flights  of  science,  in- 
vention, and  commerce;  so  that  it  is  a  faculty  well  worth  culti- 
vation. 

Imagination  is,  in  truth,  the  mother  of  ambition  and  its 
success.  By  it  the  mind  pictures  the  future  and  forces  the 
results  of  energy  and  perseverance  applied  to  a  certain  end. 
The  goal  and  its  rewards  are  vividly  pictured,  and  also  the 
difficulties  which  a  brave  man  considers  only  long  enough  to 
defeat.  Without  imagination  no  creative  work  could  ever 
be  accomplished,  or  good  cause  advanced.  Plainly,  it  is 
worth  while  to  nourish  such  a  well-spring  of  energy  and  bring 
it  under  control,  for  its  best  work  is  done  in  the  harness  of 
judgment   and   reason. 

Of  course  Volume  I  of  the  Library  is  a  treasure-house  of  happy 


70  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

imagination,  but  we  want  to  refer  to  a  few  special  examples, 
such  as  "Cinderella,"  "Why  the  Bear  Has  a  Stumpy  Tail," 
"The  Land  of  Counterpane,"  "The  Unseen  Playmate," 
"Puss  in  Boots,"  "The  Land  of  Story-Books,"  and  "The 
Hardy  Tin  Soldier."  Every  child  should  know  these  and  their 
fellows.  In  Volume  II  we  see  wonderful  imagination  at  work 
in  stories  like  "Proserpina,"  "Baldur,"  "The  Star-Lovers," 
"Perseus,"  "Siegfried,"  and  other  myths.  Little  folks  will 
revel  in  "Gulliver's  Travels,"  and  "The  Tempest,"  in  Volume 
III,  as  works  of  great  imaginative  power.  The  same  can  be 
said  for  "Undine,"  "Rip  Van  Winkle,"  and  "The  Snow- 
Image"  in  Volume  IV.  And  there  is  all  of  Volume  XI,  "  Golden 
Hours  with  the  Poets,"  and  Volume  XII,  "Music  and  the  Fine 
Arts,"  to  enthrall  the  attention  and  quicken  the  ready  imagina- 
tion of  children  old  and  young. 

f^>  t^  %^ 

IIMITATION  AND  EMULATION 

PROBABLY  the  first  act  of  the  infant  not  wholly  in- 
stinctive is  imitative.  At  first  it  seems  involuntary,  like 
our  disposition  to  yawn  when  we  see  another  yawning^  but 
later,  as  it  sees  more  distinctly,  and  gets  stronger,  it  tries  to  copy 
the  actions  of  others;  and  by  this  road  learns  to  do,  one  by  one, 
the  little  acts  of  its  daily  life.  So  it  begins  its  education — 'Self- 
teaching.  Soon  it  advances  to  the  point  where  it  shows  that 
it  takes  pleasure  in  its  attempts  at  imitation,  and  begins  to  try 
to  do  what  it  notices  others  doing,  just  to  see  whether  it  can. 
Imitation  next  rises  from  mere  material  things  to  manners, 
speech,  and  ideas.  The  faculty  varies,  of  course,  with  the 
children,  but  in  all  it  is  the  essential  factor  in  early  education, 
and  one  which  should  be  carefully  heeded.  Observe  that  chil- 
dren brought  up  in  a  group  of  brothers  and  sisters  are  as  a  rule 
quicker  and  less  troublesome  than  those  alone  in  the  family; 
and  that  a  school  is  in  general  better  for  a  youngster  than  a 
private  tutor.  Children  learn  from  the  people  around  them 
more  than  from  books.     Hence  the  need  of  guarding  against 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         71 

those  "evil  communications  which  corrupt  good  manners," 
The  responsibility  this  places  upon  the  parent  is  plain  to  be 
seen.  It  is  of  the  utmost  importance  that  the  speech,  the 
manners,  the  kindness,  the  personal  and  home- virtues  generally, 
from  which  the  child  gets  its  first  impressions  and  earliest  habits, 
shall  be  of  the  best:  in  short,  that  the  models  it  imitates  so  close- 
ly and  indiscriminately  shall  be  good. 

Fortunate,  indeed,  is  the  child  whose  parents  do  the  right 
things  before  it,  and  offer  examples  that  are  worthy  of  emulation. 
Next  in  importance  are  the  characters  set  before  them  in  books. 
The  world's  greatest  and  noblest  experiences  have  been  pre- 
served to  us  in  our  best  literature.  Read  to  your  children  the 
accounts  of  the  lives  of  the  men  and  women  you  wish  them  to 
emulate.  This  will  do  more  for  them  than  all  the  sermons  you 
can  preach  or  the  moral  advice  you  can  give.  Plant  in  the 
hearts  of  the  children  the  desire  to  be  like  the  good  and  great, 
and  encourage  them  daily  with  the  thought  that  they  are  going 
to  be  good  and  great,  and  they  will  **  arrive"  in  time. 

In  literature  as  in  life  children  will  find  good  examples  to 
follow  and  evil  ones  to  shun.  It  is  an  excellent  plan  for  them 
after  reading  a  story  or  poem,  to  tell  what  impressed  them  as 
worthy  of  emulation.  Parents  should  utilize  the  references  in 
this  volume  under  the  quality  they  desire  to  develop  in  their 
children^" Courage, "  ''Ambition,"  "Generosity,"  etc.,  etc. 
Perhaps  special  attention  might  be  given  the  talk  on  "Friend- 
ship." Senseless  imitation  may  be  found  in  "The  Vain  Jack- 
daw," "The  Mouse  and  the  Sausage,"  and  "The  Ass  and  the 
Watchdog"  in  Volume  I,  and  a  clever  mimic  is  "The  Pet  Star- 
ling," Volume  IV.  That  volume  also  contains  Dr.  Hale's 
entertaining  tale,   "My  Double  and  How  He  Undid  Me." 

^*  (,?•  <!?• 

INDUSTRY 
(See  "Application,"  "Perseverance,"  and  "Work.") 

^*  (^*  ^* 

INVESTIGATION 
(See  "Curiosity,"  "Reading,"  and  "Observation.") 


72  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 


KINDNESS* 

BOYS  and  girls — or  rather  girls  and  boys — don't  read 
this  chapter  on  kindness  until  you  have  thought  about 
the  word  and  its  meaning  for  at  least  four  minutes,  and  read  the 
definition  of  it  in  a  dictionary.  Perhaps  you  think  you  know 
what  kindness  really  means — -but  you  don't  unless  you  have 
read  the  definition  of  the  word  in  the  dictionary,  and  thought 
about  it,  and  talked  about  it,  and  practised  it  for  many,  many 
days.  You  cannot  learn  to  swim  by  reading  about  it,  and  you 
cannot  learn  kindness  by  reading  about  it.  To  learn  either  in 
any  true  sense  you  must  practise.  If  you  have  been  sour  and 
disagreeable  and  "  sassy, "  you  cannot  be  kind  all  day  and  every 
day  until  you  have  tried  and  tried  and  tried.  Skilful  skating 
and  true  kindness  only  come  by  thought  and  practice.  One  of 
the  sweetest  and  kindest  beings  we  ever  knew  was  a  woman 
nearly  eighty  years  of  age.  She  had  been  practising  this  splendid 
art  for  nearly  eighty  years.  Think  of  it — 'the  art  of  kindness! 
It  is  an  art  to  be  learned  like  that  of  conversation,  or  the  art  of 
speaking  clearly. 

After  first  thinking  about  kindness  and  looking  in  a  dictionary 
for  the  definition  of  it,  I  would  then  divide  it  into  four  parts 
and  consider  each  part  separately. 

First:  kindness  to  parents — the  children's  best  friends. 

Second:  kindness  to  teachers,  the  next  best  friends  of  the 
children. 

Third:  kindness  to  brothers,  sisters,  companions,  and  the 
world  in  general. 

Fourth:  kindness  to  animals. 

If  you,  my  unknown  and  unseen  readers,  were  now  with  me 
in  my  little  library  and  I  should  ask  you  why  your  parents  were 
your  best  friends,  you  would  all  want  to  speak  at  once  and  say: 
"They  give  us  food,  clothes,  a  bed";  "They  work  for  us";  and 
then  some  little  girl  would  give  the  highest  and  best  reason  of 
all — '"They  love  us." 

*A11  the  best  thought  in  this  little  chapter  is  taken  from  an  admirable  article 
bv  Jane  Brownlee,  in  the  "Report  of  the  National  Congress  of  Mothers"  for 
1908. 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         73 

First:  I  wish,  girls  and  boys,  that  space  would  permit  me 
to  tell  you  how  to  show  your  love  for  your  parents — by  kind 
words,  kind  thoughts,  and  kind  deeds— but  you  must  work 
out  these  thoughts  for  yourselves. 

Second:  You  can  show  kindness  to  your  teacher  by  yield- 
ing cheerfully  to  obedience,  by  doing  your  best  in  your  studies, 
by  being  orderly,  unselfish,  and  courteous,  and  in  many  other 
ways  that  you  can  think  of  a  great  deal  better  than  I  can,  be- 
cause my  school  days  ended  nearly  forty  years  ago. 

Third:  Boys  and  girls,  I  am  going  to  ask  you  to  think  of 
six  ways  by  which  you  can  show  kindness  to  companions. 
Won't  you  vn-ite  them  out  and  send  them  to  me? 

Fourth:  I  believe  that  every  boy  and  girl  that  I  am  talk- 
ing to,  loves  animals.  I  am  sure  every  girl  does.  If  any  boy 
who  is  reading  this  little  chapter  is  cruel  to  animals,  I  don't  want 
to  talk  to  him,  even  in  imagination.  He  must  answer  these 
questions  carefully,  or  I  shall  not  permit  him  to  be  in  my  class: 
If  you  saw  a  little  bird  on  the  grass  beaten  from  its  nest  by  a 
heavy  storm,  what  would  you  do?  If  you  saw  a  lot  of  boys 
stoning  a  cat,  or  if  you  saw  a  horse  beaten  when  it  was  doing 
all  it  could — what  would  you  think?  What  would  you  say? 
What  would  you  do? 

Answer  these  questions  according  to  your  own  sense  of 
right  and  wrong.  Boys  and  girls,  won't  you  think  about  these 
things?  The  following  articles  in  our  Library  will  help  you 
to  think  about  one,  two  and  three:  "Little  Things,"  "Song 
of  Life,"  and  "Mabel  on  Midsummer  Day,"  in  Volume  I; 
"Baucis  and  Philemon,"  and  "Robin  Hood, "in  Volume  II; 
" Two  Little  Boys, "  and"  Simple  Susan, "  in  Volume  III;  "  The 
Monkey's  Revenge, "  and  "  The  King  of  the  Golden  River, " 
in  Volume  IV;  "Rajah  Brooke  of  Sarawak,"  and  "Lydia 
Maria  Child,"  in  Volume  IX;  "Hints  for  Happiness,"  and 
"A  Spirit  of  Love,"  in  Volume  X;  and  "The  Deserted  Village" 
and  "The  Blue  and  the  Gray,"  in  Volume  XL 

After  you  have  thought  about  number  four,  read  the 
following  stories,  poems,  and  chapters  about  animals  in  the 
Library:  "Kindness,"  and  "If  Ever  I  See,"  in  Volume  I; 
"The   King  of   the  Trout-stream,"    "The   Homesickness  of 


74  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Kehonka,"  "The  Story  of  a  Homer,"  and  "The  Adventures 
of  a  Loon,"  in  Volume  IV;  "The  Rodent  Animals"  (chapter 
xiv)  and  "Our  Wicked  Waste  of  Life,"  in  Volume  V;  and 
"Cruelty  to  Animals,"  in  Volume  XL 

t^*  %^  i^9 

LOYALTY 

LOYALTY  must  be  regarded  as  one  of  the  most  pleasing 
as  well  as  most  essential  attributes  of  a  fine  character, 
and  it  is  as  endearing  in  the  youth  as  in  the  person  of  maturer 
years  and  greater  trusts.  It  means  standing  by  what  seems 
good,  for  sticking  to  a  wrong  position  is  mere  obstinacy.  It  is 
well  that  this  should  be  made  clear  to  the  child  as  soon  as  an 
occasion  presents  itself,  for  sometimes  a  boy  will  persist  in 
defending  a  playmate  who  he  knows  is  in  the  wrong,  or  in 
upholding  a  cause  that  he  now  knows  is  not  as  good  as  he  once 
thought  it.  Loyalty,  then,  is  the  virtue  of  firmly  standing 
by  what  one  believes  in,  in  the  face  of  detraction  or  assault.  It 
implies  the  very  soul  of  honesty,  and  may  cost  self-sacrifice.  It 
also  implies  endurance.  A  boy  is  loyal  to  his  ball-team  when  he 
cheerfully  takes  the  part  his  captain  decides  best  fitted  for  him 
whether  or  not  he  likes  it  best,  and  then  plays  to  win  success  for 
the  team,  not  with  an  eye  first  on  applause  for  himself.  A 
girl  is  loyal  to  her  home  when  she  lets  no  one  speak  slightingly 
of  it,  and  keeps  silent  regarding  the  little  defects  of  education 
or  management  which  she  may  observe,  because  she  has  had 
advantages  superior  to  those  her  parents  enjoyed.  She  is 
equally  loyal  when  she  quietly  does  all  she  can  to  remedy  the 
defects,  and  improve  matters  for  the  benefit  of  the  family. 
Loyalty  to  an  employer  is  shown  by  working  for  him  as  faith- 
fully as  you  would  for  yourself ,  watchful  of  his  interests,  economi- 
cal, secret  as  to  his  business,  etc.;  but  if  his  service  should  lead 
to  conniving  at  fraud,  or  other  violation  of  good  principles,  then 
loyalty  to  yourself  requires  you  to  quit  his  service. 

This  term  seems  to  many  to  refer  altogether  to  standing  by 
one's  country,  and  this  is  truly  a  very  important  field  for  loyal 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING  75 

ideas  and  acts;  but  those  who  in  time  of  peace  earnestly  strive 
to  improve  the  welfare  of  the  people  by  criticising,  or  even 
opposing,  measures  of  the  government  which  they  consider 
injurious,  are  acting  as  truly  loyal  a  part  as  those  who  fight 
for  the  flag  in  war. 

The  teaching  this  virtue  of  loyalty  to  a  child  enforces  the 
necessity  in  the  parent  to  give  him  principles,  and  guide  him 
into  situations,  which  are  worthy  of  support.  Only  thus  can  the 
sense  of  loyalty  which  is  to  be  inspired  have  a  firm  basis. 

Under  "Courage"  in  this  department  the  reader  may  find 
a  number  of  references  which  bear  upon  the  present  quality. 
Additional  to  these  we  suggest  the  following:  "The  White 
Stone  Canoe,"  "Llewellyn  and  His  Dog,"  and  "Beauty  and 
the  Beast,  "in  Volume  I;  "  Pyramus  and  Thisbe, "  "Orpheus," 
and  "The  Star  Lovers"  in  Volume  II;  "Dorigen"  and  parts 
of  the  "Iliad"  in  Volume  III;  and  "The  Judgment  of  Tame- 
nund"  in  Volume  IV.  Many  biographies  of  the  "Soldiers  and 
Statesmen"  section  in  Volume  IX  will  prove  of  great  value. 

^*  ^^f  ^ff^ 

MANLINESS 
{See  "The  Gentleman,"  and  "Chivalry.") 

^W  ^*  KC^ 

MANNERS 

IF  one  would  learn  something  of  the  home  from  which  a 
child  comes,  all  that  is  necessary  is  to  watch  him  at  play 
and  listen  to  him.  If  he  habitually  says  "please,"  and  "thank 
you,"  if  he  refrains  from  interrupting,  if  he  does  not  squabble 
and  contradict,  if  he  is  unselfish,  it  is  easy  to  see  that  he  comes 
from  a  family  where  good  breeding  reigns.  Rudeness  at  once 
shows  a  coarse  home  life,  and  ingrained  vulgarity  obtrudes 
itself  through  the  veneer  of  politeness.  Good  manners  cannot 
be  put  on  and  off  at  will;  they  are  a  growth,  and  many  a  baby 
has  them  in  his  degree,  while  many  a  man  or  woman  never 
acquires  them  in  threescore  years  and  ten. 


76  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Sometimes  it  seems  as  though  a  boy  were  born  careless. 
He  naturally  forgets  to  wipe  his  muddy  feet,  to  shut  the  outer 
door,  to  put  away  his  books  and  cap.  It  is  really  essential  to 
say  "Don't"  to  him,  for  these  and  many  other  shortcomings, 
no  less  than  a  thousand  times  before  he  learns  to  correct  them. 
But  the  "Don'ts"  must  be  said  with  tact,  lest  they  become 
nagging,  and  nagging  is  almost  worse  than  anything  else  in  the 
world.  He  must  be  told  good-naturedly,  with  humor  and 
wisdom,  with  small  penalties,  with  appeals  to  his  generosity, 
with  emphasis  on  his  growing  manliness,  never  with  fretful 
complaints  of  his  forgetfulness,  or  unpleasant  comments  on 
the  ways  of  boys  in  general. 

Often  when  a  child  has  bad  table-manners — as  most  chil- 
dren have — a  parent  will  say:  "Rather  than  have  our  family 
meals  spoiled  by  constant  correction,  we  will  put  up  with  his 
ways;  when  he  is  older  he  will  correct  them  himself."  But 
this  is  a  short-sighted  and  selfish  policy.  Later  in  life  bad 
table-manners  are  hard  to  correct.  It  is  always  necessary  to 
train  a  child  to  eat  properly  when  he  is  young,  if  he  is  to  learn  at 
all,  even  though  it  is  a  long  and  tedious  process. 

A  boy  should  be  carefully  trained  in  gentleness  toward  his 
mother  and  sisters.  He  should  give  his  mother  a  chair  when 
she  enters  the  room,  and  open  the  door  for  her  when  she  goes 
out;  he  should  remember  her  wants  at  the  table,  and  run  up 
and  down  stairs  for  her.  He  should  carry  bundles  for  his 
sisters  and  bring  them  home  in  the  evening,  and  regard  their 
wishes  rather  than  his  own.  Those  wise  old  words,  "Manners 
makyeth  man,"  should  be  instilled  into  him  so  that  the  outward 
courtesies  of  life  shall  seem  to  him  of  genuine  importance. 

Appealing  to  the  ideal  of  courtesy  helps  a  child  to  acquire 
the  virtue.  The  life  of  Sir  Philip  Sidney,  that  "line  flower  of 
courtesy,"  is  a  revelation  to  a  boy;  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  and  the 
knights  of  his  time;  the  stories  of  castle-life  in  the  Middle 
Ages,  and  of  the  little  pages  and  their  duties;  the  biographies 
of  great  men  who  did  not  despise  the  little  politenesses  of  life 
while  they  were  also  doing  the  great  things;  all  these  give 
children  an  inspiration  toward  good  manners  in  the  best 
sense. 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         77 

Good  manners,  in  the  best  sense  of  the  term,  are  outward 
manifestations  of  a  kindly  disposition.  "The  outward  forms 
the  inner  man  reveal."  "Love  doth  not  behave  itself  unseem- 
ly." It  has  often  been  remarked  that  the  essentials  of  good 
manners  are  the  same  in  a  true  gentleman  whether  he  be  a 
Japanese,  or  Turk,  or  German.  Any  man  or  boy  who  really 
desires  to  make  those  around  him  happy,  who  tries  to  scatter 
sunshine,  and  who  thinks,  will  acquire  pleasant  manners.  It 
must  not  be  forgotten  that  the  kindly  word  and  the  considerate 
and  cheering  act  are  the  result  of  thought  as  well  as  of  feeling. 

There  is  a  practical  side  to  this  subject  that  wise  parents 
will  not  forget  in  training  their  children.  The  man  possessed 
of  good  manners,  other  things  being  equal,  succeeds  better  in 
business  or  in  professional  life  than  the  man  whose  conduct 
and  bearing  are  not  pleasing.  Many  a  doctor  or  minister  with 
good  manners  has  reached  fame  or  high  position  when  men 
more  industrious  as  well  as  more  scholarly,  but  wanting  at- 
tractive manners,  have  remained  in  obscurity. 

In  this  little  essay  we  can  give  only  a  few  thoughts  on  a  great 
subject.  It  is  for  you,  unseen  reader,  to  pursue  the  topic 
further.  Some  one,  writing  a  comprehensive  essay  on  "Man- 
ners," arranged  the  subject  under  nine  divisions,  and  you  might 
write  a  brief  essay  on  each  of  them,  even  as  George  Washington, 
when  a  mere  boy,  wrote  his  famous  rules  of  "Behavior." 

The  nine  divisions  above  referred  to  are  as  follows:  (i) 
"At  Home";  (2)  "In  School";  (3)  "In  Company";  (4) 
"When  a  Visitor  or  Guest";  (5)  "In  Public  Assemblies";  (6) 
" Salutations  on  the  Street";  (7)  " Pohteness  to  Strangers " ;  (8) 
"Trifling  in  Serious  Matters  to  Be  Avoided";  (9)  "Obscene, 
Profane,  and  Vulgar  Language  to  Be  Avoided." 

To  help  you  in  "thinking  out"  your  own  rules  of  behavior, 
we  suggest  the  following  articles  in  Volume  X  of  the  Library: 
"  Hints  for  Happiness, "  "  Disagreeable  Children, "  "A  Courteous 
Mother,"  "How  to  Entertain  a  Guest,"  "An  Agreeable  Guest," 
"Manners  in  the  Home"  and  " Good  Taste  in  Dress." 

Many  stories  and  poems  have  a  direct  bearing  on  outward 
behavior  as  well  as  on  the  inward  feelings  from  which  good 
manners    spring.     Youngest    readers    may    read    with    great 


78  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

profit  the  following  in  Volume  I:  "Pretty  Cow,"  "Good 
Night  and  Good  Morning,"  "Toads  and  Diamonds,"  and 
"The  Haughty  Princess."  In  Volume  III  turn  to  "The 
Oyster  Patties"  and  "Simple  Susan."  In  Volume  IV  see 
"The  Monkey's  Revenge. "  For  old  and  young  we  recommend 
the  biography  of  "Sir  Philip  Sidney"  in  Volume  VII. 

(5w  ^w  (jjw 

MEMORY-TRAINING 

IT  was  one  of  my  small  nephews — -by  adoption — ^who  first 
set  me  to  thinking  deeply  on  the  subject  of  memory-training. 
I  came  upon  the  small  chap  crying  bitterly  in  an  out-of-the-way 
corner  of  his  father's  boat-house.  He  had  been  publicly 
dubbed  a  "dunce"  by  teachers,  stood  in  the  corner  with  a 
paper  cap  on  his  head,  while  the  other  children  gleefully  pointed 
fingers    and    shouted    "Foolscap!  Foolscap!" 

"Am  I  a  dunce,  Uncle  Nat?  Do  you  think  I'm  ever  going 
to  'mount  to  anything,  just  because  I  can't  recite  my  lessons 
like  the  other  boys?  I  study  and  study — but  in  class  my  re- 
memberer just  shuts  up. " 

The  boy  was  far  from  being  a  dunce.  I  knew  him  for  a 
bright,  active  child,  who  in  those  days  before  nature-study  had 
become  the  vogue,  knew  every  bird  and  flower  and  tree  by  name. 
He  had  a  passion  for  the  water,  and  there  was  not  a  part  of  his 
father's  fishing-schooners  that  he  could  not  describe.  There  was 
no  trouble  with  his  "  rememberer"  where  his  interest  was  aroused. 

Psychology  for  the  school-room  was  then  in  its  infancy. 
Froebel's  symbolic  songs  and  games  had  not  trained  children 
to  quick,  accurate  observation,  and  easy,  because  unconscious, 
memorizing.  Boys  and  girls  were  still  taught  in  blocks  rather 
than  as  units.  Johnny's  irritated  teacher,  and  worried,  dis- 
couraged mother,  actually  thought  him  stupid.  I  thought 
otherwise  and  determined  to  prove  that  his  lack  of  verbal 
memory  was  due  to  bad  teaching  and  unaroused  ambition. 

Verbal  memorizing  was  not  yet  thought  out-of-date  ped- 
agogics.   The  revulsion  against  treating  the  mind  as  a  receptacle 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         79 

in  which  facts  were  to  be  pushed  by  parrot-like  repetition  has 
caused  many  modern  instructors  to  go  to  the  other  extreme  and 
despise  learning  things  by  heart,  I  was  glad  to  hear  so  author- 
itative an  educator  as  William  James  declare:  "The  reaction 
against  verbal  memorizing  has  been  unduly  strong.  Verbal 
material  is,  on  the  whole,  the  handiest  and  most  useful  material 
in  which  thinking  can  be  carried  on.  Abstract  conceptions  are 
far  and  away  the  most  economical  instruments  of  thought,  and 
abstract  conceptions  are  fixed  and  incarnated  for  us  in  words. " 
"Johnny,"  I  said,  "I  believe  you  only  think  you  cannot 
remember.  You  are  going  out  sailing  with  the  skipper  to- 
morrow; let's  see  if  you  cannot  surprise  him  by  reciting  'The 
Sailor's  Rule  of  the  Road.'  See  how  quickly  you  can  learn 
this  verse  that  will  help  you  to  steer  a  ship: 

'"Both  side  lines  you  see  ahead, 
Port  your  helm  and  show  your  red, 
Green  to  green  and  red  to  red, 
Perfect  safety.     Go  ahead. 
If  on  your  starboard  red  appear, 
It's  your  duty  to  keep  clear, 
To  act  with  judgment  think  it  proper, 
To  port  or  starboard,  back,  or  stop  her. 
Both  in  safety,  but  in  doubt, 
Always  keep  a  good  lookout 
In  danger  with  no  room  to  turn, 
Ease  her,  turn  her,  go  astern. '  "- 

It  was  a  revelation  to  both  of  us  how  quickly  the  "bad 
rememberer"  gripped  that  technical  jingle.  It  proved  my 
theory,  that  one  must  care  enough  for  a  result  to  attain  it.  Try 
it  on  your  boat-loving  boys,  you  mothers  who  worry  over  their 
bad  memories. 

What  can  the  mother  do  in  the  training  line  when  her  boys 
and  girls  have  bad  memories  ?  Arouse  their  interest,  stimulate 
their  pride,  and  help  them  through  games  and  other  unconscious 
influences.  There  are  children  who  would  make  no  effort  to 
improve  if  the  motive  were  suspected,  who  show  steady  progress 
when  the  bait  is  temptingly  disguised. 

There  are  undoubted  differences  in  the  memory  of  children. 
Some  are  "born  poor,"  others  are  made  so  by  improper  educa- 
tion, and  Nature  has  to  bear  the  brunt.  To  start  life's  race 
with  a  quick,  retentive  memory  promises  an  unhandicapped  run. 


80  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Mothers  can  be  a  big  help  in  memory-training — even  busy 
mothers.  They  need  no  great  equipment  beyond  common 
sense.  This  should  teach  them  that  memory  must  be  economized 
— there  are  things  that  are  important  to  remember,  other  things 
are  as  well  forgotten:  that  a  hodgepodge  of  unclassified,  un- 
assimilated  facts  never  yet  strengthened  memory;  that  slow  and 
sure  is  a  good  motto  in  memorizing;  that  learning  by  heart 
must  have  a  backing  of  ideas  if  it  be  not  parrot-like. 

Memorizing  of  good  poetry  should  be  made  a  pleasure,  not 
a  task  to  be  dreaded.  Begin  with  short  quotations — those  that 
tell  a  story  are  best  for  the  young — go  on  to  short  poems  and 
finally,  the  hardest  to  remember,  prose.  Make  the  committing 
a  sort  of  contest,  in  which  parents  and  children  join.  Perhaps 
there  is  a  special  hour,  when  the  family  is  gathered  together, 
which  can  be  given  over  to  recitations,  with  a  system  of  awards. 
If  the  boys  and  girls  can  remember  better  than  father  or  mother 
they  will  be  delighted. 

There  should  be  no  force-work  nor  sense  of  obligation. 
Learn  for  all  time.  Arrange  for  a  gala  memory-day  every 
month,  when  all  the  old  poems  will  be  rehearsed,  no  one  knowing 
which  he  will  be  called  upon  to  recite.  One  American  school 
devotes  a  school-year  to  committing  the  poems  of  a  single  poet, 
taking  a  new  one  the  next  year.  Modifications  of  this  plan 
could  be  adopted  in  the  home. 

Another  excellent  memory-stunt,  as  our  boys  would  call  it, 
is  to  have  some  one  read  a  paragraph  aloud  to  a  circle  of  children 
and  see  who  can  repeat  it  most  correctly.  Or  a  story  could  be 
rapidly  read,  each  child  to  give  a  full  synopsis,  sometimes 
verbally,  again  in  writing.  It  is  a  help,  if  a  child  has  trouble 
in  memorizing,  to  write  the  difficult  bit  out. 

In  all  this  memorizing  everything  depends  upon  the  mother's 
power  to  interest  and  make  it  seem  "fun." 

When  memory-culture  must  depend  on  games,  those  old- 
fashioned  ones  of  ''The  Minister's  Cat"  and  "The  School- 
master" are  amusing  and  good  training.  The  latter  is  particu- 
larly valuable.  Similar  games  could  be  arranged  for  any  pur- 
suit or  study  in  which  the  children  are  interested. 

Adapt  the  observation-games  used  by  the  Japanese  schools 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         81 

with  such  telling  effect.  Trays  are  brought  to  the  children 
filled  with  a  number  of  familiar  articles.  At  first  there  may  be 
fewer  things  on  the  tray  and  more  time  given  to  it,  gradually 
the  order  is  reversed,  until  finally  the  children  are  merely  al- 
lowed to  glance  at  a  tray  crowded  with  several  hundred  articles, 
yet  are  expected  to  repeat  what  is  on  it.  Mother- wit  can  suggest 
many  ways  of  making  this  profitable  to  children  of  all  ages. 

Have  another  game  called  "  The  Seeing  Eye, "  to  be  played 
when  out  for  a  walk  with  children.  In  passing  a  store  window 
glance  in  it  and  see  how  many  things  each  one  can  remember 
later.  Or  when  the  youngsters  are  out  alone,  devote  a  few 
minutes  at  the  close  of  the  day  to  have  each  one  recall  what 
he  has  seen.  This  is  good  training  for  the  heedless  child, 
especially  if  he  has  brothers  and  sisters  who  are  keen  observers. 
Agassiz  knew  the  value  of  it  when  he  would  tell  his  pupils  to  go 
out  and  use  their  eyes — keeping  secret  from  them  what  he 
wanted  them  to  see  particularly. 

Get  the  children  interested  in  plays;  waiting  for  cues  is 
splendid  memory-drill.  If  the  mother  could  write  these  plays 
herself,  giving  them  a  personal  touch,  so  much  the  better. 
Puppet-plays,  or  those  for  marionettes,  or  paper  dolls,  are  less 
trouble  and  quite  as  good  training.  JMonologues  for  children 
are  also  valuable. 

If  a  child's  memory  is  very  bad  it  might  be  permitted  to  keep 
lists  for  a  time.  Each  article  should  be  numbered  and  memorized. 
Often  a  missing  fact  is  recalled  by  connecting  it  with  the  number. 
In  the  same  way,  keeping  accounts  and  making  them  balance 
at  the  end  of  a  day  or  week  is  good  for  the  memory  if  one  has 
not  the  habit  of  jotting  down  each  expenditure  as  made.  Or  the 
bad  habit  of  letting  a  journal  or  line-a-day  book  lapse  for  a 
week  or  month  will  give  the  memory  work.  If  one  goes  back- 
ward over  the  days,  most  of  the  salient  doings  will  be  recalled. 

Who  of  us  does  not  recall  Mrs.  Whitney's  Bobby  and  his 
famous  buttons?  That  youngster's  "forgetter"  was  helped 
by  being  taught  to  remember  his  errand  by  his  buttons.  In 
similar  ways  mothers  can  train  children  to  recollect  by  associa- 
tion of  ideas. 

Mothers  have  a  great  part  to  play  in  developing  a  faculty 


82  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

on  which  may  depend  a  child's  success  through  life.  Do  not 
think  it  too  much  trouble  to  strengthen  your  child's  memory 
in  every  way;  and  do  not  overlook  the  value  of  trifling  every- 
day things  in  this  task.  Mere  seeming  trifles  often  count  more 
than  the  most  elaborate  systems  of  memorizing  studied  by  the 
child  in  after  years,  when  the  handicap  of  a  poor  memory  is 
realized. 

"Nursery  Rhymes"  in  Volume  I  of  the  Library,  and  "Nurs- 
ery Songs"  in  Volume  XII  are  the  first  splendid  aids  to  memory- 
training  in  the  little  folks.  Parents  should  encourage  them 
to  learn  all  the  selections.  As  special  tests  encourage  the 
youngsters  to  learn  " Chicken-Licken, "  "Teeny  Tiny,"  "Titty 
Mouse  and  Tatty  IMouse,"  and  "A  was  an  Ant"  in  Volume  I. 
Of  course  the  departments  of  "Indoor  Games  and  "Little 
Plays"  in  Volume  X  w^ill  be  also  of  the  greatest  help  in  training 
the  growing  memory.  And  one  of  the  best  verbal  treasures 
to  possess  for  the  older  boy  or  girl  is  "The  Deserted  Village" 
(Volume  XI),  and  both  subject  and  treatment  are  most  charming 
to  the  juvenile  mind.  ]Maturer  readers  are  advised  to  consult 
"How  Shall  We  Learn  to  Remember ?"  and  the  section  "How 
to  Read"  in  Volume  X. 

t^v  i^V  (^ 

MISCHIEF 

INFANTS  have  no  sense  of  the  value  of  things,  or  that 
form  and  structure  are  necessary  to  their  purpose.  A  baby 
will  pick  a  rose  to  pieces  or  smash  a  toy  simply  for  the  sake  of 
doing  something,  following  that  impulse  for  muscular  activity 
which  is  nature's  primary  education.  A  year  or  two  later 
curiosity,  still  unguided  by  judgment,  leads  him  to  tear  open 
everything  he  can  handle,  "to  see  the  wheels  go  'round,"  as 
the  phrase  is  — that  is,  to  discover  how  the  thing  is  made  and 
does  its  work.  Such  destructiveness  should  be  restrained. 
It  does  the  child  no  good  to  tear  books  or  pound  his  miniature 
wagon  to  fragments.  At  the  same  time  it  is  foolish  to  give  the 
little  mischief-maker  your  watch  or  anything  else  of  value  to 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         83 

play  with,  for  he  is  slow  to  learn.  Show  him,  as  he  grows 
older,  that  when  he  breaks  a  toy  he  ends  the  amusement  to  be  had 
from  it,  and  gradually  he  will  get  the  idea  and  become  careful. 

Yet  some  children  seem  to  carry  with  them  for  years  a 
carelessness  of  property,  which  is  most  annoying  and  expensive 
to  everybody  concerned,  themselves  included.  This  may  be 
a  symptom  of  more  than  ordinary  physical  nervousness,  but 
more  commonly  it  is  one  of  the  effects  of  a  thoughtlessness,  or 
heedlessness,  which  needs  subjection.  A  student  of  this  fault 
tells  us  that  the  highly  energetic,  quick-minded  children  are 
especially  prone  to  it,  when  seized  by  a  fit  of  passion.  "In 
their  anger  the  very  presence  of  a  breakable  object  acts  as  a 
suggestion  which  they  are  unable  to  resist — the  impulse  is 
quicker  than  any  prudent  reflection."  The  correction  is  that 
for  anger,  loss  of  self-control;  but  at  least  the  culprit  should 
be  made  to  pay  for  or  replace  the  object  broken,  or,  if  it  was 
his  own,  to  suffer  from  its  loss  without  help  from  you.  His 
sense  of  justice  will  approve  of  this,  and  you  may  relax  enough 
to  take  an  interest  in  his  plans  to  earn  the  money,  but  do  not 
help  him  too  much,  and  see  that  he  finishes  the  task.  After 
he  has  paid  a  few  bills  of  that  kind  he  will  be  more  careful. 

The  importance  of  curbing  in  the  child  a  tendency  to  selfish 
mischief  is  seen  in  all  later  moral  education.  The  want  of 
care  for  things  of  use  or  value  easily  passes  into  disregard  of 
personal  relations,  and  thereby  natures  become  hardened,  and 
unconscious  cruelties  often  take  the  place  of  the  deference  and 
kindness  so  essential  in  social  relations. 

Three  poems  in  Volume  I  of  the  Library  are  on  the  subject 
of  humorous  mischief:  "There  Was  a  Little  Girl,"  "The 
Wind  in  a  Frolic,"  and  "The  Frost."  The  same  volume 
contains  the  good  old  fable,  "The  Boys  and  the  Frogs."  In 
Volume  II  there  are  "Baldur,"  "The  Gifts  of  the  Dwarfs,"  and 
"  The  Punishment  of  Loki. "  Several  of  the  stories  in  Volume 
III  show  the  consequences  of  heedless  acts — see  "Dicky  Ran- 
dom," "Trial,"  and  "A  Plot  of  Gunpowder."  In  Volume  IV 
"Rataplan,  Rogue"  tells  the  tale  of  a  mischievous  elephant. 
Among  our  poems  in  Volume  XI  nothing  could  be  finer  than  the 
classic,  "Seein'  Things,"  and  it  makes  a  splendid  recitation. 


84  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 


MUSIC  IN  THE  HOME 

MUSIC  is  not  a  mere  accomplishment,  like  dancing.  It  is 
a  general  educative  force,  like  painting  or  drawing, 
and  probably  has  more  influence  in  character-building  than 
either.  While  it  appeals  to  the  ear  with  the  pleasures  of  sound, 
it  teaches  lessons  of  refinement,  truth,  and  beauty.  The  wise 
mother  will  ask  how  she  can  teach  her  child  to  love  music. 
She  will  do  this  not  because  she  wishes  to  make  an  artist  of 
him  but  because  she  wisely  considers  music  a  part  of  the  child's 
general  education.  In  this  brief  article  we  cannot  even  make 
suggestions  regarding  the  best  methods  of  securing  a  musical 
education.  We  can  only  make  a  plea  for  music  in  the  home 
and  especially  for  vocal  music. 

Little  children  should  be  taught  the  words  and  music  of 
the  best  nursery  songs,  the  sweetest  lullabys,  and  some  of  the 
folk-songs  of  all  nations.  Plenty  of  such  simple  music  in  early 
years  is  a  good  foundation  for  broad  musical  culture.  The 
little  ones  should  learn  the  words  of  these  songs  as  well  as  the 
melodies. 

In  every  home  where  there  is  a  piano  or  where  there  is  none, 
there  should  be  a  singing  hour  every  week  and,  if  possible,  a 
few  minutes  of  song  each  day.  In  these  simple  home  concerts 
there  should  be  a  great  variety  of  music.  Hymns  should  be 
sung  as  well  as  ballads  and  home  songs.  The  jolly  and  humor- 
ous songs  should  not  be  omitted,  and  the  singing  should  be 
done  with  vigor  and  vivacity.  Parents  should  use  their  influ- 
ence for  more  music  and  better  music  in  the  public  schools. 

In  Volume  XII  of  the  Library  will  be  found  sensible  and 
helpful  articles  on  singing  and  piano-playing,  as  well  as  the 
words  and  music  of  the  best  songs — the  songs  that  never  die. 
This  collection,  carefully  made  and  edited,  includes  every  variety 
of  vocal  music  from  nursery  jingles  to  patriotic  songs,  from 
college  songs  to  great  religious  melodies. 

Parents  should  not  forget  the  moral  and  religious  influ- 
ence of  hymn-singing  in  the  home.  Hymns  contain  truth, 
theology,   and  the  finest  expression  of  religious  feeling  and 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         85 

emotion.  The  words  of  great  hymns  should  be  memorized, 
as  well  as  the  tunes.  Children  will  never  forget  the  emotions 
aroused  by  a  grand  old  hymn  sung  in  the  family  circle  at  twilight 
Sunday  evening,  or  just  before  bedtime.  The  writer  was 
raised  on  a  farm.  In  that  lonely  country  home  there  was  no 
musical  instrument,  but  both  parents  could  sing  and  both 
were  familiar  with  the  best  hymns.  Every  Sunday  evening 
and  almost  every  other  evening,  in  that  family  circle,  "Old 
Hundred"  was  sung;  or  "A  Charge  to  Keep  I  Have";  or, 
"How  Tedious  and  Tasteless  the  Hour."  The  writer  does 
not  claim  to  be  what  is  called  a  religious  man,  but  he  believes 
he  is  a  better  man  because  of  the  undying  influence  of  this 
home-singing  of  the  best  hymns. 

Fault  has  been  found  by  Walter  Damrosch  vith  the  American 
mother  in  general  for  not  inculcating  love  of  music  in  growing 
boys,  and  seemingly  confining  all  such  attention  to  the  girls. 
Damrosch  points  out  that  not  till  mothers  realize  this  error 
will  America  have  an  opportunity  of  producing  great  music 
and  composers  of  highest  rank. 

In  the  Library  there  is  much  interesting  reading  for  the 
music-lover,  particularly  the  biographies  in  Volume  IX  of 
Mozart,  Beethoven,  and  Jenny  Lind.  Stories  illustrating  the 
power  of  music  are  "The  Maiden  Who  Loved  a  Fish,"  in 
Volume  I,  and  "  Orpheus"  and  "The  Argonauts"  in  Volume  II. 
In  Volume  XI  are  the  poems  "The  Pied  Piper  of  Hamelin, " 
"The  Power  of  Music,"  and  "The  Lost  Chord."  We  beheve 
that  Volume  XII  contains  one  of  the  best  possible  collections 
of  home-songs  with  piano  accompaniment. 

^V  %ff^  ^v 

NATURE-STUDY 

NATURE-STUDY  seems  often  thought  of  as  a  somewhat 
sentimental  interest  in  birds  and  flowers  and  summer 
sunsets;  but  it  is  as  broad  as  the  whole  range  of  the  physical 
sciences,  and  must  therefore  include  a  study  of  the  history  and 


86  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

constitution  of  the  earth,  the  atmosphere  that  surrounds  it, 
the  universe  of  which  they  are  a  part,  and  the  laws  that  control 
the  whole.  But  while  parents  should  realize  this,  and  bear  it 
in  mind,  no  one  expects  them  to  spread  so  great  a  task  before 
the  eyes  of  their  children.  They  may,  however,  lead  their 
minds  toward  it  by  simple  explanations  of  some  of  the  great 
facts,  such  as  the  way  in  which  the  clouds  are  formed,  and 
rain  and  snow  descends  from  them;  and  then  how  the  running 
waters,  csLvrymg  off  the  rainfall,  bear  with  them  earth  and 
pulverized  rock,  wearing  do\Mi  the  highlands  in  one  place  and 
filling  up  the  lowlands  in  another.  Here  is  an  opening  for  the 
rudiments  of  geolog)'  and  even  the  outlines  of  astronomy,  which 
are  quite  within  the  grasp  of  a  boy  or  girl  in  the  grammar- 
school.  All  children  enjoy  tracing  the  constellations;  are  de- 
lighted with  the  revelations  an  opera-glass  will  make  on  a 
clear  night;  and  listen  with  interest  to  an  account  of  the  moon. 
The  movement  of  the  winds  is  easily  illustrated  wherever  there 
is  an  open  fire;  and  simple  experiments  give  a  correct  notion 
of  many  of  the  phenomena  of  light  and  sound  and  electricity. 
All  these  things  are  extremely  important  to  the  education  of 
the  young,  and  early  and  correct  impressions  about  them  will 
be  of  immense  help  when  they  come  to  take  up  these  specialties 
in  school. 

The  greatest  value  in  nature-study,  however,  is  in  training 
y  the  mind  to  deal  with  hard  facts  and  immovable  processes. 
These  are  not  matters  of  opinion  or  faith.  What  anyone  may 
say  about  them  is  of  no  consequence.  Obser\'ation  may  be 
erroneous,  but  the  facts  of  nature  are  truths.  Teach  your 
children,  then,  that  here  there  can  be  no  guessing,  no  half- 
knowledge,  no  taking-for-granted.  The  old  Chinese  believed — 
the  more  ignorant  among  them  still  believe — that  earthquakes 
are  caused  by  the  v/rithing  about  of  a  gigantic  dragon  under 
the  surface  of  the  earth.  That  explanation  was  very  pictur- 
esque but  worth  nothing  until  it  had  been  proved,  first,  that 
such  a  dragon  existed;  second,  that  it  was  capable  of  causing  an 
earthquake;  third,  that  nothing  else  could  or  did  cause  it. 
Nature-study  ought  to  make  a  person  cautious  to  be  sure  of 
his  facts  in  all  things;  to  seek  the  simplest  explanation  in  every 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         87 

enquiry  instead  of  swallowing  some  marvel  like  the  earth- 
dragon;  to  be  ready  to  accept  truth  whether  it  interferes  with 
some  previous  notion  or  not.  To  inspire  in  your  child  the 
scientific  spirit — a  love  of  searching  for  the  truth — is  far  more 
important  than  to  make  him  a  learned  man  in  science. 

Nature-study  can  easily  begin  with  many  of  the  little  poems 
in  Volume  I  of  the  Library,  as  "Where 'do  all  the  Daisies  Go?" 
"Tree  on  the  Hill,"  "Twinkle,  Twinkle,"  "A  Boy's  Song," 
"Buttercups  and  Daisies,"  and  "The  Frost."  The  pretty 
fairy  tale  "Thumbelina"  is  also  an  excellent  object-lesson. 
In  Volume  II  use  can  be  made  of  such  nature-myths  as 
"Proserpina"  and  "Baldur. "  Our  animal-story  section  of 
Volume  IV  should  prove  valuable,  and  we  direct  attention  to 
"A  Field-mouse  Tale,"  " Friskytoes, "  "On  the  Night  Trail," 
and  "  The  Adventures  of  a  Loon. "  All  of  Volume  V  is  devoted 
to  natural  history.  In  Volume  VI  "Animals  of  the  Realms  of 
Snow,"  "The  Musk-Ox  and  Its  Habits,"  and  "Stories  of 
Eskimo  Dogs"  will  ser\'e  good  purpose.  Read  your  favorite 
science  topic  in  any  of  the  divisions  of  Volume  VIII :  "  Geology, " 
"Physical  Geography,"  "Chemistry,"  or  "Evolution  and 
Nature-Studies. "  Learn  some  of  the  poems  in  "  The  Circling 
Seasons"  and  "Green  Things  A-Growing"  divisions  of  Volume 
XI. 

^*  ^*  ^* 

OBEDIENCE 

OBEDIENCE  is  the  first  principle  of  training  in  social 
hfe;  and  it  must  be  insisted  upon  in  children  by  parents, 
not  because  they  are  their  parents,  or  have  any  inborn  authority 
over  them  personally — for  there  is  no  such  thing — but  because 
it  is  for  the  child's  good  and  for  the  safety  of  society.  The 
parents  having  added  a  prospective  citizen  to  the  state  become 
responsible  that,  so  far  as  they  can  effect  it,  he  shall  become 
a  law-abiding  one. 

The  propriety  of  obedience,  at  first  unquestioning,  and 
afterwards  at  least  respectful,  as  long  as  dependence  endures 


88  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

and  judgment  is  immature,  is  not  in  doubt;  but  there  is  less 
agreement  as  to  the  methods  of  securing  a  prompt  and  wilhng 
compliance  with  the  commands  of  their  parents  or  of  others, 
such  as  teacher  or  nurse,  to  whom  parental  authority  has  been 
temporarily   delegated. 

One  great  obstacle  to  solving  the  problem  will  be  cleared 
away  when  both  parent  and  child  (as  it  grows  old  enough)  com- 
prehend what  has  been  stated  above,  namely,  that  obedience 
to  a  parent  is  not  subjection  to  a  natural  master,  with  a  divine 
right  to  order,  and  irresponsible  power  to  enforce  his  decrees, 
but  is  the  proper  submission  of  a  weak  and  ignorant  person  to 
the  guidance  of  one  who  is  stronger  and  wiser  in  the  ways  of 
the  world,  and  is  naturally  appointed  to  that  ofi5ce  by  the  cir- 
cumstances of  generation  and  love.  In  other  words,  a  good 
reason  for  a  required  action,  apart  from  the  parents  say-so,  ought 
always  to  be  given  where  it  is  feasible;  then  obedience  to  it 
will  rarely  be  refused,  or  given  unwillingly  or  dishonestly. 
Otherwise  any  submission  gained  is  merely  a  captive's  or  slave's 
fear  of  the  lash,  and  is  not  to  be  trusted. 

Of  course  there  are  times — especially  with  the  very  young — ■ 
when  complete  obedience  must  come  first  and  explanations 
afterward;  but  a  wise  and  loving  parent  will  so  manage  it  that 
the  child  will  feel  that  there  must  be  good  reason  for  the  command, 
although  he  may  not  then  know  it.  The  parent  who  acts  upon 
this  view  of  the  relation  of  authority  between  him  and  his  off- 
spring will  rarely  have  reason  to  complain  of  serious  diso- 
bedience. 

We  suggest  the  reading  of  "]Mabel  on  Midsummer  Day" 
in  Volume  I  of  the  Library,  and  then  the  little  myth,  "The 
Twelve  Months, "  in  Volume  II,  both  of  which  will  be  appreciated 
by  even  the  youngest  readers.  In  Volume  III  "The  Fruits 
of  Disobedience"  and  "Oyster  Patties"  deal  with  the  subject 
of  children  obeying  their  parents.  "Equality  at  Sea,"  in 
Volume  IV,  is  another  side  of  the  question,  and  will  appeal  to 
boys.  "The  Wreck  of  the  'Birkenhead'"  in  Volume  VII  is 
recommended  to  all  readers,  and  in  Volume  X  the  article  "Dis- 
agreeable Children"  should  give  parents  a  few  helpful  sugges- 
tions. 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         89 


OBSERVATION  AND  LOVE  OF  NATURE 

THE  phrase  "love  of  nature"  has  become  of  late  somewhat 
of  a  catchword,  implying  great  poetic  enthusiasm  for  birds 
and  flowers,  and  a  special  fondness  for  stories  in  which  animals 
figure  in  a  somewhat  theatrical  way.  But  this  emotional  condi- 
tion is  not  essential  to  a  love  of  nature,  and  should  not  deter  any 
mother  from  making  nature-lovers  of  her  children  and  herself. 

There  is  no  mystery  about  it.  The  words  simply  mean  to 
enjoy  acquaintance  with  natural  things  as  well  as  with  artificial 
ones.  It  is,  for  instance,  a  serene  summer  day,  and  as  you  sit 
at  your  window  your  view  spans  a  valley  with  fields  and  a  wind- 
ing road,  carried  over  an  invisible  stream  by  a  bridge  which 
tells  you  where  it  flows.  Some  woods  lie  at  the  left,  and  beyond 
them  and  the  valley  rises  a  gentle  hillside  dotted  with  farms, 
just  now  dappled  with  the  moving  shadows  of  clouds.  Do  you 
see  these  things  and  forget  the  illustrated  magazine  in  your  lap  ? 
Then  you  are  a  nature-lover.  Do  you  call  your  httle  one  to 
your  knee  and  lead  him  to  look  at  this  beauty  too?  That  is 
the  way  to  make  him  a  nature-lover.  He  will  delight  in  the 
charm  of  the  view,  never  fear,  when  once  his  attention  is  tact- 
fully called  to  it;  but  he  will  take  a  step  into  a  new  world  if  you 
lead  him  a  little  further.  Ask  him  if  he  notices  the  different  tints 
in  the  squares  and  patches  of  the  farm-fields  on  the  hillsides. 
Some  are  richly  green,  some  of  paler  tint,  some  a  glowing  yellow. 
What  is  the  yellow  ?  Ripe  grain.  The  grain  is  the  seed  of  the 
wheat  plants.  When  it  has  become  full-sized  and  hard,  the 
plant's  work  is  done  and  the  green  color,  which  indicates  that 
it  is  growing,  disappears.  Ask  him  to  bring  you  one  of  the 
tufts  of  dry  grass  from  the  lawn,  and  show  him  its  seeds  and  the 
similarly  brownish  hue  of  the  stems.  Wheat  or  oats  are  only 
larger  grasses.  Tell  him  how  these  seeds  stay  in  their  tiny  husks 
even  after  the  snow  comes,  so  that  the  sparrows  in  the  fall 
and  the  snow-birds  in  winter  find  plenty  of  food. 

Let  him  watch  the  canary  daintily  picking  the  seeds  from 
its  cup  and  cracking  them  in  its  beak.  Notice  how  strong  that 
beak  is,  and  its  wedge-like  form;  then  ask  him  to  tell  you  to- 


90  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

morrow  how  many  wild  birds  he  has  seen  with  similar  beaks. 
Perhaps  he  will  say  only  one;  but  he  will  keep  his  eyes  open  and 
presently  he  will  find  that  many  birds  have  beaks  of  other  shapes 
— some  like  chisels,  others  as  slender  and  sharp  as  awls,  others 
like  flat  nippers,  and  so  on.  Explain  to  the  child  that  each 
shape  means  a  separate  purpose,  and  ask  him  to  see  if  he  cannot 
find  out  this  purpose  in  each  case,  as  he  watches  the  birds  seek- 
ing their  food.  Don't  let  him  guess  at  anything,  or  rest  content 
until  he  is  sure  of  each  fact;  and  don't  tell  him  more  than  is 
necessary  to  save  him  from  going  wrong.  If,  however,  you  can 
place  good  books  before  him,  do  so. 

All  this  is  very  simple  and  quite  within  the  reach  of  the 
average  mother  or  father;  and  by  continuing  it,  as  knowledge 
broadens,  you  will  make  of  your  son  or  daughter  a  nature- 
lover  and  a  nature-obser\-er,  before  he  or  she  is  out  of  child- 
hood; and  thus  you  will  start  them  toward  a  never-failing,  and 
never-exhausted  field  of  interest.  Furthermore,  you  will  have 
sharpened  their  eyes  and  minds  until  they  will  be  quick  to  see 
and  eager  to  investigate  not  only  the  facts  of  nature  but  anything 
else  which  attracts  or  is  forced  upon  their  attention.  That 
means  that  they  will  acquire,  without  knowing  it  as  an  effort, 
activity  of  mind,  and  one  of  its  most  precious  possessions — the 
habit  of  observation. 

By  many  poems,  stories,  and  articles  our  Library  teaches 
the  importance  of  observation  in  relation  to  nature,  and  we 
commend  "The  Chameleon,"  Volume  I,  and  "Eyes  and  No 
Eyes,"  Volume  III.  The  animal  stories  in  the  last  half  of 
Volume  IV  are  the  result  of  their  authors'  minute  observation, 
one  notable  case  being  "The  King  of  the  Trout-stream."  In 
Volume  V  "Walks  with  a  Naturalist"  and  "Nature-Study 
at  the  Seaside"  will  acquaint  the  young  reader  step  by  step 
with  the  marvelous  things  of  his  ordinary  environment.  Con- 
sulting Volume  VI  we  find  "The  Grand  Canon  of  Colorado," 
"Expedition  to  the  Pacific  Ocean,"  "Life  and  Scenery  in 
Venezuela,"  and  a  number  of  kindred  travel  articles  containing 
the  fruits  of  keen  obser\-ation.  Our  Volume  VIII  is  likewise 
full  of  rich  material,  but  we  especially  mention  "The  Habits 
of  Ants,"  "Spiders  and  Their  Ways,"  and  "The  Forms  of 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         91 

Water. "  In  Volume  XI  read  the  poems  in  the  divisions  "  The 
World  We  Live  In"  and  "Friends  of  Field  and  Forest." 
Memorize  as  many  of  them  as  appeal  to  you — a  few  lines  a 
day  will  soon  give  you  quite  a  repertory  of  delightful  poems. 

^W  t^W  %ff^ 

PATIENCE 

IN  this  busy,  bustling  world  is  patience  really  desirable  and 
necessary  ?  Is  it  not  a  disadvantage  to  the  vigorous  man 
or  woman  who  is  determined  to  succeed?  Let  us  ask  our- 
selves a  few  questions.  What  is  patience?  Is  it  desirable? 
Can  it  be  cultivated?  Should  we  try  to  teach  it  to  our 
children  by  precept  and  by  our  own  example?  How  can  we 
come  to  a  better  understanding  of  what  it  means  ? 

Sometimes  when  a  boy  tries  to  work  out  in  his  mind  the 
meaning  of  a  great  big  word  like  'kindness'  or  'ambition'  or 
'eloquence'  he  thinks  of  some  fine  example  of  the  quality. 
Eloquence,  that's  Webster  and  Clay!  Ambition,  that's  Alex- 
ander the  Great,  trying  to  conquer  the  world.  Kindness,  that's 
his  mother.     But  who  represents  patience? 

The  writer,  years  ago,  knew  a  woman  of  sixty,  of  whose 
home  he  was  a  member  for  months.  When  he  thinks  of  pa- 
tience, he  remembers  her.  She  never  worried  or  scolded  or 
nagged  or  "got  out  of  patience."  When  troubles  came,  she 
met  them  with  calmness  and  courage.  She  thought  what  it 
was  best  to  do  and  acted  promptly — she  did  not  worry.  She 
possessed  that  excellent  thing  in  woman — a  low,  sweet  voice, 
which  she  did  not  elevate  because  some  one  said  an  unpleasant 
word  or  did  a  provoking  thing.  On  "memory's  wall"  her 
picture  stands  for  patience. 

Dear  Reader,  whether  you  live  in  a  Canadian  forest  or  city 
jungle;  whether  you  are  a  brave,  free-hearted  boy,  or  the  happy 
father  of  such  a  boy — learn  to  be  calm  and  self-possessed  and  pa- 
tient. It  is  right  and  it  is  best.  Let's  say  to  ourselves:  "Pa- 
tience can  be  cultivated.    I  will  cultivate  it  and  will  begin  to-day." 

Parents,  we  sympathize  with  you  and  wish  to  help  you. 
It  is  difficult  to  be  a  good  father  or  a  good  mother,  just  as  it  is 


92  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

difficult  to  be  a  good  lawyer  or  a  good  preacher,  but  impatience 
and  worry  only  make  it  more  difficult.  Your  children  are  an- 
noying and  irritating  at  times,  just  as  you  were  when  you  were 
young,  but  it  pays  to  be  kind  and  patient. 

"  The  hasty  word  or  act — properly  speaking — has  no  place 
in  the  home.  Just  stop  a  moment  before  you  scold  or  punish 
your  child  for  some  little  act  he  ought  not  to  have  committed. 
In  that  moment  you  will  recall  some  excuse  for  the  act  that  will 
make  it  less  wrong  and  the  punishment  uncalled  for.  Be 
patient  with  the  little  ones.  How  can  you  expect  them  to  know 
as  much  or  do  as  much  as  their  elders?  When  a  child  asks 
questions,  be  patient  enough  to  answer  him.  It  is  a  child's 
right  to  be  taught,  and  he  can  learn  only  by  asking  questions. 

"Half  the  little  annoyances  of  hfe  will  disappear  if  one  is 
only  patient  under  them.  Almost  all  the  other  half  will  go  the 
same  way  if  one  does  not  worry  over  them.  Don't  worry. 
It  never  pays.  The  mind  free  from  worry  is  in  the  best  con- 
dition to  make  plans  which  are  to  lead  to  success." 

You  cannot  learn  to  be  patient  by  reading  about  it,  any  more 
than  you  can  learn  to  swim  by  reading  about  it.  But  reading 
helps  and  inspires,  and  we  suggest  the  following  titles  in  the 
Library:  "Contented  John,"  "The  Crow  and  the  Pitcher," 
"One  Eye,  Two  Eyes,  Three  Eyes,"  "The  Goose  Girl,"  and 
"The  Story  of  King  Frost"  in  Volume  I;  "Muchie  Lai"  in 
Volume  II;  and  "Griselda"  in  Volume  III.  In  Volume  VII 
read  the  division  entitled  "Heroism  Under  Adverse  Fate." 
The  biographies  of  S.  F.  B.  Morse  and  Elizabeth  Barrett 
Browning  in  Volume  IX  are  recommended,  and  "How  Great 
Things  Are  Done,"  in  the  same  volume,  applies  to  the  question 
in  hand.  Of  the  poems  in  Volume  XI  none  are  more  desirable 
than  "The  Angel  of  Patience"  and  Milton's  sonnet,  "On 
His  Blindness." 

^*  (5*  t^f 

PATRIOTISM 

IT   would   be  difficult  to  find  anywhere  clearer  and  better 
advice  to  a  lad  who  will  soon  enter  upon  the  privileges 
and  obligations  of  citizenship  in  the  United  States  than  is  con- 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         93 

tained  in  the  articles  in  the  latter  half  of  Volume  VII  of  the 
Library.  Three  Presidents  have  there  given  him  the  benefit  of 
their  ripe  experience,  and,  as  if  even  that  did  not  suffice  to  place 
the  treatise  upon  the  loftiest  plane,  to  their  wisdom  has  been 
added  the  counsel  of  two  distinguished  and  greatly  trusted 
leaders  in  the  Christian  church.  This  section  justly  follows 
that  in  which  the  principles  of  heroism  have  been  incul- 
cated by  a  variety  of  noble  examples.  Some  of  the  most 
notable  of  these  examples  have  been  of  men  who  have 
risked,  or  even  deliberately  sacrificed,  their  lives  for  their 
country. 

But  the  burden  of  the  teachings  on  patriotism,  as  on  heroism, 
is  that  the  idea  has  a  wider  meaning  than  merely  fighting  for  the 
flag,  necessary  and  admirable  as  that  may  be  in  its  time.     It 
means  a  constant,  conscientious  sense  of  duty  toward  the  im- 
provement of  the  country  and  all  its  citizens,  in  their  govern- 
ment, their  manhood,  and  their  prosperity.     It  means  that  every 
man — and  especially  e\'ery  young  man^ought  to  inform  him- 
self as  well  as  possible  upon  the  political  needs  and  problems  of 
the  day,  and  then  take  an  active  part,  through  political  pro- 
cesses and  organizations,  in  establishing  what  he  thinks  right 
and  profitable  for  the  welfare  of  the  whole  people.     No  thought- 
ful parent  wiU  omit  to  urge  this  subject  upon  the  attention  of 
his  sons;  and  it  would  be  well  if  the  articles  mentioned  above 
were  read  aloud  and  discussed,  paragraph  by  paragraph.     It 
is  advisable  also  in  this   connection  to   read  the  biographies 
of    such    statesmen   in   Volume    IX  as  Washington,   Lincoln, 
Franklin,    Jefferson,   Hamilton,  and  Webster,   or  any  of  the 
others  in  our  "Soldiers  and  Statesmen"  division.     Of  stories, 
we  can  recommend  "Odysseus,"  "Theseus,"  "How  Horatius 
Held  the  Bridge,"   "How  Cincinnatus  Saved  Rome,"  "Beo- 
wulf," "Roland,"  and  "Wilham  Tell"  in  Volume  II.     Boys 
will  want  to  read    the    "Iliad"   stories   in   Volume   III.     In 
Volume   IV   "Defending   the   Fort"   should    prove    a    fasci- 
nating  tale  for  very  young  folks.     Two  divisions  of  Volume 
XI  apply  to  the  subject,  "Country  and   Flag"    and   "Wars 
and  Battles."     Many  fine  poems  for  memorizing  will  be  found 
therein. 


94  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 


PERSEVERANCE 


BY  the  time  a  child  is  nine  or  ten  years  old  it  will  be  able 
to  understand  and  do  a  great  variety  of  things,  both 
mental  and  physical;  and  it  will  be  learning  of  more  with 
amazing  rapidity.  In  view  of  this  speed  with  which  new  im- 
pressions and  opportunities  come  to  him,  he  and  his  teachers 
need  to  pause  from  time  to  time  and  consider  whether  he  is  not 
losing  good  things  almost  as  fast  as  he  gains  them.  Some 
unheard-of  interest  suddenly  attracts  his  attention,  and  he  takes 
it  up  eagerly;  but  before  he  has  half  learned  the  facts  connected 
with  it,  or  acquired  the  skill  necessary  to  make  use  of  it,  some- 
thing else  has  presented  itself,  and  his  mind  leaps  off  to  that. 
This  age  is  none  too  early,  then,  to  preach  Perseverance.  The 
applications  at  first  will  be  in  small  matters,  of  course,  but 
these  are  the  foundation-stones  of  habit.  In  these  small  ways 
is  learned  the  virtue  of  persistency — sticking  firmly  to  plan  and 
purpose — which  has  so  often  been  the  real  reason  for  successes. 
It  is  well  for  a  youngster  to  acquire  an  ambition,  or  a  hobby, 
if  you  please,  and  stick  to  it  year  after  year,  as  a  pleasing  and 
elevating  recreation.  Encourage  your  child  to  form  some 
plan,  agreeing  with  his  or  her  natural  inclination,  which  is  not 
too  great  for  probable  accomplishment,  discuss  it  until  it  is 
well  understood  and  forecast,  and  then  do  your  best  to  see  that 
it  is  not  abandoned.  This  is  the  disciplinary  value  of  forming 
local  collections  in  natural  history  or  archaeology,  of  planting 
an  orchard,  or  taking  out  a  limited  insurance,  or  gather- 
ing postage-stamps  or  picture-postcards.  The  parent's  part 
(besides  occasionally  helping)  is  to  warn  the  beginner  against 
trying  to  do  too  much.  Take  the  common  matter  of  stamps. 
Not  one  boy  or  girl  in  ten  thousand  can  hope  to  accumulate  a 
really  respectable  stamp-collection  of  the  whole  world:  but  it 
is  quite  within  the  power  of  most  young  people,  in  the  course 
of  ten  or  a  dozen  years  to  make  a  really  fine  and  valuable  album 
representing  some  one  country,  as  Mexico,  or  Canada,  or  Spain 
and  her  provinces.  Upon  a  limited  section,  like  that,  a  persever- 
ing lad  might  become  a  notable  authority.     Too  great  an  under- 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         95 

taking  brings  discouragement,  the  effect  of  which  is  felt  in 
respect  to  other  enterprises. 

Perseverance — "stick-to-it-iveness" — is  one  of  the  longest 
and  strongest  levers  a  man  can  possess  who  means  to  build  a 
Palace  of  Success  out  of  the  materials  at  hand. 

Simple  things  in  the  Library  bearing  upon  this  desirable 
trail  are  "Johnny  and  the  Golden  Goose,"  "Try  Again,"  and 
"Persevere  and  Prosper"  in  Volume  I.  "Rustum,"  in  Volume 
II,  despite  its  fantastic  features  shows  its  hero  a  "sticker." 
In  Volume  III  read  "  Robinson  Crusoe, "  "  Pilgrim's  Progress, " 
"  Prince  Life, "  and  "  Busy  Idleness. "  Different,  but  of  similar 
value,  is  "The Whale-Chase"  in  Volume  IV.  All  the  voyagers 
and  adventurers  told  of  in  Volume  VI  possessed  the  power 
of  persevering,  but  as  specific  instances  see  the  "First  Voyage 
of  Columbus,"  "Ascent  of  Mount  Ararat,"  and  "The  Great 
Albert  Nyanza. "  In  Volume  IX  become  acquainted  with  the 
biographies  of  Ulysses  S.  Grant,  Bernard  Palissy,  and  read  the 
division  "Eminent  Women."  Good  poems  to  dwell  upon  are 
"Haste  Not!  Rest  Not!"  and  "Address  to  the  Indolent"  in 
Volume  XI. 

Cr*  c?*  fe?* 

PLAY 

IT  is  doubtless  true,  as  has  been  pointed  out  recently  by 
Calvin  Dill  Wilson,  that  there  is  no  form  of  discipline 
that  can  take  the  place  of  that  gained  in  play  by  children  who 
join  with  comrades  in  various  sports.  They  gain  self-control. 
Ill-temper  brings  upon  them  ridicule  and  gibes  which  youngsters 
will  not  wish  to  face  a  second  time.  They  find  themselves 
matched  against  equal  strength  and  skill  and  wit,  and  grow 
stronger  and  brighter  by  the  contests.  They  get  over  morbid 
sensitiveness  by  contact  with  those  who  are  too  absorbed  to  cod- 
dle them. 

Parents  should  play  with  their  children  and  play  right 
heartily,  enjoying  each  new  game  even  as  the  youngsters  them- 
selves. The  father  or  mother  who  does  not  believe  in  the  edu- 
cative value  of  play  is  to  be  pitied.     The  great  educator,  James 


96  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Kirkpatrick,  has  written  on  this  subject  as  follows:  "How 
shall  these  helpless  and  ignorant  ones  become  strong  and  wise? 
Chiefly  through  Nature's  old  nurse,  Play,  who  charrhs  children 
into  using  every  power  as  it  develops  and  finding  out  everything 
possible  about  the  very  environment  from  the  heavens  above  to 
the  earth  beneath." 

Encourage  the  children  to  play  vigorously  and  earnestly,  and 
to  think  about  their  plays.  They  should  play  hard  as  well  as 
work  hard — not  lazily  or  listlessly.  An  old-fashioned  poet  has 
expressed  the  thought  as  follows: 

"Work  while  you  work,  and  play  while  you  play, 
This  is  the  way  to  be  cheerful  and  gay." 

Earnest  work  and  vigorous  play  help  greatly  in  the  direction 
of  character-building.  At  croquet,  or  checkers,  or  tennis,  chil- 
dren should  try  to  play  a  good  strong  game.  Into  such  sports 
as  marbles,  or  ball,  or  skating,  or  swimming  they  should  put 
energy  and  vigor.  "Whatever  is  worth  doing,  is  worth  doing 
well." 

In  Volume  X  of  the  Library  will  be  found  games  for  children 
of  all  ages.  We  especially  recommend  for  the  littler  ones  such 
games  as  "Spinning  the  Platter,"  "The  Sea  King,"  "Rule  of 
Contrary,"  "My  Master  Bids  You,"  and  "Honey  Pots,"  and 
there  are  many  other  games  in  this  department  of  Volume  X 
equally  good.  For  the  older  children,  the  following  games  are 
always  pleasing  and  popular:  "Cross  Questions,"  "Buzz," 
"Stage-coach,"  " Dumb  Crambo, "  and  "Consequences."  In 
this  department  many  more  indoor  as  well  as  outdoor  games 
are  described. 

In  the  "Home  Amusement"  section  of  Volume  X  (pages 
301-420)  are  indoor  games,  toys  and  toy  games,  tricks,  puzzles 
and  conundrums,  acting-charades,  short  plays,  and  outdoor 
games.  We  heartily  recommend  the  little  plays  and  charades, 
just  as  we  recommend  such  games  as  "Authors"  and  "Quota- 
tions. " 

Among  the  amusing  and  entertaining  poems  and  stories  in 
the  Library  that  refer  in  some  way  to  games  and  sports  are  the 
following  in  Volume  I:     "The  Unseen  Playmate,"  "A  Lobster 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         97 

Quadrille,"  and  "A  Good  Play."  In  Volume  X  the  following 
will  be  found  pleasing  and  entertaining  poems:  "Blowing 
Bubbles,"  "Sleigh  Song,"  and  "Going  A-Nutting."  In 
Volume  IV  there  are  several  good  stories  for  little  folks  about 
playing,  among  which  is  "The  Story  of  the  Big  Green  Doll," 
while  older  children  will  enjoy  "Tom's  First  Half- Year  at 
Rugby." 

In  the  "Chart  of  Suggestions,"  fifth  column,  will  be  found 
hints  regarding  children's  games  and  sports,  and  when  the 
youngsters  should  take  them  up.  Fathers  and  mothers  should 
see  that  their  children  have  plenty  of  wholesome  play.  They 
should  even  take  part  in  the  sports  of  the  young  folks,  and  by 
so  doing  they  will  add  much  to  their  own  happiness  as  well  as 
to  that  of  the  boys  and  girls. 

(^W  v^  ^^ 

PLUCK 

AS  self-confidence  is  the  basis  of  courage,  so  pluck  may 
be  thought  its  pinnacle,  for  in  one  view  it  is  the  finest 
expression  of  self-confidence  and  courage  combined.  It  is 
the  perseverance  in  courage — the  silent,  unnoticed  "grit" 
which  is  most  worth  while,  and  which  should  be  taught  to  every 
child.  Only  now  and  then  is  a  person  called  upon  to  show 
bravery — to  do  something  heroic;  every  day  in  the  life  of  an 
ordinary  citizen,  young  or  old,  calls  for  pluck.  Obstacles, 
ill-health,  opposition  of  friends,  resistance  of  competitors, 
failures,  doubts,  incessantly  beset  the  path  of  all  who  try 
to  progress,  whatever  line  they  follow.  Sometimes  they  seem 
overwhelming,  and  often  are  so  to  the  weak,  but  the  plucky 
man  fights  on  until  he  wins.  "Fortune,"  said  Sophocles, 
"is  not  on  the  side  of  the  faint-hearted." 

The  plucky  man  thinks  not  of  the  number  of  the  enemy, 
but  of  the  value  of  what  he  seeks  to  gain  or  to  defend.  History 
furnishes  many  an  example  of  this,  not  only  in  war,  but  in  every 
sort  of  enterprise,  and  each  is  worthy  of  a  lad's  earnest  thought. 
The  best  man  in  a  baseball  game  is  the  one  who  plays  hardest 
in  a  losing  game.     Is  the  score  against  his  side?    All  the  more 


98  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

reason  for  a  cool  head  and  untiring  effort.  A  wrestler  who, 
almost  prostrate  underneath  a  heavier  antagonist,  will  not  allow 
himself  to  even  think  of  defeat,  but  stiffens  his  aching  shoulders 
more  and  more  as  the  pressure  increases,  has  a  good  chance 
to  tire  his  man  out,  and  roll  on  top.  Caesar  and  Wellington 
and  Grant  won  campaigns  by  fighting  on  when  doubters  said 
all  was  lost.  The  child  who  wrestles  in  that  way  with  a  bad 
habit  or  a  besetting  sin  will  overcome  it.  Many  a  man's  life, 
many  a  great  cause,  has  been  saved  by  the  indomitable  pluck 
which  clung  to  the  last  shred  of  chance.  Mere  physical  courage, 
and  even  some  moral  courage,  is  often  an  accident  of  great 
natural  vigor  of  body  or  will;  but  enduring  fortitude  against 
inner  weakness  or  outer  adversity  may  be  taught,  and  it  should 
be  the  duty  of  parents  and  teachers  to  plant  it  deeply  in  the 
minds  of  all  the  youth  under  their  charge. 

Readers  are  advised  to  consult  the  references  under  "Cour- 
age" and  "Heroism."  Then,  in  addition,  stress  is  laid  upon 
"Jack  and  the  Beanstalk,"  "Seven  at  one  Blow"  and  "The 
Story  of  King  Frost"  in  Volume  I;  "Thor's  Adventures  Among 
the  Jotuns,"  " The  Argonauts, " and  "Odysseus"  in  Volume  II; 
"Sindbad  the  Sailor"  and  the  Iliad  stories  in  Volume  III;  and 
"The  Boatman's  Story"  and  "Wee  Willie  Winkie"  in  Volume 
IV.  Two  good  articles  in  Volume  VI  are  "  Historical  Sketch 
of  Arctic  Exploration "  and  "  Perils  of  Alpine  Climbing."  In 
Volume  IX  turn  to  "Men  of  Pluck";  and  in  Volume  XI 
memorize  "  Casabianca"  and  "A  Psalm  of  Life." 

%S^         q5*         c?* 

TENACITY  OF  PURPOSE 
{See  "Perseverance,"  and  "Firmness.") 

(^w  ^*         <5* 

READING 

IT  is  impossible  to  impress   too  strongly  upon  parents  the 
importance  of  inculcating  in  their  children  the  habit  of 
reading.     This  means  something  more  than  the  habit  of  reading 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING         99 

newspapers  and  current  periodicals  or  current  novels.  It 
means  the  love  of  good  books  and  of  using  them.  It  means 
delight  in  communing  with  great  intellects  and  noble  and 
beautiful  characters,  and  satisfaction  in  storing  the  mind  with 
thoughts  and  facts  which  may  be  of  service  but  will,  at  any  rate, 
be  a  source  of  enjoyment. 

Reading,  to  be  of  much  benefit,  must  be  done  seriously 
and  studiously.  Careless,  indolent,  desultory  reading  may  be 
and  often  is  of  no  benefit  whatever.  We  know  a  man  who,  for 
forty  years,  has  been  a  great  reader  of  newspapers,  magazines, 
and  inferior  books;  perhaps  he  has  read  on  an  average  four 
hours  a  day  for  thirty  years.  He  is  now  more  than  fifty  years 
of  age,  but  he  is  not  wise  or  even  well-informed.  Another 
man — a  Lincoln,  for  instance — may  acquire  clearness  and 
strength  of  mind  by  reading  and  re-reading  a  dozen  good 
books. 

Boys  and  girls  should  learn  to  read  with  deep  interest,  with 
a  mind  awake,  alert,  and  vigorous.  They  should  consider  the 
meaning  of  words  as  well  as  sentences.  "More  is  gained  in 
knowledge  and  mental  discipline  from  one  good  book  on  which 
the  earnest  thought  and  energy  of  the  mind  settles  than  from 
a  whole  library  skimmed  over  or  read  carelessly." 

Young  folks  should  learn  to  read  closely  and  thoughtfully, 
analyzing  every  subject  as  they  go  along  and  laying  it  up  care- 
fully and  safely  in  their  memories.  By  all  means  do  a  little 
careful  reading  every  day,  if  it  is  but  a  sentence  or  two.  Never 
allow  yourself  to  go  to  sleep  at  night  unless  you  are  conscious 
of  at  least  one  important  thing  you  have  learned  during 
the  day. 

In  the  Library,  Volume  X,  there  are  several  helpful  articles 
on  reading,  for  the  older  boys  and  girls,  and  among  them  are 
the  following:  "  On  Readers  and  Books, "  by  Henry  van  Dyke; 
"  The  Art  of  Reading, "  by  H.  W.  Mabie;  "  How  to  Use  Books, " 
by  Brother  Azarias;  and  "Reading  for  Girls,"  by  Eliza  Chester. 

The  biographies  of  Elihu  Burritt  and  Harriet  Beecher 
Stowe  in  Volume  IX  will  be  stimulating  to  the  young  student 
of  literature.  We  also  advise  a  careful  perusal  of  the  General 
Introduction  in  Volume  I.    And  the  "Lists  of  Best  Books" 


100  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

at  the  close  of  each  volume  of  the  Library,  supplementing  the 
subject-matter,  ought  to  assist  in  the  intelligent  selection  of 
books  along  given  lines. 

<(?*  ^^  ^* 

SELF-CONTROL 

AT  the  very  beginning  we  would  like  to  ask  parents  and 
children  a  few  questions.  What  is  self-control?  Is 
it  an  important  quality  in  character-building?  Should  it — 
can  it — be  cultivated  ?  Is  it  of  value  in  the  home,  in  the  school, 
and  in  every-day  life?  (Look  at  the  definition  of  the  term  in 
some  good  dictionary.) 

A  little  boy  once  said  to  his  teacher,  "I  know  what  self- 
control  means — it  means  'to  make  yourself  mind.'" 

A  litde  boy  promised  to  get  up  in  the  morning  promptly 
when  called.  He  was  called,  but  he  did  not  get  up  promptly. 
He  lacked  self-control.  He  promised  and  meant  to  obey,  but 
he  lacked  the  power  to  make  himself  mind. 

We  would  not,  of  course,  give  much  for  a  boy  who  has  no 
temper.  Temper  is  just  as  important  for  the  boy  as  it  is  for 
the  steel  blade  of  a  jack-knife,  but  it  must  be  controlled.  The 
boy  who  allows  his  temper  to  get  the  best  of  him — who  cannot 
control  it — is  lacking  in  firmness  and  strength  of  character. 
Can  he  learn  self-control?  Of  course  he  can — just  as  he  can 
learn  to  skate — by  trying  again  and  again.  The  grit  and 
perseverance  that  make  a  boy  a  good  skater  and  swimmer,  if 
applied  in  the  right  way  will  give  him  the  power  of  self-control. 
There  is  wisdom  in  the  old  adage,  "  If  at  first  you  don't  succeed, 
try,  try  again."  Yes,  always  try,  try  again,  whether  you  are 
trying  to  learn  self-control,  or  cheerfulness,  or  skating,  or 
checkers. 

Once  on  a  time  a  large  strong  boy  was  "sassed"  and  insulted 
by  a  boy  smaller  than  himself.  Their  teacher,  who  was  not 
far  away,  watched  to  see  the  outcome,  but  said  nothing.  Finally 
the  larger  boy  walked  over  to  the  teacher  and  said:  "This 
self-control  business  is  a  pretty  good  thing  for  me.     Twice  I 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING       101 

thought  I  would  like  to  lick  that  kid  for  being  so  "sassy,"  but 
I  said  to  myself,  'Thomas,  hold  on  to  yourself!  Remember 
self-control.'" 

Self-control  means  many  things.  We  will  now  mention 
only  five,  and  let  you,  unknown  reader,  think  out  and  look  up 
the  others.  i.  The  avoidance  of  hasty  and  angry  words. 
2.  The  power  to  resist  temptation  when  it  comes.  3.  The 
power  to  be  calm  under  provocation  or  insult.  4.  The  control 
of  temper.  5.  The  power  to  compel  yourself  to  do  the  things 
you  ought  to  do,  and  which  conscience  approves. 

Happy  the  home  or  the  school  where  all  the  members  have 
learned  self-control!  This  means  you,  teachers  and  parents, 
as  well  as  the  boys  and  girls.  The  boy  who  eats  too  much  and 
the  man  who  drinks  too  much  lack  self-control.  The  boy 
who  shirks  when  he  ought  to  do  honest  work,  who  permits  his 
mind  to  dwell  upon  baseball  or  firecrackers  when  all  its  power 
should  be  given  to  arithmetic  or  grammar,  lacks  self-control. 
The  man  who  enters  a  barroom  when  he  knows  it  is  not  wise 
for  him  to  do  so  lacks  self-control. 

Yes,  self-control  can  be  cultivated  and  it  is  worth  while. 
Happy  the  home,  we  repeat,  where  all  the  members  have 
learned  this  "fine  art! 

As  aids  in  the  direction  of  self-control,  we  suggest  the 
following  stories  and  articles  in  our  Library.  Read  them 
carefully,  to  catch  both  their  plain  and  their  hidden  meaning, 
and  to  find  every  helpful  suggestion  that  you  can. 

Under  the  heading  "Firmness"  readers  will  find  useful 
references.  In  Volume  I  see  "Suppose"  and  "Let  Dogs 
Delight  to  Bark  and  Bite."  Many  of  the  old-fashioned  stories 
in  Volume  III  breathe  the  spirit  of  self-control,  especially 
"Oyster  Patties"  and  "The  Purple  Jar."  In  Volume  IV  read 
"Peter  Rugg — The  Missing  Man,"  a  powerful  story  of  a 
quick-tempered  character.  Naturally,  nearly  all  of  the  heroes 
in  Volume  VII  show  this  quality  of  ruling  their  spirit,  but  we 
would  wish  every  child  to  read  in  it  again  and  again  the  biogra- 
phies of  Nathan  Hale  and  Toussaint  L'Ouverture.  To  the 
older  children  and  adults  "Training  the  Will,"  in  Volume  X, 
is  highly  recommended.     The  poetry  in  Volume  XI  contains 


102  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

"Marmion  and  Douglas,"  "One  by  One,"  "The  Rainy  Day," 
and  "The  Angler,"  all  applicable  to  the  question  of  self-control. 
Memorize  your  favorite. 

^w         ^^  ^^ 

SELF-RELIANCE 

{See  "Courage,"  "Firainess,"  "Honesty,"  and  "Sense 
OF  Personal  Honor.  ") 

9^v         ^*         ^* 

SOCIETY 

WHILE  children  are  still  very  young  they  show  a  desire  for 
the  company  of  others.  They  want  mother  within  call; 
they  want  other  children  to  play  with  them;  they  want  attention, 
and  an  interest  in  their  games.  All  this  is  perfectly  natural 
and  normal,  and  if  it  is  denied  a  child,  somehow  he  will  not 
thrive. 

As  they  grow  older  children's  parties  are  attractive,  pro- 
vided they  are  not  so  formal  as  to  be  terrifying  rather  than 
delightful.  Any  one  who  understands  children  at  all  will  see 
that  to  make  such  parties  like  those  of  grown  people,  either  by 
costly  dresses  or  elaborate  entertainment,  or  gorgeous  decora- 
tion and  supper,  is  to  completely  spoil  them  for  a  healthy  child. 
He  wants  a  good  time,  plenty  to  eat,  funny  plays,  and  in  general 
a  good  romp,  far  more  than  anything  else. 

The  time  of  social  awakening,  in  the  larger  sense,  comes  as 
the  child  grows  older.  Then  it  is  really  essential  that  a  parent 
recognize  this  as  the  natural  thing,  and  work  along  the  right 
lines  in  giving  the  boy  or  girl  what  is  needed.  Playmates 
should  be  considered,  and  those  which  seem  detrimental  to  the 
good  manners  or  morals  of  the  child  must  be  discouraged 
tactfully,  and  others  who  have  genuine  qualities  of  goodness 
and  wholesomeness  should  be  invited  to  the  home  to  supplant 
them. 

As  a  child  is  essentially  an  imitative  animal,  a  good  social 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING       103 

life  should  be  given  just  as  far  as  possible.  If  he  becomes 
accustomed  early  to  well-bred  manners  in  the  parlor,  and  hears 
conversation  which  is  not  all  idle,  he  will  have  a  standard  of 
conduct  which  will  help  him  later  on  in  choosing  good  society 
rather  than  that  which  is  merely  flashily  attractive.  If,  on  the 
other  hand,  his  parents  are  careless  or  indifferent  as  to  the  sort 
of  homes  he  frequents,  the  sort  of  parties  he  attends  and  the 
conversation  he  hears,  they  need  not  wonder  if  he  grows  up 
loving  the  worse  rather  than  the  better  social  life. 

Often  at  what  is  called  the  "awkward"  period,  a  boy  or 
girl  finds  going  into  company  far  more  of  a  trial  than  a  delight. 
A  mother  should  come  to  the  rescue  here,  and  do  all  she  can  to 
help  the  growing  child.  Sleeves  and  collars  and  neckties  for 
the  boy  should  be  seriously  considered,  and  dresses  let  down 
and  hair  brushed  prettily  for  the  girl.  If  they  are  not  to  be 
self-conscious  and  shy,  they  must  be  dressed  becomingly,  no 
matter  how  simply. 

Interest  and  sympathy  in  the  social  life  of  children,  younger 
or  older,  are  essential.  Friends  should  be  asked  to  come  and 
see  them,  and  should  be  made  cordially  welcome  when  they  do 
come.  Children  should  be  encouraged  to  go  out  to  simple 
affairs,  no  matter  whether  they  like  them  or  not,  because  of  the 
training  they  receive  by  contact  with  others. 

Too  many  men  and  women  are  stiff  in  their  manners  with 
others,  shy,  self-conscious  and  awkward.  They  know  this  to 
be  the  case,  and  are  either  unhappy  in  company  or  brusque  and 
disagreeable.  For  one  reason  or  another,  they  have  failed 
to  receive  the  polish  which  is  acquired  only  by  meeting  people 
socially  in  youth.  Quiet,  cultivated  manners  are  not  easily 
acquired  after  men  and  women  are  grown,  and  uncouth  manner- 
isms are  difficult  to  overcome. 

It  is  quite  essential  to  see  that  children  and  young  people 
do  not  miss  the  social  training  which  is  their  due,  and  which 
in  later  life  they  will  find  a  vital  necessity  as  they  go  out  into 
the  larger  world. 

References  under  "Friendship"  and  "Conversation"  will 
be  found  valuable,  while  Volume  X  of  the  Library  is  rich  in 
articles  on  phases  of  social  life:  see  "Hints  for  Happiness," 


104  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

"Girls  and  their  Mothers,"  "How  to  Entertain  a  Guest," 
"An  Agreeable  Guest,"  "Lord  Chesterfield's  Maxims,"  and 
"Good  Taste  in  Dress."  In  that  volume,  too,  are  indoor 
games,  charades,  and  little  plays,  which  ought  to  furnish 
many  a  merry  evening  for  the  youngsters,  and  the  same  may  be 
said  of  our  collection  of  songs  in  Volume  XII.  Primary  lessons 
in  social  significance  can  be  drawn  from  the  humorous  tale, 
"The  Darning- Needle,"  in  Volume  I,  and  "Uncle  David's 
Nonsensical  Story  about  Giants  and  Fairies"  in  Volume  III. 
Older  boys  and  girls  will  find  interesting  the  biography  of  Mar- 
garet Fuller  Ossoli  in  Volume  IX.  Poems  under  the  division  of 
"Friendship,"  in  Volume  XI,  might  be  studied  with  profit, 
and  the  social  life  depicted  in  "The  Deserted  Village"  should 
afford  entertainment  and  instruction. 

(^*  (^*  {5% 

STORY-TELLING 

THE  art  of  story-telling  is  almost  as  old  as  the  race  itself. 
Turn  to  the  history  of  whatever  nation  you  will,  its 
earliest  activities  cannot  be  separated  from  the  tale  that  was 
told  by  poet,  bard  or  minstrel.  Nor  would  one  want  to  make 
such  a  separation.  What  is  there  of  interest  and  delight  in 
the  early  records  of  Greece  and  Rome  without  Ulysses,  Perseus, 
iEneas,  Romulus,  Remus  and  a  host  of  other  half-mythical 
characters  hopelessly  entwined  with  fact;  what  a  wealth  of  charm 
the  mystical  doings  of  Arthur  and  the  struggles  of  the  princely 
Beowulf  with  the  fire-spitting  monster  add  to  early  English 
history. 

In  story-telling,  as  in  every  other  relation  between  mother 
and  child,  the  former  should  make  herself  assured  that  she  is 
always  extending  the  invitation  "Come  unto  me."  There  is 
nothing  that  gives  readier  entrance  to  the  innermost  chambers  of 
the  heart,  reveals  the  ideals  budding  therein,  and  gives  greater 
opportunity  for  the  mother  to  make  herself  in  reality,  instead 
of  merely  in  sentiment,  the  child's  most  confidential  friend  than 
the  simple  story. 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING       105 

It  is  important  that  a  literary  taste  should  be  acquired  before 
the  child  is  too  old  to  yield  to  guidance.  If  not,  for  the  same  rea- 
sons as  advanced  above,  he  will  invariably  select  for  himself 
the  blood-and-thunder  sheet  which  can  have  but  one  result — 
the  perversion  of  his  morals,  so  thoroughly  does  his  mind  as- 
similate and  cause  to  live  again  in  its  own  thought  and  action 
that  upon  which  it  is  fed.  Incidental  to  the  above  feature  is 
the  development  of  a  vocabulary  and  power  of  expressing  one- 
self with  accuracy  and  facility.  Watch  your  child's  growth 
in  this  direction  for  six  months  and  you  will  be  surprised  how 
many  words  and  phrases  he  has  added  to  his  original  stock. 
In  this  connection  may  be  suggested  stories  which  are  generally 
overlooked  by  even  the  story-telling  mother,  those  which  ex- 
plain the  derivation,  or  give  the  historical  origin  of  words. 
The  story  of  the  naming  of  St.  Christopher  is  a  good  example. 
Simple,  yet  wonderfully  interesting,  stories  have  been  built  upon 
the  names  of  many  of  our  common  flowers,  such  as  the  field 
daisy,  the  daffodil  and  the  forget-me-not. 

Story-telling  is  unquestionably  an  art,  just  as  much  as  is 
painting  or  music,  and  likewise  the  truly  artistic  story-teller 
is  probably  the  exception.  Nevertheless  I  am  firmly  of  the 
opinion  that  she  who  is  possessed  of  true  mother-love  can,  with 
reasonable  effort,  acquire  a  degree  of  proficiency  in  the  art 
which  will  enable  her  to  develop  in  the  minds  of  her  children 
good,  wholesome  literary  tastes. 

In  the  case  of  the  very  young  child  the  mother  should  select 
stories  in  which  the  action  is  rapid,  scene  follows  scene  in  quick 
succession,  and  little  time  is  given  to  detailed  description  or 
"filling  in"  of  the  background.  "The  Three  Bears"  illustrates 
this  point  in  an  admirable  manner.  By  using  Teddy  Bears 
to  build  the  "bear"  concept,  a  few  nursery  toys  to  illustrate  the 
other  features  of  the  story,  any  mother  can  make  this  simple 
tale  intelligible  to  even  a  lisping  two-year-old.  As  the  little 
one's  intuitive  faculty  develops  through  his  having  learned  by 
experience  or  otherwise  the  concepts  which  belong  to  such  words 
as  obedience,  honesty,  love  and  other  of  the  commonly  used 
abstract  nouns,  and  as  new  thought-images  have  been  created 
within  his  mind  tlirough  introduction  to  new  objects  of  the  natural 


106  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

world,  you  will  find  that  he  becomes  ready  for  the  story  whose 
plot  is  a  trifle  involved,  and  the  scenes  are  somewhat  elaborated 
by  description.  Here  the  narrator  can  make  valuable  use  of 
comparison,  and  the  opportunity  should  be  seized  if  you  do  not 
want  the  child  to  fall  into  the  habit  of  letting  words  flit  by  as 
meaningless  sounds.  Of  course  it  is  not  to  be  expected  that  you 
will  leave  him  with  as  full  comprehension  of  the  story  as  you 
yourself  have. 

The  best  writers  of  stories  for  children  to-day  are  happily 
omitting  the  shuddering  tale  of  cruel  treatment  that  befell  the 
innocent  child,  and  of  the  wicked  boy  who  robbed  the  bird's 
nest,  and  in  their  places  are  selecting  themes  of  positive  value, 
such  as  the  truths  of  nature;  for  example,  botany  and  geology. 
Many  entertaining  and  profitable  stories  have  been  written 
during  recent  years  on  animal  life,  and  the  popularity  which 
they  have  attained  proves  that  the  writers  have  responded 
to  a  universal  desire  on  the  part  of  parent  and  child.  To  children 
who  have  acquired  a  slight  knowledge  of  geography  and  been 
introduced  to  the  history  of  their  o\\ti  country,  the  historical 
tale  usually  proves  interesting.  The  story  of  Betsy  Ross  and 
the  Flag,  of  the  origin  of  Independence  Day,  the  Pocahontas 
incident— these  and  many  others  that  will  readily  occur  to  you 
can  be  made  entertaining. 

One  great  advantage  that  the  telling  of  a  story  has  over 
reading  the  same  from  the  printed  page  is  that  the  narrator 
has  freedom  of  body  and  hand  for  gesticulating;  this,  however, 
demands  that  he  should  enter  thoroughly  into  the  feeling  and 
spirit  of  the  story,  otherwise  his  movements  will  not  be  natural 
and  the  minds  of  his  little  auditors  will  be  confused  rather  than 
clarified. 

Chief  among  our  references  for  the  art  of  story-telling  is 
"Embellishment"  in  Volume  III.  It  is  difiicult  to  point  out 
superior  instances  of  narrative  power  in  our  Library,  but  in 
Volume  I  we  ask  the  young  student  to  analyze  the  beautiful 
stories  of  "The  Fir  Tree"  and  "Thumbelina."  As  useful 
work  we  encourage  the  reader  to  compare  "The  Old  Man's 
Comforts,  and  How  He  Gained  Them,"  in  Volume  I,  with  its 
parody  "Father  William"  in  Volume  XI.    Another  somewhat 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING        107 

similar  task  would  be  to  compare  the  prose  version  of  Sir  Gala- 
had in  Volume  II  with  the  poetic  rendition  in  Volume  XI. 
The  fables  in  Volume  I  for  their  brevity,  wisdom,  and  point 
are  fine  models  of  narration.  We  offer  Volume  IV  as  a  com- 
plete course  of  story-study  in  itself.  When  the  young  student 
advances  let  him  read  the  biographies  of  Carlyle,  Tennyson, 
Irvang,  Elizabeth  Barrett  Browning,  and  Louisa  M.  Alcott  in 
Volume  IX.  After  reading  let  him  prepare  an  essay.  In  Vol- 
ume X  we  call  attention  to  "Study  of  the  Novel"  and  "How 
to  Study  Shakespeare."  The  section  of  Volume  XI  entitled 
"Stories  and  Tales  in  Verse"  should  be  helpful 

t^f  (^*  c^* 

SYMPATHY 

A  SYMPATHETIC  nature  is  the  inheritance  of  every |, 
normal  child,  and  its  cultivation  is  one  of  the  cardinal 
virtues  of  the  home.  Beneath  the  mother's  smile  and  the 
father's  appreciative  words  regard  for  the  parents  ripens  into 
a  love  which  demands  recognition  and  love  in  return.  Affection 
originates  in  sympathy,  and  perishes  without  it,  even  though 
its  form  may  remain.  A  child  who  is  sympathetic  at  two  or 
three  often  becomes  selfish  at  five  or  six,  and  the  cause  is  not 
difficult  to  discover.  Tired  or  busy  parents  have  failed  to 
respond  to  the  child's  caress  and  offer  of  assistance,  but  instead 
have  scolded,  or  requested  it  not  to  bother  them.  It  takes  but 
little  of  this  sort  of  treatment  to  chill  a  sensitive  child;  and 
repeated  often  it  will  blight  tendencies  which  encouraged 
would  develop  into  a  most  winning  nature,  or  it  may  cause  the 
young  heart  to  turn  for  satisfaction  to  less  safe,  if  not  to  positively 
harmful,  sources.  The  first  notion  of  morality  indeed  arises 
in  a  child's  mind  through  sympathy.  It  notes  the  mother's 
smile  or  frown,  and,  longing  for  harmony  with  her,  soon  tries 
by  its  behavior  to  produce  the  sunshine  of  the  smile  and  avoid 
the  shadow  of  the  frown.  The  mother's  sympathetic  approval 
is  its  first  criterion  of  right  and  wrong.  In  the  warmth  of  its 
mother's  caress  fear  and  trouble  subside.  "Kiss  it  and  make 
it  well"  is  a  sovereign  remedy. 


108  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

As  the  child  grows,  the  demand  for,  and  appreciation  of, 
sympathy  grows  with  him;  and  receiving  it  he  is  reassured  where 
he  was  timid,  strengthened  in  a  chosen  course,  led  to  put  forth 
tendrils  of  thought  and  action,  and  offers  a  precious  confidence 
rich  in  opportunities  for  helpful  influence.  Nothing  can 
compensate  the  son  or  daughter  for  loss  of  parental  sympathy 
with  their  developing  ideals,  plans  and  affections;  nor  can 
anything  be  more  destructive  of*  joy  in  one's  children,  or  influ- 
ence over  them,  than  to  let  a  natural  and  affectionate  interest 
in  whatever  interests  them  chill  into  indift'erence.  It  is  not  the 
sympathetic  parents  who  complain  that  their  children  do  not 
confide  in  them.  Blessed  is  that  sorrowful  daughter  who  can 
hear  her  mother  whisper,  "I  know,  dear,  what  a  sore  tempta- 
tion it  was;  but — "  Blessed  is  the  son,  angry  and  troubled, 
whose  father  throws  his  arm  across  the  bowed  shoulders  and 
says  heartily,  "I've  been  through  it  myself,  old  fellow.  Fight 
it  out  and  you'll  come  out  on  top.  I  know  it,  for  I  have  been 
there!"  Even  punishment,  inflicted  in  this  spirit,  serves  its 
purpose  of  reformation,  and  leaves  no  grudge. 

The  cultivation  of  sympathy  wifl  result  in  a  character 
instinct  with  consideration  and  kindness  for  the  aged,  weak 
and  erring,  and  for  animals.  Cruelty  and  vindictiveness  will 
be  abhorrent  to  it,  love  and  benevolence  natural.  "  By  sympa- 
thy,"  said  an  ancient  philosopher,  "our  joys  are  increased  and 
our  sorrows  are  diminished. " 

After  looking  up  the  references  under  "Kindness,"  we 
suggest  that  the  very  young  reader  take  \'olume  I  and  become 
familiar  with  "The  north  wind  doth  blow,''  "I  had  a  htde 
doggie,"  "Poor  Babes  in  the  Wood,"  "What  Does  Little 
Birdie  Say?"  and  "I  Like  Little  Pussy."  In  Volume  II  let 
him  turn  to  "Proserpina,"  " Pyramus  and  Thisbe,"  and  "Bal- 
dur. "  Volume  IV  contains  several  sympathetic  tales,  among 
which  we  select  "Oliver  Twist,"  "The  King  of  the  Golden 
River,"  and  "The  Story  of  a  Homer."  Consideration  and 
care  for  animals  will  be  inculcated  by  the  reading  of  Volume  V, 
especially  chapters  XIII,  XXII  and  XXIII,  and  the  article  on 
"Our  Wicked  Waste  of  Life."  In  Volume  VII  be  sure  to 
read  "Father  Damicn  Among  the  Lepers."     The  biographies 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING        109 

in  Volume  IX  are  rich  in  examples  of  big,  sympathetic  char- 
acters like  Whittier,  Livingstone,  Gordon,  John  Wesley,  Harriet 
Beecher  Stowe  and  Florence  Nightingale.  In  Volume  X 
"The  Spirit  of  Love"  will  engage  the  interest  of  every  thought- 
ful person.  There  are  numerous  poems  in  Volume  XI  to  read 
and  remember,  among  them  "Baby  Bell,"  "The  Sands  o' 
Dee,"  "To  a  Mouse,"  "Dickens  in  Camp,"  "The  Crowded 
Street,"  "The  Song  of  the  Shirt,"  and  the  "Elegy  Written  in  a 
Country  Churchyard. " 

t5*        ^*        tS^ 

ABOUT  THINKING 

IT  has  been  wisely  said  that  a  man  is  educated  when  he 
has  "learned  to  think."  Abraham  Lincoln  had  no 
knowledge  of  Latin  or  Greek  or  rhetoric  or  logic,  as  they  are 
taught  in  the  schools,  Horace  Greeley  never  studied  algebra 
or  grammar  or  geometry.  But  both  Lincoln  and  Greeley  were 
splendidly  educated  men.  They  had  learned  to  think  and  to 
express  their  thoughts!  "A  man  who  can  take  into  his  mind 
some  great  subject,  and  then  shut  out  all  the  world  beside 
while  he  thinks  about  it — until  he  has  bounded  it  on  the  north, 
east,  south,  and  west — that  man  is  educated. " 

Sir  Isaac  Newton  was  once  asked  how  he  made  his  great 
discoveries.  He  answered,  "By  thinking  forever  about  them." 
While  he  was  lying  under  an  apple-tree,  a  falling  apple  hit 
him  in  a  "hurtable"  place.  This  caused  him  to  think  why 
the  apple  came  toward  the  earth  and  toward  him  instead  of 
going  toward  the  sun.  This  incident  led  to  long-continued 
thought,  and  such  thought  to  a  great  discovery.  (See  character- 
sketch  of  Sir  Isaac  Newton  in  our  Library,  Volume  IX). 

A  thinking  general  is  worth  a  dozen  mere  fighting  generals, 
however  brave  and  skilful.  Von  Moltke  and  Napoleon  were 
profound  thinkers.  Of  Napoleon  Emerson  said,  "He  won 
his  battles  in  his  head  before  he  won  them  in  the  field."  A 
business  man  who  can  do  real,  vigorous,  and  original  thinking 
is  worth  dozens  of  business  men  who  are  mere  imitators;  and 


110  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

we  are  learning  that  a  farmer  who  studies  and  thinks  is  a  far 
better  farmer  than  one  who  can  merely  plow  a  straight  furrow, 
or  mow  a  wide  swath. 

And  now,  "Gentle  Reader,"  are  you  thinking,  or  are  you 
only  indulging  in  the  common  habit  of  idle  dreaming  and  care- 
less reading  ?  Are  the  statements  we  have  made  true,  or  are  they 
false  ?  Are  they  wholly  true,  or  only  partially  true  ?  Shut  this 
volume  now,  close  your  eyes,  and  for  ten  minutes  force  yourself 
to  think  about  "thinking." 

Now,  open  your  eyes,  and  look  at  that  lamp,  at  that  electric 
light,  at  that  beautiful  engraving  on  the  wall!  They  are  all 
the  result  of  vigorous  thought  reaching  through  many  centuries. 
The  successful  inventors  have  been  great  thinkers. 

Yesterday  a  little  boy  read  the  old  adage — (What  is  an  adage, 
anyhow?) — "Still  waters  run  deep."  Strange  as  it  may  seem, 
he  began  to  think  about  it.  He  said  to  himself,  "This  cannot 
be  true!  Still  water  doesn't  run  at  all."  Then  he  asked  his 
father  about  it,  and  his  father  said,  "Look  in  the  dictionary  for 
the  word  'still.'  Perhaps  it  means  'without  noise,'  not 
'without  motion.'"  That  boy  had  been  told  many  times  to 
keep  still,  but  he  never  before  knew  all  the  meanings  of  the 
word.  The  next  day  it  occurred  to  him  that  he  had  never  looked 
into  the  dictionary  for  the  meaning  of  the  word  "think,"  and 
then  he  began  to  acquire  the  "dictionary  habit,"  one  of  the 
most  useful  habits  that  the  young  learner  and  thinker  can  form. 

Think  about  your  lessons,  and  think  hard.  Think  about 
the  books  and  the  magazines  you  read.  How  much  reading  is 
done  without  thought!  Such  reading  is  a  sort  of  "loafing"  and  a 
mere  excuse  for  laziness.  A  boy  was  reading  a  poor  daily 
newspaper  the  other  day — he  ought  to  have  been  reading  some- 
thing better — 'and  he  found  this  peculiar  sentence :  "  A  hundred 
and  fifty  carloads  of  cats  passed  through  Cleveland  yesterday." 
He  was  really  thinking  when  he  read  that,  and  he  said,  "Gee! 
I  didn't  know  there  were  so  many  cats  in  the  State  of  Penn- 
sylvania. "  By  a  little  thought  and  some  well-directed  questions 
he  discovered  that  the  proof-reader  had  blundered.  The  word 
"cats"  should  have  been  "oats."  Perhaps  he  also  learned  that 
Cleveland  is  not  in  the  state  of  Pennsylvania! 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING       111 

A  boy  of  sixteen  once  read  in  one  of  Shakespeare's  plays 
(see  "The  Winter's  Tale")  something  about  a  ship  reaching 
the  coast  of  Bohemia.  Investigation  revealed  to  him  the  fact 
that  Shakespeare  blundered — Bohemia  has  no  sea-coast. 

Asking  questions  is  a  great  help  in  the  direction  of  sound 
thinking.  Perhaps  you  are  going  to  take  a  walk  with  your 
father,  who  is  a  very  wise  man.  Be  sure  and  have  a  lot  of  in- 
telligent questions  to  ask  him  about  birds  and  trees  and  flowers 
and  fish.  Then  when  you  get  home,  read  the  two  chapters 
"Walks  with  a  Naturalist"  and  "Nature-Study  at  the  Seaside" 
in  Volume  V  of  the  Library. 

There  is  food  for  thought  every\vhere,  in  books  and  running 
brooks,  in  business  and  in  pictures,  in  earth  and  sea  and  sky. 
Thmk!  think!  forever  think! 

You  will  be  helped  and  inspired  as  a  thinker  by  reading  any 
of  th'i  life-sketches  of  great  men  and  women  in  our  Library, 
especially  the  biographies  of  Franklin,  Carlyle,  Newton,  Lydia 
Maria  Child,  Margaret  Fuller  Ossoli,  and  Elizabeth  Barrett 
Browning.  Look  up  the  chapter  on  "The  Habits  of  Ants" 
in  Volume  VIII  and  think  about  it.  Become  thoroughly 
familiar  with  the  following  myths  in  Volume  II,  thinking  about 
them,  asking  questions,  and  consulting  the  dictionary:  "Proser- 
pina," "Orpheus,"  "The  Apples  of  Idun,"  "The  Vision  of 
Tsunu,"    and    "Hiawatha." 

Many  of  the  poems  in  Volume  XI  contain  profound  thought. 
At  random  we  select  a  few  for  study:  "The  Rhodora," 
"A  Forest  Hymn,"  "To  a  Skylark,"  "The  Tiger,"  and 
"Daffodils." 

A  quaint  old  poet  wrote  a  verse  that  seems  very  simple^ 
almost  silly — but  there  is  thought  in  it  after  all.  Perhaps  you 
will  find  it  in  Volume  I  of  the  Library. 

"If  I  was  a  cobbler  it  should  be  my  pride 

The  best  of  all  cobblers  to  be; 
If  I  was  a  tinker,  no  tinker  beside 

Should  mend  an  old  kettle  like  me. '! 

To  be  a  first-class  cobbler,  or  tinker,  or  teacher,  or  stenog- 
rapher, or  farmer,  or  merchant,  or  civil  engineer,  or  poet,  you 
must  "think  hard  and  think  straight  and  think  all  the  time!" 


112  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Children — young  folks — you  have  the  power  to  think.  You 
can  use  this  power  in  any  way  you  choose.  Others  cannot  think 
for  you  any  more  than  they  can  eat  for  you.  Only  by  thinking 
rightly  can  you  become  good  and  true  and  noble  in  conduct  and 
in  character.  Take  some  time  each  day — if  only  three  or  four 
minutes — -to  let  your  mind  dwell  upon  some  good  thought  or 
lofty  ideal.  Ask  your  parents  or  friends  or  teachers  how  you 
can  control  and  develop  your  thought-power. 

We  hope  that  some  boy  who  reads  this  will  say  to  himself, 
"  I  have  made  up  my  mind  to  sit  alone  every  day  and  think  i 
good  thought  for  at  least  five  minutes."  We  hope  that  many 
boys  will  do  this,  and  many  girls  too! 

In  Volume  X  of  the  Library  the  essay  "How  Shall  we 
Learn  to  Think?"  will  be  found  very  helpful. 

^*  ^*  ^% 


THOROUGHNESS 

THERE  is  one  quality  which  ought  peculiarly  to  be  im- 
pressed upon  the  young  people  of  this  day,  when  so 
many  different  kinds  of  things  are  put  before  them  in  bewilder- 
ing rapidity,  and  that  is  thoroughness.  Every  lad  and  lassie 
should  have  a  specialty,  known  from  A  to  Z,  if  it  be  no  more  than 
making  fudge  or  rearing  rabbits.  Let  each  one  choose  some- 
thing within  his  means  and  become  master  of  it.  It  is  better 
to  know  a  few  things  well  than  to  have  a  wide  range  of  half- 
knowledge.  "We  cannot  help  feeling  contempt  for  things 
that  are  only  half  what  they  pretend  to  be;  we  cannot  be  con- 
tent unless  our  treasures  are  real  and  valuable.  We  do  not 
rate  very  highly  any  professions  which  have  not  acts  of  sincerity 
behind  them. "  So  speaks  Miss  Farmingham,  and  the  sentiment 
might  be  greatly  expanded.  A  man  of  business  who  only  half 
attends  to  his  calling  is  certain  to  lose  both  credit  and  trade. 
If  he  would  succeed  he  must  remember  the  divine  injunction 
"Whatsoever  thy  hand  findeth  to  do,  do  it  with  thy  might." 
Such  a  man  will  demand  of  his  workmen  in  turn  that  each  one 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING       113 

carry  through  to  the  very  end  the  task  for  which  he  is  paid — 
and  pick  up  his  chips  besides.  Therefore  let  all  who  have  any- 
thing to  do  with  home  lessons  inculcate  thoroughness  in  all 
things.  Teach  the  children  from  the  beginning  to  complete 
what  they  begin — -to  "make  a  good  job"  of  it. 

Under  "Honor,"  and  "Honesty,"  the  student  will  find  a 
number  of  references  that  apply  to  the  trait  under  consideration. 
A  few  more  may  be  added  here.  In  Volume  I  read  "Do  the 
Best  you  Can,"  "The  Nail,"  and  "The  Husband  Who  was  to 
Mind  the  House. "  Entertaining  lessons  with  point  are  "  Dicky 
Random,"  and  "Busy  Idleness"  in  Volume  III.  Our  chapter 
from  "Tom  Brown's  School  Days"  in  Volume  IV  is  good, 
wholesome  narrative.  In  Volume  IX  read  and  re-read  "The 
Start  and  the  Goal"  and  "Prospects  and  Salary." 

^%  ^^  ^* 

TRUTHFULNESS 

Px\RENTS  are  distressed  to  find  that  their  children  seem 
addicted  to  falsehood  from  their  earliest  years.  Some 
psychologists  have  gone  so  far  as  to  assert  that  it  is  an  innate 
and  universal  vice;  but  theorists  are  often  wrong.  A  child 
which  has  been  treated  with  frankness,  has  not  been  too  sternly 
repressed,  or  frightened  by  a  discipline  it  could  not  under- 
stand, is  candor  and  sincerity  itself:  indeed  it  is  often  too  can- 
did, telling  with  an  embarrassing  frankness  of  things  it  has  seen 
or  heard.  How  imaginative  children  invent  weird  tales,  and 
relate  them  as  truths,  has  been  elsewhere  described;  but  it  is 
not  long,  under  patient  tuition,  before  they  recognize  and 
confess  these  "make-believe"  yarns.  Real  falsehood,  inten- 
tional deception,  is  born  only  of  fear,  or  else  is  imitative.  There 
are  exceptions,  of  course,  to  be  dealt  with  according  to  each 
case,  but  that  is  the  rule.  The  boy's  mischievous  misquotation : 
"A  lie  is  an  abomination  in  the  sight  of  the  Lord,  but  a  very 
present  help  in  time  of  trouble, "  exactly  states  youth's  doctrine 
before  strong  principles  have  become  his  guide  of  action.  The 
conclusion  is  forced  upon  us  that  real  lying  in  young  children 


114  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

is  in  most  cases  the  parents'   fault  rather  than  their  own. 

"If  treated  with  kindness,"  declares  M.  Compayre,  a 
French  student  of  juvenile  development,  "the  child  remains 
trusting  and  sincere;  if  terrified  by  our  severity  he  dissembles 
and  he  lies.  'Who  has  broken  this  piece  of  furniture?'  we  cry 
out  in  anger.  The  little  culprit,  frightened,  answers,  'It  was 
not  I.'  It  would  be  better,  says  Miss  Edgeworth,  to  be  re- 
signed to  having  things  broken  than  to  put  the  child's  sincerity 
to  the  test.  As,  unfortunately,  this  advice  is  often  neglected, 
as  too  many  parents  scold  unceasingly,  right  or  wrong,  the  child 
covers  his  weakness  with  falsehood  as  with  a  buckler. "  Again, 
your  little  one  must  not  be  expected  to  be  truthful  unless  you 
are.  If  he  overhears  you,  or  your  friends  and  servants,  making 
deceptions,  telling  white  lies,  if  not  black  ones,  he  will  naturally 
conclude  he  may  do  the  same  to  hide  a  fault  or  avoid  an  incon- 
venience. Even  more  important  is  it  that  you  should  be  en- 
tirely truthful  with  him.  Keep  your  promises  to  the  letter, 
or  explain  your  failure  to  his  satisfaction.  "  Some  persons 
say  they  never  lie  except  to  children.  By  this  they  mean,  of 
course,  that  they  imagine  a  lie  to  a  child  is  sometimes  defensible 
because  it  seems  necessary.  But,"  says  Mrs.  Allen,  "this  is  a 
policy  which  arises  from  timidity  rather  than  wisdom.  There 
is  always  some  way  of  telling  the  truth  which  is  fitted  to  the 
child,  .  .  Since  we  are  very  particular  that  children  shall  tell  the 
truth  to  us,  and  since  we  find  it  exceedingly  inconvenient  and 
exasperating  if  they  do  not,  it  is  as  well  to  show  them  by 
our  own  example  what  we  mean  by  always  telling  the 
truth." 

That  mother  was  happy  who  overheard  a  playmate  say  to 
her  little  daughter,  "Let's  go  and  ask  your  mother;  she  won't 
fool  us. " 

Truthfulness  is  closely  akin  to  "Honesty"  so  we  refer  the 
reader  to  references  given  under  that  head.  Besides  this  we 
call  attention  to  *'The  Boy  Who  Never  Told  a  Lie, "  in  Volume  I, 
and  "Trial, "  in  Volume  III.  "  Wee  Willie  Winkie, "  in  Volume 
IV,  is  a  brave  Utde  truth-teller.  In  Volume  IX  read  the  life- 
sketches  of  Washington  and  Carlyle.  In  Volume  X  turn  to  the 
article  "  lustice  and  Truth. " 


CONDUCT  AND  CHARACTER-BUILDING        115 


WORK 

OH,  mamma!  Don't  you  just  hate  to  do  that?"  said  the 
dainty,  small  daughter,  as  she  watched  her  mother 
washing  up  the  baking-dishes. 

"Why  no,  dear,  I  don't.  I  like  to  work  for  the  people  I 
love, "  said  the  mother. 

The  daughter  spent  a  moment  deep  in  childish  reflection, 
and  then  she  remarked  that  she  believed  she  would  dust  the 
dining-room  chairs  while  mother  finished  the  kitchen  work. 

Let  the  little  ones  work  with  you  as  soon  as  they  can,  Zelia 
Margaret  Walters  advises  readers  of  "The  Alothers'  Maga- 
zine," even  if  their  childish  awkwardness  does  hinder  more  than 
help  for  a  while,  and  let  them  see  always  a  cheerful,  faithful 
performance  of  every  duty.  The  reward  will  come  by  and  by 
when  the  children  grow  older  with  the  spirit  of  helpfulness 
firmly  fixed  in  them.  Then  they  can  be  entrusted  with  parts 
of  the  work,  and  the  mother  can  be  sure  it  will  be  done  faithfully. 

In  training  httle  children  the  mother  should  see  that  the 
task  is  suited  to  the  child's  endurance.  If  you  give  a  little  girl 
a  great  tableful  of  dishes  to  wash,  you  need  not  be  surprised  if 
she  becomes  fretful  before  she  is  done.  A  child's  enthusiasms 
are  short-lived,  and  a  child's  task  should  be  something  that  can 
be  finished  before  it  becomes  wearisome. 

Parents  must  be  careful  to  give  the  children  tasks  that  are 
suited  to  their  age.  The  thought  that  they  are  working  for 
mother,  for  those  ihey  love,  will  be  an  inspiration.  At  three  or 
four  years  of  age  they  can  begin  to  help  older  people  by  dusting, 
brushing  up,  helping  with  dishes,  etc.  At  four  or  five  years  of 
age  they  can  make  presents  for  friends.  From  six  to  nine  they 
can  begin  to  do  "chores"  regularly,  to  dig  in  the  garden,  to 
do  weeding,  to  do  ironing,  to  wash  dishes,  and  to  care  for  small 
animals.  From  nine  to  fourteen  they  can  begin  and  continue 
housework,  taking  care  of  large  animals,  washing  clothes,  cut- 
ting grass,  pruning  trees,  hoeing,  sewing  by  hand  or  on  a  ma- 
chine, general  care  of  the  house,  and  many  other  things,  de- 
pending on  their  home  and  surroundings.     Both  boys  and  girls 


116  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

should  be  taught  to  be  helpful  and  useful,  and,  if  possible,  to 
love  work — that  is,  really  to  enjoy  the  work  they  are  doing. 

In  early  years  children  should  be  taught  that  all  honest  work 
- — ^be  it  work  of  the  hands  or  work  of  the  brain — is  noble  and 
proper  and  honorable.  To  be  a  drone,  to  be  a  loafer,  is  mean 
and  ignoble.  They  should  be  shown  that  all  great  and  success- 
ful men  and  women  have  been  great  workers — that  they  will 
succeed  in  proportion  as  they  work  with  hands  or  brain.  And 
so  they  should  be  taught  to  do  honest  work  in  mastering  school 
and  college  studies,  and  in  reading  good  books. 

To  encourage  the  spirit  of  work  in  young  children,  brain- 
work  as  well  as  physical  work,  we  suggest  the  following  stories 
and  poems  in  the  Library:  "How  Doth  the  Busy  Little  Bee," 
Volume  I,  and  other  little  poems  in  the  same  department.  In 
Volume  XI  in  the  department  entitled  "Work  and  Industry" 
are  the  following:  "The  Builders,"  "Labor,"  "A  Psalm  of 
Life,"  and  "Address  to  the  Indolent," 

In  Volume  IX  the  older  girls  and  boys  should  read  the  lives 
of  such  noble  workers  as  Abraham  Lincoln,  Louisa  May  Al- 
cott,  Daniel  Webster,  Theodore  Roosevelt — they  should  read 
these  life-sketches  carefully  and  thoughtfully,  and  then — read 
them  over  again,  In  Volume  III  there  are  several  of  the  best 
Robinson  Crusoe  stories  which  children  always  enjoy,  and  which 
illustrate  the  spirit  of  work  under  misfortune.  In  Volume  III 
there  is  also  an  admirable  story  illustrating  this  subject  entitled 
"  Amendment. " 

"The  heights  by  great  men  reached  and  kept, 
Were  not  attained  by  sudden  flight. 
But  they,  while  their  companions  slept, 
Were  toiling  upward  in  the  night." 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE 


O 


THE  CHILD'S  PHYSICAL   START  IN  LIFE 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

NE  of  the  great  facts  of  our  time  is  the  raising  of  the 
physical  standard  for  the  entire  generation  by  the  pre- 
vention and  cure  of  disease.  We  no  longer  regard  poor  diges- 
tions and  weak  nerves  as  disciplinary  arrangements  of  Provi- 
dence, to  be  accepted  uncomplainingly,  but  if  we  find  ourselves 
handicapped  by  them  we  discover  their  cause  and  correct  it. 
Better  than  this,  we  so  start  our  children  in  life  that  they  may 
avoid  these  and  other  evils  and  have  sound  nerves,  strong  diges- 
tions, and  vigorous  brains  as  a  matter  of  course. 

Health  the  First  Care. — It  is  an  unfortunate  fact  that  Ameri- 
can children  come  into  the  world  over-intelligent,  restless,  too 
attractive;  and  it  flatters  our  vanity  to  have  this  so.  We  so 
admire  and  stimulate  them  by  every  contact  with  them  that  we 
increase  the  very  nervousness  we  deprecate  in  our  saner  mo- 
ments and  with  which  later  on  we  have  to  struggle.  The  great 
problem  of  the  mother  who  means  to  have  strong  sons  and 
daughters  is  so  to  fight  this  tendency  to  a  too  early  development 
that  the  nerves  on  the  surface  may  gradually  disappear,  and 
the  precocious  child  may  become  a  mere  healthy  little  animal 
all  through  its  early  years;  and  for  this  fight  it  must  have  four 
things  to  help  it:  quiet;  sleep;  fresh  air;  and  digestible  food. 

The  Necessity  of  Quietness. — It  is  only  the  most  unselfish 
of  mothers  who  will  systematically  keep  the  baby  quiet  and 
forego  her  delight  in  watching  his  display  of  cunning  ways,  and 
relegate  him  to  what  one  wise  woman  has  called,  "  a  warm,  safe, 
happy  background."  It  is  such  a  joy  to  play  with  him,  to  toss 
and  cuddle  him,  to  see  his  eyes  grow  bright  and  hear  him  laugh 
aloud,  that  it  takes  Spartan  self-control  to  let  him  lie  peace- 
fully by  himself  most  of  the  time,  and  when  she  is  with  him  to 

117 


V 


118  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

restrain  herself  from  exciting  his  little  brain,  all  too  ready  to 
wake  up  and  be  amused.  But  how  it  pays!  The  nervous  little 
baby  who  starts  at  every  sound,  seems  not  to  know  how  to 
sleep  for  any  length  of  time,  cries  from  over-fatigue,  and  cannot 
digest  his  food,  may  be  transformed  into  a  child  who  sleeps 
twelve  hours  at  a  time,  eats  everything  given  him  and  only  wishes 
it  were  more;  one  who  is  calm,  robust,  and  generally  delightful, 
if  only  from  the  first  he  is  well  trained. 

Often  the  mother  of  a  first  child  will  declare  that  no  one 
shall  share  with  her  the  sacred  care  of  her  own  baby;  she,  and 
she  alone,  can  be  trusted  to  bathe  and  feed  him,  to  watch  over 
him  from  night  till  morning  and  from  morning  till  night.  But 
unfortunately,  she  had  reckoned  without  counting  the  physical 
cost  to  herself  of  this  constant  devotion.  The  strain  of  watch- 
ing and  nursing  him  at  night  so  tires  her  after  a  time  that  she 
wakes  exhausted  in  the  morning,  and  finds  it  impossible  to  be 
well-poised  and  cheerful  with  him  all  day;  and  so,  little  by  little, 
as  the  care  increases  and  her  strength  lessens,  she  makes  him 
more  and  more  nervous.  It  is  far  better,  both  for  mother  and 
child,  to  divide  the  work  with  some  placid,  trustworthy  German 
or  English  woman;  she  rests  him  and  quiets  him  as  his  high- 
strung,  emotional,  and  imaginative  mother  cannot. 

But  where  this  is  impossible,  or  even  with  it,  the  baby  should 
at  least  be  kept  by  itself  much  of  the  time,  and  when  with  others 
it  should  not  have  their  entire  attention.  A  woman  who  had 
eight  children  was  asked  how  it  was  that  all  of  them  were  so 
strong  and  nerveless;  her  reply  was  that  each  of  them  had  spent 
the  first  six  months  of  its  life  in  a  deep  clothes-basket.  This 
meant,  it  seemed,  that  they  were  kept  apart  from  others,  lying 
peaceful  and  contented,  well  fed  and  cared  for,  sleeping  or 
dozing  the  greater  part  of  the  time,  away  from  all  noise  and  ex- 
citement; and  so  they  acquired  steady  nerves. 

Importance  and  Value  of  Sleep. — With  this  quietness  it 
should  be  comparatively  easy  to  give  the  baby  plenty  of  sleep, 
but  here  mothers,  especially  young  mothers,  make  a  mistake. 
They  do  not  get  the  child  to  sleep  early  enough  in  the  evening, 
but  keep  it  up,  possibly  till  seven  o'clock,  or  even  later,  and 
during  the  day  they  are  careless  how  much  or  little  sleep  it 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  119 

actually  gets;  if  it  takes  any  nap  at  all,  that  in  itself  seems 
sufficient,  no  matter  whether  it  is  a  short  or  long  one.  But  a 
baby  needs  unlimited  quantities  of  sleep;  it  cannot  have  too 
much,  provided  it  takes  it  under  good  conditions.  At  night 
it  should  be  undressed  early,  not  later  than  half  past  five,  bathed, 
rubbed,  dressed  in  light,  warm  night-clothing,  made  perfectly 
comfortable,  and  then  fed  and  put  down  in  a  darkened  room  to 
go  to  sleep  by  itself. 

If  this  habit  is  begun  at  the  very  beginning  of  the  baby's 
life,  it  will  never  rebel  because  it  will  never  know  any  other  way 
of  going  to  sleep;  but  if  it  is  kept  up  till  it  is  overtired,  and  played 
with  till  it  is  wakeful,  and  then  put  down  alone,  a  hard  cry  will 
undoubtedly  result,  and  perhaps  a  struggle  begin  which  it  will 
take  years  to  settle.  It  is  a  temptation  to  a  mother  to  rock  her 
baby  to  sleep  and  sing  to  it,  and  the  baby  enjoys  it  quite  as  much 
as  the  mother.  Yet,  if  she  is  truly  unselfish  she  will  deny  her- 
self and  her  baby,  and  by  starting  it  right  she  will  lay  foundations 
for  after  life  which  will  be  invaluable. 

As  to  naps,  those  necessarily  grow  shorter  as  the  child  grows 
older,  till  from  taking  two  a  day  it  takes  but  one,  and  then  at 
perhaps  four  years,  none  at  all.  But  at  first  these  should  be 
planned  for  and  never  unnecessarily  shortened. 

Side  by  side  with  the  quiet  and  sleep  a  child  needs,  comes 
the  need  of  fresh  air;  to-day  we  are  learning  that  this  is  one  of 
the  great  necessities  of  life;  and  yet  even  now,  knowing  this,  too 
many  babies  get  very  litde  of  it.  A  mother  with  one  servant 
or  none  at  all  and  many  household  cares,  cannot  spend  her  time 
on  the  street  wheeling  the  baby  carriage;  so  the  child  lives  the 
greater  part  of  its  time  indoors.  And  yet  this  is  both  unnecessary 
and  wrong,  for  even  with  cramped  surroundings  it  can  practi- 
cally be  out  of  doors  by  itself. 

Fresh  Air  Required. — When  there  is  an  available  porch,  this 
can  be  screened  off,  and  a  little  bed  put  out  there  for  naps,  and 
also  for  the  child  to  sit  and  play  in.  In  summer  a  carriage 
is  not  a  good  thing  to  use  because  the  pillow  underneath  the 
body  over-heats  it.  If  possible,  all  through  the  warm  weather 
the  child  should  sleep  out  on  the  porch  all  night,  in  this  little  bed. 

Where  there  is  no  ready-made  place  for  the  bed  and  none 


120  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

can  be  made,  then  at  least  a  room  should  be  set  aside  for  the 
baby  to  sleep  in,  which  shall  have  its  windows  kept  open  day 
and  night;  even  in  winter,  if  it  is  well  wrapped  up  and  has  a  hot 
water  bottle  near — not  on — its  feet,  it  will  sleep  and  grow  strong 
as  it  cannot  in  a  heated  room  even  though  the  windows  are  kept 
open  slightly,  because  the  air  there  cannot  be  as  fresh.  The 
tiniest  baby,  well  protected,  may  sleep  out  of  doors  during  the 
day,  and  in  summer  during  the  night  as  well,  in  perfect  safety. 
It  is  of  the  greatest  importance  that  it  should  spend  every  pos- 
sible moment  in  the  open  air. 

Infant  Diet  a  Science. — As  to  food  for  the  little  child,  here 
too,  we  have  advanced  with  strides  of  late.  No  longer  do  we 
follow  traditions,  or  "use  our  judgment,"  in  feeding  him.  In- 
stead, the  doctor  tells  us  exactly  what  to  give,  and  how  much 
at  a  time,  and  at  what  stated  intervals,  and  we  follow  his  di- 
rections. Even  with  no  doctor  at  hand,  there  are  books  to  be 
had  which  tell  these  things  so  clearly  that  any  one  can  use  them. 
Nothing  pays  better  than  the  scrupulous  preparation  of  a  baby's 
food,  the  exact  combinations  of  milk  and  water  and  strained 
cereal  and  all  the  rest  of  the  items  which  take  time  and  care. 
The  second  summer  loses  its  terrors  when  from  the  first 
the  baby  has  been  fed  with  close  attention  to  such  details.  Now- 
adays there  is  no  excuse  for  hit-or-miss  feeding  such  as  was 
formerly  tried;  there  should  be  no  giving  of  undiluted  cow's 
milk  to  the  baby  whose  mother  cannot  nurse  him,  nor  any 
feeding  of  him  whenever  he  cries,  or  such  obsolete  folhes. 
With  perfect  care  in  following  intelligent  rules  a  child  may  have, 
and  will  have,  a  strong,  faultless  digestion  as  it  grows  up. 

^w         x^>         t3^ 

THE  FOOD  OF  THE  GROWING  CHILD 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

IT  may  be  taken  for  granted    that    every   mother   intends 
conscientiously  to  give  her  children  wholesome  food,  but 
unluckily,  we  are  not  all  of  us  certain  to-day  just  what  whole- 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  121 

some  food  is.  The  discussions  on  food  questions  fill  our  daily 
papers,  and  books  are  written  on  vegetarianism,  Fletcherism, 
and  all  the  other  "isms"  till  often  we  are  bewildered.  And 
yet  there  are  some  guides  to  help  us.  One  of  these  is  the 
certainty  that  plain  food  is  decidedly  more  wholesome  for  chil- 
dren than  that  which  is  rich;  another  is  that  fruit,  ripe,  fresh 
or  cooked,  must  also  be  good ;  and  a  third  is  that  no  one  child 
needs  exactly  what  every  other  child  needs. 

It  is  practically  impossible  that  an  entire  family  should  have 
the  same  bill  of  fare,  for  what  is  wholesome  for  one  adult  may 
not  be  for  another,  and  what  an  adult  may  eat  with  safety  the 
stomach  of  a  child  cannot  digest.  This  on  the  face  of  it  compli- 
cates the  housekeeping  problem  at  once.  But  it  pays  to  put 
one's  best  thought  to  the  matter,  and  so  plan  out  meals  that  the 
children  shall  have  a  generous,  substantial  diet  which  will  not 
grow  monotonous  day  after  day,  but  will  be  always  appetiz- 
ing and  nourishing. 

Some  things  children  are  sure  to  thrive  on:  milk  soups, 
boiled  rice,  soft-boiled  eggs,  whole-wheat  bread,  baked  apples, 
custards,  and  stewed  fruits;  and  these  may  serve  as  a  sort  of 
starting  place.  In  addition  to  them  there  may  be  well-cooked 
cereals;  some  of  them,  oatmeal,  particularly,  strained  of  its 
tiny  sharp  points  by  passing  it  through  a  cheesecloth;  others 
served  as  they  are,  but  all  cooked  for  a  long  time,  never  served 
after  being  simply  warmed,  or  cooked  only  twenty  minutes. 

Breakfast  Dishes  for  Children. — These,  with  cream  or  milk, 
make  a  good  beginning  for  a  breakfast.  When  they  pall  on 
the  appetite,  stewed  figs  or  dates  may  be  added  for  a  change,  or 
scraped  maple  sugar  given  for  a  treat,  though  sugar  on  cereals 
as  a  rule  must  be  denied. 

Eggs  may  follow  the  cereal,  and  a  hot  drink  in  winter,  cocoa, 
or  milk,  or  some  simple  cereal  coffee,  but  never  real  coffee  or  tea 
till  after  the  child  has  passed  into  adult  life.  Toast,  or  some- 
times corn-meal  mush,  lightly  fried  may  also  be  given,  but  not  grid- 
dle cakes  or  other  hot  bread,  unless  sparingly,  once  in  a  while. 
As  to  meat,  broiled  bacon  is  an  excellent  breakfast  dish  for  chil- 
dren, but  meat  in  general  is  better  left  off  the  bill  of  fare.  With 
the  cereal,  eggs,  and  fresh  cooked  fruit,  it  will  not  be  necessary. 


122  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Luncheon  and  Dinner.— For  the  noon  meal,  the  old  plan 
was  always  to  give  a  hearty  dinner.  Nowadays  it  is  considered 
doubtful  whether  this  is  the  best  plan.  Where  a  child  comes  in 
from  school  and  eats  hurriedly,  the  meat  and  vegetables  and 
pudding  are  tolerably  sure  to  be  swallowed  too  hastily  for  prop- 
er digestion.  It  is  usually  better  to  give  something  simple 
and  very  nourishing,  and  reserve  the  heavier  things  for  another 
hour. 

Strong  meat  soups  with  vegetables,  split-pea  puree,  or  corn 
soup  made  with  rich  milk,  with  baked  potatoes,  or  rice,  and 
perhaps  a  custard  pudding,  or  fruit,  will  usually  form  a  good 
luncheon  for  a  child.  Then,  if  he  can  have  a  hot  meal  at  night, 
a  broiled  chop,  or  a  bit  of  steak,  or  roast,  chewed  slowly,  with 
simple  vegetables  and  a  plain  pudding  or  more  fruit  again,  this 
will  be  better  for  him  to  sleep  on  than  the  old-fashioned  supper 
of  bread  and  milk,  which  for  the  growing  boy  or  girl  is  not 
enough.  Of  course  heavy  puddings  or  pies  must  not  be  given 
at  night,  or  large  slices  of  roasts  with  gravy,  and  richly  made 
dishes;  but  a  plain  hot  meal  is  better  than  a  cold  one  for  any 
child,  provided  he  is  sturdy,  and  old  enough  to  have  such 
things  properly. 

The  normal  child  will  of  course  wish  for  sweets,  and  he  must 
have  them;  if  they  are  denied  him  at  home  the  craving  will 
induce  his  accepting  them  elsewhere,  and  probably  in  large 
quantities  at  times.  He  should  have  good,  simple  candy  after 
a  meal  rather  often;  molasses  bars,  marshmallows,  simple  sweet 
chocolate  and  peanut  brittle  will  not  hurt  him  at  the  proper 
time  and  in  a  moderate  quantity. 

The  School  Luncheon. — It  is  a  pity  that  children  need  ever 
take  luncheon  to  school,  for  too  often  the  sandwiches  and  cake 
and  other  things  are  not  at  all  what  they  really  need.  When 
this  cannot  be  avoided,  the  mother  must  make  a  study  of  pos- 
sibilities, and  try  to  give  as  nourishing  food  as  possible.  Whole 
wheat  is  better  than  white  bread,  but  both  may  be  used  rather 
than  one.  Rich  cake  should  be  avoided,  but  ginger-snaps  and 
sugar-cakes  and  little  spice-cakes  can  take  their  place.  Some- 
times a  bottle  of  milk  will  be  accepted,  or  a  bottle  of  cocoa  may 
be  put  in  to  be  heated  at  school.     Fruit  may  always  be  added 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  123 

to  the  other  things,  and  a  delightful  surprise  in  the  shape  of  a 
half-dozen  candies  will  help  the  rest  of  the  food  go  down.  There 
is  nothing  more  wearisome  than  putting  up  school  luncheons, 
unless  it  is  eating  them;  but  when  the  inevitable  has  to  be  met, 
it  is  wise  to  deal  with  it  as  intelligently  as  possible. 

Adapting  the  Diet  to  the  Child. — Special  children  need 
special  food,  and  one  of  the  things  a  mother  has  to  study  is 
just  what  each  child  ought  to  have  in  its  dietary.  One  child 
may  be  anemic,  and  this  one  must  have  milk  and  beef  juice 
and  the  vegetables  containing  iron;  another  may  be  nervous,  and 
need  food  containing  phosphates;  a  third  may  have  a  tendency 
to  tuberculosis,  and  he  needs  fatty  foods, — cream  and  butter 
and  oil.  One  may  have  poor  teeth,  and  he  must  have  foods  with 
lime  in  them,  and  one  may  have  nervous  dyspepsia,  and  he  must 
have  things  very  easily  assimilated.  Of  course  such  trouble 
ought  not  to  be;  yet  there  they  are  at  times,  and  the  facts  must 
be  met  and  dealt  with.  The  reward  for  the  mother's  care  in 
this  respect  is  sure  to  come  in  after  years,  for  with  watchful 
feeding  she  can  and  will  give  all  her  children  good,  sound 
stomachs,  and  properly  nourished  bodies. 

A  lack  of  variety  in  a  child's  diet  is  a  fatal  fault,  for  the  best 
of  foods  becomes  distasteful  and  fails  to  nourish  if  it  appears 
too  often  on  the  table.  A  monotonous  diet  is  really  in  the  long 
run  as  bad  as  one  that  is  unwholesome  in  itself.  There  must  be 
constant  change  in  the  menus  prepared  for  the  family  or  else  the 
hungry  child  will  eat  things  between  meals  which  are  bad  for 
him,  or  bolt  the  food  on  the  table  merely  to  get  rid  of  it  as  quickly 
as  possible. 

Curiously  enough,  the  stomach  fails  to  increase  in  strength 
if  it  is  given  simple  food  alone,  when  it  has  grown  beyond  that. 
A  growing  boy,  fed  only  soft  cereals  and  boiled  eggs  and  custards, 
will  in  time  develop  dyspepsia,  because  he  needs  something 
better  suited  to  him.  After  five  years  at  least,  hearty  food  is 
demanded;  meats,  vegetables  and  plain  desserts  must  be  added 
to  the  simple  things,  and  if  all  is  masticated  properly  it  will  be 
digested.  Naturally  in  any  family  there  will  often  be  food  on 
the  table  which  the  growing  child  must  not  have.  Sometimes  the 
denial  may  be  only  in  part,  and  the  mother  may  say,  "  We  will 


124  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

save  you  some  for  to-morrow";  but  sometimes  the  "no"  must 
be  final,  and  then  the  child  must  learn  to  give  up  cheerfully,  be- 
cause he  belives  that  as  he  grows  older,  he,  too,  may  have  what 
the  rest  have. 

Admonition  as  to  Table  Manmrs. — There  should  be  just 
a  word  as  to  table  manners.  Rudeness  even  in  a  little  child 
should  never  be  countenanced,  and  though  one  may  not  be 
deft  and  tidy  in  early  childhood,  yet  with  care,  even  a  small 
child  may  learn  to  be  quiet  and  dainty  at  the  table.  Constant 
correction  is  decidedly  unpleasant  all  around,  but  if  one  has 
to  take  a  meal  or  two  in  the  nursery  because  he  has  not  behaved 
well  at  the  general  table  for  a  day,  an  improvement  will  date 
from  that  moment.  Certainly  nothing  can  be  more  unpardon- 
able than  careless  table  manners  as  one  grows  out  cf  childhood, 
and  the  conscientious  mother  must  not  fail  to  train  her  children, 
while  they  are  still  small  enough  to  learn,  that  courtesy  to  others 
demands  that  they  should  observe  the  proprieties  from  the  very 
first. 

^*  &?•  t?* 

THE  CHILD'S  DRESS 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

AMERICAN  extravagance  nowhere  so  runs  riot  as  in  the 
way  our  children  are  clothed.  Not  even  on  the  boule- 
vards of  Paris  does  one  see  such  beautifully  dressed,  and  such 
extravagantly  overdressed,  little  ones,  as  are  met  everywhere 
in  the  streets  and  parks  of  our  cities.  Our  shop  windows  are 
full  of  exquisite  bonnets  of  tulle  and  rose-buds  for  little  heads, 
and  tiny  silk  petticoats,  embroidered  gowns,  white  silk  coats  and 
a  thousand  other  lovely,  expensive,  and  foolish  things.  The 
very  immigrants  who  land  on  our  shores  are  infected,  and  it  is 
no  uncommon  sight  to  see  a  mother  in  peasant  costume  with  a 
shawl  over  her  head,  carrying  a  child  in  a  dress  of  soiled  white 
openwork,  with  a  hat  gay  with  fragile  flowers — things  un- 
dreamed of  in  her  home. 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  125 

Our  common  sense  seems  to  vanish  when  we  shop  for  our 
children.  We  rarely  hesitate  over  a  fashion,  no  matter  how 
extreme  it  is;  when  large  hats  are  in  vogue,  we  buy  the  largest 
ones  we  can  find  for  our  little  girls,  or  when  Eton  collars  are 
spread  out  for  small  boys,  we  never  wonder  whether  they  will 
be  comfortable  or  becoming,  but  at  once  take  half  a  dozen  home 
because  they  are  to  be  worn  by  all  the  small  boys  in  town.  We 
are  tempted  by  each  new  season  to  some  fresh  absurdity  or  new 
extravagance;  we  do  not  ask  for  the  sensible  thing  any  more, 
but  only  for  the  very  latest. 

Comfortable  Dress  for  Boys. — In  dressing  a  little  boy,  at  any 
rate,  one  cannot  afford  to  dispense  with  the  simple  things  he 
likes.  There  are  always  corduroys  and  tweeds  to  be  had,  and 
tam-o'-shanters,  or  some  other  easy  sort  of  cap  for  his  head, 
and  shirt-waists,  knickerbockers,  and  other  things  he  approves 
of.  Of  course  he  must  have  a  "best"  suit,  but  at  least  it  can 
be  something  not  too  conspicuous.  The  Little  Lord  Fauntleroy 
styles  have  gone  out,  forever  let  us  hope,  and  velvet  and  lace  and 
long  curls  are  things  of  the  past.  White  pique  suits  for  very 
small  boys  and  something  equally  good  and  simple  for  the  older 
ones  are  far  less  exasperating  to  boyish  feelings. 

Clothing  for  boys  should  certainly  be  comfortable,  whether 
it  is  fashionable  or  not.  A  certain  judge  was  recently  asked, 
''What  is  your  most  vivid  recollection  of  your  childhood?" 
"The  seams  in  my  trouser-legs,"  he  ruefully  answered.  A 
boy's  shoes  should  be  large  enough  and  of  good  shape,  his 
collars  well  fitted,  his  suit  neither  too  hea\y  nor  too  light  for  the 
weather,  and  his  sleeves  long  enough  to  look  well.  Fashion 
should  have  little  or  nothing  to  say  to  his  everyday  clothes,  and 
the  mother  who  demands  that  one  season  he  shall  wear  leather 
leggings  from  hip  to  ankle  and  another  that  kilts  and  bare  knees 
shall  be  the  rule,  makes  a  serious  mistake.  He  should  wear 
what  he  can  play  ball  in  with  ease  to  his  mind  and  body;  some- 
thing which  mud  will  not  ruin,  and  fences  will  not  too-easily 
tear.  A  boy  suffers  more  from  being  over-dressed  than  a  grown 
person  sometimes  guesses,  and  it  is  better  to  preserve  his  temper 
in  good  shape  than  his  raiment.  If  sometimes,  at  church  or  a 
party  or  dancing  school,  he  must  be  made  uncomfortable  by 


/ 


126  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

having  on  clothes  which  he  despises  for  being  too  good,  at 
least  on  every-day  occasions  he  should  not  be  tormented  by 
being  unnecessarily  fussed  over. 

Tasteful  Clothes  for  Little  Girls. — Dressing  a  little  girl,  how- 
ever, is  no  such  simple  matter.  Of  course,  first  of  all  her  cloth- 
ing must  be  healthful;  warm  enough,  light  enough,  and  not  too 
tight  anywhere  for  perfect  ease;  but  quite  aside  from  this,  it 
'^  should  be  attractive.  A  girl's  dress  is  a  means  of  education  to 
her,  and  her  good  taste  in  any  direction  in  after  life  depends 
largely  upon  her  being  dressed  appropriately  and  daintily  in  her 
early  girlhood.  This  does  not  mean  that  her  clothing  need  be 
expensive.  It  costs  no  more  to  buy  a  winter  dress  of  soft, 
dull  green  and  blue  plaids,  than  one  of  scarlet  and  yellow,  but 
the  difference  is  vast  on  the  mind  of  the  child.  Her  ribbons 
of  colors  which  harmonize  with  her  gowTis  are  quite  as  easy 
to  get  as  those  in  violent  contrast  with  them.  One  girl  whose 
mother  always  told  her  that  nothing  mattered  in  her  clothing  pro- 
vided it  was  whole  and  neat,  and  who  wore  dresses  of  hideous 
colors,  sashes  of  rainbow  hues,  and  ginghams  with  stripes  where 
tucks  had  been  let  down,  said  when  a  woman,  "I  simply 
have  no  taste  in  dress;  I  blush  to  see  myself  in  the  glass  to-day, 
and  my  mother  did  me  an  injustice  when  she  let  me  grow 
up  so  indifferent  to  everything  of  the  kind." 

Cultivating  Good  Taste. — A  mother  owes  her  child  a  duty 
in  such  ways.  She  should  train  her  eye  to  see  and  enjoy  beauti- 
ful colors  and  artistic  cuts  quite  as  much  as  she  should  teach  her 
to  be  tidy  and  clean.  It  is  not  necessary  to  let  a  child  become 
over-careful  in  such  ways,  or  vain  of  her  pretty  things;  if  cloth- 
ing is  not  spoken  of  except  incidentally,  and  good,  appropriate 
things  are  chosen  as  a  matter  of  course,  she  will  simply  accept 
them  and  her  taste  will  be  educated  without  her  knowledge. 
There  is  far  less  harm  in  following  this  course  than  the  other.  A 
child  becomes  painfully  self-conscious  when  she  sees  the  differ- 
ence in  her  own  dress  and  that  of  other  children;  if  she  is  over- 
dressed and  conspicuous  in  any  way,  she  suffers  from  it.  Loud 
colors  and  startling  effects  first  give  a  child  the  effect  of  vul- 
garity and  then,  too  often,  make  her  vulgar.  There  is  a  dis- 
tinctly  refining  influence  in  quiet,  well-chosen  clothing.      It 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  127 

does  not  follow  that  such  dressing  is  necessarily  economical;  it 
may  be  or  it  may  not  be.  One  can  put  more  money  in  a  sheer 
lawn  trimmed  with  hand  embroidery  than  in  a  dress  covered 
with  lace  ruffles.  But  a  child  may  be  distinctly  well  dressed 
on  a  small  sum;  it  is  not  the  cost  of  the  materials  or  work  which 
makes  them  tasteful,  but  the  choice  of  goods  and  cut. 

As  to  the  ethics  of  dress,  here  too,  one  may  well  stop  and 
consider.  If  it  is  immoral  to  put  too  much  money  in  clothes,  as 
it  surely  is,  how  about  the  time  a  mother  often  spends  on  making 
them?  If  her  health  suffers  from  long  hours  over  the  sewing 
machine,  have  her  children  any  right  to  elaborate  clothes? 
Should  she  sacrifice  both  time  and  money  foolishly  merely  to 
stimulate  their  vanity  or  her  own  ?  Certainly  she  has  a  duty  to 
them  in  this  respect.  They  must  be  taught  that  there  are 
things  more  important  than  clothes,  the  health  and  time  of  their 
mother ,  and  that  these  must  not  be  sacrificed  needlessly.  It 
is  better  to  wear  a  frock  out  of  season  than  to  have  a  mother  sit 
up  at  night  to  get  it  done  for  some  special  occasion. 

Simplicity  in  Clothing. — Fortunately,  as  a  solvent  to  these 
problems  of  dress  comes  in  the  new  fashion  of  simxplicity  for 
children.  Even  the  very  rich  do  not  overload  their  little  ones 
to-day  as  they  did  recently.  One  millionaire  in  showing  his 
lovely  new  home  to  a  friend  opened  a  hall  door  on  a  playground 
where  half  a  dozen  children  were  making  mud-pies  and  climbing 
fruit-trees,  and  all  of  them,  boys  and  girls  alike,  were  dressed  in 
blue  denim  bloomers.  The  day  of  what  has  been  well  called 
"the  white  plague,"  is  rapidly  going,  let  us  hope.  Nothing 
could  be  more  painful  to  a  lover  of  children  than  to  see  them  all 
dressed  in  snowy  coats,  dresses  and  hats,  forbidden  to  run  or 
play  lest  they  tumble  or  soil  their  spotless  clothes. 

One  of  the  signs  of  good  breeding  is  an  absolute  unconscious- 
ness of  what  one  has  on.  If  a  boy  or  girl  habitually  wears 
simple,  but  appropriate  clothing  to  school  or  play  or  church,  and 
if  litde  or  nothing  is  said  about  it,  this  sign  should  not  be  lacking 
in  later  years.  To  be  dressed  with  due  regard  to  the  prevailing 
fashion  but  never  with  regard  to  its  extremes;  to  be  simply, 
comfortably,  prettily  gowned,  in  good  taste  if  not  in  costly  materi- 
als, is  to  grow  up  without  that  intense  interest  in  clothes  which 


128  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

we  deprecate  in  so  many  to-day.  To  be  over-dressed  Is  never 
to  be  well  dressed,  and  to  teach  one's  children  how  to  follow  the 
golden  mean  of  good  taste  is  well  worth  the  thought  of  mothers. 

e^*  t5*  (t?* 

THE  CHILD'S  ROOM 

BY  CAROLESTE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

AS  soon  as  the  child  is  old  enough  to  leave  the  nursery  it 
should,  if  it  is  a  possible  thing,  have  a  room  to  itself. 
It  is  infinitely  soothing  to  the  nerves  to  have  the  peace  and  quiet 
of  an  unshared  sleeping  place,  to  have  bureau  drawers  and  closet 
all  to  oneself,  and  to  have  untouched  places  for  one's  own  best- 
loved  belongings.  This  may  tend  to  selfishness,  possibly,  but 
that  must  be  counteracted  in  some  other  way.  Of  course  with 
a  large  number  of  children  this  ideal  of  the  separate  room  may 
not  be  possible;  but  at  least  two  children  can  always  have  sepa- 
rate beds,  and  a  certain  amount  of  space  kept  sacredly  for  each 
in  closet  and  bureaus;  so  much  each  has  a  right  to  have. 

Children's  Roojns  Should  be  Attractive. — It  is  not  necessary 
that  much  money  should  be  spent  to  give  a  child  an  attractive 
room;  but  it  is  really  necessary  that  it  should  be  one  that  is 
pretty  and  appropriate  to  his  needs  if  he  is  to  remember  his 
home  with  affection.  The  old  idea  too  many  parents  had  that 
"anything  will  do  for  the  children's  rooms,"  is  not  to  be  men- 
tioned to-day.  Anything  will  do  better  for  any  other  room  in 
the  house  than  the  room  the  children  so  soon  grow  out  of  and 
away  from  forever. 

There  should  be  a  plain  floor-covering  first  of  all;  this  may 
be  a  matting,  or  a  surface  of  brown  stain  with  a  rug  over  it,, 
but  no  worn  out,  flimsy  carpet  should  be  tolerated.  It  is  easy 
enough  to  paint  or  stain  the  floor,  and  a  hit-or-miss  rag  rug  will 
do  excellently  if  there  is  nothing  better  to  lay  down.  Then  as 
to  furniture,  by  all  means  have  narrow  white  iron  beds  if 
possible,  not  wooden  ones.  A  coat  of  white  paint  can  be  put 
on  whenever  it  is  needed,  and  so  they  will  always  be  fresh  and 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  129 

attractive.  If  a  boy  prefers  a  couch  with  a  cover,  then  have  it 
look  as  neat  as  may  be,  not  spread  up  with  unaired  blankets 
day  after  day,  but  made  up  as  a  bed  should  be,  with  the  cover 
laid  on  in  the  daytime  only. 

The  wall-paper  should  be  appropriate  to  the  room.  If  it  is 
one  with  a  cold,  north  outlook,  never  choose  a  blue  paper,  or 
one  of  pale  green,  but  get  a  red  or  pink,  or  striped  or  flowered 
paper.  For  a  girl's  room  a  white  ground  covered  with  bright, 
good  sized  roses  is  always  pretty;  a  boy  will  probably  prefer  a 
soft  hunter's  green,  or  an  Indian  red,  and  a  plain,  inexpensive 
cartridge  paper  is  a  good  choice  in  this. 

Furniture  and  Conveniences. — The  chairs  in  the  room  should 
be  substantial,  not  fragile;  old  ones  which  have  been  set  away, 
often  may  be  painted  white  to  match  the  bed  and  used  again, 
especially  if  their  seats  are  upholstered  in  a  gay  cretonne.  A 
strong  wicker  chair  of  plain  design  is  a  delight,  and  for  a  boy,  a 
hea\y  wooden  rocker  which  will  suffer  all  things  without  giving 
way,  may  be  bought  and  painted  to  match  the  rest  of  the  room. 

As  to  curtains,  fresh  air,  especially  at  night,  is  a  prime  neces- 
sity in  any  bedroom,  so  they  should  not  be  heavy  or  too  good; 
dotted  Swiss  makes  good  curtains,  as  they  can  be  taken  down 
and  washed  often.  Over  these  chintz  may  hang  in  straight 
lines  at  either  side  of  the  window  without  keeping  out  the  air, 
and  with  a  plain  paper  nothing  could  be  prettier. 

In  some  corner  of  the  room  there  should  certainly  be  what  we 
call  a  shirt-waist  box;  that  is,  a  strong,  prettily  covered  box  of 
medium  size,  which  can  hold  blouses  or  shirts  or  other  starched 
things  without  crushing  them,  and  in  addition  can  be  used  as 
a  seat.  Often  these  boxes  are  put  in  the  window,  but  as  rain 
is  pretty  sure  sometimes  to  find  its  way  in  at  night  and  ruin 
them,  a  corner  of  the  room  is  a  better  place. 

The  bureau  in  a  child's  room  should  not  be  ornate,  but 
plain,  yet  it  may  be  painted  white  and  have  a  pretty  cover  of 
chint?  or  muslin,  and  a  good  glass.  As  a  girl  grows  older  it 
will  be  time  enough  to  get  a  dressing-table  for  her;  but  a  chest 
of  drawers,  not  too  high,  with  a  plainly  framed  mirror  over 
it,  makes  a  delightful  substitute,  either  for  this  or  for  a  bureau. 
The  washstand  should  never  be  set  out  with  cracked  or  mis- 


130  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

mated  china,  but  a  simple,  attractive  set  should  be  used,  other- 
wise the  delight  in  the  room  is  at  once  spoiled  for  the  child. 
One  of  the  things  which  is  most  prized  and  remembered  is  a 
light,  dainty  bowl  and  pitcher,  with  a  colored  pattern  matching 
the  room.  A  set  with  rosebuds  for  a  girl's  pink  room  will  never 
be  treated  carelessly. 

Books  and  Pictures. — A  little  writing  desk,  or  a  small  table 
fitted  out  with  writing  materials,  is  a  constant  joy  to  either  a 
boy  or  girl;  a  couple  of  coats  of  white  paint  will  make  almost 
anything  look  well,  and  a  big  sheet  of  blotting-paper  of  the 
tint  of  the  walls,  a  plain  glass  inkstand  and  some  inexpensive 
paper  and  envelopes  will  be  a  real  delight.  Over  this  desk  may 
be  a  book-shelf;  a  long  board  fastened  to  the  wall  and  painted 
white  is  good;  or  there  may  be  a  small  book-case;  but  certainly 
there  should  be  one  or  the  other,  to  hold  the  child's  own  books, 
those  he  loves  and  reads  again  and  again,  and  adds  to  from 
year  to  year. 

As  to  pictures,  there  need  not  be  many,  nor  need  they  be 
costly,  but  for  the  sake  of  educating  the  child's  taste  they  should 
be  good  ones.  A  girl  will  like  a  Madonna,  an  Italian  peasant, 
a  soft  brown  photograph  of  some  lovely  cathedral  or  city  street. 
A  boy  will  enjoy  a  Sir  Launfal,  some  of  Landseer's  dogs,  or  a 
good  picture  of  a  harbor  full  of  boats. 

Privacy  Guaranteed. — In  one  corner  of  the  room  there  should 
be  a  curtained  book-case  with  shelves,  kept  for  a  child's  own 
personal  belongings;  a  boy's  collections  of  abandoned  birds' 
nests,  butterflies  or  stones;  or  dolls  and  dresses,  or  whatever 
a  girl  treasures  most.  This  should  be  sacredly  kept,  untouched 
by  older  hands.  Besides  this,  there  should  be  space  if  pos- 
sible for  anything  of  especial  value  which  the  owner  wants  to 
have  near  by;  perhaps  a  turning  lathe,  or  a  doll's  bed,  or  what- 
ever seems  most  precious  at  the  time;  these  will  be  outgrown 
and  replaced  by  other  things,  but  they  should  be  kept  in  the 
child's  own  room,  if  there  is  where  they  are  wanted,  to  give  a 
delightful  sense  of  proprietorship. 

On  Saturday  mornings  both  a  boy  and  a  girl  should  devote 
as  much  time  as  necessary  to  putting  the  room  to  rights.  Some 
one  else  may  perhaps  sweep  it,  and  wash  the  windows  and  do 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  131 

such  things,  but  the  owner  should  be  responsible  for  the  order 
of  the  closet  and  bureau  drawers,  the  dusting,  the  arranging  and 
general  care;  nothing  so  trains  a  child  to  keep  a  room  neat  day 
by  day  as  the  knowledge  that  half  a  Saturday  may  have  to  be 
spent  in  setting  it  all  to  rights  if  it  is  neglected  during  the  week. 
There  should  be  one  word  said  on  another  side  of  this  ques- 
tion; that  is,  the  respect  the  members  of  a  family  should  have 
toward  a  child's  room.  Too  often  it  is  used  by  this  or  that  one, 
perhaps  to  sew  in,  or  to  write  in,  when  any  other  would  do  as 
well,  and  so  the  child  loses  that  complete  ownership  which 
means  so  much  to  him.  The  right  a  child  has  to  have  its  own 
room  to  itself  is  one  not  to  be  held  lightly  by  the  rest  of  the 
circle. 

^*  ^*  t^w 

THE  CHILD'S  PLAY  AND  PLAYMATES 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT   BURRELL 

AS  the  old  man  looks  back  on  his  boyhood,  what  stories 
does  he  tell?  Not  those  of  his  struggles  with  the  Rule 
of  Three,  nor  of  his  early  work  on  the  farm  or  in  the  shop,  but 
of  the  day  he  ran  away  from  school  and  went  fishing,  or  of  his 
first  glimpse  of  the  circus;  just  as  the  white-haired  grandmother 
tells  the  children  at  her  knee  of  the  games  the  girls  played  at  the 
noon  recess  rather  than  of  the  patch-work  she  sewed  at  home. 
The  plays  and  playmates  of  our  youth  leave  ineffaceable  memo- 
ries. Our  children's  first  contact  with  their  fellow-beings  molds 
their  characters;  this  makes  their  associations  and  amusements 
of  the  deepest  importance. 

Self- amusement  the  Best. — As  the  little  ones  emerge  from 
babyhood,  leaving  their  rubber  dolls  and  blocks  on  the  nursery 
floor,  we  are  apt  to  give  them,  as  substitutes,  playthings  that  are 
valueless.  A  rich  man  recently  built  a  magnificent  home. 
One  floor  was  an  immense  play-room  for  his  five  children,  fitted 
up  with  every  elaborate  device  for  their  entertainment,  from  a 
miniature  steam-railway  to  a  doll's  house  complete  in  its  minu- 
test detail,  besides  every  mechanical  toy  to  be  purchased.     The 


132  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

children  were  first  bewildered,  then  enchanted,  then  bored. 
Having  seen  the  engine  revolve  on  its  iron  track,  and  rear- 
ranged the  furniture  of  the  doll's  house,  and  wound  up  the  auto- 
matic toys,  the  children  turned  away  and  said,  "  Let's  play  some- 
thing!" 

There  is  the  key  to  the  question  of  a  child's  amusement:  let 
it  exercise  its  imagination  and  its  ingenuity.  How  satisfac- 
tory it  is  to  make  a  doll's  house  from  a  soap  box,  to  cut  real 
windows  and  drape  them  with  bits  of  muslin,  and  to  manufac- 
ture pasteboard  furniture  only  that  child  can  tell  who  has  spent 
long,  delightful  days  over  it.  The  joy  of  whittling  out  a  boat 
and  rigging  its  sails  far  exceeds  that  a  boy  can  feel  who  merely 
owns  a  boat  that  has  been  bought.  To  make  dolls'  dresses  is 
better  fun  than  to  dress  a  doll  in  those  already  made.  Labo- 
riously to  construct  a  kaleidoscope  is  more  interesting  than  to 
turn  round  and  round  one  purchased  in  a  shop.  Give  a  boy  a 
tool-box,  a  scroll-saw,  a  turning-lathe,  and  teach  him  to  use 
them;  give  a  girl  a  stove  which  will  really  cook,  and  some  little 
kettles  and  pans,  and  you  have  supplied  them  with  endless 
sources  of  delight.  To  construct  is  the  joy  of  the  growing 
mind.  It  matters  little  if  the  results  are  crude  or  meager,  the 
pleasure  is  as  genuine  as  though  one  had  painted  pictures  like 
Raphael's,  or  composed  nocturnes  like  Chopin's. 

As  the  children  grow  older  a  whole  vista  of  intellectual  plays 
opens  before  them.  To  own  a  printing-press  in  common  is  an 
excellent  thing.  Paper  money  and  cheques  can  be  printed  with 
which,  with  a  little  instruction,  banks  may  be  managed.  A  real- 
estate  business  may  be  conducted  with  hall  lots  and  parlor 
building-sites  advertised  on  posters;  or,  if  these  plays  become 
too  engrossing,  and  too  serious  an  interest  be  shown  in  the 
amassing  of  fortunes,  a  story-book  may  be  collaborated  first, 
and  then  printed.  Such  a  souvenir  of  childish  companionship 
would  be  cherished  most  dearly  in  later  years.  The  reading  of 
"Little  Women"  will  suggest  the  delights  of  a  weekly  newspaper 
patterned  after  the  one  the  March  sisters  conducted  so  ably. 
There  are  endless  uses  to  which  one  may  put  a  small  font  of 
type;  its  very  possession  is  inspiring. 

By  all  means  let  boys  and  girls  share  their  plays  as  far  as 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  133 

possible.  Brothers  are  too  apt  to  feel  that  there  are  only  a  few 
pleasures  that  their  sisters  may  have  with  them,  when,  rather, 
there  are  only  a  few  which  they  may  not.  It  is  an  important 
part  of  the  education  of  boys  and  girls  that  they  play  t^ogether. 
Their  differences  of  temperament  and  training  are  invaluable 
by  way  of  exchange. 

When  other  games  grow  monotonous  there  is  that  Twenty 
Questions,  which  can  be  made  to  turn  on  any  subject  from  Mother 
Goose  to  history  or  zoology.  This  is  really  a  most  useful 
guide  to  knowledge,  and  interesting  even  to  children  of  a  larger 
growth. 

Contrasted  with  these  plays,  which  are  all  for  the  house,  are 
athletic  and  out-of-door  sports  of  all  sorts,  but  these  need  no 
suggestions.  Baseball  and  hoop-rolling  and  wheeling  and 
skating  are  all  to  be  commended  for  the  sake  of  fresh  air  and 
exercise,  and  a  large  proportion  of  a  child's  time  should  be 
spent  over  them.  Nevertheless,  the  plays  which  train  the 
mind  should  not  be  overlooked.  The  combination  of  the  two 
kinds  of  amusements,  physical  and  mental,  is  found  in  the 
"shows"  all  children  love.  The  boys'  circus,  the  girls'  dramat- 
ic performance  of  "Cinderella,"  the  minstrels — these  must 
not  be  forgotten.  No  home  should  be  too  nice  to  be  used,  es- 
pecially if  there  are  children  in  it.  Better  have  your  boy  give 
a  circus  in  your  attic,  or  even  in  your  dining-room,  than  in  your 
neighbor's.  Lend  them  your  wardrobe  and  be  their  audience. 
Only  see  to  it  that  pertness  and  love  of  display  do  not  become 
too  flagrant,  and  that  no  one  child  always  takes  the  lead. 

The  Question  of  Playmates. — This  bringing  of  other  children 
into  the  family  circle  suggests  the  whole  question  of  playmates. 
With  whom  shall  our  children  play?  With  the  children  of  our 
social  equals  only?  With  those  children  alone  whom  we 
consider  good?  Or  with  the  children  of  the  neighborhood  re- 
gardless of  character  and  social  conditions?  If  one  is  to  choose 
a  home,  the  question  of  the  children's  social  environment  should 
always  be  considered.  To  buy  a  house  and  then  forbid  your 
child  to  play  with  the  other  children  in  the  vicinity  is  asking  too 
much  of  him.  Choose  carefully,  if  you  have  the  opportunity 
of  choice.     If  you  have  not,  but  must  bring  up  your  children 


134  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

where  you  happen  to  live,  then  a  consistent  line  of  conduct  should 
be  decided  upon  with  regard  to  their  playmates. 

The  Neighbors'  Children. — The  first  thing  is  to  know  them, 
and  to  do  this  you  must  see  them  in  your  owti  home.  Ask  them 
over  on  long  rainy  days  and  study  them;  invite  them  to  a  meal 
now  and  then;  listen  to  what  your  child  quotes  from  them.  It 
is  well  to  be  on  good  terms  with  all  of  them,  and  let  them  feel 
welcome  in  your  home.  You  will  find,  undoubtedly,  something 
in  each  child  v/hich  you  do  not  like,  as  other  parents  see  things 
they  dislike  in  yours.  But  since  you  cannot  provide  your  boy 
or  girl  with  angelic  companionship  here  below,  you  must  accept 
'heir  little  human  companions  as  they  are.  Possibly,  once  in 
a  lifetime,  you  will  find  a  really  bad  child  whom  you  must  forbid 
the  house,  but  ordinarily  you  will  find  other  children  much  like 
your  own.  One  must  expect  their  little  faults  and  do  one's 
best  to  counteract  them.  When  necessary,  speak  of  their  short- 
comings frankly,  and  warn  your  child  against  them,  but  always 
make  out  as  good  a  case  as  possible  for  the  neighbors. 

We  should  be  on  our  guard  against  the  tendency  to  cultivate 
friendship  for  the  sake  of  externals.  If  your  child  is  inclined  to 
dwell  on  the  fact  that  its  small  friend  has  a  beautiful  home,  or 
an  abundance  of  pocket-money,  or  noticeably  fine  clothes, 
always  throw  the  emphasis  where  it  belongs  by  inquiring  as  to 
its  temper,  its  generosity,  or  its  standing  in  school.  Let  your 
child  see  clearly  that  morals,  mind,  and  manners  are  the  really 
important  things.  If  your  social  afliliations  do  not  belie  your 
teachings,  you  will  find  his  character  influenced  for  a  lifetime  in 
this  way. 

Having  done  your  best  to  lay  down  principles  of  conduct  for 
your  boy  and  girl,  let  them  associate  freely  with  other  children. 
They  can  learn  to  live  only  by  living.  You  cannot  always  be  on 
the  watch.  It  is  a  mistake  to  coddle  children  too  much;  they 
must  learn  to  accept  the  brunt  of  things  and  manage  for  them- 
selves. Listen  to  all  they  ha\'e  to  say,  but  train  them  to  arrange 
their  own  affairs  without  unnecessary  tale-bearing.  Quarrels 
doubdess  will  come.  The  boys  will  fight  sometimes,  and  the 
girls  take  their  dolls  and  come  home  pouting,  and  then  all  the 
parent  can  do  is  to  try  to  be  not  only  fair,  but  magnanimous. 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  135 

Point  out  the  other  child's  position,  and  show  that  both  are 
probably  in  the  ^vrong,  Above  all,  discourage  grudges.  In- 
culcate self-control  and  that  spirit  of  generosity  in  dealing  with 
others  which  will  avoid  disputes. 

Children  get  more  moral  training  from  their  contact  with^, 
other  children  than  from  almost  any  other  source.  This  is  their 
real  life,  their  life  of  intense  feeling  and  action,  and  for  this  rea- 
son parents  should  take  their  children's  plays  and  playmates 
intelligently  and  seriously.  We  must  teach  our  boys  and  girls 
alike  that  there  may  be  evil  in  the  words  and  ways  of  other 
children,  and  they  must  be  pure;  that  there  may  be  cowardice, 
and  they  must  be  brave;  that  there  may  be  cruelty  and  selfishness 
and  they  must  be  kind  and  generous;  that  is  our  only  safety  from 
harm.  We  must  also  teach  them  that  there  is  nobility  in  their 
playmates  which  they  must  strive  to  copy;  to  train  them  to  be 
broad-minded  and  good. 

^^v  %^^  %S^ 

THE  CHILD'S  HOME 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

WHAT  a  child  shall  become  depends  largely,  almost  entire- 
ly, upon  the  atmosphere  of  its  home.  Environment,  not 
heredity  or  temperament,  in  the  long  run  settles  the  disposition 
and  character.  For  this  reason  it  is  not  enough  to  give  a  child 
a  home  of  comfort  alone;  it  is  far  more  important  to  give  him 
one  which  will  develop  the  best  in  him. 

It  is  the  mother  more  than  the  father  who  sets  the  keynote  of 
family  life.  She  is  there  when  the  father  is  necessarily  away; 
usually,  too,  it  is  she  who  decides  the  small  matters  of  training, 
and  it  is  her  disposition  which  determines  whether  the  home 
shall  be  gay  or  sober,  full  of  the  dull  spirit  of  work,  or  bright 
with  the  air  of  interest  and  amusement.  That  it  is  difficult 
for  an  over-worked  mother — and  what  mother  of  small  children 
is  not  over- worked  ? — to  maintain  the  highest  ideals  of  personal 
conduct  for  herself  and  her  family,  there  can  be  not  the  smallest 


y 


136  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

doubt;  but  that  this  responsibility  is  hers  must  be  admitted. 
Cheerfulness  a  Rule. — One  mother  said  recently  in  a  maga- 
zine article  that  if  she  were  to  begin  over  again  her  family  life 
she  would  make  its  spirit  that  of  deliberate  cheerfulness.  The 
phrase  exactly  describes  the  best  possible  atmosphere  of  a  home; 
parents  must  not  be  guided  by  their  feelings,  the  moods  in- 
duced by  cares  and  anxieties,  but  must  deliberately,  conscien- 
tiously be  cheerful,  if  they  are  to  have  their  children  grow  up 
with  the  light- hear tedness  youth  should  know. 

This  does  not  mean  that  parents  should  keep  from  their 
children  all  knowledge  of  care,  nor  that  the  mother  should  spare 
them  their  rightful  share  of  the  burdens  of  the  family.  On  the 
contrary,  as  they  grow  older  they  should  be  taken  into  the  family 
councils  and  told  of  the  money  anxieties  which  may  be  pressing, 
that  they  may  grow  thoughtful  and  careful  of  their  own  ex- 
penses; and  by  all  means  they  should  bear  their  part  in  the  work 
of  the  home;  to  save  them  these  things  would  make  them 
selfish;  but  the  whole  tone  of  the  home  life,  in  spite  of  them, 
should  be  bright.  If  the  father  is  worried,  so  much  the  more 
reason  when  he  comes  home  at  night  to  make  him  happy;  if  the 
mother  is  tired,  then  by  all  means  let  everything  be  bright  to 
cheer  her.  Even  sorrow  itself  should  not  be  allowed  to  darken 
the  spirit  of  home  life,  but  bereavement  should  be  borne  so 
bravely  that  the  air  of  quiet  happiness  should  in  some  degree 
still  exist. 

Children  Should  Share  Household  Work. — The  division 
of  the  work  of  a  household  should  begin  while  the  children  are 
still  very  small.  Even  a  five-year-old  with  a  tiny  dust-cloth 
can  rub  the  rungs  of  the  chairs,  and  will  really  enjoy  feeling  he 
is  of  use;  and  from  that  age  on,  there  are  plenty  of  light  tasks 
which  any  child  can  do.  A  boy's  own  room  is  to  be  kept  in 
order;  kindling-wood,  perhaps,  brought  in  in  little  bundles 
suitable  to  his  strength,  or  waste-paper  baskets  emptied;  a  girl 
can  begin  to  rub  the  silver  with  a  bit  of  chamois  and  some  polish 
when  she  is  only  a  little  thing,  and  she  will  love  to  do  it,  especially 
if  mother  helps  too.  As  to  making  beds  and  straightening 
rooms,  she  can  be  a  perfect  little  maid  before  she  is  twelve, 
and  never  once  feel  herself  abused  because  a  trifle  of  housework 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  137 

is  expected  of  her  daily.  On  the  contrary,  she  will  grow  more 
and  more  to  enjoy  the  home  she  helps  keep  clean  and  orderly. 

It  is  one  of  the  greatest  mistakes  that  a  mother  can  make,  to 
excuse  her  children  from  helping  her  in  her  daily  tasks;  nothing 
makes  them  grow  up  so  hard,  so  bent  on  pleasure,  as  to  let  them 
have  all  the  easy  times  while  their  mother  takes  the  burdens  on 
her  own  shoulders  and  spares  them.  It  is  a  cruel  wrong  to  any 
child  to  let  it  know  nothing  of  personal  service  in  the,  home. 
But  to  have  the  tasks  done  willingly,  and  so  as  to  be  enjoyed,  the 
mother  must  treat  them  as  though  they  were  light  and  easy  by 
being  cheerful  herself  in  doing  them,  and  so  make  them  seem 
half  play. 

Pleasures  at  Home. — The  ideal  home  is  one  where  a  child's 
friends  are  welcome.  When  the  small  children  come  in  to  play 
in  the  nursery,  it  means  a  great  deal  if  the  mother  gives  the 
visitors  a  cordial  greeting,  and  if  in  addition  she  has  always  some 
clever  ideas  as  to  ways  of  amusing  them.  A  tea-party  is  a  joy  for 
girls;  an  improvised  circus  for  boys;  a  candy-pull  for  both  to- 
gether; all  these  things  make  children  feel  that  their  home  is  the 
nicest  place  on  earth,  and  look  with  pity  on  other  children  who 
are  restricted  when  their  visitors  come.  It  is  worth  while  to 
have  the  house  upset  for  an  afternoon  to  receive  the  reward  of 
a  grateful  hug  at  the  end  and  the  exclamation,  "  Oh,  we  do  have 
such  a  good  time  here!"  It  was  Holmes  who  once  said  that  his 
mother  had  a  fixed  rule  that  before  going  anywhere  else  after 
school  he  must  come  home,  and  it  was  only  when  he  grew  up 
that  he  understood  that  it  was  because  she  wanted  to  keep  him 
there  that  she  made  it;  she  always  had  gingerbread  ready  for 
him  and  his  friends,  and  when  they  had  eaten  it  they  decided 
to  stay  where  they  were  rather  than  look  farther  for  a  good 
time.  Such  a  clever  bribe  as  gingerbread  or  its  equivalent, 
makes  a  boy  love  to  bring  his  friends  to  his  house,  and  creates 
in  him  the  p^ide  of  home  which  later  will  hold  him  strongly. 

Perhaps  the  most  important  thing  next  to  unselfishness 
which  home  life  must  teach,  is  the  habit  of  courtesy,  and  here 
the  mother  and  father,  must  set  an  example,  perhaps  the  father 
more  than  the  mother.  If  he  habitually  addresses  his  wife 
with  politeness  and  gives  her  a  chair  when  she  comes  into  the 


138  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

room,  opens  the  door  for  her,  lifts  the  heavy  bundles,  helps  her 
in  a  thousand  ways,  the  boys  accept  such  things  as  a.  matter  of 
course,  and  before  they  guess  it,  they  have  learned  that  impor- 
tant lesson  of  carefulness  and  thoughtfulness  for  those  weaker 
than  themselves.  Saying  ''please"  to  a  child,  and  "thank 
you,"  and  "Won't  you  help  me  do  this? "and  all  the  litde  cour- 
tesies of  daily  intercourse,  must  be  as  natural  as  breathing  to 
both  parents  if  they  desire  to  have  their  children  gentle  and 
considerate. 

Courtesy  and  Forbearance. — But  in  addition  to  these  things, 
there  should  be  a  fixed  rule  in  a  family  that  no  squabbling  is 
to  be  tolerated.  The  child  who  begins  to  "talk  back"  to  the 
other  children  and  generally  becomes  quarrelsome,  should  be 
quietly  put  by  himself,  as  temporarily  unfit  to  associate  with 
his  fellows.  It  is  true  that  children,  like  all  young,  growing 
things,  naturally  struggle  and  push  and  squabble;  even  birds 
in  their  little  nests  do  not  always  agree,  the  poet  to  the  contrary 
notwithstanding.  But  if  the  atmosphere  of  the  home  is  dis- 
tinctly against  all  such  things,  and  if  they  are  quiedy  suppressed, 
generally  the  children  soon  learn  that  politeness  is  expected  as 
a  matter  of  course,  and  they  fall  in  with  the  idea. 

One  thing  a  mother  who  sets  for  herself  the  ideal  of  cheer- 
fulness in  home  life  will  learn  at  the  start  is  that  too  much 
correction  must  be  avoided.  Helen  Hunt  Jackson,  in  her  wise 
litde  book  "Bits  of  Talk  About  Home  Matters,"  said  that  a 
child  must  never  be  corrected  in  public;  even  at  the  table,  no 
matter  how  objectionable  he  might  become,  he  must  be  rea- 
soned with  not  at  the  time,  but  later.  That  standard  is  a  high 
one,  one  perhaps  not  always  to  be  followed  out  in  practical 
life,  but  still  it  is  something  to  try  to  live  up  to.  A  child  will 
often  forget  his  promises  made  when  talked  to  privately  and  do 
over  again  exactly  what  he  has  been  told  not  to,  but  in  the 
long  run  he  will  learn;  meanwhile,  the  home  is  freed  from  the 
tone  of  admonition,  which  is  infinitely  irksome. 

Family  Joys  in  Common. — The  busiest  family  can  always 
arrange  to  have  a  little  time  together  if  only  they  plan  for  it, 
and  this  is  one  of  the  delightful  things  to  remember  when 
the  home  circle  breaks  up.     A  half-hour  for  reading  aloud  is 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  139 

not  much,  but  it  is  a  joy  to  recall;  a  summer  tea  in  the  woods, 
a  row  on  the  river,  an  excursion  to  town,  anything  whatever, 
if  it  is  only  done  as  a  family,  serves  to  bind  the  members  together 
and  to  let  love  deepen.  The  esprit  de  corps  of  family  life  is 
too  rare,  too  precious  to  be  missed. 

A  certain  mother  of  eight  children,  living  in  a  small  house 
with  a  tiny  income,  determined  to  give  her  children  a  beautiful 
home.  The  cares  were  shared  with  gaiety;  their  friends  were 
welcomed  at  any  hour  with  overflowing  hospitality;  their 
evenings  were  spent  in  reading  together,  or  playing  games, 
or  singing;  nothing  was  hard,  because  all  were  happy  and 
light-hearted  with  their  gay  mother.  Sorrows  came  and  the 
family  circle  was  broken,  but  they  drew  their  chairs  closer  to- 
gether; one  and  another  went  out  into  the  world,  but  came  back 
so  often  that  there  was  perpetual  holiday;  the  shabby  little 
house  was  never  too  small  for  children  and  grandchildren  to  be 
together.  It  was  all  done  because  the  mother  determined  at 
the  start  to  be  resolutely  cheerful  and  to  make  every  one  else 
cheerful,  and  that  home  was  heaven  on  earth  to  all  who  knew 
it. 

^*  (,?*  ^* 

THE  CHILD'S  SCHOOL 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

THE  child  who  can  step  straight  from  the  nursery  into 
that  paradise,  the  kindergarten,  tinds  itself  ideally  cared 
for  and  blissfully  happy,  in  its  quiet,  sunny  rooms,  with  flowers 
and  birds  and  stories  and  plays.  Courtesy,  unselfishness,  and 
love  are  well  taught,  a  love  of  music  is  cultivated,  a  sense  of 
order  and  exactness  are  inculcated  and  the  powers  of  observation 
trained;  could  one  ask  for  a  better  start  on  the  way  to  a  perfect 
education  ? 

The  Home  and  the  Kindergarten. — Yet  sometimes  it  is 
difficult  for  the  mother  to  keep  up  at  home  the  standard  set 
at  the  kindergarten;  there  the  teacher  has  the  child  rested  by 
a  night's  sleep,  stimulated  by  childish  companionship,  awed 


140  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

into  good  behavior  by  the  presence  of  other  children,  and 
entertained  by  constant  devices.  The  mother  receives  it  back 
into  her  home  when  reaction  has  set  in,  sometimes  with  severity. 
It  is  tired  and  relaxed,  too  often  cross,  and  bored  because  it  is 
no  longer  amused  with  deliberate  purpose;  and  so  the  home 
\  suffers  in  comparison  with  the  little  school.  It  is  because  such 
things  as  these  often  prejudice  parents  against  the  kindergar- 
ten that  a  mother  should  be  the  connecting  link  between  the  two. 
She  should  go  there  often,  see  that  the  room  is  not  overheated, 
that  the  little  eyes  are  not  strained  by  sewing  or  pricking,  and 
that  the  child  is  not  overtired  by  too  many  exercises;  at  the  same 
time  she  can  learn  how  to  amuse  her  child  at  home,  and  how  to 
govern  him  in  the  moods  of  wilfulness  which  the  teacher  must 
encounter.  It  is  as  this  connecting  link  that  a  parent  must 
always  stand  between  the  child  and  any  school.  Many  children 
never  go  to  a  kindergarten  at  all,  but  begin  at  once  at  the  primary. 
It  is  not  enough  to  pass  him  on  from  one  grade  to  another  and 
trust  that  all  will  be  well.  The  father  or  the  mother  or  both— 
and  preferably  both — must  be  in  close  touch  with  him  in  every 
step  of  the  way. 

Public  vs.  Private  School. — At  the  outset  comes  the  decision 
whether  he  is  to  go  to  a  public  or  private  school,  and  in  different 
places  schools  differ  so  that  each  must  be  studied  before  a  wise 
decision  can  be  reached.  For  boys,  the  discipline  of  a  public 
school  is  usually  excellent.  The  spirit  of  democracy  exists; 
the  necessity  for  prompt  obedience;  the  inability  to  be  excused 
readily  for  tardiness  or  unprepared  lessons;  the  general  rigidity 
of  the  rules,  all  tend  to  make  him  prompt  and  exact,  and  teach 
him  to  get  on  with  others.  The  text-books,  too,  are  good,  and 
the  teaching  exact  and  thorough. 

But  sometimes  a  school  is  unsanitary,  especially  in  a  small 
town;  it  may  be  unventilated,  or  the  basement  and  dressing- 
rooms  unclean;  or  the  children,  for  one  reason  or  another,  kept 
back  behind  those  in  other  schools.  Such  conditions  should  be 
studied  by  a  parent,  and  he  should  be  absolutely  sure  that  the 
school  is  the  best  one  for  his  boy. 

For  a  girl,  sometimes  a  public  school  is  the  worst  possible 
place.      There  may  be  a  school-room  so  overcrowded  that 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  141 

three  children  must  sit  in  seats  intended  for  two;  there  may  be 
h'ght  which  is  insufficient  for  eyes  not  strong;  some  sensitive 
child  may  find  a  particular  teacher  so  unsympathetic  that  she 
cannot  do  herself  justice  in  recitation.  Or,  she  may  have  to 
associate  with  girls  of  rough  families  who  do  her  no  good.  On 
the  other  hand,  she  may  find  a  public  school  where  her  own 
friends  go,  and  where  the  conditions  are  all  sanitary  and  whole- 
some, physically  and  morally.  It  is  impossible  to  generalize; 
but  no  school  should  be  blindly  accepted  without  any  parental 
investigation. 

But  the  private  school  may  not  solve  the  problem  of  difficulty. 
Too  often  such  schools  teach  but  superficially,  and  the  simple, 
plain  rudiments  of  an  education  are  overlooked.  Generally 
there  are  plenty  of  teachers  for  the  number  of  pupils,  and 
greater  individual  attention  is  given  than  in  the  public  school; 
but  on  the  other  hand,  tardiness,  carelessness  in  preparation, 
and  other  shortcomings  are  too  easily  excused,  and  marks  and 
reports  are  apt  to  be  far  too  flattering.  These  things  offset  in 
some  degree  the  better  ventilation  and  quietness  secured  by 
having  the  smaller  numbers  of  pupils. 

There  must  be  a  constant  watching  by  the  parent  of  all 
details  of  either  school.  If  a  mother  frequently  and  strenuously 
complains  to  a  principal  of  a  large  public  school  of  the  sanitation, 
it  is  certain  that  in  time  she  will  carry  her  point  and  the  evil 
be  redressed.  Or,  if  in  the  small  private  school  she  insists  that 
tardiness  must  not  be  overlooked,  or  lessons  glided  over  super- 
ficially, these  defects,  too,  will  be  remedied. 

There  exist  in  some  cities  clubs  made  up  of  parents  and  / 
teachers  which  insure  the  very  best  things  for  a  school.  There 
are  meetings  for  free  discussion,  papers  on  the  relations  between 
the  home  and  school  and  kindred  subjects,  entertainments, 
the  proceeds  of  which  are  used  to  beautify  the  buildings  with 
pictures  and  casts;  they  are  the  best  means  to  the  end  of  the 
perfect  school,  and  in  any  town,  large  or  small,  such  clubs  may 
be  founded. 

Home  Study. — Home  work  is  one  of  the  evils  a  parent  has  to 
meet  all  through  a  child's  life.  It  is  a  pity  that  a  small  child 
should  ever  have  to  know  its  meaning,  for  after  six  hours  in 


142  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

school,  or  even  less,  the  rest  of  the  day  should  be  spent  out  of 
doors,  or  at  home,  playing.  Where  it  must  be  faced,  then  at 
least  the  mother  should  see  that  the  work  is  reduced  to  a  mini- 
mum, and  done  under  the  most  favorable  conditions. 

No  child  should  study  after  it  has  had  its  evening  meal  and 
is  sleepy,  and  no  child  should  come  directly  home  to  go  to  work 
after  school  hours.  The  best  plan  is  to  let  him  have  a  good 
play  in  the  fresh  air  and  then  study  just  before  supper  in  some 
quiet  place  where  he  will  be  undisturbed;  by  concentrating  his 
attention  he  can  accomplish  twice  as  much  in  a  short  time  as 
when  half  a  dozen  others  are  in  the  room.  Next  to  sending  the 
boy  or  girl  to  a  good  school,  the  greatest  thing  a  parent  can  do  for 
them  is  to  see  that  they  learn  to  study  their  lessons  at  home  in  the 
best  possible  way.  Too  many  children  spend  twice,  three  times, 
as  much  time  as  necessary  over  home  work,  because  they  do  it 
when  sleepy,  and  in  a  dawdling,  desultory  way,  knowing  that 
they  will  be  permitted  to  sit  up  till  the  lessons  are  pronounced 
finished.  If  only  so  much  time  was  allowed  for  them,  and  that 
set  apart  at  a  time  when  their  minds  were  fresh,  and  if  when  bed- 
time came  they  had  to  leave  their  books  at  once,  they  would 
soon  learn  to  do  their  work  promptly  and  so  more  faithfully. 

Help  in  School-Work. — The  best  help  a  parent  can  give  a 
child  in  its  work  is  to  know  his  teachers,  to  invite  them  to  the 
house,  and  talk  the  children  over  with  them.  This  does  away 
with  what  is  a  morbid  idea  on  the  part  of  so  many,  parents 
and  children  alike — that  some  teacher  is  unfair,  or  has  a  prej- 
udice, and  that  the  child  suffers  for  it.  Free  interchange  of  ideas 
between  parents  and  teachers  gives  a  fine,  strong  working  basis, 
and  advance  is  far  more  certain  than  when  both  are  in  the  dark 
as  to  the  way  the  child  is  being  dealt  with  on  one  side  or  the  other. 
Next  to  this,  the  best  help  is  to  show  a  deep  interest  at  home  in 
what  is  done  in  school,  both  in  lessons  and  sport.  If  a  mother 
really  likes  to  hear  how  Columbus  discovered  America,  she  is 
planting  a  love  of  history  in  her  child's  mind;  and  if  a  father  goes 
to  the  football  match,  he  gets  his  boy's  confidence  about  other 
things  than  are  learned  in  books.  Nothing  takes  the  place  of  this 
personal  parental  touch. 

At  the  same  time  parents  should  be  careful  not  to  stimulate 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  143 

personal  vanity  by  foolish  praise  of  school-work;  nothing  is 
pleasanter  for  a  child  than  to  consider  itself  a  prodigy,  and 
nothing  easier.  Fidelity  to  work,  rather  than  achievement, 
is  what  should  be  praised,  and  a  prize  for  good  behavior  should 
be  quite  as  well  thought  of  as  one  for  algebra.  A  word  of 
appreciation  for  good  work  is  better  than  constant  reiteration 
that  a  child  has  a  wonderful  mind.  To  get  along  with  the  other 
children,  to  study  faithfully  and  stand  well,  to  be  able  to  play  as 
well  as  work — these  are  the  beginnings  of  education. 

^*  <5*  t^w 

THE  CHILD'S  READING 

BY  CAROLINE   BENEDICT  BURRELL 

THE  modern  mother  is  nothing  if  not  systematic.  Her 
child's  hours,  its  food,  and  its  studies  are  all  carefully 
planned  to  the  smallest  detail,  yet  when  it  comes  to  its  reading 
she  is  told  by  some  authorities  that  she  should  let  the  child  itself 
take  the  lead.  Not  "what  must  children  read,"  but  "what  ^ 
will  they  read,"  is  the  question.  A  child  should  develop  along 
its  own  lines  as  far  as  possible.  To  destroy  its  individuality, 
if  that  could  be  done,  would  be  the  greatest  possible  wrong.  We 
can  only  look  on,  see  the  bent  of  the  childish  mind  and,  not 
by  antagonizing  it,  but  by  training  it,  secure  the  best  results. 
This  is  true  of  its  reading  more  than  of  anything  else.  What 
is  mental  pabulum  for  one  is  husks  for  another. 

Juvenile  Books  Plentiful. — The  child  is  initiated  into  litera- 
ture by  way  of  "Mother  Goose,"  "Red  Riding-Hood,"  "The 
Three  Bears,"  and  "Cinderella,"  and  naturally  its  imagi- 
nation develops  first.  It  demands  stories — fairy  stories  prefer-  /• 
ably.  Luckily  for  it,  we  have  more  to-day  than  ever  before,  and 
better  ones.  Andersen's  and  Grimm's  are  the  simplest,  then 
come  Lang's  "Red,"  "Blue,"  and  "Green"  books  of  the 
wonder-stories  of  all  countries.  These  lead  up  to  "Ahce  in 
Wonderland,"  "The  Water  Babies,"  and  the  stories  by  "Uncle 
Remus. " 


144  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

About  this  time  the  child's  desire  to  investigate  will  make 
it  desirous  to  know  more  about  nature.  Never  were  children 
so  happy  in  their  opportunities  for  this  study  as  to-day.  Our 
book-shelves  are  crowded  with  volumes  each  more  delightful 
than  the  last.  There  is  the  series  of  stories  for  the  smallest 
children,  called  "Feathers,  Furs,  and  Fins";  there  are  those 
fascinating  volumes,  "Wild  Animals  I  have  Known,"  "The  Red 
Animal  Book,"  "The  Jungle  Tales,"  and  those  charming  com- 
panion volumes,  "Among  the  Forest  People"  and  "Among  the 
Meadow  People";  there  are  "The  Bee  People"  and  its  sequel, 
and  there  are  numberless  books  on  birds.  All  of  these  are 
valuable,  and  the  more  of  them  children  read  the  better. 

After  this  the  child  will  want  books  about  other  children — 
story-books;  and  good  ones  of  this  sort  are  not  too  easy  to 
find.  They  are  in  the  book-stores,  but  side  by  side  with  others 
that  are  sentimental,  or  too  pathetic,  or  simply  trashy.  The 
only  way  to  choose  is  to  read  for  yourself  before  buying.  Do  not 
fill  your  child's  mind  with  rubbish.  Know  your  author;  see  that 
the  style  is  good,  the  matter  simple  and  wholesome.  It  is  a 
safe  rule  to  reject  nine  books  before  taking  the  tenth. 

Instructive  Interest  of  the  Classic  Tales. — It  will  be  found 
that  the  famous  stories  are  the  best  after  all.  "King  Arthur" 
will  hold  the  attention  for  a  long  period.  The  love  for  stories 
of  adventure  will  become  more  pronounced  after  this  is  read, 
and  then  may  come  "Robinson  Crusoe"  and  Church's  "Stories 
from  Homer  and  Virgil."  In  connection  with  these  last  two 
there  may  be  some  reading  of  mythology,  beginning  with  ^sop's 
"Fables"  and  Hawthorne's  "Wonder-Book."  The  simplified 
forms  of  the  "Nibelungenlied"  may  follow  these,  and  the 
stories  from  Norse  folk-lore.  There  will  certainly  be  a  call 
for  stories  about  fighting,  at  this  point,  and  the  mother  in  grati- 
fying it  may  quietly  introduce  a  little  history.  The  tales  of 
the  Crusades  and  the  life  of  Robin  Hood  and  his  "merrie  men" 
will  give  a  glimpse  of  England  under  Richard  Coeur  de  Lion 
and  John,  and  explain  Magna  Charta.  After  this  the  story  of 
Raleigh  and  his  adventures  in  South  America  will  give  interest 
to  the  beginnings  of  our  own  history.  Nothing  could  be  more 
fascinating  than  the  exploits  of  Drake,  of  La  Salle,  and  of 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  145 

Marquette,  and  the  experiences  of  the  early  colonists.  The 
French  and  Indian  War  is  full  of  romantic  incident,  and  so  is 
the  Revolution,  from  the  Boston  Tea-party  to  the  treason  of 
Arnold  and  the  surrender  of  Cornwallis.  There  are  any  number 
of  delightful  books  for  children  on  all  these  subjects. 

The  desire  to  know  more  of  individual  heroes  will  open  the 
subject  of  biography,  and  the  lives  of  Washington  and  Putnam, 
and  after  these  the  lives  of  Napoleon  and  Wellington,  and 
those  of  the  heroes  of  the  War  of  1812,  may  be  read.  The 
Henty  books  will  be  enjoyed  along  this  line. 

Of  course  children  will  be  interested  in  Indians.  They  will 
learn  of  Massasoit,  Pocahontas,  and  Black  Hawk  in  the  course 
of  their  reading  of  history,  and  a  little  later  they  will  delight 
in  Cooper's  novels.  We  know  now  that  his  might  be  called 
"wooden  Indians"  and  are  far  from  being  true  to  life;  never- 
theless they  will  serve.  The  real  Indian  will  be  found  in  Park- 
man's  "  Oregon  Trail. " 

Romance  and  Poetry. — Probably  before  this  your  child  will 
have  been  introduced  to  Shakespeare,  either  direcdy  or  by 
way  of  the  "Tales"  by  Charles  and  Mary  Lamb.  How  early 
children  should  read  Shakespeare  is  often  discussed,  but  it  is 
to  be  settled  by  the  children  themselves;  they  should  read  him 
just  as  early  as  they  will.  In  that  exquisite  book  "Captain 
January,"  the  minister  gives  the  old  captain  a  Bible,  a  dic- 
tionary, and  Shakespeare,  as  comprising  a  complete  curriculum 
for  little  Starlight.  If  there  is  evil  in  Shakespeare,  there  is 
none  which  will  contaminate  a  child's  mind,  and  there  is  a 
wealth  of  good  to  bless  it.  It  is  scarcely  necessary  to  say  that 
the  Bible  should  be  read,  whether  perfectly  understood  or  not. 
Its  stately  measures,  its  stirring  stories,  its  wealth  of  imagery 
and  beauty  will  be  a  means  of  education  quite  apart  from 
its  sacred  value.  With  the  Bible  should  be  given  "Pilgrim's 
Progress,"  which  will  be  a  real  delight  to  the  imaginative  child, 
especially  in  some  of  the  newer  editions  with  their  artistic 
illustrations.  It  is  said  that  Lincoln's  wonderful  use  of  English 
came  from  reading  over  and  over  his  little  library  of  five  volumes, 
two  of  which  were  the  Bible  and  "Pilgrim's  Progress." 

The  love  of  poetry  varies  greatly  in  children.     Many  wish 


146  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

to  hear  it  read  simply  for  its  rhythmic  sound,  while  others  will 
not  listen  to  it  at  all.  One  mother  recently  said  that  she  read 
to  her  five-year-old  boy  the  whole  of  "  Paradise  Lost"  and  Pope's 
translations  of  the  "Iliad"  and  the  "Odyssey."  Naturally 
enough,  perhaps,  she  considered  that  she  had  a  genius  to  train, 
whereas  really  the  child's  ear  alone,  and  not  his  mind,  was  at- 
tracted. But  without  inquiring  too  closely  into  the  reason  why 
children  listen  to  poetry,  we  should  seize  the  earliest  oppor- 
tunity to  teach  them  some  of  the  best.  Macaulay's  "Lays  of 
Ancient  Rome"  will  appeal  to  all,  as  will  the  martial  bits  from 
"Marmion"  and  "The  Lady  of  the  Lake."  There  are  the 
famous  old  English  ballads  and  the  stirring  songs  of  the  Cava- 
liers; "Hiawatha"  and  parts  of  "Evangeline"  are  delightful; 
so  are  "  Sir  Launfal"  and  the  "  Idylls  of  the  King." 

Guard  a  child  sedulously  against  everything  sensational  and 
vulgar;  give  it  books  which  are  the  best  of  their  kind,  books  of 
real  worth,  and  its  taste  is  already  trained. 

There  is  a  word  to  be  said  in  favor  of  teaching  children  to 
read  aloud.  It  not  only  impresses  upon  them  what  they  are 
reading,  but  it  cultivates  a  habit  which  is  capable  of  giving 
much  pleasure  to  others.  It  also  enables  the  parent  who  listens 
to  correct  a  mispronunciation  or  give  some  explanation,  and 
make  it  certain  that  the  child's  reading  is  intelligent.  A  word 
of  warning  may  be  given  against  letting  children  read  too  rapidly. 
When  books  are  drawn  from  a  public  library  they  are  apt  to 
be  devoured — "skipped"  through  half  comprehended.  If  it 
is  understood  that  only  one  book,  or  at  the  most  two,  may  be 
drawn  during  a  week,  they  will  be  read  carefully  and  perhaps 
twice    over. 

Instead  of  buying  a  whole  library  of  books  for  children  or 
depending  on  the  local  public  library  to  supply  them,  it  is  a 
good  idea  to  buy  one  of  the  best  collections  of  literature  for 
children,  such  as  our  Library,  which  in  its  twelve  volumes  has  the 
choicest  stories  and  poems,  exactly  what  they  need.  There  they 
will  find  selections  from  "Robinson  Crusoe,"  "Uncle  Remus," 
"Alice  in  Wonderland,"  fairy  tales  from  the  best  sources,  stories  of 
natural  history,  of  animals,  birds,  and  bees,  and  much  delightful 
poetry.     With  a  quantity  of  such  things  as  these  always  at  hand, 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  147 

a  child  acquires  a  love  of  good  literature  and  a  taste  for  it  before 
he  knows  it. 

The  Love  of  Books. — While  the  public  library  is  an  inesti- 
mable blessing,  it  should  never  be  used  to  furnish  the  whole  of  a 
child's  reading.  Children  should  own  their  books  as  far  as 
possible,  and  learn  to  treat  them  with  respect.  A  bookcase 
should  belong  to  them  alone,  which  they  will  take  pride  in  filling. 
As  they  grow  older  the  volumes  they  prize  at  first  may  be  hidden 
away  and  their  places  filled  with  others,  but  every  book  should 
be  valued.  Let  their  birthday  and  Christmas  presents  consist 
largely  of  books  which  have  more  than  temporary  worth. 

If  a  child  loves  its  books  it  will  not  wish  to  lend  them,  and 
at  the  risk  of  seeming  selfish,  one  must  deprecate  the  passing 
about  of  its  treasures  unless  it  is  so  situated  that  this  seems  really 
necessary.  When  children  have  access  to  a  lending  library  it 
does  not  seem  wise  that  they  should  be  permitted  to  borrow  indis- 
criminately from  one  another.  Books  are  soon  injured  by  going 
from  hand  to  hand,  and  it  is  a  real  grief  to  have  them  hurt.  All 
of  us  whose  books  are  our  personal  friends,  tenderly  loved  and 
cherished,  must  desire  to  see  our  children  grow  up  with  the  same 
feeling. 

^*  ^^  t^^ 

PARENTAL  DISCIPLINE 


BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

THERE  is  a  saying  in  a  good  old  Book,  which  was  once  on 
the  lips  of  all  parents,  but  has  to-day  apparently  been 
forgotten:  "Spare  the  rod  and  spoil  the  child."  The  very  use 
of  the  rod,  or  its  equivalent,  seems  to  have  disappeared  in  the 
past  with  other  once  familiar  household  gods. 

General  Considerations. — It  is  undoubtedly  true  that  there 
was  far  too  much  of  the  rod  in  homes  until  of  late  years.  We 
would  not,  if  we  could,  bring  back  that  instrument  of  torture 
which,  like  the  thumb  screw,  has  had  its  day.  But  is  there  not  a 
great  danger,  lest  in  doing  away  with  the  thing  itself  we  also 


148  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

do  away  with  what  it  stands  for,  and  let  all  punishments  go 
with  it? 

There  could  be  no  greater  mistake  than  to  bring  up  a  family 
of  children  with  the  idea  that  whatever  wrong  they  did,  no 
penalty  would  follow.  They  would  soon  learn  to  be  perfect 
savages,  impossible  to  live  with,  and  worse  still,  they  would  be- 
come citizens  who  would  break  every  law  which  trammeled  them. 
Punishments  are  absolutely  essential  in  every  home;  the  questions 
are  what  should  they  be,  and  when  administered  and  by  whom. 

There  is  a  wise  book  which  has  recently  been  revived,  called 
"Gentle  Measures  in  the  Training  of  the  Young,"  written  by 
Jacob  Abbott.  No  parent  can  read  it  without  learning  from  its 
old-fashioned  suggestions  many  ideas  for  his  help  to-day.  Its 
ways  of  dealing  with  children  may  not  be  ours,  but  they  help 
us  to  form  some  for  ourselves  which  are  possibly  as  good  for  our 
children.  That  book,  and  Helen  Hunt  Jackson's  "Bits  of 
Talk  About  Home  Matters,"  are  excellent  guides  to  the  be- 
ginners on  the  road  of  discipline. 

Perhaps  one  of  the  first  lessons  a  parent  must  learn  is  that 
the  punishment  must  invariably  follow  when  it  has  been  prom- 
ised. To  tell  a  child,  "If  you  do  that  again  I  must  do  some- 
thing serious  to  make  you  remember,"  and  then  when  the 
time  comes  merely  repeat  the  threat,  is  worse  than  folly.  But 
of  course  one  must  be  very  careful  in  making  the  first  statement. 
If  one  speaks  in  anger,  or  in  haste,  then  there  is  the  danger  of 
injustice,  or  oversevere  punishment.  First  think  whether 
you  are  doing  the  wisest,  best  thing,  and  then  when  the  mind 
is  made  up  as  to  the  proper  punishment,  let  it  come  with  cool, 
even-handed  justice,  and  one  or  two  inflictions  will  cause  the 
lesson  to  be  remembered. 

Of  course  no  parent  worth  the  name  would  ever  punish  a 
child  while  still  angry;  that  means  doing  him  a  wrong.  It  is 
always  safe  to  wait  till  both  are  over  the  first  outbreak,  and  then 
punish.  It  is  difTicult  to  do  this,  for  strong  indignation  prompts 
to  quick  action;  nevertheless  it  is  the  only  safe  rule  to  follow. 
How  many  regrets  one  has  who  hastily,  perhaps  unjustly, 
punishes  a  child,  only  a  parent  knows. 

Methods  of  Punishing.— As  to  the  kind  of  punishments, 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  149 

they  should  be  varied;  perhaps  the  best  of  all  because  the  most 
easily  understood,  is  that  of  deprivation.  Suppose  a  child  is 
greedy  at  the  table  and  eats  with  perfect  indifference  to  all  the 
manners  which  have  been  taught  him;  after  some  such  exhibition 
a  mother  may  talk  to  him  about  his  faults  and  explain  that  he 
has  no  right  to  spoil  the  comfort  of  others,  and  say  that  if  he 
repeats  his  objectionable  ways  he  must  lose  his  dessert  the  next 
time.  Perhaps  the  very  day  following  he  forgets,  and  repeats 
his  offenses;  his  mother  may  whisper  in  his  ear  a  reminder 
which  goes  unheeded;  but  when  the  dessert  comes  on  the  table 
and  he  may  have  none,  the  punishment  is  so  felt  that  it  need  not 
be  repeated  for  several  days,  and  a  few  experiences  will  accom- 
plish a  complete  cure.  If  only  one  is  firm  and  relentless,  this 
is  an  unfailing  way  to  secure  one's  end. 

So  with  quarreling;  children  who  will  spoil  the  peace  of  the 
home  by  squabbles  and  fights  may  have  a  penalty  of  exactly 
the  same  kind,  and  have  to  spend  an  hour  or  more  in  bed  on 
Saturday,  a  deprivation  which  they  will  keenly  feel.  Any  loss 
of  pleasures  is  a  real  punishment.  Many  a  boy  would  far  rather 
take  a  whipping  and  then  go  fishing  with  the  other  boys,  than 
to  have  to  stay  in  bed  and  see  them  go  without  him;  and  so  the 
very  essence  of  punishment  is  secured. 

Corporal  punishment,  indeed,  is  by  no  means  the  most 
effective,  to  say  the  least  of  it.  It  has  very  real  dangers  connected 
with  it,  and  few  parents,  perhaps  only  one  in  a  hundred,  are  to 
be  trusted  to  administer  it  wisely;  it  is  far  better  to  avoid  it  al- 
together, for  the  delicate  frame  of  a  child  is  easily  injured  by  the 
heavy  hand  of  an  adult.  Edison  tells  how  a  box  on  the  ear, 
administered  by  an  angry  man,  made  him  deaf  for  life.  It  is 
only  for  the  small  child,  the  one  too  young  to  understand  any- 
thing else,  that  a  tiny  administration  of  little  pats  is  best  under- 
stood and  remembered.  George  Eliot  advocated  a  little  "tin- 
gling, in  soft,  safe  places. "  But  once  out  of  babyhood  it  is  best 
to  substitute  something  else  for  such  measures,  and  there  are 
plenty  of  other  punishments. 

It  is  really  the  idea  of  the  punishment  more  than  the  thing 
itself  which  is  effective.  One  mother  devised  a  system  by  pre- 
paring little  squares  of  blue  and  white  paper;  when  a  child  had 


v/ 


150  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

been  naughty  it  had  to  put  one  or  more  blue  squares  in  a  box; 
and  when  it  had  been  good  all  day  it  put  in  white  ones  at  night, 
at  the  end  of  the  week  if  the  white  squares  predominated,  there 
was  a  reward,  and  if  the  blue,  none  at  all.  Nothing  could  have 
been  more  simple,  but  it  worked  to  a  charm. 

As  children  grow  out  of  childhood,  the  idea  of  deprivation 
as  punishment  still  holds.  A  girl  who  spends  all  her  week's 
allowance  and  has  to  go  without  something  she  wishes  for,  or 
even  something  she  really  needs,  is  being  punished  in  this  way. 
A  boy  who  must  give  up  an  anticipated  trip  to  town  because  he 
has  done  wrong,  remembers  it  for  weeks  and  does  not  repeat 
the  offense.  But  of  course  it  is  unjust  on  ordinary  occasions 
suddenly  to  punish  a  child  without  warning.  It  is  better  at 
a  first  offense  to  do  nothing  radical,  but  rather  explain  the  wrong, 
and  say  that  it  must  not  be  repeated,  or  such  and  such  things 
must  follow. 

Dangers  of  Confinement. — Mothers  often  have  a  way  of 
talking  over  with  children  their  wrong-doing,  just  as  they  are 
put  to  bed  at  night.  Then  when  all  is  quiet  they  have  a  talk 
which  grows  more  and  more  serious  because  the  child  is  tired, 
and  frequently  ends  in  a  cry.  This  we  know  to-day  is  all  wrong. 
At  bedtime  it  is  essential  that  a  child  should  go  to  sleep  happily, 
or  the  rest  is  unrefreshing.  It  is  better  to  talk  things  over  earlier 
and  settle  matters,  and  end  the  day  in' peace. 

The  old-fashioned  punishments  of  putting  a  child  in  the 
closet  or  sending  him  supperless  to  bed  have  been  rather  for- 
gotten, and  wisely.  A  child  is  too  often  made  afraid  of  the  dark 
by  the  first  punishment,  and  physically  injured  by  the  second. 
It  is  just  as  effective  to  put  a  child  alone  in  a  lighted  room,  and 
let  him  sit  in  one  chair  for  a  time  as  to  put  him  in  a  dark  closet, 
and  a  supper  of  bread  and  milk  eaten  all  alone  in  the  nursery 
is  better  than  no  supper  at  all. 

There  are  so  many  simple  punishments  which  correct  the 
wrong,  that  it  seems  unnecessary  ever  to  administer  others 
which  are  more  severe.  The  very  small  child  can  have  his 
hand  tied  up  when  he  slaps;  the  older  child  can  be  kept  apart 
from  the  rest  when  he,  too,  strikes;  the  boy  can  be  kept  home 
from  a  ball-game  if  he  fights  when  he  should  not;  these  things 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  151 

really  are  felt,  and  felt  deeply,  and  will  prove  in  the  long  run  to 
overcome  the  bad  habits. 

Dealing  with  a  Violent  Temper. — One  of  the  most  difficult 
things  to  deal  with  is  violence,  self-will,  screaming,  or  general 
loss  of  temper;  this  is  best  punished  by  a  whole  day  in  bed,  on 
the  ground  that  no  well  child  could  possibly  behave  in  this 
way.  The  enforced  quiet  rests  the  nerves  of  the  child,  who  is 
really  worn  out  by  its  temper,  and  at  the  same  time  it  is  a  depri- 
vation so  severe  that  it  is  deeply  felt. 

Of  course  the  real  end  of  punishment  in  the  home,  as  in 
prison  according  to  our  modern  ideas,  is  to  help  one  to  overcome 
his  faults  and  prevent  repetition.  This  is  what  every  parent 
should  keep  in  view,  and  what  every  child  should  understand. 
The  resentment  one  feels  when  he  is  punished  will  gradually 
disappear  when  one  knows  that  it  is  only  because  it  is  necessary 
to  help  him  to  get  rid  of  these  wrongs  of  character  that  the 
pafrent  must  enforce  the  penalty.  It  takes  time,  and  infinite 
patience,  and  wonderful  poise  and  calmness  to  carry  out  sys- 
tematically a  course  of  punishments  such  that  children  will 
appreciate  them  and  respond  to  their  aims,  but  it  can  be  done. 
And,  most  important  of  all,  discipline  will  rapidly  grow  less  in 
the  family  circle  as  the  growing  children  learn  why  they  are 
punished,  and  that  it  is  love  and  wisdom,  never  temper  or  caprice, 
which  prompt  the  parents  to  inflict  the  penalties.  If  only 
parents  are  slow  in  their  decisions,  never  overhasty,  and  if 
they  try  always  to  be  perfectly  just,  the  reasons  for  punish- 
ment will  be  acknowledged,  and,  hard  as  the  restrictions  or  de- 
privations may  seem  at  the  time,  they  will  be  appreciated  later, 
and  the  lessons  will  be  finally  learned. 

%^t        *2^        ^* 

OBEDIENCE  IN  THE  CHILD 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

THE  objectionable  phrase,    "This   is  the  age  of  obedient 
parents,"   has  passed  into  a  byword,  one  we  do  not 
like  to  hear  to-day,  perhaps  because  we  recognize  that  there  is 


152  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

too  much  truth  in  it.  Certainly  no  nation  ever  before  so  gave 
its  children  everything  they  wished  for,  and  gave  up  in  such  a 
degree  its  own  wishes  to  those  of  the  younger  generation,  as  we 
Americans  are  doing.  The  child;  not  the  parent,  has  in  most 
of  our  homes,  the  center  of  the  stage. 

Obedience  Essential. — It  is  an  undoubted  fact  that  in  reacting 
from  the  state  of  blind,  unquestioning  obedience  demanded  by 
our  ancestors  of  their  children,  we  have  gone  too  far  in  the 
other  direction.  Tyranny  and  oppression  once  existed  in 
many  families,  and  it  is  just  as  well  that  they  should  disappear; 
but  certainly  obedience  to  parents  ought  not  to  go  with  them. 
If  there  is  anything  worse  in  the  world  than  an  unreasonable 
and  domineering  parent,  it  is  a  disobedient  and  rebellious 
child.  A  home  where  the  children  rule  must  be  a  joyless  pande- 
monium. But  how  are  we  to  obtain  obedience  without  paying 
too  dearly  for  it? 

Obedience  should  be  considered  as  only  a  temporary  thing, 
for  the  attitude  of  infallibility  that  parents  assume  must  sooner 
or  later  be  abandoned;  it  is  merely  the  training  of  the  children, 
not  blind  obedience  in  itself,  that  is  the  aim.  The  old  idea  that 
the  child  who  "minds"  promptly  when  spoken  to  is  at  heart 
the  good  child,  and  the  one  who  hesitates  is  necessarily  the 
bad  one,  is  away  behind  the  times.  The  so-called  good  child 
may  merely  be  under-vitalized,  anemic,  and  so  indifferent  to 
most  things.  He  obeys  because  it  is  less  trouble  to  do  as  he  is 
told  than  to  think  for  himself;  and  the  child  who  disputes  every 
command,  and  shows  self-will  and  is  disobedient,  may  be  merely 
strong,  vigorous,  pushing  in  mental  as  well  as  physical  ways, 
because  he  is  growing  in  both.  Later  on  it  is  often  the  latter 
child  who  is  deliberately  obedient,  while  the  weaker  one  becomes 
morally  lax.  Mrs.  Oilman  has  a  clever  essay  in  which  she 
says  that  to  train  a  child  to  unthinking,  unquestioning  obedience 
is  to  make  him  absolutely  valueless  as  a  citizen.  He  will  never 
initiate,  but  will  follow  where  others  lead.  He  will  be  but 
a  half-developed  being,  devoid  of  individuality  and  indepen- 
dence. 

But  before  the  child  can  reason  for  itself,  it  is  necessary  to 
exact  a  prompt  obedience,  not  only  because  the  parent  knows 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  153 

best,  but  also  for  the  sake  of  the  training.  A  child  who  throws 
its  food  on  the  floor  when  told  to  eat  it  quietly,  or  who  stiffens 
out  in  amazing  rigor  and  screams  until  black  in  the  face  rather 
than  be  undressed,  must  learn  that  he  must  do  as  he  is  told,  and 
if  necessary,  he  must  learn  it  with  tears.  The  wise  parent,  how- 
ever, will  not  take  these  things  too  seriously.  Blessed  is  that 
mother  whose  sense  of  humor  does  not  desert  her  even  in  nursery 
crises!  She  will  exact  obedience  as  firmly  and  quietly  as  she 
can,  and  at  the  same  time  she  will  not  feel  that  her  child  will 
surely  grow  up  a  monster  of  self-will.  He  must  obey — that  goes 
without  saying;  but  little  by  little  he  will  learn  to  do  it  gracefully 
rather  than  rebelliously,  as  he  sees  he  must. 

Firmness  Requisite  in  tJie  Mother. — Of  course  a  perfect 
obedience  forbids  teasing  the  mother  to  change  her  mind.  If 
once,  only  once,  she  yields  a  forbidden  point,  and  the  child,  with 
its  abnormal  keenness,  sees  it,  she  is  lost.  From  that  time  on 
her  yea  is  no  longer  yea  and  her  nay  nay,  but  both  are  doubtful 
quantities,  to  be  disputed.  It  is  infinitely  better  not  to  give  a 
command  than  to  let  the  child  evade  it.  When  she  says  even  a 
small  thing  must  not  be,  she  must  stick  to  it.  If  it  happens  that 
the  question  turns  on  a  second  piece  of  cake,  and  she  says  "  No 
more  to-day,"  and  then  says  later  on,  "Well,  just  this  once,  but 
next  time  do  not  ask,"  she  is  weakly  giving  up  the  whole  situa- 
tion, and  barring  the  xA.ngel  of  Peace  forever  from  her  home. 

Justice  Necessary  to  Discipline. — But  it  must  be  remembered 
that  even  a  mother  may  make  a  mistake,  and  that  she  must 
acknowledge  it  at  the  time  and  alter  her  decision;  something 
quite  different  from  being  teased  into  changing  her  mind.  If 
she  says  that  the  child  may  not  go  to  a  certain  picnic  because  it 
is  a  rainy  day,  and  later  on  the  sun  comes  out  and  makes  going 
possible,  then  by  all  means  she  should  explain  to  him  that  cir- 
cumstances have  altered  and  he  may  go  after  all.  He  will  see 
the  difference  in  her  point  of  view  at  once.  Should  she  unreason- 
ably stick  to  her  point  and  ha\ing  said  he  could  not  go,  refuse  to 
alter  that  verdict  when  the  conditions  have  so  changed,  he  will 
lose  confidence  in  her  judgment  and  fairness;  and  this  is  about 
the  worst  thing  which  could  happen. 

Parents   also   sometimes   lay    unjust   commands   on    their 


154  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

children  in  ignorance,  and  sometimes,  too,  they  are  unreasonable; 
then  the  only  course  is  frankly  to  acknowledge  that  they  were 
wrong  and  say  in  so  many  words,  "  I  made  a  mistake  in  saying 
you  must  do  this  or  that.  I  see  now  that  it  was  not  the  thing 
after  all;  I  will  not  insist  on  your  doing  it."  This  is  to  show 
the  child  that  reason,  not  whim,  rules  in  the  family,  and  so  even 
in  this  way  he  learns  to  obey,  because  be  believes  in  his  parents' 
wisdom. 

But  after  a  child  grows  older,  should  he  be  expected  to  yield 
a  prompt  obedience  still  ? 

Whether  or  not  he  does  so,  depends  on  his  father  and  mother. 
If  they  have  proved  when  he  was  small  that  they  were  just  and 
wise  in  their  commands,  and  if  he  has  grown  up  in  the  atmos- 
phere of  obedience,  undoubtedly  he  will  continue  to  do  as  he 
is  told;  but  parents  should  remember  that  with  each  year  this 
unreasoning  obedience  becomes  more  difficult  for  him.  He  is 
learning  at  school  and  at  play  to  use  his  own  mind,  to  think  and 
decide  for  himself,  and  this  holds  in  the  family  circle  as  well  as 
outside  it.  To  meet  this  difficulty  it  is  always  best  to  g'^-'e  a 
child  a  good  and  truthful  reason  for  any  commands  laid  upon 
him,  not  before  he  obeys,  but  afterwards. 

Suppose  he  comes  home  from  school  and  is  told  not  to  go 
out  doors  again  to  play.  It  takes  but  a  moment  to  tell  why 
this  must  be — perhaps  company  is  coming  and  he  will  be  needed, 
or  his  throat  is  sore,  or  his  mother  must  leave  him  in  charge  of 
the  house  for  a  time;  children  yield  so  graciously  and  unselfishly 
to  such  reasons  that  it  pays  on  this  account  if  for  no  higher 
reason,  to  explain  them.  There  is  a  sort  of  impressive  logic  in 
a  child's  reasoning;  since  his  mother  or  father  have  been  right 
in  a  hundred  cases  in  asking  him  to  obey,  it  stands  to  reason  they 
are  right  now;  so  he  obeys  even  when  he  does  not  see  clearly 
the  same  necessity  that  they  see  for  certain  acts. 

Commands  Should  be  Reasonable. — If  only  parents  would 
always  stop  to  think  before  giving  any  command,  how  simple 
obedience  would  be!  It  is  because  foolish,  unnecessary  things 
are  demanded,  or  because  children  learn  that  there  is  left  a 
loophole  for  disobedience,  or  because  they  have  learned  by 
bitter   experience   that  certain  commands   are   both   exacting 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  155 

and  unreasonable,  that  they  disobey.  Children  of  reasonable, 
thoughtful,  conscientious  parents  do  obey  them.  They  trust 
their  wisdom,  they  understand  that  a  good  reason  exists  behind 
the  command,  and  so  they  are  willing  to  do  as  they  are  asked. 
Then  later  on  they  may  ask  why,  and  be  told;  and  so  their 
trust  is  justified. 

The  way  of  demanding  obedience  counts  for  a  great  deal  in 
securing  it.  To  simply  say  "  Do  this,"  with  the  air  and  manner 
of  a  tyrant,  is  to  create  at  once  a  disposition  to  do  the  opposite. 
"I'll  mind  now  because  I  must,"  the  child  declares  inwardly, 
"but  when  I'm  grown  up  I'll  do  as  I  please."  It  is  by  far  the 
best  way  to  put  commands  if  possible  in  an  attractive  form. 
Instead  of  saying  "You  must  fill  the  wood-box  before  you  can 
go  out,"  it  is  quite  as  easy  to  say  "Won't  you  please  get  me  a 
whole  boxful  of  wood  before  you  go  ?  I  need  it  to  cook  with  for 
our  supper,  and  I'm  going  to  make  something  you  like!"  And 
the  difference  in  the  way  the  box  is  filled  is  worth  the  extra 
trouble,  if  there  is  any  trouble,  in  putting  it  so.  You  may 
request  a  child  to  do  almost  anything,  if  you  put  it  attractively, 
and  he  will  do  as  you  wish;  but  after  a  certain  period  you  cannot 
demand  that  he  shall  do  this  or  that  without  arousing  antago- 
nism in  him.  And  yet  sometimes,  even  when  a  child  has  been 
carefully  taught  to  obey,  and  has  apparently  learned  the  lesson 
that  his  parents  know  best,  there  will  arise  a  family  crisis. 
Perhaps  a  question  of  health  is  involved,  or  of  morals,  or  some 
other  really  serious  thing,  and  the  growing  boy  or  girl  is  quite 
sure  the  parents  are  wrong,  and  will  not  be  convinced  by  the 
most  careful,  patient  reasoning  and  explanation;  such  things 
do  happen.  Then,  after  all  is  said,  if  the  father  and  mother  are 
certain  of  the  wisdom  of  their  course,  the  child,  not  the  parents, 
must  yield.  Once  in  a  long  time  it  is  best  to  let  the  child  have 
his  own  way  and  teach  him  by  suffering  that  he  is  wrong;  but 
usually  this  is  too  costly,  and  it  is  better  to  say  firmly,  "You 
must  abide  by  my  decision;  I  am  sure  in  this  case  I  am  right,  and 
when  you  are  older  you  will  see  that  it  was  so."  Then  the  child 
will  show  whether,  after  all,  his  training  in  obedience  has  been 
worth  while.  If  he  submits  with  an  underlying  belief  in  his 
parents  in  spite  of  his  disappointment,  the  day  is  won;  it  has 


156  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

been  worth  everything  to  have  reached  this  point,  and  the  re- 
ward is  already  being  won  for  gentle  firmness  in  his  training. 

(^*  ((?•  t^* 

THE  CHILD'S  TRUTHFULNESS 

BY  CAROLINE   BENEDICT   BURRELL 

THERE  is  no  reason  why  any  child  who  is  carefully  trained 
should  ever  grow  up  untruthful;  if  he  does,  undoubtedly 
there  has  been  some  serious  mistake  to  account  for  it.  A  little 
child,  who  is  healthy,  kindly  treated,  encouraged  to  be  frank  in 
speaking  of  everything  to  his  parents,  will  naturally  grow  up 
more  and  more  into  perfect  truthfulness.  It  is  this  belief  which 
helps  parents  over  the  difficult  places  in  the  lives  of  their  children 
when  it  seems  as  though  they  were  inherently  little  liars;  for 
sooner  or  later  most  parents  have  to  face  the  fact  that  a  child 
has  not  told  the  truth.  Usually  this  comes  with  a  shock,  and 
too  often  brings  a  certain  despair  with  it;  if  only  one  could  ac- 
cept it  as  a  normal  phase  it  would  make  things  infinitely  easier! 
Ordinarily  the  child's  imagination  is  at  fault.  He  dreams 
so  many  little  dreams  and  tells  them  as  facts,  that  he  is  involved 
at  once  in  difficulties  and  does  not  know  how  to  explain.  He 
hears  grown  people  tell  made-up  stories,  and  he  is  expected  to 
enjoy  them,  and  does;  yet  v^'hen  he  tells  a  made-up  story  he  is 
treated  as  a  small  criminal!  To  him  it  is  bewildering.  This 
is  the  place  where  a  mother  should  be  ready,  not  with  punish- 
ment, but  with  understanding  and  a  clear  explanation.  When 
the  boy  comes  home  from  school  and  says!  "I  met  a  mad  dog 
running  down  the  street,  and  he  chased  me,  and  I  ran  as  fast  as  I 
could  and  at  last  I  got  away,"  and  the  whole  thing  turns  out  to 
be  false,  she  can  easily  recall  the  story  of  adventure  she  read 
him  a  week  ago  in  which  a  hunter  was  chased  by  a  lion  and 
barely  escaped  with  his  life:  that  was  all  imagination,  and  so 
is  his  story,  copied  after  it;  he  sees  no  difference.  Such  things 
are  not  untruthful  in  any  wrong  sense;  they  are  merely  flights 
of  fancy.     She  will  probably  have  some  trouble  in  making  him 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  157 

see  why  if  a  man  in  a  book  tells  such  things  he  may  not,  but 
after  a  time  he  will  see,  and  will  stop  inventing  adventures. 

Nothing  could  be  a  greater  wrong  to  a  child  than  to  punish 
him  for  telling  such  things.  If  he  persists  after  he  really  under- 
stands that  they  are  wrong  and  absurd,  sometimes  a  little  whole- 
some ridicule  w^ill  break  him  of  the  habit;  but  in  any  case  he 
will  grow  out  of  it  in  a  short  time.  His  playmates  will  usually 
laugh  at  him  in  such  a  way  as  to  work  a  complete  cure. 

Dealing  with  Serious  Falsehoods. — It  is  quite  another  matter 
when  a  child  lies  to  gain  an  end;  that  is  a  really  serious  matter,  '^ 
never  to  be  passed  over.  Any  falseness,  whether  in  word  or 
action,  especially  one  in  which  a  reward  comes  for  the  effective 
lie,  is  one  of  the  worst  corrupters  of  character.  The  moment 
when  a  mother  finds  out  that  her  child  has  been  false  in  such  a 
way  as  this,  there  should  come  some  penalty  never  to  be  for- 
gotten. 

This  does  not  mean  corporal  punishment,  although  a  pinch 
of  quinine  put  on  a  little  tongue  is  effective  with  a  very  small 
child;  but  it  does  mean  that  he  must  be  talked  to  in  such  a 
solemn  way  of  his  wTong-doing,  and  have  its  result  so  put  before 
him,  that  he  can  never  forget  it;  and  after  this  is  done,  there 
should  be  a  punishment.  If  some  one  else  has  been  involved, 
there  must  be  a  confession,  no  matter  how  humiliating.  If 
no  one  knows,  still  there  must  be  the  acknowledgment  of  the 
wrong,  and  something  to  make  the  child  remember  not  to  do 
such  a  thing  again.  Perhaps  a  day  alone  will  effect  this;  or 
he  may  be  forbidden  to  speak  to  any  other  child  for  a  day;  or 
he  may  lose  some  coveted  pleasure.  At  all  events  it  is  a  moral 
crisis,  and  one  to  be  faced  by  a  parent  with  all  the  wisdom  to  be 
summoned. 

The  Cowardly  Lie. — When  the  lie  comes  from  still  another 
source  and  is  uttered  in  order  to  avoid  a  punishment,  then  the 
matter  is  even  worse,  for  here  it  is  the  parent,  not  the  child, 
who  is  principally  to  blame.  If  a  father  is  so  harsh  as  to  make ' 
his  boy  afraid  of  him,  then  he  must  expect  the  child  to  lie  to 
cover  up  a  wrong,  and  if  he  does,  it  is  really  the  parent  who 
should  be  punished.  Sometimes  a  timid  child  will  lie  unreason- 
ably, even  when  he  knows  the  punishment  for  telling  the  truth 


158  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

will  not  be  serious.  But  certainly  the  only  help  for  such  cases 
lies  in  moral  suasion,  never  in  the  long  run  in  corporal  punish- 
ment; that  only  makes  a  bad  matter  worse.  The  child  will  lie 
to  avoid  the  whipping,  and  lie  to  cover  up  the  first  lie;  and  day 
by  day  he  will  do  this  till  he  is  confirmed  in  the  habit 

Sometimes,  when  after  a  while  a  parent  wakes  to  this  danger, 
he  will  say,  "If  you  will  only  tell  the  truth  you  shall  not  be 
punished,  but  if  you  lie  and  I  find  it  out  you  shall  be";  and  still 
the  child  lies;  it  is  because  the  trouble  is  so  deep-seated  by  this 
time  that  it  seems  ineradicable.  Fear  of  punishment  is  a  danger- 
ous thing  to  use  in  any  way. 

It  happens  occasionally  that  a  child  will  apparently  tell  a 
falsehood  and  suffer  for  it  under  some  misapprehension.  A 
little  girl  refused  to  tell  where  a  certain  key  was  which  her  mother 
was  sure  she  had  had.  "Tell  me  the  truth,  tell  just  what  you 
did  with  it,"  she  was  begged,  and  steadily  she  replied,  "I  don't 
know."  It  seemed  not  only  a  lie,  but  an  obstinate  one  as  well. 
Finally  it  was  found  that  the  key  was  really  in  a  place  where  she 
could  not  possibly  have  put  it  or  kno\\Ti  its  being,  and  then  she 
exclaimed,  "  You  see  I  could  not  tell  the  truth  because  I  didn't 
know  the  truth!"  One  must  be  very  certain  that  a  child  under- 
stands exactly  what  he  has  done  that  is  wrong,  and  why,  and  the 
parent  must  be  quite  as  certain  that  the  facts  of  the  case  are  all 
in,  before  going  ahead  to  deal  with  the  difficulty.  It  is  a  serious 
thing  even  to  accuse  a  child  who  is  naturally  truthful  of 
telling  a  falsehood;  his  whole  being  resents  the  accusation,  and 
his  self-respect  suffers,  even  if  no  punishment  is  laid  upon  him. 

Preventing  Untruthfulness. — The  best  way  to  deal  with 
lying  in  children  is  never  to  meet  it;  if  the  family  life  is  open  and 
frank,  and  if  children  have  cause  to  believe  in  their  parents' 
love  and  justice,  they  will  seldom  deliberately  lie.  Many  a 
family  of  children  grow  up  as  truthful  as  the  day,  and  fathers 
and  mothers  never  have  to  face  the  terrible  situation  of  realizing 
that  a  child  has  lied.  Where  the  ideal  of  perfect  openness  is  con- 
stantly held  up,  and  one  who  even  evades  the  truth  is  despised, 
boys  and  girls  usually  are  truthful  as  a  matter  of  course,  or  truth- 
ful except  for  some  one  fall  by  the  way  which  they  never  repeat. 
Where  parents  never  deceive,  and  questions  are  always  answered 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  159 

with  exactness,  even  with  limitations  as  to  extent,  and  where 
promises  are  kept,  there  a  child  is  open  in  his  ways  and  words. 

It  is  in  the  breaking  of  promises  that  most  parents  fail  in 
their  own  truthfulness  and  in  their  training  of  their  children. 
One  day  a  child  was  promised  a  drive,  one  he  had  long  wanted 
and  to  which  he  had  looked  forward.  At  the  last  moment  his 
father  and  mother  decided  not  to  take  him  and  drove  away 
alone.  He  looked  after  them  and  said  scornfully,  "There  go 
two  liars!"  Probably  never  again  in  his  life  did  he  ever  really 
trust  their  word  as  fully  as  before  they  broke  it.  To  say  that 
something  is  to  be,  or  is  not  to  be,  is  to  give  a  pledge  of  one's 
own  straightforwardness,  and  it  must  be  kept,  or  the  penalty 
paid  of  having  one's  children  grow  up  untruthful. 

Ideals  of  Truth. — One  great  aid  in  training  children  to  speak 
the  exact  truth  is  to  hold  up  before  them  the  ideals  of  truth  in 
others.  When  a  father  points  out  that  some  public  man  has 
told  the  thing  that  was  so  to  his  own  injury,  the  boy  admires 
him  for  it,  and  remembers  it.  A  mother  can  read  aloud  to  her 
children  stories  of  good  men  who  always  spoke  the  truth,  and 
can  so  fire  them  with  admiration  that  they  will  try  and  be  like 
them.  The  old  way  of  threatening  children  with  a  penalty  in 
future  life  for  lying  is  not  half  as  effective  as  the  holding  up  before 
them  the  beauty  of  telling  the  "lovely  white  truth,"  and  inspiring 
them  to  grow  into  it. 

^%  ^%  i^% 

SELF-CONTROL  IN  THE  CHILD 

BY  CAROLINE   BENEDICT  BURRELL 

THE  end  and  aim  of  all  real  education  is  to  teach  the  child  // 
to  control  himself.  It  seems  strange  that  any  grown 
man  or  woman  needs  to  be  told  "Do  this,"  and  "Do  not  do 
that,"  and  yet  practically  that  is  what  must  be  done  for  those 
who  have  not  learned  to  direct  their  own  lives.  A  parent  sees 
but  half  his  responsibilities  who  thinks  that  training  in  obedience 
is  all  that  is  necessary  to  make  a  perfect  man  out  of  a  boy,  or  a 
noble  woman  out  of  a  girl;  in  the  end  the  man  or  woman  stands 


160  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

or  falls  as  they  have  learned  the  greatest  of  all  duties,  that  of 
self-control. 

A  Test  of  Character. — In  infancy,  of  course,  a  mother  and 
father  must  do  the  thinking  for  the  child;  he  must  eat  and  exer- 
cise and  sleep  as  they  direct;  but  once  out  of  babyhood  there 
must  be  a  gradual  shifting  of  this  control  to  the  child's  own  mind 
1  and  conscience.  Suppose  a  boy  is  left  to  guide  himself  for  a 
week;  he  is  told  he  may  go  to  school  or  not  as  he  pleases;  he 
may  go  swimming  no  matter  what  the  weather  is,  and  eat  what- 
ever his  fancy  directs,  and  go  to  bed  when  he  chooses.  That 
is  a  real  test  of  character,  for  the  boy  who  has  been  taught  to 
control  himself  and  to  arrange  his  life  not  by  what  he  prefers 
to  do  but  by  what  he  knows  is  right,  will  probably  follow  exactly, 
or  at  least  nearly,  the  regular  programme  as  he  has  learned  it, 
and  do  his  school  and  home  work  at  their  proper  times,  eat  what 
he  has  been  told  is  good  for  him  and  go  to  bed  about  his  usual 
time;  and,  of  course,  the  one  who  has  been  merely  blindly 
obedient  to  his  parents  will  rejoice  in  his  freedom  and  become 
a  lawless  little  being  till  he  is  again  put  under  authority. 

The  use  of  the  words  "right"  and  "wrong"  ought  to  be 
early  taught  any  child.  It  is  not  because  mother  says  he  must 
go  to  bed  that  he  has  to  go  at  eight,  but  because  he  needs  the 
sleep,  and  will  not  grow  up  strong  without  it  that  he  has  to  go; 
it  is  right  that  he  should  do  so;  this  at  once  seems  reasonable 
to  a  child.  He  sees  that  his  father  and  mother  do  things  they 
do  not  like  because  they  recognize  that  the  same  higher  law 
extends  over  them  too,  and  that,  once  clearly  seen,  is  a  wonderful 
help  to  a  child  in  doing  the  things  he  should.  It  is  a  lesson  not 
to  be  taught  all  at  once,  but  by  gradual  steps,  and  not  so  much 
by  words  as  by  example.  If  the  child  holds  the  key  to  the 
home  life,  and  day  by  day  watches  his  parents  do  the  best  thing 
they  know,  whether  it  is  pleasant  or  not,  he  is  on  the  way  to  con- 
trol himself  just  as  they  control  themselves,  by  the  perfect  law. 

Inculcating  Self-control. — With  most  children  it  is  safe  to 
begin  very  early  to  let  them  practise  this  self-control.  The 
mother  says,  perhaps,  "I  see  that  you  are  getting  very  angry;  I 
am  sure  you  will  be  likely  to  say  and  do  things  you  will  be  sorry 
for;  don't  you  think  you  had  better  go  to  your  room  till  you  are 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  161 

quiet  again?"  Probably  if  the  fit  of  anger  has  gone  too  far,  the 
child  will  refuse  and  give  way  still  further,  but  at  the  very  be- 
ginning he  may  be  willing  to  go.  Then  later  on,  when  all  is 
over,  the  mother  can  talk  things  over  with  him,  praise  him  for 
his  going  away,  tell  him  of  the  dreadful  things  that  happen  when 
a  grown  man  gets  more  and  more  angry  and  does  not  control 
himself,  and  of  the  murders  of  which  one  so  often  reads  as  a 
result  of  such  fits  of  passion.  The  boy  is  impressionable,  and 
usually  willing  to  learn  the  lesson.  He  will  sometimes  forget, 
of  course,  being  merely  human,  but  if  this  course  is  persisted  in, 
he  will  sooner  or  later  learn  to  control  his  temper  by  leaving  the 
place  where  it  is  excited;  some  day  perhaps  he  may  be  able  to 
stay  where  he  is  and  still  control  it,  which  is  even  a  higher 
thing. 

The  same  idea  may  be  used  in  teaching  children  to  control 
their  appetites  for  sweets,  or  any  forbidden  pleasures.  It  is 
better  to  run  away  than  to  yield  to  temptation.  There  is  a 
ridiculous  little  story  of  a  girl  who  came  into  a  room  and  saw  a 
basket  of  fruit  on  the  table,  prepared  for  company;  she  walked 
all  around  the  table,  holding  her  small  hands  behind  her  back; 
then  she  remarked  firmly,  "Sold  again,  Satan!"  and  left  the 
room.  That  illustrates  exactly  what  a  well-taught  child  feels, 
that  she  has  conquered  if  she  resists  a  wrong  inclination. 

Here,  as  elsewhere,  an  ideal  is  a  great  help  to  a  child.  The 
stories  of  King  Arthur  and  his  knights  and  their  search  for 
the  Holy  Grail  are  suggestive  of  the  strife  for  the  best  things 
against  the  worst.  Before  they  are  in  their  teens  children  will 
love  to  hear  read  the  "Idylls  of  the  King,"  and  "Sir  Launfal," 
and  even  Malory's  "Morte  d'  Arthur, "  and  better  now  than  when 
they  are  older,  they  will  take  the  lessons  to  heart  they  learn 
there.  There  is  an  old  story  of  King  Louis  the  Fourteenth 
which  also  gives  them  a  helpful  idea:  Once  he  was  listening 
to  a  sermon  in  the  royal  chapel,  and  the  preacher  spoke  of  the 
struggle  St.  Paul  tells,  of  the  two  men  within  the  soul.  At 
once  the  king,  careless  of  the  rest  of  the  audience,  cried  out,  "  Oh, 
how  well  I  know  those  two  men! "  Even  the  smallest  child  knows 
something  of  the  strife  of  the  two  men,  and  will  appreciate  the 
point  of  the  story  and  remember  it. 


162  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

The  Child  to  be  Trusted. — The  plan  of  trusting  a  child  is 
one  of  the  best  ways  of  developing  this  plan  of  having  him  control 
himself  rather  than  be  controlled  by  some  one  else.  A  mother 
can  say,  "Oh,  it  is  unnecessary  for  me  to  tell  you  what  to 
do;  you  know  what  is  right,  and  of  coiu^se  you  will  do  that." 
This  throws  the  whole  responsibility  where  it  belongs,  and  at 
the  same  time  it  appeals  to  the  child's  better  nature,  and  so  a 
double  purpose  is  served.  It  is  an  appeal  to  the  highest  in  him, 
and  one  he  will  not  lightly  disregard. 

Often  parents  shrink  from  laying  in  early  years  this  burden 
of  responsibility  on  a  child.  They  argue  that  it  is  too  much  for 
them,  and  it  is  better  for  them  to  have  their  parents  decide  what 
they  shall  do,  and  so  relieve  them  from  the  thought,  sometimes 
indeed,  the  anxious  thought,  of  what  to  do.  But  self-control 
is  something  it  takes  a  whole  hfe  to  learn,  and  it  is  not  too  soon 
to  begin,  even  in  early  childhood,  to  teach  it.  Perhaps  the  home 
may  be  broken  up  and  a  boy  thrown  early  out  into  the  world; 
if  he  has  been  used  only  to  guidance  from  without,  he  will 
struggle  with  all  sorts  of  temptations  and  perplexities  which  will 
meet  him,  and  too  probably  he  will  fall.  How  much  better  to 
let  him  know  from  the  outset  that  he  must  depend  largely  upon 
himself,  and  that  he  is  expected  to  be  strong  and  manly,  and  to 
choose  the  right!  That  sort  of  stimulating  teaching  will  keep 
him  from  evil,  and  make  a  man  of  him  while  yet  he  is  but  a  boy 
in  years.  It  is  the  weakling  who  succumbs  to  the  temptations 
of  the  world,  the  flesh,  and  the  devil — the  one  who  has  been 
overguided  and  controlled,  who  has  never  learned  to  know  his 
foes  and  to  meet  them  fearlessly.  If  from  a  child  he  has  had  to 
control  himself,  he  is  armed  against  his  enemies. 

^*  ^*  K^"^ 

TRAINING  IN  ORDER  AND  PUNCTUALITY 

BY   CAROLINE   BENEDICT   BURRELL 

A  CHILD   is  ordinarily   a  disorderly  little  being,  probably 
because  from  his  first  day  he  has  been  accustomed  to 
being  waited  upon,  picked-up  for,  and  generally  directed  by  his 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  163 

mother  or  his  nurse,  or  both  together.  When  the  time  comes 
that  he  is  expected  to  do  things  for  himself,  he  is  unprepared,  and 
it  takes  a  long,  long  time,  sometimes  many  years,  to  let  him  under- 
stand that  he  is  responsible  for  keeping  his  things  in  place; 
too  often  he  never  learns  it  at  all.  Boys  more  than  girls,  fail 
in  order  perhaps  from  hereditary  instincts,  for  a  man  has  been 
always  more  waited  upon  in  small  ways  than  a  woman,  and  the 
home-making  strain  which  must  be  born  in  a  girl  shows  itself 
early.  At  the  same  time,  both  need  careful  training  in  such 
ways  or  they  will  become  selfishly  careless  of  others. 

Orderly  Habits  to  Be  Formed  Early. — A  very  small  child  will 
strew  his  playthings  over  the  nursery  floor,  and  when  told  to 
pick  them  up  and  put  them  away,  very  often  will  rebel.  This 
is  usually  because  it  is  growing  toward  the  end  of  the  day  and 
he  is  tired;  the  quantity  of  things  looks  enormous  to  him,  and 
his  little  body  aches  at  the  very  thought  of  the  task.  Still,  with 
tact  he  can  be  helped  over  the  difficulty.  It  is  better  not  to  let 
so  many  things  get  about,  but  when  one  set  of  playthings  is 
finished  with,  it  can  be  put  away  in  some  easily  reached  place, 
and  something  else  taken  out.  A  large  covered  box  close  at 
hand  makes  a  good  place  for  toys.  Then  too,  if  some  one  will 
help  put  things  away,  that  assists  wonderfully;  or  if  he  is  told 
that  father  is  coming,  and  the  room  must  all  be  in  order  for  him, 
for  he  will  be  sorry  to  see  it  upset.  At  all  events,  in  some  such 
way  order  should  be  taught  even  in  a  very  little  child. 

Playmates  are  very  thoughtless  in  helping  cover  the  room 
with  toys  and  then  going  home  leaving  the  little  host  to  pick 
up;  this  should  not  be  allowed,  but  the  mother  should  stop  the 
play  half  an  hour  before  time  for  the  visitors  to  go  home  and 
all  together  the  children  should  put  things  away,  even  at  the  risk 
of  seeming  inhospitable.  The  child  taught  in  his  own  home 
that  this  is  the  right  thing,  will,  when  he  in  his  turn  goes  visiting, 
help  to  dispose  of  the  toys  at  the  neighbors'. 

So  with  the  child's  own  room,  here  from  the  first  he  must 
learn  to  keep  things  in  order.  He  can  always  put  his  nightgown 
on  a  chair,  even  if  he  cannot  hang  it  up  in  the  closet;  he  can  set 
the  bureau  top  to  rights,  and  put  things  in  the  drawers  and 
stand  his  shoes  in  an  orderly  row.    When  the  bed  is  made  he 


164  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

can  help  with  it,  and  dust,  and  straighten  the  curtains.  Really 
he  will  enjoy  the  feeling  of  importance  in  doing  all  this  if  it  is 
done  cheerfully,  not  considered  a  task  so  much  as  a  pleasure. 
If  from  his  childhood  he  knows  the  duty  of  orderliness  in  his 
own  room,  he  will  probably  never  become  that  selfish  being,  a 
man  who  lets  his  sister  or  his  wife  pick  up  and  put  away  his 
things,  carelessly  strewn  everywhere.  It  is  only  right  that  he 
should  feel  that  he  is  responsible  for  everything  which  belongs  to 
him,  and  he  must  keep  it  in  its  place. 

Care  of  the  Person  and  the  Room. — Personal  neatness  is 
really  orderliness,  and  this,  too,  cannot  be  taught  too  early. 
Children  naturally  resent  having  their  faces  and  hands  washed 
too  frequently,  and  it  is  absurd  and  wrong  to  expect  them  to  be 
always  clean  and  tidy;  when  they  are  playing  they  should  not 
be  bothered  by  having  such  things  insisted  on;  at  the  same 
time,  there  are  hours  when  they  should  be  tidy  as  a  matter  of 
course,  especially  when  they  come  to  the  table  for  their  meals. 
Then  a  mother  must  insist  on  having  the  hands  washed  and 
the  hair  smooth.  This  is  always  a  trouble  for  both  parent  and 
child,  but  it  need  not  be  so  difficult,  if  the  child  who  comes  clean 
gets  the  larger  helping  of  dessert,  and  the  one  who  has  been 
forgetful  gets  but  a  small  one.  It  is  a  lesson  in  orderliness  not 
soon  forgotten,  and  one  far  better  taught  in  this  way  than  by 
perpetual  talking. 

As  to  training  a  child  to  keep  the  house  in  order  outside 
his  own  room,  that  too  must  be  enforced.  One  has  no  right  to 
throw  down  a  cap,  an  armful  of  books,  a  pair  of  muddy  rubbers, 
for  some  one  else  to  put  away,  no  matter  if  that  some  one  is 
perfectly  willing  to  do  it.  He  has  a  duty  to  help  keep  the  home 
attractive.  But  children  are  far  too  apt  to  think  the  common 
living  room  theirs  in  the  peculiar  sense  of  disorder,  and  find 
it  hard  to  remember  to  put  away  their  belongings.  Parents, 
too,  are  sometimes  thoughtless  in  not  providing  places  which 
are  convenient  for  out-of-door  clothes,  and  books.  These  must 
be  at  hand — a  closet  with  low  hooks,  a  shelf  for  books;  a  box 
for  rubbers,  and  something  resembling  the  hymn-book  rack 
at  church,  on  some  wall,  for  the  books.  Then  after  all  these 
are  ready  the  child  must  use  them. 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  165 

Methods  of  Teaching  Orderliness. — One  of  the  best  ways  to 
teach  order  here  is  to  have  it  a  good-natured  rule  that  such  things 
out  of  place  will  disappear.  A  lost  cap  will  be  found  hidden  in 
some  out-of-the-way  corner;  a  school-book  will  be  discovered 
tucked  under  a  chair-cushion,  and  so  on.  When  one  must  take 
precious  moments  to  hunt  up  such  things  before  school  it  is 
probable  that  next  time  they  will  go  where  they  belong.  Here, 
as  in  one's  own  room,  a  mother  should  dwell  on  the  selfishness 
of  keeping  the  house  in  disorder,  and  teach  a  child  that  he  has 
[      ,^no^  right  to  be  careless. 

Sometimes  a  girl  who  is  disorderly  can  be  reached  by  her 
vanity  in  a  wholesome  way.  If  she  leaves  her  room  upset,  with 
dresses  on  chair  and  even  on  the  floor,  and  then  brings  home 
from  school  a  couple  of  friends  and  ushers  them  into  her  room, 
she  will  not  need  a  suggestion  from  her  mother  to  make  her  more 
careful  next  time.  If  she  does,  then  half  a  Saturday  spent  in 
putting  things  to  rights  will  aid  her  in  remembering. 

One  aid  in  teaching  a  girl  to  be  orderly  outside  her  room, 
is  to  make  her  responsible  for  the  sitting-room;  she  can  straighten 
it  up  before  school  in  the  morning  in  only  a  moment's  time,  if 
every  one  puts  things  away,  but  if  others  are  careless,  or  she 
herself  is  careless,  then  it  takes  longer.  Some  rainy  days,  or 
Saturdays,  she  can  put  everything  thoroughly  tidy  in  the  room, 
and  so  she  will  learn  what  is  necessary  for  her  to  know. 

Teaching  Punctuality. — Punctuality  is  almost  as  difficult 
to  teach  as  orderliness  at  home,  and  it  is  especially  difficult  to 
get  children  to  be  prompt  at  breakfast-time,  because  it  seems 
natural  for  them  to  dawdle  over  dressing.  But  there  are  two 
ways  of  teaching  this.  One  is  to  have  some  deprivation  for 
tardiness,  such  as  the  loss  of  the  fruit-course  if  there  is  one,  or 
cream  on  porridge,  or  plain  bread  and  butter  in  place  of  the  hot 
bread.  The  second  is  a  higher  way  of  dealing  with  the  matter; 
it  is  to  have  each  child  have  some  personal  responsibility  about 
the  meal;  a  girl  may  perhaps  be  expected  to  pour  the  water,  or 
put  on  the  napkins;  if  she  is  late,  she  may  know  the  whole  family 
are  sitting  about  the  table,  unable  to  begin  the  meal  till  she 
comes.  If  that  plan  is  faithfully  carried  out,  and  no  one  does  her 
work  for  her,  she  will  soon  learn  to  be  on  time.     A  boy  may 


166  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

also  have  some  duty,  perhaps  getting  the  morning  paper  and 
bringing  it  to  his  father,  who  waits  for  it.  Where  love  rules  the 
home  these  things  count  for  a  great  deal. 

As  to  punctuality  in  school,  a  system  of  rewards  helps. 
Every  school  report  should  be  carefully  read  by  the  parents,  and 
all  tardiness  inquired  into;  where  the  report  is  good,  there  should 
always  be  a  reward,  not  perhaps  in  money,  but  in  some  treat; 
where  one  has  been  careless,  and  frequendy  late  without  ex- 
cuse, this  may  be  withheld,  and  the  child  told  he  must  do  better 
next  time. 

Too  often  children  grow  up  disorderly  and  unpunctual 
because  their  mothers  are  to  blame.  It  may  be  more  trouble 
to  get  a  child  to  put  things  to  rights  than  to  do  the  work  one's 
self,  and  so  the  child  slips  out  of  the  duty.  But  for  his  own  sake, 
as  well  as  for  that  of  those  who  will  take  the  mother's  place  in 
after  years,  this  should  never  be;  both  a  boy  and  a  girl  should 
be  given  the  training  they  need  even  though  it  is  a  trouble,  and 
a  great  one. 

So  with  punctuality,  the  lack  of  it  may  often  be  traced  to 
the  parents.  The  family  may  be  lazy  about  getting  up  on  Sun- 
day mornings,  and  become  habitually  late  in  getting  to  church; 
breakfast  may  be  at  all  hours  on  school-days,  and  so  the  child 
really  cannot  help  coming  late  to  school;  the  whole  habit  of  the 
household  may  be  that  of  easy-going  carelessness  in  keeping 
appointments,  and  the  child  grows  up  indifferent  to  exactness. 
All  this  is  selfishly  wrong  on  the  part  of  the  father  and  mother, 
and  children  who  are  not  well  trained  in  such  ways  must  pay 
dearly  for  their  parents'  thoughtlessness  later  in  life. 

^w  ^w  ^* 

THE  CHILD  AND  MONEY 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

THE  mind  of  a  child  veers  between  the  love  of  acquiring 
and    the  love  of  spending.     It  delights  to  hoard,   to 
shake  its  bank  and  feel  its  increasing  weight;  and  it  also  de- 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  167 

lights  to  spend  recklessly  until  it  is  bankrupt.  It  was  doubtless 
these  traits  which  made  a  distinguished  Frenchman  describe 
the  American  child  as  "a  mercenary  little  wretch."  Probably 
there  is  something  of  heredity  in  these  things,  for  to  wish  to 
amass  rapidly  and  spend  extravagantly  is  a  national  trait,  and 
the  child  only  reflects  the  attitude  of  its  parents. 

Source  of  Supply. — How  shall  our  children  obtain  their 
money?  Usually  it  comes  from  the  parental  pocket-book  in 
a  more  or  less  irregular  trickle,  rather  than  in  that  small  but 
steady  stream  which  develops  the  child's  sense  of  its  value.  In 
either  case,  if  given  too  lavishly,  it  will  mean  nothing;  if  doled 
out  too  parsimoniously  it  will  acquire  an  abnormal  value.  It 
should  be  given  by  some  regular  system  or  it  will  do  harm. 

There  is  much  to  be  said  in  favor  of  letting  the  children  earn 
their  own  money.  They  may  be  paid  by  the  day  or  week  for 
keeping  their  rooms  or  bureau  drawers  in  order,  for  being  punc- 
tual at  their  meals  or  at  their  study-hour,  for  having  clean 
hands  and  blackened  shoes,  or  for  performing  small  duties  about 
the  house.  A  series  of  rules  for  these  things,  with  their  rewards 
and  fines,  may  be  written  on  a  blackboard  in  the  play- room;  if 
accounts  are  regularly  kept  and  pay-day  is  faithfully  observed, 
it  will  be  a  training  in  the  way  in  which  money  should  come 
to  any  one,  that  is,  as  the  reward  of  labor.  Of  course  one  may 
claim  that  a  child  should  not  be  paid  for  doing  its  duty.  Ab- 
stractly that  is  true,  but  practically  in  the  case  of  these  small 
details  of  daily  life  it  will  be  found  that  no  harm  is  done  by  this 
small  breach  of  the  moral  law.  On  the  contrary,  this  system 
will  be  found  of  the  greatest  service  in  teaching  children  habits 
of  neatness  and  order  without  undue  friction.  If  occasionally 
a  child  is  found  to  have  an  unusual  desire  to  accumulate  money 
the  plan  must  be  modified. 

Children  may  be  paid  also  for  their  school-reports,  either 
receiving  a  fixed  sum  for  general  excellence,  or,  where  there  has 
been  difficulty  with  one  study,  for  improvement  in  that.  It  is 
a  mistake,  however,  to  put  everything  on  the  basis  of  bargaining. 
The  principles  of  the  home  should  not  be  those  of  the  shop, 
and  for  this  reason,  in  addition  to  the  money  a  child  earns,  it 
should  receive  an  occasional  present.     On  the  Fourth  of  July, 


168  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

for  instance,  it  is  a  real  hardship  for  a  child  to  have  to  take  a 
whole  dollar  from  its  bank  for  fireworks.  At  times  like  this 
a  gift  will  mean  a  great  deal. 

The  Question  of  an  Allowance. — Under  the  age  of  twelve 
few  children  receive  an  allowance.  Whether  they  should  or 
not  depends  somewhat  upon  the  child;  generally  speaking,  an 
allowance  is  desirable  only  after  a  certain  maturity  of  judg- 
ment is  reached.  But  if  it  is  given  it  should  not  be  the  only 
source  of  income;  every  child  should  earn  at  least  a  part  of  its 
spending-money,  in  ways  that  are  not  too  difficult. 

Lessons  in  Spending  Money. — But  when  the  child  has  money, 
what  shall  it  do  with  it  ?  A  famous  economist  tells  us  that  the 
three  legitimate  uses  of  money  are  saving,  spending,  and  giving, 
and  this  is  a  good  basis  from  which  to  study  the  matter.  A 
child's  saving  may  mean  nothing  at  all  to  it.  Simply  to  fill  a 
bank  with  pennies,  to  see  it  emptied,  and  to  hear  that  the  money 
has  been  transferred  to  a  larger  bank  downtown,  conveys  no  idea 
and  accomplishes  no  good  purpose;  there  should  always  be  a 
definite  end  in  view.  If  its  savings  are  small,  still  there  is  father's 
birthday  present  to  be  bought  or  Christmas  to  be  remembered. 
If  they  are  larger,  and  amount  to  quite  a  sum  in  the  course  of 
a  year,  do  not  let  the  child  become  miserly  and  enjoy  the  piling 
up  of  the  money  for  itself.  Possibly  the  money  may  be  spoken 
of  as  a  provision  for  the  future  should  a  rainy  day  come  to  the 
family,  or  the  outlook  may  be  toward  travel  or  special  advan- 
tages in  some  way.  Such  a  feeling  of  possession  may  be  an 
excellent  thing,  giving  the  child  a  proper  sense  of  power  and 
responsibility. 

If  there  must  be  some  self-denial  in  order  to  lay  up  money, 
so  much  the  better;  such  a  moral  training  is  not  to  be  ignored. 
Once  let  a  child  learn  to  give  up  a  present  good  for  one  more 
remote,  and  you  have  taught  the  principle  of  foresight. 

But  a  child  must  learn  to  part  with  its  money  as  well  as  save 
it.  To  most  children  spending  is  an  easier  matter  than  saving. 
This  world  is  new  to  a  child,  and  full  of  all  sorts  of  desirable 
things.  If  it  has  money,  why  not  buy  as  many  of  them  as  it 
can?  It  is  an  easy  thing  for  children  to  become  small  spend- 
thrifts through  the  carelessness  of  their  parents.     It  is  thought 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  169 

unnecessary  trouble  to  supervise  penny  purchases.  The 
amount  spent  is  so  trifling,  why  interfere  with  the  child's  pleas- 
ure? Let  it  buy  whatever  it  will.  Yet  there  is  a  reason  for 
supervision — it  is  just  here  that  a  child's  judgment  is  to  be 
trained.  If  it  wishes  to  buy  a  boat  or  a  doll  or  candy,  let  it  do 
so  occasionally,  but  if  possible  go  with  it,  not 

"With  a  little  hoard  of  maxims  preaching  down ' ' 

all  youthful  enthusiasm,  but  trying  to  teach  your  child  to  judge 
between  good,  better,  and  best.  Is  the  doll  worth  the  price? 
Is  it  not  better  to  buy  good  candy  than  poor,  even  if  one  gets 
less  for  the  money  ?  Is  it  not  wiser  to  buy  a  book  rather  than 
something  of  merely  passing  value? 

The  question  of  taste  also  should  enter  into  these  purchases. 
It  is  not  altogether  how  much  one  can  buy  with  a  certain  sum, 
nor  how  valuable  one's  purchases  are,  but  have  they  intrinsic 
beauty?  Children  should  not  be  permitted  to  buy  things  that 
are  gaudy  or  unsuitable,  whether  they  are  cheap  or  expensive. 
A  girl  of  ten  whose  taste  was  supposed  by  her  mother  to  be 
really  superior  was  permitted  to  go  alone  to  spend  a  birthday 
gold-piece.  The  result  was  an  appalling  array  of  cheap  jewelry, 
perfumery,  and  ridiculous  trinkets.  One  should  not  take  it 
for  granted  that  children  are  born  with  a  clear  sense  of  the  artis- 
tic, but  should  strive  to  develop  one  that  is  latent,  a  more  fre- 
quent case. 

If,  in  spite  of  care,  a  child  is  sometimes  extravagant  and 
empties  its  bank  foolishly,  there  is  a  certain  wisdom  in  letting 
it  learn  by  experience  that  it  cannot  spend  its  money  and  have 
it  too.  Better  let  the  bank  remain  empty  for  a  time  than  to 
refill  it  and  let  its  owner  feel  that  it  has  unlimited  means  to 
draw  upon. 

Benevolent  Tendencies. — Between  the  extremes  of  spending 
for  one's  self  and  giving  to  others  lies  the  delightful  spot  where  the 
two  are  combined.  A  boy  originated  the  idea  of  giving  his  mother 
a  weekly  treat  from  his  own  money.  Sometimes  he  took  her 
on  his  favorite  trolley-ride,  sometimes  he  bought  her  a  box  of 
his  favorite  bonbons.  The  naivete  of  the  plan  raises  a  smile, 
but  as  a  stepping-stone  to  a  genuine  altruism  it  is  not  to  be 


170  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

despised.  It  is  always  to  be  remembered  that  it  is  almost  as 
hard  for  a  child  to  part  with  its  money,  especially  if  it  has  earned 
it,  as  it  is  for  a  man  or  a  woman  to  do  so.  Almost,  but  not 
quite,  for  its  generosity  often  puts  us  to  the  blush. 

If  a  child  has  a  settled  income  it  is  best  to  teach  it  to  give 
away  a  certain  proportion;  so  much  for  benevolence,  so  much 
for  gifts,  so  much  for  extra  calls.  It  should  be  taught  to  give 
independently,  without  regard  to  the  gifts  of  other  children. 
It  will  especially  enjoy  giving  to  the  children  of  the  poor  through 
the  free  kindergartens,  fresh-air  funds,  day  nurseries,  and 
hospitals  for  little  cripples.  It  is  probably  better  for  the  child — 
if  not  for  the  cause — to  give  the  money  outright  than  to  arrange 
some  fair  or  other  entertainment  in  which  the  end  will  be  for- 
gotten largely  in  the  amusement  afforded. 

An  Ethical  View. — The  great  danger  that  confronts  us  all 
is  that  we  shall  overlook  the  fact  that  the  real  use  of  money  is  in 
the  development  of  character  and  the  service  of  man.  If,  as 
a  child,  one  acquires  honestly,  spends  thoughtfully,  and  gives 
generously,  he  will  grow  up  broad-minded  and  philanthropic. 
It  is  really  a  more  serious  matter  than  parents  usually  think  that 
children  should  receive  sound  views  of  money.  While  our 
national  life  is  disfigured  by  an  almost  universal  greed  of  getting 
and  lust  of  spending,  we  should  teach  them  that  there  are  right 
and  wrong  ways  of  getting  money,  and  right  and  wrong  ways  of 
spending   it. 

fc^        c5*        t5* 

THE  CHILD  AND  HANDICRAFT 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

OUR  national  eagerness  to  acquire  new  ideas  has  become 
proverbial,  yet  there  is  at  least  one  point  in  which  our 
great  public  school  system  is  curiously  behind  that  of  other 
countries;  we  omit  from  most  of  our  schools  any  attempt  to 
teach  manual  training.  Yet  the  idea  is  no  new  one.  Two 
centuries  ago  the  philosopher  John  Locke  pointed  out  the  value 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  171 

of  hand-labor  in  education,  and  urged  that  a  child  should  learn 
one  handicraft  thoroughly,  and  two  or  three  in  part.  Rousseau 
said  in  the  essay  on  education  that  has  been  called  "a  pedagogi- 
cal gold-mine,"  "If  I  employ  a  child  in  the  workshop  instead 
of  chaining  him  to  a  book,  then  his  hands  work  to  the  benefit 
of  his  mind."  Froebel  took  up  the  suggestion  of  hand-work 
and  introduced  it  into  his  kindergarten  system.  Sweden, 
Denmark,  Finland,  Russia,  Germany,  and  France  developed  the 
plan,  and  to-day  teach  manual  training  in  their  graded  schools. 
We  still  understand  it  so  little  that  we  think  that  only  those  who 
wish  to  learn  a  trade  need  know  how  to  handle  tools,  while 
really  nothing  could  be  further  from  the  ideas  of  those  who 
understand  the  principles  involved. 

Object  of  Manual  Training. — Handicraft  is  designed  to  de- 
velop the  mind  and  the  hand  rather  than  to  teach  any  particular 
thing.  The  child  has  two  faculties  which  we  are  apt  to  over- 
look— that  of  construction  and  that  of  destruction.  It  loves  to 
make  things;  give  it  a  paste-pot,  a  pair  of  scissors,  a  knife,  a 
needle,  and  see  the  pleasure  it  will  take  in  evolving  something 
of  its  very  own.  It  loves  to  destroy  things,  too,  but  less  from  a 
wanton  desire  to  spoil,  than  from  the  innate  wish  to  find  out 
what  it  is  that  "makes  the  wheels  go  round."  It  is  to  answer 
the  child's  needs  in  these  two  respects  that  it  should  be  taught 
handicraft.  It  there  learns  the  why  and  how  of  the  manufac- 
tured article,  and  it  learns  to  put  together  for  itself.  Its  eye 
and  hand  are  trained  to  a  precision  altogether  lacking  in  the 
untaught  child,  while  it  is  also  acquiring  at  the  same  time  con- 
centration, exactness,  and  perseverance,  all  of  which  are  of 
infinite  value  in  its  studies. 

Through  handicraft  it  also  works  off  a  large  part  of  its  super- 
fluous energy.  A  recess  of  five  or  ten  minutes  in  the  middle 
of  the  morning,  and  another  recess  of  an  hour  at  noon  are  not 
enough  to  dissipate  the  boundless  restlessness  a  child  feels. 
Many  a  so-called  "naughty  boy"  who  is  the  torment  of  school, 
is  suffering  from  a  real  nervousness  which  would  disappear  if 
he  had  something  to  do  which  would  occupy  pleasantly  both 
hands  and  head.  To  drop  arithmetic  for  a  time  and  take  up  a 
saw  or  plane  is  an  unspeakable  rest.     This  is  true  for  girls  no 


172  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

less  than  for  boys;  they  especially  need  a  course  in  handicraft, 
since  their  hands  do  not  naturally  take  a  hammer  or  a  chisel; 
they  also  get  far  less  exercise  than  their  brothers  do,  though 
their  growing  bodies  need  it  quite  as  much,  and  their  delicate 
nerves  even  more.  To  quote  Rousseau  again,  "The  great 
secret  of  education  is  to  combine  mental  and  physical  work  so 
that  the  one  kind  of  exercise  refreshes  for  the  other," 

Utilizing  Skill  with  Tools. — Handicraft  is  also  a  benefit  to 
a  child  in  that  it  brings  it  into  a  closer  relation  to  its  home.  When 
it  feels  that  it  is  not  a  contributor  to  it  in  any  material  sense,  but 
only  a  recipient,  it  misses  something  of  comradeship;  but  when 
it  can  really  add  to  the  home's  attractiveness  or  comfort  it  at 
once  acquires  a  new  love  for  it  and  pride  in  it.  Under  a  good 
teacher  of  any  form  of  handiwork  it  is  not  long  before  a  child 
is  able  to  make  something  really  useful  and  beautiful.  One 
has  only  to  visit  a  school  where  manual  training  is  taught  to 
recognize  with  wonder  the  possibilities  that  lie  there.  There 
are  picture-frames,  tables  carved  in  artistic  patterns,  chests 
for  linen,  plate-racks,  exquisite  bits  of  carved  metal,  beaten 
brass,  carved  leather,  beautifully  bound  books.  To  learn  to 
make  such  things  is  an  education  in  itself,  and  to  be  able  not 
only  to  make  them,  but  to  enrich  the  home  with  them,  is  to  feel 
and  to  confer  a  true  and  deep  pleasure. 

Encouraging  a  Talent  for  Handiwork. — But  beyond  these 
actual  or  possible  results  of  such  training  there  is  also  the  sug- 
gestion which  it  gives  of  the  bent  of  the  child's  mind.  Many 
a  parent  is  puzzled  to  know  what  course  to  pursue  in  looking 
towards  the  child's  future;  here  a  latent  talent  will  often  be 
disclosed.  The  child  will  show  plainly  that  it  has  a  taste  for 
art,  or  architecture,  or  applied  mathematics,  or  sculpture,  or 
something  equally  definite.  Parents  who  hesitate  over  a  course 
in  handicraft  lest  it  should  either  lead  to  a  distaste  for  study  or 
develop  a  wish  for  mechanical  labor  only,  are  surprised  to  find 
that  it  simply  smooths  the  path  to  a  desired  career. 

Where  there  is  no  opportunity  for  the  study  of  handicraft 
in  a  school  within  reach,  the  father  and  mother  should  try  to 
make  some  opportunity  for  it  at  home.  A  boy  may  have  a  tool- 
chest  when  he  is  very  young,  and  learn  to  drive  nails  or  do  odd 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  173 

bits  of  mending  about  the  house.  He  will  take  a  certain  pride 
in  doing  these  things  for  a  time,  but  very  soon  he  will  be  ready 
for  harder  work  under  a  regular  teacher.  He  might  then  take 
lessons  of  a  carpenter  in  the  use  of  tools  and  a  turning-lathe; 
or  one  can  sometimes  find  a  foreigner  who  for  a  very  small 
sum  of  money  will  give  lessons  in  wood-carving.  If  the  boy 
inclines  to  metal-working  he  should  have  some  one — if  only  the 
village  blacksmith — to  instruct  him  in  simple  iron  and  brass 
work. 

Handicraft  for  Girls. — A  girl  may  begin  to  study  manual 
training  after  the  excellent  kitchen-garden  system;  she  will 
enjoy  the  setting  of  tiny  tables  and  the  hanging  out  of  dolls' 
washing,  and  the  making  of  little  beds,  and  at  the  same  time  she 
will  be  learning  neatness  and  order,  accuracy  of  touch,  and  a 
dainty  way  of  doing  housework.  Sewing,  too,  that  discipline 
through  which  every  girl  must  pass,  may  be  redeemed  from 
drudgery  and  made  a  pastime  if  it  is  regarded  as  a  part  of  an 
education  in  handicraft  and  taught  so  as  to  awaken  an  interest 
in  it.  The  old  way  used  to  be  to  set  a  girl  a  daily  task  of  a  seam; 
later,  to  teach  her  to  cut  out  and  make  garments  for  herself  of 
stiff  muslin,  which  she  usually  moistened  with  her  tears.  To-day 
a  teacher  is  found  who  gathers  a  little  group  of  children  and 
gives  them  regular  lessons;  hemming  is  done  on  one  square  of 
cloth,  backstitching  on  another,  and  overcasting  on  a  third.  To 
make  buttonholes,  even,  in  company,  robs  them  of  half  their 
terrors.  It  is  not  so  important  that  a  child  should  know  how 
to  make  garments  as  how  to  sew.  If  she  knows  that,  the  making 
will  come  later. 

But  it  should  never  be  forgotten  that  sewing  is  not  the  only 
form  of  handicraft  with  which  a  girl  should  be  familiar.  She, 
like  the  boy,  should  learn  to  make  things  of  wood  and  leather 
and  metal,  for  the  development  of  both  head  and  hands.  A 
recent  writer  on  this  subject  says,  "  Boys  and  girls  whose  hands 
have  been  left  altogether  untrained  until  their  fifteenth  year  are 
practically  incapable  of  high  manual  efficiency  thereafter." 
Any  woman  whose  hands  are  adaptable  finds  herself  ready  for 
many  amusements  and  accomplishments  which  are  delightful 
and  useful. 


174  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Restfulness  of  Hand-work. — 'But  quite  apart  from  the  benefit 
one  receives  in  the  possession  of  a  trained  eye  and  hand  there 
is  another,  an  ultimate  value  in  a  course  in  handicraft  of  which 
as  children  we  never  think — that  rest  which  hand-work  gives  to 
the  tired  brain.  It  is  most  necessary  for  all  of  us  to  have  some- 
thing in  which  we  can  find  relaxation.  Dr.  Weir  Mitchell  in  a 
recent  article  advises  novel-reading,  but  to  many  brain-workers 
this  is  not  as  restful  as  something  which  occupies  the  hands  as 
well  as  the  mind.  The  lawyer,  the  wTiter,  the  physician,  the 
teacher,  the  mother,  may  throw  themselves  into  some  interesting 
form  of  handicraft,  such  as  artistic  bookbinding  or  wood- 
carving,  and  find  it  absorbing,  satisfying,  restful.  Hand-work 
in  which  there  is  no  creative  pleasure,  mere  manual  labor  in 
which  the  mind  has  no  share,  can  never  give  rest,  but  that  which 
occupies  hand  and  eyes  and  brain  at  once  makes  us  ready  to 
take  up  our  daily  burdens  again  with  a  new  vigor.  This  one 
reason  alone — the  benefit  which  a  knowledge  of  handicraft 
gives  to  us  during  the  stress  and  storm  of  life — seems  reason 
enough  why  we  should  study  it  in  our  leisure  years,  the  years  of 
childhood. 

^*  c?*  c5* 

MUSIC  AND  ART  FOR  THE  CHILD 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

WE  are  all  convinced  that  there  should  be  music  in  the  home; 
witness  the  piano,  or  at  least  the  parlor  organ,  in  almost 
every  house  in  the  land.  But  it  is  not  every  parent  who  has  an 
intelligent  appreciation  of  the  place  music  should  hold;  it  may 
be  a  bane  quite  as  well  as  a  blessing,  a  tyrant  as  often  as  a  friend. 
Piano-Lessons  as  Drudgery. — Happily  the  time  has  gone  by 
when  every  little  girl  must  take  piano-lessons,  and  toil  over 
scales  through  weary  hours,  regardless  of  sunshine  and  bird- 
song.  How  many  of  us  who  have  passed  through  those  memo- 
rable periods  of  distress  recall  the  expedients  to  which  we  were 
driven  to  shorten  them.  A  group  of  women  confessed  recently 
their  misdeeds  on  this  score.     One  had  moved  the  hands  of 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  175 

the  clock  until  her  mother  was  forced  to  buy  an  hour-glass; 
this  baffled  the  small  sinner  for  a  time,  but  she  soon  learned  that 
after  the  sand  had  dropped  through  for  a  little  while  the  glass 
could  be  reversed  and  the  time  shortened  by  half.  Another 
woman  said  that,  when  a  child  of  seven,  she  was  so  driven  to 
desperation  by  the  demands  of  her  music-teacher  that  she  ac- 
tually prepared  a  penknife  with  which  to  stab  him  should  he 
give  her  any  more  five-finger  exercises.  One  story  followed 
another,  all  going  to  prove  that  where  one  child  loved  its  prac- 
tising, nine  hated  it. 

Music  should  be  Loved,  not  Hated. — Children  naturally 
love  to  strum  on  the  piano  from  curiosity;  some  easily  learn 
to  pick  out  a  tune  with  one  finger,  beyond  that,  only  a  few 
really  love  music  well  enough  to  bear  its  drudgery  cheerfully. 
Yet  all  boys,  as  well  as  girls,  should  be  able  to  read  notes  both 
for  the  voice  and  for  the  fingers;  and  so  much,  doubtless,  they 
will  learn  in  school.  If  possible,  they  should  learn  to  play, 
more  or  less,  enough  eventually  to  accompany  a  singer  or  read 
a  hymn  at  sight.  But  it  should  be  made  as  easy  as  possible; 
practise-time  should  be  short,  never  over  half  an  hour  a  day  when 
the  child  is  under  twelve,  and  this  divided  into  two  periods. 
The  real  foundations  of  a  musical  education  on  any  instrument, 
the  endless  routine  of  scales  and  exercises,  should  not  be  insisted 
upon  where  there  is  a  genuine  hatred  for  them,  for  in  the  end 
it  will  be  found  that  there  is  nothing  gained  by  the  trouble 
taken.  By  all  means  cultivate  a  talent,  only  be  sure  there  is  a 
talent  to  be  cultivated.  Unless  one  is  prepared  to  make  a  life- 
work  of  it,  he  cannot  be  a  thorough  musician.  Music  is  some- 
times worth  paying  a  large  price  for,  but  not  always.  Especially 
it  is  not  right  that  a  whole  family  be  deprived  of  luxuries  or  even 
enjoyments  that  one  member,  merely,  may  be  accomplished. 
A  parent  should  try  to  gauge  his  child's  abilities,  tastes,  and 
prospects,  before  starting  him  upon  a  musical  education.  A 
girl  sometimes  spends  a  large  part  of  ten  or  fifteen  years  studying 
the  piano  or  violin,  and  then  on  marrying  gives  up  her  music 
because  of  lack  of  time  to  practise.  It  would  have  been  wiser 
to  give  her  a  broader  mental  training,  opportunities  for  travel, 
and  more  leisure  for  the  study  of  household  economics. 


176  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

On  the  other  hand,  a  small  amount  of  instrumental  music 
may  be  a  delight  to  a  family  circle,  especially  where  several  in- 
struments are  used.  A  boy  can  easily  learn  to  play  a  banjo  or 
guitar  to  his  great  enjoyment;  these  with  the  piano,  and  if 
possible  the  violin,  a  mother  will  find  a  great  help  as  she  tries 
to  make  her  children  happy  at  home. 

All  Should  Learn  to  Sing. — The  normal  child  always  loves 
to  sing.  It  begins  almost  as  soon  as  it  can  talk,  its  little  voice 
often  carrying  a  tune  with  astonishing  accuracy.  As  it  grows 
its  repertoire  increases,  until,  when  ten  years  old,  it  may  easily 
know  from  fifty  to  a  hundred  songs.  A  mother  should  develop 
this  taste,  gathering  the  chidren  about  the  piano  and  singing 
with  them.  A  good  collection  of  famous  songs  should  be 
purchased,  and  those  national  airs  learned  which  are  always 
valuable.  The  Scotch  ballads,  such  as  "Robin  Adair,"  "My 
Heart's  in  the  Highlands,"  and  "Annie  Laurie";  the  English 
and  Irish  songs,  "Gayly  the  Troubadour,"  "The  Brave  Old 
Oak,"  "Kathleen  Mavourneen";  the  German  "Lorelei"  and 
"The Watch  on  the  Rhine";  the  French  "Marseillaise,"  and  our 
own  patriotic  airs — should  all  be  familiar,  as  well  as  the  many 
beautiful  Christmas  songs,  and  the  stately  hymns  of  the  ages. 

General  Culture  in  Music. — Children  should  learn  to  under- 
stand and  appreciate  music  as  a  part  of  their  general  education. 
In  a  city  there  are  always  afternoon  concerts  to  be  attended  in 
the  winter  months,  especially  those  of  fine  orchestral  music 
intended  for  children.  The  life-story  of  each  of  the  great  com- 
posers should  be  known,  the  numbers  on  the  programme  ex- 
plained as  far  as  possible,  the  motif  made  clear,  and  the  child's 
ear  taught  to  follow  the  different  instruments.  Children  love 
such  music,  and  will  listen  delightedly  to  a  performance  that 
is  wholly  classic. 

Where  such  concerts  are  beyond  reach,  a  mother  should 
try  in  some  way  to  provide  a  substitute  for  them.  Even  in 
country  places  amateur  recitals  can  be  arranged  with  little 
trouble.  It  is  a  duty  we  owe  our  children  to  give  them  an  in- 
telligent knowledge  of  the  great  composers  and  their  works. 

Educational  Value  of  Drawing. — As  every  girl  was  once 
expected  to  play  the  piano,  so  ability  to  copy  landscapes  in  oil 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  177 

or  paint  flowers  in  water-color,  was  considered  imperative.  We 
understand  to-day  that  it  is  the  training  of  the  eye  and  hand 
that  is  essential,  not  the  mere  production  of  pictures.  Every 
child  is  trained  in  colors  and  their  values  in  the  kindergarten, 
and  in  our  public  schools  drawing  is  correctly  taught.  The 
children  have  cubes  and  cylinders,  flowers  and  vegetables,  and 
plaster  casts,  given  them  to  copy,  and  ah  this  is  most  helpful, 
but  the  parents'  interest  in  the  child's  drawings  is  necessary.  A 
frame  and  mat  of  medium  size  with  a  movable  back  may  be 
prepared  easily,  and  into  this  the  sketches  may  be  slipped  which 
a  child  makes  at  school,  each  one  in  turn  giving  place  to  a  better. 
Of  course  no  mother  will  be  so  unwise  as  to  hang  up  these  little 
pictures  on  the  parlor  wall  for  the  eyes  of  callers;  the  child's 
own  room,  or  better  still,  the  mother's,  is  where  they  belong. 
Appreciation,  not  compliment,  is  to  be  desired. 

Sketching  from  nature  in  the  summer  vacation  is  interesting, 
and  will  be  a  real  source  of  advancement  if  a  child  has  any 
aptitude  whatever.  Unlike  the  study  of  music,  there  need  be 
little  or  no  tedious  monotony  about  drawing.  But  the  same 
course  may  be  pursued  as  has  just  been  suggested — lay  the 
foundations  well,  let  the  child  advance  for  a  time,  and  then 
decide  whether  a  special  talent  calls  for  a  special  training.  One 
can  do  better  things  in  this  world  than  to  paint  crudely  on 
china  or  caricature  nature.  If  one  is  bom  an  artist,  let 
him  "thank  God  and  take  courage."  If  not,  let  him  be  content 
to  work  in  other  fields. 

Appreciation  of  Art. — But  there  is  a  general  training  in 
artistic  appreciation  quite  apart  from  production,  and  for  this 
a  child  needs  artistic  surroundings.  If  one  is  brought  up  in  a 
house  filled  with  gaudy  furniture,  poor  pictures,  and  tasteless 
ornaments,  it  is  doubtful  whether  years  will  eradicate  all  the 
mistaken  ideas  such  things  will  give.  It  is  not  necessary  that 
a  home  be  luxurious  to  be  artistic;  good  taste  is  needed  rather 
than  a  large  ouday  of  money.  Furniture  should  be  rather  sim- 
ple, colors  harmonious,  and  ornaments  refined,  to  produce  a 
beautiful  whole.  Especially  the  pictures  should  be  good.  Fine 
photographs  of  cathedrals,  or  statues  or  landscapes,  are  infinite- 
ly better    than  colored    prints  or  crayon    portraits  or  cheap 


178  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

woodcuts.  One  of  the  most  valuable  rooms  in  the  house  is 
the  attic,  where,  as  our  tastes  develop,  those  things  that  we 
have  outgrown  may  be  put  out  of  our  sight.  Every  house- 
keeper at  intervals  should  weed  her  collection  of  pictures;  if 
she  cannot  always  put  good  things  in  the  place  of  bad,  at  least 
the  bad  may  disappear.  The  same  principles  hold  true  in 
buying  books  for  children.  It  is  not  necessary  that  they 
should  be  illustrated,  but  if  they  are,  the  illustrations  should 
be  artistic. 

In  every  large  city  there  are  art-galleries  of  greater  or  less 
worth,  but  in  all  there  are  some  good  pictures;  take  the  child 
to  see  these  if  possible.  It  is  surprising  how  readily  it  will 
recognize  the  truth  of  a  reproduction,  and  with  a  little  instruc- 
tion will  learn  also  to  know  something  of  artistic  values.  Our 
public  schools  do  us  service  in  hanging  upon  their  walls 
copies  of  good  pictures. 

There  is  a  danger  in  ail  this  against  which  we  should  guard 
our  children.  The  emphasis  should  not  be  placed  upon  music 
and  art  to  the  exclusion  of  other  things.  There  is  a  demand 
in  the  world  for  the  practical  man  and  woman,  and  to  overtrain 
a  child  on  the  ornamental  side  of  his  nature  is  to  unfit  him  to 
cope  with  life's  chief  problems. 

^*  ^^  i^^ 

THE  CHILD'S  SUNDAY 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

IN  William  Black's  pathetic  story  "A  Daughter  of  Heth" 
there  is  a  vivid  description  of  a  Scotch  Sunday  in  the 
minister's  cold,  gray  house.  The  boys  and  girls  sit  in  the 
bare  parlor  studying  the  catechism,  and  the  oldest,  promoted 
to  Josephus,  has  wickedly  cut  out  the  inside  of  that  thick 
volume  and  converted  it  into  the  home  of  a  secular  white 
mouse.     No  one  who  has  read  the  book  can  forget  that  picture. 

The  Puritan's  Idea. — Our  own  Puritan  Sunday  is  not  left 
so  far  behind  us  but  that  our  fathers  and  mothers  can  tell  stories 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  179 

of  days  which  seemed  interminable  in  their  solemn  stillness. 
Charles  Dudley  Warner,  in  his  charming  book  of  New  England 
life  called  "Being  a  Boy,"  says:  "Long  before  sundown  the 
Sunday-school  book  had  been  read,  and  the  boy  sat  waiting 
in  the  house  with  great  impatience  the  signal  that  the  day  of 
rest  was  over.  When  the  sun  (and  it  never  moved  so  slow)  slid 
behind  the  hills,  the  effect  upon  the  watching  boy  was  like  a 
shock  from  an  electric  battery;  something  flashed  through  all 
his  limbs  and  set  them  in  motion,  and  no  play  ever  seemed  so 
sweet  to  him  as  that  between  sundown  and  dark  Sunday 
night." 

The  old  hymns  which  spoke  of  the  first  day  of  the  week  as 
an  "emblem  of  eternal  rest,"  and  of  heaven  as  a  place  "where 
Sabbaths  ne'er  shall  end,"  bring  back  to  the  mind  of  many  a 
man  and  woman  their  childish  dread  of  an  eternity  of  dull  doing 
nothing.  To  rest  and  to  be  bored  are  synonymous  in  the  mind 
of  a  child.  The  active  limbs  crave  movement,  not  relaxation, 
the  active  minds  employment,  not  repose.  The  question  is 
not,  how  shall  we  make  our  children's  Sunday  a  quiet  day,  so 
much  as  how  shall  we  make  it  a  busy  one. 

Making  a  Church  Attractive. — In  the  morning  there  is  al- 
ways the  church  service,  and  after  a  child  is  four  or  five  it  is 
old  enough  to  attend  this  regularly.  Many  parents  think 
Sunday-school  enough  for  children,  but,  as  a  superintendent 
of  a  quarter  of  a  century  said  recently,  "If  they  cannot  go  to 
both,  send  them  to  the  church  service  only.  Experience  has 
shown  me  that  if  they  go  to  the  Sunday-school  alone  they  grad- 
uate from  that  without  any  habit  of  church  attendance,  and 
they  never  form  one  which  is  worth  anything." 

Our  churches  to-day  with  their  stained  glass  and  flowers, 
their  organ  music,  choirs,  and  responses,  are  calculated  to 
attract  and  interest  children  rather  than  repel  them,  and  yet, 
especially  in  our  cities,  few  children  attend  church.  A  clergy- 
man with  an  audience  of  fifteen  hundred  recently  counted  just 
six  children  in  his  congregation,  and  this  with  a  service  lasting 
only  an  hour  and  a  half. 

Parents  seem  to  think  that  to  take  small  children  to  church 
is  a  cruelty  to  them  and  to  their  elders  as  well,  because  of  their 


180  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

restlessness.  A  little  ingenuity,  however,  can  prevent  a  child 
from  being  fatigued  or  uneasy.  If,  as  a  reward  for  attention 
during  the  early  part  of  the  service,  a  pad  and  pencil  are  given 
to  it  when  the  sermon  begins,  it  will  draw  quietly  for  that  half- 
hour.  A  paper  doll  or  two,  or  even  a  doll  twisted  up  out  of 
mother's  handkerchief,  may  not  be  amiss  for  a  very  small  child; 
but,  after  one  can  read,  the  hymn-book  will  prove  an  unfailing 
source  of  amusement  if  one  is  shown  how  to  find  the  hymns 
from  the  first  lines  given  in  the  back. 

The  day  will  come  before  the  parents  could  expect  it,  when, 
without  any  suggestion,  the  child  will  feel  ashamed  to  be  en- 
tertained in  church,  and  will  begin  to  listen  as  the  grown  people 
do.  If  it  is  questioned  when  it  comes  home,  and  praised  for 
having  caught  the  text  or  some  idea  in  the  sermon,  its  pride 
will  be  aroused,  and  the  problem  of  its  attention  in  church  will 
be  solved. 

Meeting  the  Sunday-school  Halfway. — As  to  Sunday-school, 
children  cannot  help  loving  that.  What  more  could  be  done 
to  make  it  delightful  than  has  been  done,  when  every  con- 
ceivable device  is  employed  for  their  pleasure  and  instruction  ? 
Yet  a  parent  should  not  depend  altogether  on  the  child's  teacher; 
the  lesson  should  be  explained  at  home  and  thoroughly  learned 
there. 

If  books  are  drawn  from  the  Sunday-school  library  the  list 
should  be  made  out  by  the  parent,  for  these  books  are  some- 
times the  poorest  of  literature,  full  of  pious  twaddle  or  senti- 
mental cant.  Fortunately  a  great  change  has  been  made  in  this 
respect  of  late  years,  and  libraries  are  being  placed  in  our 
Sunday-schools  made  up  of  books  of  standard  excellence. 

Dinner,  and  Afternoon  Occupations. — The  Sunday  dinner 
should  be  made  one  of  the  principal  delights  of  the  day  to  the 
children.  It  need  not  be  elaborate,  but  it  should  be  planned 
always  to  gratify  their  tastes,  especially  by  way  of  the  dessert. 
There  should  also  be  something  extra  in  the  shape  of  a  treat 
after  dinner,  either  of  candy  or  of  some  other  sweet,  to  mark  the 
day.  This  will  put  them  into  such  an  agreeable  frame  of  mind 
that  they  will  entertain  the  suggestion  willingly  that  their  parents 
should  be  given  a  rest  on  Sunday  afternoon. 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  181 

If  there  is  a  large  play-room  they  may  be  established  there 
with  their  every-day  clothes  on,  and  a  number  of  delightful  things 
to  do.  The  Sunday  playthings  will  be  taken  out  first;  each 
little  girl  may  have  her  doll,  an  especially  pretty  one  which  never 
appears  except  on  this  day.  The  boys  may  have  dissected  maps 
of  Palestine  to  put  together,  or  they  may  draw  maps  with  colored 
chalks  on  the  blackboard,  which  their  parents  are  to  see  after- 
ward. Then  there  may  be  mottoes  or  Bible  verses  to  be  pricked 
on  cardboard  or  sewTi  in  worsteds,  or,  most  delightful  of  all, 
done  in  old-fashioned  spatterwork.  The  children  may  also 
make  scrap-books  after  any  one  of  half  a  dozen  plans,  out  of 
religious  pictures  cut  out  of  papers  and  magazines  on  rainy 
week-days,  or  they  may  paint  those  already  made.  The  doors 
of  the  Sunday  library  may  be  unlocked,  and  the  books  reserved 
for  this  day  alone  will  seem  full  of  interest.  There  should  be 
a  good  "Life  of  Christ,"  a  collection  of  Bible  stories,  "Pilgrim's 
Progress,"  and  a  few  good  story-books.  The  older  children 
will  enjoy  a  simple  concordance  to  the  Bible,  and  may  vie  with 
each  other  in  wTiting  out  lists  of  birds  or  flowers  or  stones. 

The  Father's  Opportunity. — By  the  time  all  these  things  are 
exhausted,  and  the  little  limbs  become  restless  again,  the  naps 
of  the  older  people  will  be  over  and  there  will  be  an  opportunity 
for  noise.  If  the  children's  home  is  in  the  country  nothing 
can  fill  up  the  rest  of  the  afternoon  better  than  a  walk  with  their 
father.  Too  many  busy  men  might  be  described  by  their 
children  as  a  boy  is  said  to  have  described  his  father,  as  "the 
man  who  spends  Sunday  here."  Few  children  feel  as  welli 
acquainted  with  their  father  as  with  their  mother,  but  Sunday! 
afternoon  is  his  opportunity. 

But  if  there  are  only  crowded  pavements  about  the  home,  or 
if  the  day  is  stormy,  still  there  are  pleasant  things  to  do  indoors. 
There  may  be  a  Noah's  ark  under  the  dining-room  table  for 
four-footed  beasts  and  creeping  things.  Daniel  in  the  den  of 
lions,  or  Joseph  sold  by  his  brethren,  may  be  represented 
realistically.  Or  the  example  of  one  ingenious  father  may  be 
followed,  who  had  his  boys  sit  on  the  stairs  and  answer  questions 
of  Bible  history,  each  going  up  a  step  as  he  answered  correctly, 
or  down  one  as  he  failed. 


182  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

After  the  animal  spirits  of  the  children  are  somewhat  quieted 
there  is  always  that  pleasantest  of  hours,  the  twilight  time,  when 
the  family  circle  sing  together  their  best-loved  ballads  and 
hymns — a  time  no  child  can  ever  forget. 

Then  will  come  supper,  which  the  children  will  always  enjoy 
helping  prepare;  this  should  be  something  of  a  picnic  meal, 
charming  because  of  its  unlikeness  to  any  other  during  the  week. 
After  this  the  day  will  close  happily  enough,  especially  if  last 
of  all  there  is  a  story  w^hich  begins,  "When  I  was  your  age — ." 

(5*  tff^         ^* 

THE  CHILD  AND  NATURE 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

THERE  is  a  close  connection  between  children  and  things 
in  Nature,  so  close  that  they  see  and  hear  and  imagine 
more  than  those  who  have  grown  out  of  childhood.  The 
beauty  and  wonder  of  the  world  are  all  fresh  to  them,  and  every- 
thing they  see  is  a  marvel.  Their  quaint  sayings  are  a  perpetual 
delight  to  grown  people,  who  can  only  wonder  at  their  poetic 
interpretations  of  ordinary  things.  A  little  child  watching  the 
lightning  exclaimed,  "  Oh,  how  the  clouds  open  and  shut  their 
eyes!"  A  tiny  little  girl  stepping  softly  over  the  morning  lawn 
said,  as  she  brushed  the  dewdrops,  "  See,  the  grass  has  been 
crying!"  And  so  with  everything  from  a  silvery  cobweb  to  a 
mountain  top  in  the  clouds,  they  see  the  mystery. 

It  is  only  of  late  years  that  we  are  learning  to  cultivate  this 
sense  of  nearness  to  Nature,  and  in  the  last  decade  books  and 
essays  have  been  written  by  our  most  serious  men  on  themes 
which  would  have  amazed  our  forebears.  It  is  by  no  means 
a  trivial  thing  to  watch  the  ants  or  the  bees,  or  see  how  the 
leaves  are  fastened  to  the  twigs  on  the  trees,  or  to  observe  the 
feeding  of  baby  birds.  We  know  to-day  that  all  these  are  more 
important  than  some  things  which  seem  greater. 

Tlie  Child's  Interest  in  Nature. — In  the  country  it  is  a  simple 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  183 

matter  to  train  a  child's  powers  of  observation  and  teach  him 
to  take  an  interest  in  such  things.  From  the  time  when  he 
begins  to  understand  words  he  will  love  to  watch  the  cows  and 
the  chickens,  and  as  soon  as  he  can  creep  he  will  make  his  way 
to  the  flower-beds  and  snatch  at  the  blossoms.  And  yet  these 
things  are  only  superticial,  and  as  soon  as  he  becomes  better  ac- 
quainted with  them  he  may  lose  interest  unless  from  them,  step 
by  step,  he  is  led  to  others. 

A  good  way  to  begin  with  a  growing  child  is  to  show  him 
how  the  birds  build  their  nests,  and  where.  In  the  early  spring, 
before  the  leaves  have  well  grown,  he  will  spy  out  the  little  new 
homes  and  see  them  grow,  and  then  as  the  mother-bird  lays  her 
eggs  and  the  little  ones  hatch,  he  will  watch  still,  with  keenest 
interest,  till  after  they  have  learned  to  use  their  wings,  and 
have  gone  to  other  places.  He  will  see  their  ingenuity  in  building 
their  nests,  their  infinite  patience  in  raising  and  feeding  their 
abnormally  hungry  young,  and  he  will  try  and  be  patient  too, 
shamed,  if  only  a  little,  by  them;  he  will  learn  to  be  thoughtful, 
as  he  is  careful  not  to  frighten  the  mother-bird  as  she  broods, 
and  kind,  as  he  helps  them  find  food,  or  sets  out  a  drinking-pan 
for  them  near  by.  Nothing  is  more  valuable  to  a  child  than 
lessons  such  as  these,  and  he  is  always  ready  to  learn  them  if 
only  the  ideas  are  suggested  to  him  and  he  is  encouraged  to 
notice. 

Use  of  Books  and  Museums. — It  is  so,  too,  with  learning 
about  other  things.  There  are  simple  books  about  bees  which 
are  most  interesting,  and  others  about  ants  which  tell  most 
wonderful  things  of  their  intelligence;  there  are  books  about 
chickens  and  other  farm  animals  which  waken  an  interest  in 
their  funny  little  ways;  there  are  all  sorts  of  books  about  flowers 
and  trees  and  mosses  and  ferns.  Whenever  a  child  shows  the 
slightest  interest  in  any  one  thing  it  is  always  best  to  stimulate 
it  by  getting  one  or  more  of  such  books.  In  later  life  such  train- 
ing will  be  invaluable. 

In  a  city  it  is  not  always  so  easy  to  help  a  child  to  this  love 
of  Nature,  but  it  should  be  done,  in  spite  of  that.  Every  child 
loves  to  see  things  grow,  and  will  take  good  care  of  a  plant  which 
begins  in  a  seed  and  ends  in  a  flower,  watering  it  faithfully  and 


184  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

delighting  in  it  as  it  develops;  and  certainly  a  plant  or  two  any 
child  may  have.  Then  there  are  the  parks;  here  are  squirrels 
to  be  fed  and  tamed,  and  caged  animals  to  be  looked  at,  and 
little  insects  and  ants  run  all  over  the  grass.  "  How  I  do  love  a 
bug!"  sighed  a  little  city  girl  as  a  pretty  speckled  ladybug 
rested  a  moment  on  her  arm.  How  all  children  love  bugs,  and 
everything  alive,  if  only  their  attention  is  called  to  them  and 
their  real  beauty  and  charm  pointed  out. 

Pet  Animals  Useful. — Every  child  should  have  some  live 
pets  to  feed  and  love,  chickens,  or  rabbits,  or  white  rats  or  mice, 
or  pigeons,  or  anything  which  does  not  have  to  be  kept  shut  up 
unwillingly.  It  is  really  better  for  a  child  to  have  no  pets  than 
those  which  are  miserable  behind  bars,  for  keeping  them  there 
means  unkindness.  A  boy  has  no  right  to  a  caged  squirrel, 
but  a  white  rat,  which  will  doze  in  his  pocket  all  day  and  go  to 
bed  happily  in  a  box  at  night,  is  another  matter.  Rabbits, 
too,  or  guinea-pigs,  do  not  seem  to  mind  prisons,  and  they  make 
excellent  pets.  A  child  will  often  find  his  own  pets,  and  toads, 
even  snakes,  lizards,  and  such  things,  may  be  tamed  and  dearly 
loved  by  some  child. 

A  dog  is  one  of  the  things  that  seem  to  belong  to  a  boy  by 
birthright.  A  fox-terrier,  or  other  small,  loving  little  fellow  really 
adds  infinitely  to  a  boy's  enjoyment,  and  if  he  is  responsible  for 
its  care,  it  teaches  him  kindness.  It  is,  indeed,  really  essential 
in  training  children  by  giving  them  pets,  that  they  should  at 
least  in  part  take  care  of  them.  It  should  be  a  point  of  honor  with 
a  child  that  he  feeds  them,  gives  them  water,  cleans  their  cages 
if  they  are  kept  in  those,  and  makes  them  comfortable.  If 
he  is  allowed  to  shirk  this  duty,  half  the  value  of  the  pet  morally 
is  lost.  One  lesson  of  neglect,  and  consequent  suffering  to  the 
loved  little  friend,  is  something  to  be  remembered  all  one's  life 
with  pain,  but  it  is  one  worth  learning,  after  all.  To  be  careful 
and  conscientious  in  feeding  a  pet  means  a  great  deal  to  a  care- 
less boy  or  girl. 

Enjoyment  of  Nature. — As  we  grow  older  we  realize  that  as 
we  love  Nature  or  are  indifferent  to  it,  so  our  joy  in  life  is  in- 
creased or  diminished.  It  means  more  and  more  to  us  to  see  the 
beautiful  things  about  us,  if  only  we  are  trained  to  notice  them 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  185 

and  love  them  in  childhood.  Too  many  men  and  women  are 
blind  to  the  colors  of  sunsets  or  mountains  or  sea,  and  deaf  to 
bird  songs,  and  indifferent  to  flowers;  and  life  seems  sadder  by 
far  as  age  creeps  on  than  it  does  to  those  who  feel  that  Nature 
is  a  dear,  close  friend  to  them.  The  father  or  mother  who 
constantly  points  out  to  a  child  these  lovely  things  and  tells 
the  small,  intimate  facts  about  them,  and  creates  an  interest 
in  them,  is  giving  a  clue  to  what  later  on  will  mean  a  great 
blessing. 

^W  (^W  ^w 

TRAINING  A  CHILD  FOR  LIFE 

BY  CAROLINE  BENEDICT  BURRELL 

ONE  of  the  things  which  parents  too  often  forget  is  that, 
after  all,  it  is  not  the  training  of  a  child  in  itself  which 
is  the  important  thing,  it  is  the  preparation  for  adult  life.  It  is 
so  easy  to  think  only  of  the  health  of  the  growing  child,  his 
schooling,  his  pleasures,  his  gradual  development,  and  lose  sight 
entirely  of  the  fact  that  the  whole  thing  is  but  the  means  to  an 
end.  The  saying  that  one  sometimes  "cannot  see  the  wood  for 
the  trees,"  exactly  expresses  the  idea.  The  important  thing  is 
to  get  the  boy  or  girl  ready  to  live  his  or  her  own  life  when  the 
parental  rule  is  over. 

General  or  Special  Training? — For  this  reason  it  is  best  to 
decide  as  early  as  is  possible  whether  a  child  should  go  on  with 
the  common-school  education  or  be  fitted  for  college  or  pro- 
fessional life.  A  teacher  can  usually  help  one  greatly  in  making 
a  decision,  for  he  knows  better  even  than  the  child  the  bent  of 
its  mind,  and  his  constant  contact  with  growing  boys  and  girls 
gives  him  an  insight  a  parent,  with  limited  opportunities,  can- 
not have.  If  he  is  to  go  to  college,  then  he  must  begin  to  prepare 
for  it  early,  and  not  wait  till  the  end  of  high  school,  when  he 
will  perhaps  have  not  taken  exactly  the  required  studies  for 
passing. 

So  with  other  preparations  for  living.    If  the  social  life  of 


186  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

the  home  is  limited,  and  he  is  Hkely  to  go  into  some  larger  place, 
then  he  must  if  possible,  receive  some  fitting  for  that.  He  should 
from  time  to  time  go  out  and  see  a  little  of  the  world,  go  to  the 
nearest  city  and  learn  its  ways,  and  read  books  bearing  on  the 
trade  or  business  he  is  to  follow,  instead  of  waiting  till  the  end 
and  then  taking  a  sudden  plunge  for  which  he  is  unprepared. 
The  farmer's  boy  who  wants  to  go  to  town  to  make  his  fortune 
begins  with  a  tremendous  handicap  if  when  he  is  sixteen 
or  eighteen  he  is  thrown  for  the  first  time  into  its  life.  Long 
before  that  he  should  know  something  of  it  from  personal 
contact. 

Training  for  Citizenship. — The  training  for  citizenship 
should  not  be  forgotten  in  bringing  up  a  boy.  His  politics  he 
will  probably  inherit  from  his  father,  but  the  trend  of  his  ideas 
may  be  difi"erent;  in  any  case  the  broader  things  should  be  con- 
stantly put  before  him,  not  the  narrower;  he  should  not  hear 
the  success  of  any  party  spoken  of  as  of  such  importance  as 
that  of  good  government.  He  should  be  told  of  the  good  men, 
the  unselfish  men  in  power,  not  the  mean  ones;  he  should  hear 
"graft"  spoken  of  as  a  thing  to  be  despised,  and  public  honor 
as  something  to  be  held  sacred.  A  boy  is  naturally  idealistic, 
and  he  will  respond  to  such  suggestions  as  these  and  get  a  high 
ideal  of  political  life — a  far  better  thing  to  have  than  the  view 
too  many  men  hold  that  politics  are  "rotten"  all  through,  and 
a  vote  something  to  be  treated  with  indifference.  It  should 
never  be  thought  sufficient  to  let  a  boy  hear  the  bad  side  of  po- 
litical life;  he  should  hear  more  of  its  good  side,  and  learn  to  re- 
gard his  place  in  the  body  politic  as  one  of  importance;  he  should 
grow  up  to  hold  his  vote  as  a  high  thing,  and  to  strive  to  make 
the  government  better,  in  his  own  town  and  outside  it,  as  far 
as  his  influence  will  count. 

The  Training  of  a  Girl. — A  girl's  training  for  grown  life  must 
be  quite  dift'ercnt  from  a  boy's.  She  should  be  taught  from 
early  childhood  that  home-making  is  her  province,  and  that 
all  that  comes  within  that  she  must  know.  She  can  learn  to 
cook,  to  keep  the  house  in  order,  to  sew  and  mend,  and  to  care 
for  little  children.  When  she  grows  into  girlhood,  still  her 
education  along  these  lines  must  not  be  neglected,  but  even 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  187 

though  she  goes  to  college,  or  into  society,  she  should  still  think 
of  herself  as  one  to  make  a  home. 

It  may  be  that  she  will  never  marry,  but  there  are  few  wom- 
en who  are  not  called  on  at  one  time  or  another  to  help  in 
some  one  else's  home,  and  if  she  would  guard  against  that 
dreadful  thing,  a  lonely  old  age,  she  must  be  ready  to  step  into 
that  vacfcnt  place  in  a  father's,  a  brother's,  a  friend's  home, 
and  fill  it  as  though  it  were  her  very  own.  Fortunately,  most 
women  do  marry,  but  not  all  of  them  have  been  trained  to  be 
home-makers,  and  many  a  mother  is  blamed  by  her  daughter 
for  not  fitting  her  for  adult  life,  for  motherhood,  for  the  care 
of  a  family  and  its  responsibilities. 

Home-making  of  First  Importance. — Often  a  girl,  especially 
one  in  her  teens,  will  determine  on  a  "career"  for  herself,  in 
music,  painting,  teaching,  or  possibly  on  the  stage;  perhaps 
she  has  really  a  talent  for  something  of  the  kind,  one  her  parents 
feel  themselves  bound  to  develop  and  cultivate;  so  she  is  ex- 
cused from  home  duties  and  permitted  to  give  all  her  time  to 
fitting  herself  for  a  future  away  from  home.  But  this  is  all  a 
mistake,  one  some  one  must  pay  for  dearly  later  in  life.  Her 
talent  may  fail  her,  her  health  may  break  down,  competition 
may  be  too  keen  for  her  and  she  may  fall  out  of  the  ranks; 
then,  if  she  has  not  had  a  home  training,  she  is  unfitted  to  go 
into  her  father's  house,  or  that  of  any  one  else,  and  at  that  late 
day  take  up  a  life  of  happiness  there.  No  matter  how  great  a 
talent  may  appear  to  be,  nor  how  unnecessary  it  may  seem  to 
fit  a  girl  for  any  other  life  than  that  she  will  probably  have, 
still  she  should  receive  exactly  the  same  training  as  the  girl  who 
will  stay  at  home  till  she  marries  and  spend  the  rest  of  her  years 
in  bringing  up  children  and  keeping  house.  First  and  foremost 
in  a  girl's  training  should  be  the  thought  that  she  must  be  ready 
to  be  a  home-maker  before  she  is  anything  else. 

General  Rules. — Among  the  many  things  a  parent  must 
remember  in  bringing  up  children  and  fitting  them  for  adult 
life  some  stand  out  preeminently.  They  must  be  made  strong 
and  vigorous  in  body,  sane  of  mind,  broad  in  their  views,  well 
educated,  honest,  straightforward,  truthful,  and  unselfish; 
they  should  consider  life  as  a  great  opportunity,  not  a  certain 


188  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

number  of  years  to  be  spent  in  money  making  and  spending, 
and  in  pleasure  and  comfort.  For  this  outlook  they  should  have 
the  help  of  the  parental  living;  they  should  see  that  father  and 
mother  guide  their  lives  by  such  principles,  and  this  example 
should  be  enforced  by  direct  teaching  on  such  lines  till  the 
children  grasp  the  beauty  and  force  of  the  ideals.  If  only 
children  grow  up  into  men  and  women  who  are  the  best  possible, 
the  sanest,  the  noblest,  those  most  devoted  to  the  best  things, 
surely  parents  may  feel  that  their  own  lives  are  blessed. 

^V  tffm  t^i 

THE  HOMELIKE  HOME 

BY  HELEN  HUNT  JACKSON 

NOTHING  can  be  meaner  than  that  misery  should  love 
company.  But  the  proverb  is  founded  on  an  original 
principle  in  human  nature,  which  it  is  no  use  to  deny  and  hard 
work  to  conquer.  I  have  been  uneasily  conscious  of  this  sneak- 
ing sin  in  my  own  soul,  as  I  have  read  article  after  article  in 
the  English  newspapers  and  magazines  on  the  "decadence  of 
the  home  spirit  in  English  family  life,  as  seen  in  the  large 
towns  and  the  metropolis."  It  seems  that  the  English  are  as 
badly  off  as  we.  There,  also,  men  are  wide  awake  and  gay  at 
clubs  and  races,  and  sleepy  and  morose  in  their  own  houses; 
"sons  lead  lives  independent  of  their  fathers  and  apart  from 
their  sisters  and  mothers";  "girls  run  about  as  they  please, 
without  care  or  guidance."  This  state  of  things  is  "a spread- 
ing social  evil,"  and  men  are  at  their  wits'  end  to  know  what  is 
to  be  done  about  it.  They  are  ransacking  "national  character 
and  customs,  religion,  and  the  particular  tendency  of  the  pres- 
ent literary  and  scientific  thought,  and  the  teaching  and  preach- 
ing of  the  public  press,"  to  find  out  the  root  of  the  trouble. 
One  writer  ascribes  it  to  the  "exceeding  restlessness  and  the 
desire  to  be  doing  something  which  arc  predominant  and  in- 
domitable in  the  Anglo-Saxon  race";  another  to  the  passion 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  189 

which  almost  all  families  have  for  seeming  richer  and  more 
fashionable  than  their  means  will  allow.  In  these,  and  in  most 
of  their  other  theories,  they  are  only  working  round  and  round, 
as  doctors  so  often  do,  in  the  dreary  circle  of  symptomatic  re- 
sults, without  so  much  as  touching  or  perhaps  suspecting  their 
real  center.  How  many  people  are  blistered  for  spinal  disease, 
or  blanketed  for  rheumatism,  when  the  real  trouble  is  a  little 
fiery  spot  of  inflammation  in  the  lining  of  the  stomach!  and  all 
these  difficulties  in  the  outworks  are  merely  the  creaking  of  the 
machinery,  because  the  central  engine  does  not  work  properly. 
Blisters  and  blankets  may  go  on  for  seventy  years  coddling  the 
poor  victim;  but  he  will  stay  ill  to  the  last  if  his  stomach  be 
not  set  right. 

There  is  a  close  likeness  between  the  doctor's  high-sounding 
list  of  remote  symptoms,  which  he  is  treating  as  primary  dis- 
eases, and  the  hue  and  outcry  about  the  decadence  of  the  home 
spirit,  the  prevalence  of  excessive  and  improper  amusements, 
club-houses,  billiard-rooms,  theaters,  and  so  forth,  which  are 
"the  banes  of  homes." 

The  trouble  is  in  the  homes.     Homes  are  stupid,  homes  are  , 
dreary,  homes  are  insufferable.     If  one  can  be  pardoned  for  the  ! 
Irishism  of  such  a  saying,  homes  are  their  own  worst  "banes."  ' 
If  homes  were  what  they  should  be,  nothing  under  heaven 
could  be  invented  which  could  be  bane  to  them,  which  would 
do  more  than  serve  as  useful  foil  to  set  off  their  better  cheer, 
their  pleasanter  ways,  their  wholesomer  joys. 

Whose  fault  is  it  that  they  are  not  so?  Fault  is  a  heaxy 
word.  It  includes  generations  in  its  pitiless  entail.  Sufficient 
for  the  day  is  the  evil  thereof,  is  but  one  side  of  the  truth.  No 
day  is  sufficient  unto  the  evil  thereof,  is  the  other.  Each  day 
has  to  bear  burdens  passed  down  from  so  many  other  days; 
each  person  has  to  bear  burdens  so  complicated,  so  interwoven 
with  the  burdens  of  others;  each  person's  fault  is  so  fevered 
and  swollen  by  faults  of  others,  that  there  is  no  disentangling 
the  question  of  responsibility.  Everything  is  everybody's  fault 
is  the  simplest  and  fairest  way  of  putting  it.  It  is  everybody's 
fault  that  the  average  home  is  stupid,  dreary,  insufferable — a 
place  from  which  fathers  fly  to  clubs,  boys  and  girls  to  streets. 


190  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

But  when  we  ask  who  can  do  most  to  remedy  this — in  whose 
hands  it  most  hes  to  fight  the  fight  against  the  tendencies  to 
monotony,  stupidity,  and  instability  which  are  inherent  in 
human  nature — then  the  answer  is  clear  and  loud.  It  is  the 
work  of  women;  this  is  the  true  mission  of  women,  their  "right" 
divine  and  unquestionable,  and  including  most  emphatically 
the  "right  to  labor." 

To  create  and  sustain  the  atmosphere  of  a  home — it  is  easily 
said  in  a  very  few  words;  but  how  many  women  have  done  it? 
How  many  women  can  say  to  themselves  or  others  that  this  is 
their  aim?  To  keep  house  well  women  often  say  they  desire. 
But  keeping  house  well  is  another  affair — I  had  almost  said  it 
has  nothing  to  do  with  creating  a  home.  That  is  not  true,  of 
course;  comfortable  living,  as  regards  food  and  fire  and  clothes, 
can  do  much  to  help  on  a  home.  Nevertheless,  with  one  ex- 
ception, the  best  homes  I  have  ever  seen  were  in  houses  which 
were  not  especially  well  kept;  and  the  very  worst  I  have  ever 
known  w^re  presided  (I  mean  twannized)  over  by  "perfect 
housekeepers." 

All  creators  are  single-aimed.  Never  will  the  painter,  sculp- 
tor, writer,  lose  sight  of  his  art.  Even  in  the  intervals  of  rest 
and  diversion  which  are  necessary  to  his  health  and  growth, 
everything  he  sees  ministers  to  his  passion.  Consciously  or 
unconsciously,  he  makes  each  shape,  color,  incident,  his  own; 
sooner  or  later  it  will  enter  into  his  work. 

So  it  must  be  with  the  woman  who  will  create  a  home. 
There  is  an  evil  fashion  of  speech  which  says  it  is  a  narrowing 
and  narrow  life  that  a  woman  leads  who  cares  only,  works  only 
for  her  husband  and  children;  that  a  higher,  more  imperative 
thing  is  that  she  herself  be  developed  to  her  utmost.  Even  so 
clear  and  strong  a  writer  as  Frances  Cobbe,  in  her  otherwise 
admirable  essay  on  the  "Final  Cause  of  Woman,"  falls  into 
this  shallowness  of  words,  and  speaks  of  women  who  live  solely 
for  their  families  as  "adjectives." 

In  the  family  relation  so  many  women  are  nothing  more,  so 
many  women  become  even  less,  that  human  conception  may 
perhaps  be  forgiven  for  losing  sight  of  the  truth,  the  ideal.  Yet 
in  woman  it  is  hard  to  forgive  it.     Thinking  clearly,  she  should 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  191 

see  that  a  creator  can  never  be  an  adjective;  and  that  a  woman 
who  creates  and  sustains  a  home,  and  under  whose  hands 
children  grow  up  to  be  strong  and  pure  men  and  women,  is  a 
creator,  second  only  to  God. 

Before  she  can  do  this,  she  must  have  development;  in  and 
by  the  doing  of  this  comes  constant  development;  the  higher 
her  development,  the  more  perfect  her  work;  the  instant  her 
own  development  is  arrested,  her  creative  power  stops.  All 
science,  all  art,  all  religion,  all  experience  of  life,  all  knowledge 
of  men — will  help  her;  the  stars  in  their  courses  can  be  won  to 
fight  for  her.  Could  she  attain  the  utmost  of  knowledge,  could 
she  have  all  possible  human  genius,  it  would  be  none  too  much. 
Reverence  holds  its  breath  and  goes  softly,  perceiving  what  it 
is  in  this  woman's  power  to  do;  with  what  divine  patience, 
steadfastness,  and  inspiration  she  must  work. 

Into  the  home  she  will  create,  monotony,  stupidity,  antag- 
onisms cannot  come.  Her  foresight  will  provide  occupations 
and  amusements;  her  loving  and  alert  diplomacy  will  fend  off 
disputes.  Unconsciously,  ever}^  member  of  her  family  will  be 
as  clay  in  her  hands.  I\Iore  anxiously  than  any  statesman  will 
she  meditate  on  the  wisdom  of  each  measure,  the  bearing  of 
each  word.  The  least  possible  governing  which  is  compatible 
with  order  will  be  her  first  principle;  her  second,  the  greatest 
possible  influence  which  is  compatible  with  the  growth  of  indi- 
\'iduality.  Will  the  woman  whose  brain  and  heart  are  working 
these  problems,  as  applied  to  a  household,  be  an  adjective?  be 
idle? 

She  will  be  no  more  an  adjective  than  the  sun  is  an  adjec- 
tive in  the  solar  system;  no  more  idle  than  nature  is  idle.  She 
will  be  perplexed;  she  will  be  weary;  she  will  be  disheartened, 
sometimes.  All  creators,  save  One,  have  known  these  pains 
and  grown  strong  by  them.  But  she  will  never  withdraw  her 
hand  for  one  instant.  Delays  and  failures  will  only  set  her  to 
casting  about  for  new  instrumentalities.  She  will  press  all 
things  into  her  service.  She  will  master  sciences,  that  her 
boys'  evenings  need  not  be  dull.  She  will  be  worldly  wise,  and 
render  to  Csesar  his  dues,  that  her  husband  and  daughters  may 
have  her  by  their  side  in  all  their  pleasures.      She  will  invent, 


192  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

she  will  surprise,  she  will  forestall,  she  will  remember,  she  will 
laugh,  she  will  listen,  she  will  be  young,  she  will  be  old,  and 
she  will  be  three  times  loving,  loving,  loving. 

This  is  too  hard?  There  is  the  house  to  be  kept?  And 
there  are  poverty  and  sickness,  and  there  is  not  time  ? 

Yes,  it  is  hard.  And  there  is  the  house  to  be  kept;  and 
there  are  poverty  and  sickness;  but,  God  be  praised,  there  is 
time.  A  minute  is  time.  In  one  minute  many  live  the  essence 
of  all.  I  have  seen  a  beggar  woman  make  half  an  hour  of 
home  on  a  doorstep,  with  a  basket  of  broken  meat!  And  the 
most  perfect  home  I  ever  saw  was  in  a  little  house  into  the 
sweet  incense  of  whose  fires  went  no  costly  things.  A  thou- 
sand dollars  served  for  a  year's  living  of  father,  mother,  and 
three  children.  But  the  mother  was  a  creator  of  a  home;  her 
relation  with  her  children  was  the  most  beautiful  I  have  ever 
seen;  even  a  dull  and  commonplace  man  was  lifted  up  and  ena- 
bled to  do  good  work  for  souls,  by  the  atmosphere  which  this 
woman  created;  every  inmate  of  her  house  involuntarily  looked 
into  her  face  for  the  keynote  of  the  day;  and  it  always  rang 
clear.  From  the  rosebud  or  clover-leaf  which,  in  spite  of  her 
hard  housework,  she  always  found  time  to  put  by  our  plates  at 
breakfast,  down  to  the  essay  or  story  she  had  on  hand  to  be 
read  or  discussed  in  the  evening,  there  was  no  intermission  of 
her  influence.  She  has  always  been  and  always  will  be  my 
ideal  of  a  mother,  wife,  home-maker.  If  to  her  quick  brain, 
loving  heart,  and  exquisite  tact  had  been  added  the  appliances 
of  wealth  and  the  enlargements  of  a  wider  culture,  hers  would 
have  been  absolutely  the  ideal  home.  As  it  was,  it  was  the 
best  I  have  ever  seen.  It  is  more  than  twenty  years  since  I 
crossed  its  threshold.  I  do  not  know  whether  she  is  living  or 
not.  But,  as  I  see  house  after  house  in  which  fathers  and 
mothers  and  children  are  dragging  out  their  lives  in  a  hap- 
hazard alternation  of  listless  routine  and  unpleasant  collision,  I 
always  think  with  a  sigh  of  that  poor  little  cottage  by  the  sea- 
shore, and  of  the  woman  who  was  "the  light  thereof";  and  I 
find  in  the  faces  of  many  men  and  children,  as  plainly  written 
and  as  sad  to  see  as  in  the  newspaper  columns  of  "Personals," 
"Wanted— a  home." 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  193 

THE  GIRL  OF  FIFTEEN 

BY  MARGARET  E.   SANGSTER 

WINSOME  and  clever,  or  thoughtful  and  brooding,  merry 
or  quiet,  according  to  her  temperament,  the  girl  of  fifteen 
is  in  some  phases  a  problem  to  her  mother,  and  in  many  ways  a 
puzzle  to  herself.  She  is  no  longer  a  child  to  play  freely  with 
her  mates  in  the  games  which  delighted  her  at  ten,  and  she  is 
not  yet  a  young  woman,  though  she  may  have  womanly  tastes 
and  aspirations.  On  certain  subjects,  as  for  instance  her  dress, 
her  amusements,  her  studies,  she  has  very  decided  views,  and 
she  is  daily  gaining  in  breadth  and  independence,  though  still 
under  her  mother's  wing,  and  accustomed  to  refer  all  questions 
at  issue  to  her  for  settlement  as  the  final  authority.  Just  now 
she  needs  more  than  ever  the  mother's  loving  guardianship 
and  the  wise  mother  keeps  her  daughter  very  close  to  her  side 
in  confidential  affection,  in  daily  intercourse,  in  the  purest  and 
most  intimate  association.  For  the  little  woman  is  passing 
through  a  transitional  period  in  her  development,  and  she  can 
nowhere  else  be  as  safe  and  as  sheltered  as  in  the  sweet  seclu- 
sion of  home.  Should  the  mother  decide  to  send  her  away  to 
school,  then  the  choice  should  be  a  matter  of  careful  thought, 
and  personal  investigation — the  atmosphere  of  the  institution, 
the  character  of  the  teachers,  and  the  social  plane  of  the  pupils 
being  all  passed  under  review.  The  associations  formed  in 
school  may  be  of  lifelong  tenure,  and  it  is  well  that  a  young 
girl's  friendships  be  made  among  those  who  are  the  product  of 
refined  homes. 

At  fifteen  a  young  girl  is  full  of  enthusiasm.  She  adores 
her  favorite  teacher;  she  worships  the  classmate  who  seems 
to  her  ideally  beautiful  and  faultless;  she  makes  any  sacrifice 
for  her  chum,  and  chameleon-like,  unless  she  be  of  very  strongly 
marked  individuality,  she  takes  on  the  color,  absorbs  the  man- 
ner, and  reflects  the  opinions  of  her  companions. 

She  expresses  herself  in  superlatives,  and  exaggerates  both 
likes  and  dislikes.    It  is  far  more  important  that  a  girl  at  this 


194  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

formative  stage  of  her  being  shall  be  thrown  with  high-minded 
and  gracious-mannered  persons,  than  that  she  shall  be  thor- 
oughly drilled  in  Latin  and  mathematics,  though  this  too  is 
a  worth-while  thing. 

She  resents  the  curb,  and  must  be  taught  by  example  rather 
than  by  dictation.  Her  physical  life  is  subject  to  well-known 
alternations  and  perils,  and  if  she  is  to  become  physically  a 
strong,  well-poised  woman,  with  firm  health  and  serene  vigor, 
she  must  now  have  the  good  food,  the  sound,  abundant  sleep,  and 
the  wholesome  outdoor  exercise  which  build  up  the  body,  and 
make  it  a  fit  instrument  of  a  noble  mind.  .  .  . 

Fifteen  takes  its  perplexities  very  seriously  and  grieves 
without  restraint  over  its  sorrows.  Never  was  there  a  greater 
mistake  than  to  suppose  that  early  girlhood  is  a  season  of  un- 
alloyed pleasure.  To  many  girls  it  is  a  time  of  restlessness,  of 
quicksands  and  reefs,  of  romantic  dreams  which  bring  only  dis- 
appointments, and  of  poignant  pain  to  sensitive  natures  which 
are  wounded  because  misunderstood. 

The  reserves  of  girlhood  are  an  unfathomed  sea.  For  no 
reason  which  she  can  explain,  the  young  girl  often  withholds 
her  thoughts  and  fancies  from  her  parents,  and  folds  herself  in 
secrecy,  like  a  rosebud  not  yet  ready  to  bloom.  It  may  be  that 
her  mother,  who  is  her  natural  confidante,  has  been  so  busy 
and  so  cumbered  with  outside  service  in  the  church  and  in 
society,  that  she  has  lost  her  hold  upon  her  child,  and  when 
this  occurs  it  is  a  deplorable  misfortune.  For  a  daughter's  first 
refuge  should  be  her  mother,  her  next  best  shield  her  father. 
Now  and  then  it  happens  that  a  much-occupied  father  under- 
stands his  little  girl  in  a  subtle  way,  uncomprehended  by  her 
mother.  Her  inexperience  needs  a  guide,  and  she  must  be 
piloted  over  and  across  the  perils  which  lie  between  her  and 
the  happy  days  awaiting  her  further  on.  The  two  watchwords 
of  her  life  are  sympathy  and  freedom,  and  she  needs  both  in 
equal  measure. 

Not  every  young  girl  can  arrange  her  life  as  she  desires. 
With  severe  endeavor  and  splendid  self-denial,  some  daugh- 
ters of  the  mountain  farm  and  of  the  city  tenement  secure  a 
college  education;  but  others  must  early  begin  to  assist  their 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  195 

families  by  their  o\\ti  toil.  In  the  great  shops  of  our  cities,  and 
in  every  factory  to^\^l,  scores  and  hundreds  of  very  young  girls 
go  to  their  daily  avocations,  and  bring  home  their  weekly 
stipend  to  help  clothe  and  feed  the  younger  children,  and  to 
ease  the  load  which  the  hard-working  parents  carry.  The 
accidents  of  circumstances  do  not  materially  affect  the  char- 
acter of  the  girl  of  fifteen,  except  that  outside  life  and  hard 
work  as  a  rule  mature  her  early.  . 

A  room  of  her  very  own,  as  tastefully  appointed  and  com- 
fortably furnished  as  possible,  should  be  every  young  girl's 
retreat.  Here  she  may  enjoy  the  half  hours  for  devotion  which 
tend  to  the  soul's  growth,  and  may  read  and  study  and  entertain 
a  girl  friend,  and  be  as  independent  of  the  rest  of  the  family 
as  she  pleases.  In  this,  her  den,  her  nook,  her  bower,  her 
special  fancies  may  be  indulged  in,  and  her  individuality  find  fit 
expression. 

If  a  girl  admits  me  to  her  room,  I  need  no  other  interpreter 
of  her  character.  Her  daintiness,  her  delicacy,  her  fondness 
for  art,  her  little  fads  and  caprices  are  here  revealed.  Does  she 
care  for  athletics  ? — her  room  tells  the  story.  Her  mandolin  or 
banjo,  her  books  on  the  swinging  shelf,  her  desk,  her  dressing- 
table  explain  her,  for  wherever  we  live  we  set  our  seal,  and  this 
unconsciously.  The  untidy  girl  keeps  her  room  in  chaos  and 
confusion:  it  looks  as  if  swept  by  a  small  cyclone.  The  orderly 
and  fastidious  girl  has  a  place  for  each  belonging  and  puts  it 
there  without  effort  and  without  fuss.  As  for  the  room  itself, 
it  may  be  plain  to  bareness,  or  beautifully  luxurious;  a  cell  or 
a  shrine,  it  owes  its  grace  or  lack  of  charm  more  to  its  occupant 
than  to  its  paper  and  paint,  its  bed  and  bureau,  its  rug  and 
chairs. 

When  a  mother  cannot  give  her  young  daughter  a  whole 
room  for  herself,  she  should  at  least  contrive  for  her  a  little 
sanctuary,  by  means  of  screens  and  curtains.  Some  one  spot 
where  she  may  rest  the  sole  of  her  foot  should  belong  to  the 
young  girl,  if  only  a  corner  under  the  stairs,  or  a  good-sized 
closet  with  a  window  and  door. 

With  its  delicate  papering  of  rose-pink  or  robin's-egg  blue, 
its  furnishings  in  white,  its  rocking-chair,  its  table,  its  sheer 


196  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

muslin  draperies,  its  simple  engravings  on  the  wall,  its  cups 
and  saucers  that  she  may  give  her  chum  a  cup  of  tea  or  choco- 
late, the  girl's  room  need  cost  little  in  money.  All  the  good 
things  in  this  world  do  not  depend  on  gold  and  silver,  nor  need 
we  resign  our  right  to  beautiful  surroundings  because  we  must 
keep  a  strict  rein  upon  expenditure,  and  have  an  eye  to  ways 
and  means.  Unless  a  young  woman  learns  early  to  make  the 
most  of  her  little  in  hand,  she  will  never  be  successful  when 
she  has  a  large  sum  in  her  stewardship. 

And  this  leads  me  to  plead  for  my  little  Jeanie,  my  Gladys, 
my  May,  my  Rosamond,  whatever  dear  and  lovely  name  this 
maid  of  fifteen  summers  bears,  that  she  may  have  an  allowance 
of  her  own,  as  well  as  a  room  of  her  own.  Her  little  purse 
should  have  its  regularly  bestowed  sum,  given  her  weekly, 
monthly,  or  quarterly,  and  from  it  she  should  pay  her  legiti- 
mate personal  expenses.  Mothers  sometimes  give  young  girls 
a  sufficient  amount  to  buy  their  own  wardrobes,  and  to  cover 
every  item  of  their  journeying  to  and  fro,  of  their  luxuries  and 
their  charities.  Jeanie  should  keep  accounts;  she  should  not 
run  in  debt;  she  should  have  a  little  margin;  she  should  learn 
judicious  saving,  as  well  as  careful  spending,  and  at  fifteen  it 
should  be  her  custom  to  lay  aside  a  portion  of  her  means  for 
the  Lord's  treasury. 

One  final  word.  A  sensitive  girl  often  suffers  from  the 
teasing  proclivities  of  her  brothers,  and  from  the  thoughtless 
despotism  of  her  elder  sisters.  She  has  her  rights  and  her 
privileges,  and  among  them  is  immunity  from  needless  jesting 
and  careless  tyranny.  Nor  ought  a  young  girl  to  be  reproved 
in  public  nor  held  up  to  ridicule,  nor  snubbed  by  any  incivility. 
She  is  an  unformed  being  to  some  extent,  and  to  mar  her  in 
the  making  is  exceedingly  shortsighted  and  unkind.  Exact 
from  her  the  performance  of  her  regular  daily  duties,  in  the 
taskwork  of  the  school  and  in  the  routine  of  the  home,  but  in- 
clude her  in  the  simple  household  pleasures,  and  surround  her 
with  the  protection  of  considerate  politeness.  If  she  is  brusque, 
be  the  more  delicately  urbane.  If  she  is  wilful,  treat  her  with 
gentleness.  If  she  is  disturbed  and  disquieted,  find  out  the 
cause.     Be  true  to  her,  and  expect  from  her  the  truth.    Teach 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  197 

her  to  honor  her  body  and  to  conserve  her  health.     And  above 
all  things  else  love  her,  and  let  her  feel  herself  beloved. 

^9*  ^3*  ^^ 

SPEAKING  AND  ITS  FAULTS 

ONE  may  read  in  the  literature  devoted  to  the  mental 
growth  and  to  the  training  of  children  much  learned 
discussion  of  the  development  of  speech,  and  the  reasons  for 
this  and  that.  The  most  prominent  fact  is  that  the  baby's  first 
efforts  at  talking  are  imitative.  It  calls  the  cow  "moo-moo," 
and  cries  "ting-a-ling"  when  it  hears  the  bells  ring.  When  it 
comes  to  forming  words,  which  it  overhears,  or  is  regularly 
taught,  it  copies  them  not  only  in  the  language  of  its  teachers, 
but  in  the  form,  good  or  bad,  in  which  they  pronounce  and  use 
them.  But  its  organs  of  speech  are  a  delicate  and  strange 
instrument,  which  it  requires  much  practice  to  use  quickly  and 
correctly.  Many  of  the  sounds  of  letters,  especially  some  of 
the  consonants,  are  very  difficult  for  the  baby's  tongue,  and  it 
often  happens  that  even  after  it  has  learned  many  words,  and 
knows  how  to  form  sentences,  what  it  says  is  almost  unin- 
telligible to  a  stranger.  These  mispronunciations  can  hardly 
be  helped  at  first,  and  are  sometimes  most  amusing,  so  thought- 
less parents  indulge  them,  and  prolong  their  funny  period  (they 
are,  indeed,  largely  responsible  for  it)  by  themselves  speaking 
in  the  mangled  nonsense  called  "baby  talk."  The  mother's 
impulse  is  to  make  her  speech  show  the  tenderness  of  her  love 
and  delight;  but  she  can  do  this  quite  sufficiently  by  tone  and 
look,  without  sacrificing  her  darling's  lessons  in  language. 
No  one  more  than  she  wishes  for  the  time  when  the  little 
one  can  answer  her,  and  they  can  really  converse.  Will  she 
not  enjoy  it  better  if,  as  fast  as  he  gets  command  of  his  voice, 
he  articulates  as  distinctly  and  pronounces  as  correctly  as  he  can 
the  words  he  uses?  Baby  talk  is  a  mistake.  Let  the  little 
prattler  learn  good  speech  while  he  is  about  it — words  fairly 
pronounced  and  accented,  and  sentences  properly  composed. 
Later,  constant  watchfulness  is  necessary,  not  only  of  the  child, 


198  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

but  of  himself,  by  the  parent,  against  fauhs  he  does  not  want  to 
hear  imitated.  Children  not  only  copy  but  invent  tricks  and 
objectionable  habits  of  speaking,  for  they  love  to  play  with 
their  new  accomplishment.  They  mumble  their  words,  or 
drawl,  or  stammer,  or  hesitate,  with  a  sucked-in  a-a-h  between 
every  phrase  or  two.  Contortions  of  the  face,  and  particularly 
of  the  mouth,  in  speaking,  should  be  corrected.  The  voice 
itself  ought  to  be  looked  after.  Yelling  and  screeching  may 
strain  the  vocal  cords,  and  permanently  ruin  what  would  other- 
wise be  a  pleasing  voice.  Gentle,  nicely  modulated,  yet  full 
tones  add  greatly  to  a  person's  agreeableness,  especially  in 
women;  and  girls  ought  to  be  especially  careful  not  to  spoil 
their  naturally  good  gifts  in  this  direction.  But  these  faults 
will  least  often  make  their  appearance  in  those  who  hear  correct 
speech  and  pleasant  tones  at  home. 

%^%  %^i  (,5% 

ASSOCIATION  OF  MOTHER  AND  SONS 

MRS.  POTTER  PALMER,  of  Chicago,  one  of  the  fore- 
most women  of  the  Middle  West,  feels  that  the  close 
association  between  mother  and  sons  which  she  has  observed 
prevailing  in  England  ought  to  be  more  frequent  here. 

"  I  have  always  had  a  theory,"  Mrs.  Palmer  told  some  ladies, 
"that  where  a  boy  keeps  himself  aloof  from  his  mother  and  his 
sisters,  he  loses  many  manly  qualities  and  fails  to  have  the 
proper  understanding  and  respect  for  womanhood.  In  his 
association  with  his  owti  sex,  the  boy  naturally  cultivates  rough- 
ness. The  animal  is  very  strongly  developed  in  him,  and  there 
is  nothing  that  will  refine  this  animal  spirit  so  well  as  the  in- 
fluence of  a  good  mother  and  sister.  The  influence  is  best 
strengthened  by  the  mother  making  herself  an  important  part 
of  the  boy's  actual  life.  I  of  course  do  not  believe  in  molly- 
coddle boys  any  more  than  any  other  sensible  woman  does.  I 
do  not  like  a  girlish  boy,  but  I  do  admire  a  boy  who  is  deferential 
and  thoughtful  of  every  woman;  a  boy  who  knows  when  to 
remove  his  hat,  when  to  step  forward  and  help  a  woman,  when 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  199 

to  see  that  his  strength  is  needed  to  take  his  mother  and  his 
sisters  and  all  other  women  over  the  rough  places  which  they 
are  unfitted  to  travel  alone. 

"A  mother  who  encourages  her  boy  to  talk  freely  to  her  about 
all  that  comes  up  in  his  daily  life,  is  certain  to  find  that  he  be- 
comes deferential  in  his  conversation.  He  will  learn  what 
wounds  her,  and  try  to  avoid  it.  He  will  gradually  see  where 
she  really  needs  his  assistance,  and  he  will  be  glad  to  give  it, 
because  it  makes  him  a  protector.  When  he  has  the  thought 
well  imbedded  in  his  mind  that  he  is  a  protector  of  his  mother, 
the  other  thought  will  follow  that  he  must  always  be  a  pro- 
tector of  other  women." 

^W  %^  iff^ 

TWO  SORTS  OF  IMPERTINENCE 

YOUTHFUL  impertinence  is  a  fault  for  which  parents 
should  blame  themselves  mainly,  for  it  rarely  appears 
in  a  household  where  mutual  respect  and  politeness  prevail. 
Little  children  may,  it  is  true,  say  very  saucy  things,  yet  quite 
innocently.  Gentle  reproof,  and  an  explanation  of  how  such 
words  hurt  mamm.a's  feelings,  and  therefore  are  naughty,  will 
prevent  their  repetition,  so  that,  with  watchfulness,  a  child  will 
no  more  think  of  impudence  toward  the  elders  of  its  acquain- 
tance than  of  stealing  their  property.  Note,  however,  that  in 
such  families  the  elders  are  equally  free  from  impertinence  to 
the  youngsters.  This,  like  so  many  others  of  the  rules  govern- 
ing relations  between  members  of  the  same  household,  is  a  rule 
that  works  both  ways  or  not  at  all.  If,  on  the  other  hand,  a 
careless  father  looks  upon  childish  "  sauce"  as  cute  and  laughable 
and  encourages  rather  than  checks  it,  he  must  not  be  surprised 
at  mortifying  disrespect  and  impudence  in  later  years.  As  for 
the  shocking  rudeness  displayed  back  and  forth  in  many  an 
ill-regulated  family,  a  single  hearing  will  be  enough  to  warn 
any  thoughtful  young  parent  against  letting  such  a  state  of 
things  grow  up  in  his  home! 

Another  kind  of  impertinence,  by  young  people  to  each 


200  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

other,  is  a  dangerous  habit  of  speech  to  fall  into,  since  it  is 
liable  to  cause  distress  and  harm  which  are  not  only  needless 
but  are  not  really  intended.  Girls  are  more  guilty  of  this  than 
boys — perhaps  because  they  feel  denied  the  use  of  rougher 
methods — yet  seem  prompted  in  most  cases  not  by  a  Teally 
impudent  or  cruel  spirit  so  much  as  by  a  fondness  for  saying 
"smart"  things,  and  seeing  the  victim  squirm.  To  be  witty 
in  a  personal  way,  yet  not  sting,  is  a  fine  art  hardly  to  be  ex- 
pected of  a  school-girl;  and  her  attempts  often  do  sting  sorely. 
It  is  bad  enough  when  she  hits  at  some  sensitive  companion 
of  her  own  sex  and  class;  it  is  worse  when  she  darts  at  an  un- 
offending lad  some  acid  sarcasm  as  unjust  as  it  is  humiliating. 
If  he  is  a  gentleman  the  boy  has  no  means  of  reply  or  defense 
in  kind,  and  the  hurt  may  remain  long,  or  a  good  friendship  be 
killed  on  the  spot.  Perhaps  the  girl  did  not  mean  what  she 
said,  or  intend  it  to  be  taken  seriously,  and  is  both  surprised 
and  saddened  (in  secret)  by  the  result  of  her  reckless  fling.  If 
her  suffering  teaches  her  that  a  lady  will  treat  her  companions 
with  respect  in  the  midst  of  the  gayest  badinage,  and  keep  her 
tongue  within  kind  as  well  as  polite  limits,  she  will  gain  a  lesson 
worth  its  cost.  If  not,  she  is  likely  to  become  that  most  dis- 
agreeable of  women  and  dreadful  of  wives — the  termagant. 

t^*  t,5*  (f?* 

SIMPLIFYING  HOUSEWORK 

BY    MARION  HARLAND 

BY  way  of  establishing  a  frank  and  friendly  understanding 
between  writer  and  reader,  we  will  admit,  at  the  begin- 
ning of  our  talk,  that  nothing  can  make  American  housekeeping 
easy.  At  the  same  time,  it  is  comforting  to  bear  in  mind  that 
the  easiest  things  are  seldom  the  best  things.  There  are 
many  reasons  why  the  woman  who  "runs  a  house"  in  this  land 
and  at  this  day  should  have  more  and  severer  duties  to  perform 
than  a  housekeeper  in  the  same  station,  and  with  the  same 
means,  in  Great  Britain,  or  on  the  continent  of  Europe.    It 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  201 

may  reconcile  our  housewife  to  her  lot  and  clear  away  a  diffi- 
culty or  two  if  we  consider  a  few  of  these  reasons. 

The  newness  of  our  nation  runs  through  every  department 
of  life  and  labor.  Nothing  is  firmly  and  definitely  settled. 
The  English  farmer's  wife  cooks  in  the  same  kitchen  and  in 
the  same  saucepan  that  her  mother  used,  and  occupies  exactly 
the  same  position  filled  by  her  grandmother.  She  has  little 
new  to  learn,  and  knows  the  old  thing  well.  If  both  ends  meet 
and  a  tidy  sum  goes  into  the  savings-bank  every  year,  she  is 
contented.  No  thoughts  of  building  a  house  twice  as  fine  as 
that  over  her  head  keep  her  awake  at  night.  So  long  as  her 
boys  have  steady  work,  and  she  sees  her  girls  well  behaved,  in- 
dustrious, and,  like  the  Scottish  cotter's  Jeannie,  "respectit 
like  the  lave,"  her  ambition  for  them  is  gratified. 

We  hear  a  vast  deal  said  of  the  evil  effects  of  American 
worry  upon  American  women,  in  crippling  their  energies  and 
shortening  their  lives.  Comparatively  little  is  written  or  spoken 
of  the  element  of  restlessness  that  sets  worry  a-going.  The 
wife  of  the  farmer,  or  mechanic,  or  clerk,  or  small  storekeeper 
never  settles  in  her  own  mind  just  where  she  belongs.  To  use 
a  slang  phrase — ''she  never  gets  there."  Consequently,  she 
never  finds  a  resting-place  for  mind  and  body.  By  the  time 
her  house  is  decently  furnished,  she  begins  to  contrive  how  it 
can  be  made  "smart,"  as  the  English  women  say.  The  Ameri- 
can uses  a  more  objectionable  word  when  she  calls  it  "genteel." 
The  girls  take  music-lessons,  and  a  piano  must  be  bought. 
Her  children  have  playfellows  who  dress  well,  and  she  would 
not  have  her  little  ones  seem  mean  or  shabby.   .   .   . 

I  wonder,  sometimes,  what  would  be  the  effect  upon  our 
bustling,  worried  housewife,  were  she  to  determine,  once  for  all, 
just  what  her  sphere  in  life  is,  and  make  up  her  mind  to  fill  the 
station  to  which  God  has  called  her  full,  before  straining  and 
panting  to  climb  to  a  higher.  When  will  we  study  the  old, 
sadly  true,  and  neglected  lesson  that  it  is  not  the  duty  or  trial 
of  to-day  that  wears  us  out,  but  planning  and  hoping  and  dread- 
ing for  to-morrow? 

Again,  our  housekeeper  living,  as  she  does  always,  a  little 
ahead  of  her  actual  position  and  of  her  strength,  if  not  ahead  of 


202  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

her  means,  does  not  keep  enough  servants,  considering  the 
size  of  her  house  and  family.  While  it  is  true  that  the  more 
"help"  one  has  of  the  kind  furnished  by  intelligence  offices  and 
the  "wants"  columns  of  the  daily  papers,  the  worse  off  she  is 
apt  to  be,  there  is  cruelty  to  herself  in  undertaking  to  do  all 
the  work  of  a  household  that  must  be  kept  abreast  of  the 
neighbors.  It  is  cruelty  of  a  kind  that  kills  wives  and  mothers 
of  tener  than  poverty  and  want. 

The  American  matron  is  a  wonderful  creation,  and  not  to 
be  found  out  of  our  favored  country;  but  bones,  blood,  muscle, 
and  nerve  were  never  made  that  could  bear,  without  injury,  the 
life  she  sets  for  herself  when  she  undertakes  to  do  all  of  the 
work  of  such  an  American  home  as  she  will  have. 

Another  thing  that  makes  her  load  grievous  and  hardly  to 
be  borne,  even  when  she  "tries  to  favor  her  strength"  by  means 
of  hired  help  and  modern  conveniences,  is  lack  of  proper  train- 
ing for  the  housekeeper's  business. 

The  life  led  by  our  girls  up  to  the  time  of  marriage  is  ac- 
countable for  much  of  this  deficiency.  If  mothers  of  every 
station  were  bent  upon  ^wqualifying  their  daughters  for  what 
probably  lies  before  them,  they  could  not  go  more  zealously  to 
work  to  secure  the  evil  end.  Our  public  and  private  schools 
and  colleges  "keep  up  the  standard"  so  fiercely  that  she  who 
would  rank  well  in  her  class  has  not  time  to  make  a  pudding, 
or  to  hem  a  handkerchief  during  nine  months  of  the  year,  and 
needs  the  other  three  for  recuperation.  After  graduation,  the 
girl's  harness  is  stripped  off,  and  she  is  turned  into  the  social 
pasture  for  a  run  that  lasts  until  she  is  caught  and  noosed  for 
life.  .  .  . 

My  indignation  expends  itself  upon  the  inconsiderate,  or 
weakly  indulgent,  or  ambitious  mothers  who  let  daughters 
waste  in  useless  follies  time  that  should  be  given,  in  part,  at 
least,  to  diligent  preparation  for  the  calling  to  which  they  are 
directed  by  nature  and  public  sentiment.  Not  one  girl  in  ten 
thousand  expects,  or  is  expected,  to  pass  all  her  life  in  the  home  of 
her  girlhood.  What  censure  is  too  harsh  for  the  conduct  of  the 
parent  who,  ignoring  this  solemn  truth,  fails  to  instruct  her  in  the 
practical  details  of  the  profession  she  is  almost  certain  to  enter  ? 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  203 


TEMPER,    AND   HOW   TO   MEET   IT 

THE  question  of  the  child's  exhibitions  of  temper  is  one 
upon  which  maternal  opinion  is  divided,  probably 
with  good  reason.  As  Mrs.  Washburne  puts  it:  "There  are 
those  who  think  that  the  baby  shows  real  temper  within  the 
first  few  months  of  life,  and  not  only  that,  but  that  he  can  be 
taught  by  pain  of  various  kinds  to  control  his  temper.  There 
are  others  who  think  that  genuine  temper  and  self-will  are 
impossible  before  the  end  of  the  first  year,  and  that  therefore 
any  attempt  at  discipline  is  quite  out  of  place. " 

In  children  who  are  eight  months  old  or  more,  there  appears 
sometimes  a  violent,  destructive  anger,  very  hard  to  reckon 
with.  In  these  emotional  paroxysms  the  child  destroys  any- 
thing within  his  reach,  screaming  meanwhile  at  the  top  of  his 
lungs:  and  Mrs.  Washburne  rightly  regards  a  child  in  such  a 
tantrum  as  temporarily  insane.  There  is  certainly  no  use 
in  arguing  with  him,  and  still  less  use  in  threatening.  The  only 
thing  to  do  is  to  keep  as  still  and  cool  as  possible  yourself,  and 
to  act  promptly.  You  have  the  advantage  o*f  your  size;  make 
use  of  it.  Pick  him  up  and  carry  him  to  a  quiet  place  where 
there  is  nothing  which  he  can  injure  and  leave  him  there. 
Solitude  and  silence  are  his  best  helpers. 

"The  thing  we  ought  to  try  to  do,"  this  lady  counsels,  "is, 
first,  to  avoid  as  far  as  possible  all  occasions  for  such  display  of 
temper,  for  it  is  very  easy  to  form  in  a  child  the  habit  of  emotional 
uncontrol.  Especially  is  this  so  when  a  child  inherits  from 
either  father  or  mother  that  nervous  weakness  which  we  call 
quick  temper.  We  need  to  establish  a  habit  of  poise  and  of 
quiet,  and  therefore  td  remove  as  far  as  possible  all  temptations. 

This  does  not  mean  at  all  that  the  child  should  have  his  own 
way  in  everything  for  fear  of  an  outbreak  of  temper.  On  the 
contrary,  he  must  never  be  allowed  to  feel  that  he  gains  any- 
thing by  a  display  of  temper,  except  quiet  and  solitude.  It 
means  simply  that  we  should  look  ahead;  and  when  we  know, 
for  example,  that  being  lifted  suddenly  out  of  a  warm  bath  into  a 
comparatively  cold  room  brings  on  crying,  we  should  try  to 


204  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

have  a  warm  towel  handy,  and  perhaps  something  to  distract 
his  attention,  like  a  piece  of  candy  popped  into  his  mouth  at 
the  psychological  moment.  Or  when  we  know  that  he  be- 
comes restless  and  irritable  when  his  meals  are  long  delayed, 
we  should  put  ourselves  out  to  see  to  it  that  they  are  not  delayed 
at  all.     And  so  with  other  recognized  causes  of  bad  temper. 

But  when,  on  the  other  hand,  he  is  really  in  a  temper  despite 
our  best  efforts,  we  must  see  to  it  that  he  does  not  get  what  he 
is  screaming  for.  Even  if  it  is  right  in  itself,  it  is  not  right  to 
let  him  have  it  while  he  is  screaming,  lest  he  come  to  think  that 
letting  go  of  himself  is  a  good  way  of  getting  what  he  wants. 

Physical  motion  of  all  sorts  forms  a  good  vent  for  such  nervous 
and  emotional  excitement.  If  the  child  can  be  induced  to  run 
out  of  doors,  or  can  be  given  a  hammer  to  pound  with,  or  in  any 
other  way  can  be. led  to  work  off  the  nervous  excitement  through 
muscular  activity,  his  temper  will  evaporate  harmlessly. 

The  cures  for  temper,  then,  are:  First,  avoidance  of  provo- 
cation; second,  distracted  attention;  third,  active  physical 
exercise;  and  fourth,  if  all  these  fail,  solitude  and  quiet  until  the 
storm  has  blown  itself  out. 

^W  ^%  %^9 

SUBMISSION 

IT  is  the  opinion  of  many  whose  judgment  is  well  worth 
heeding,  that  the  first  day  of  a  baby's  life  is  not  too  soon 
to  impress  upon  the  dawning  intelligence  the  necessity  of 
submission  to  circumstances  and  law;  of  obedience  to  authority 
and  the  value  of  self-control.  For  example,  Dr.  Emelyn  L. 
Coolidge,  an  eminent  specialist  in  the  care  of  infants,  declares: 
"The  cry  of  temper  should  never  be  given  in  to  or  the  mother 
will  regret  it  later.  Baby's  training  must  be  begun  from  the 
first  day.  He  should  not  be  rocked  to  sleep,  trotted,  nor  walked 
the  floor  with,  nor  allowed  to  suck  his  thumb  or  'pacifier.' 
All  of  these  habits  will  soon  have  to  be  broken,  so  why  begin 
them  ?  He  needs  all  the  love  he  can  get,  but  he  should  be  made 
a  happy  little  blessing  and  not  a  naughty  little  tyrant. " 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  205 

This  seems  a  severe  doctrine,  but  the  last  sentence  explains 
and  justifies  it.  It  has  been  sagaciously  said  that  the  moment 
the  first,  or  any,  baby  arrives,  the  question  presents  itself — 
"Shall  the  house  adjust  itself  to  the  baby  or  the  baby  to  the 
house?"  No  one  who  has  seen  the  former  condition  will  uphold 
that  policy.  Family  love  may  center  about  a  baby,  but  there 
is  no  reason  why  all  the  family  should  be  upset  for  years  by  the 
whims  of  a  little  animal  who  hasn't  the  least  idea  of  v.^hat  he  is 
about  or  how  it  affects  others.  If  you  have  a  puppy  that  is 
worth  raising,  you  treat  him  substantially  as  well  as  you  do 
your  son  or  daughter,  but  you  don't  hesitate  to  compel  him  to 
behave  himself,  nor  do  you  disarrange  your  usual  manner  of 
life.  The  two  animals  are  pretty  closely  alike  for  a  while;  and 
the  mother  might  often  save  herself  and  her  baby  much  trouble 
and  sorrow  then  and  afterward  if  she  took  a  hint  from  the  method 
her  husband  uses  with  his  precious  puppy.  Almost  every 
mother  has  to  decide  very  early  whether  she  or  the  newcomer 
is  to  rule.  "  If  his  mother  is  a  washerwoman,  he  gets  no  answer ' ' 
as  Mr.  Abbott  remarks;  "she  goes  about  her  washing  and  he 
finds  his  place  without  much  remonstrance.  The  children  of 
the  poor  are  blessed  with  mothers  who  have  this  problem  settled 
for  them  by  the  gaunt  hand  of  necessity.  If,  however,  this 
lordling  has  been  born  in  the  purple,  even  of  a  very  light  shade, 
he  has  a  good  chance  of  seizing  the  scepter  at  the  very  first 
grasp.  He  certainly  will  seize  it  and  wield  it  relentlessly,  if  his 
mother  decides  to  do  the  easiest  thing.  Of  course,  there  are 
cases  which  cannot  be  considered  normal.  Ordinarily,  however, 
the  issue  is  not  long  postponed.  Probably  it  will  be  most  dis- 
tinctly varied  over  a  question  of  feeding.  The  foundation  of 
an  absolute  monarchy  within  many  a  plain  American  home 
has  been  laid  by  allowing  the  diminutive  heir  apparent  to  engage 
in  midnight  feasting  when  every  consideration  of  orderliness 
commanded  sleep." 

This  does  not  necessarily  imply  harshness  or  a  Spartan  in- 
difference to  the  little  one's  discomfort,  or  refraining  from  the 
indulgent  and  comforting  caresses  which  mean  so  much  to 
both  mother  and  child.  "The  divine  plan,"  remarks  Kate 
E.  Blake,  "seems  to  be  to  lead  little  children  by  delights  as 


206  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

well  as  by  penalties,  .  .  .  When  all  physical  requirements  are 
satisfied,  there  remains  for  the  human  being,  not  only  intellec- 
tual requirements,  but  spiritual  and  moral  ones.  Love  is  the 
deepest  force  in  the  life  of  the  adult  being;  one  might  sus- 
pect from  this  that  it  has  its  roots  deep  in  the  emotional  nature 
of  the  child — deeper  than  in  his  brain,  even." 

Nevertheless,  whether  or  not  parents  may  have  the  courage, 
or  think  it  wise,  to  make  the  fight  in  the  cradle  there  is  no  ques- 
tion but  that  a  baby  accustomed  to  submit  and  adjust  itself 
to  circumstances  and  regulations  will  more  easily  take  the 
next  step,  which  is  Obedience. 

t^^  ((?•  t?* 

SHALL  THE  BOY  STAY  IN  SCHOOL? 

THIS  is  a  question  which  is  forcing  itself  upon  the  attention 
of  parents  everywhere.  It  is  even  said  to  be  more  in- 
sistent now  than  formerly,  because  it  seems  to  be  harder  each 
year  to  keep  the  boys  in  school.  The  schools  are  graduating 
more  girls  than  boys.  The  boys  are  taken  with  the  money 
germ;  they  want  jobs  and  to  begin  to  earn.  They  hear  of  men 
who  have  made,  or  are  making,  money,  but  who  had  little 
schooling,  and  they  are  ambitious  to  follow  in  their  steps.  They 
think  education  not  worth  while.  So  the  parents  have  on  their 
hands  the  problem  of  deciding  either  to  compel  the  boy  to  go 
to  school  or  permit  him  to  take  a  job,  or  to  convince  him  that 
education  has  uses  he  does  not  yet  understand. 

An  experienced  Western  educator,  Jacob  Saunders,  thinks 
it  depends  on  the  boy,  some  boys  being  manifestly  too  stupid 
with  books  to  go  beyond  the  three  R's,  wherefore  it  is  better  for  all 
concerned  to  let  them  go  to  work.  But  the  average  boy  should 
be  shown  clearly  the  great  advantages  of  a  good  education,  and 
the  serious  loss  to  himself  in  all  his  future  if  he  neglects  his 
opportunities  to  get  it. 

"  The  boy  who  is  seized  with  the  desire  to  set  to  work  at  once 
as  a  money-maker  should  be  shown  that  he  is  in  danger  of 
defeating  his  own  ambitions  in  this  very  direction  by  making  too 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  207 

early  a  start  with  an  uncultivated  mind.  Starting  only  with 
an  elementary  education,  he  may  for  a  time  earn  a  better  living 
than  the  boy  who  studies  his  books  and  then  has  to  take  time 
to  get  started.  But  the  boy  with  a  trained  mind  will  in  all  prob- 
ability pass  the  former  boy  after  a  few  years  in  affairs.  At 
thirty  the  educated  man  will  probably  be  ahead,  and  then  he 
will  keep  ahead.  The  uneducated  boy  will  find  himself  thrown 
later  with  men  of  finer  training,  perhaps  first-class  education,  and 
he  will  not  be  able  to  compete  with  them.  Also  the  man  of 
education  will  always  be  ahead  of  the  others  in  the  social  sphere. 
The  man  who  quits  school  too  early  will  find  himself  at  a  great 
disadvantage  intellectually  among  men  of  better  training." 

^*  ^*  ^w 

SHALL  YOUR  BOY  FIGHT? 

BY   MARGARET    E.  S.ANTGSTER 

MOST  fathers  answer  this  question  in  the  aflfirmative. 
Few  mothers  do  so  without  anxious  thought  and  grave 
doubt.  It  would  seem  a  nobler  thing  for  a  little  fellow  of 
ten  or  twelve  to  refuse  to  fight  and  to  endure  hard  knocks 
with  patience,  than  to  hold  his  own  on  the  playground  by  return- 
ing blow  for  blow.  Yet  the  lad  who  does  this,  whether  he  be 
younger  or  older,  is  likely  to  be  misunderstood,  and  observation, 
in  my  judgment,  shows  that  in  boy-life  it  is  often  necessary  to 
win  peace  by  personal  valor.  A  boy  who  is  known  to  be  ready 
in  the  art  of  self-defense  is  not  often  molested  by  the  bully, 
the  latter  being  generally  a  coward.  A  mother  hates  to  see  her 
little  man  of  ten  disfigured  by  a  black  eye,  though  there  are 
many  worse  things  that  may  come  to  him,  and  she  should  not 
too  hastily  condemn  him  if  he  stand  up  for  himself  at  need 
in  a  fair  fight.  A  boy  should  never  tyrannize  over  one  who  is 
younger  and  weaker  than  himself.  He  should  never  fight  a 
smaller  boy.  He  should  not  hesitate  for  an  instant  to  fight,  if 
fight  he  must,  preferably  with  his  fists,  in  self-defense  or  in 
defense  of  a  dumb  animal,  a  little  girl,  a  cripple,  or  a  smaller 


208  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

boy.  At  least,  this  is  the  conclusion  which  I  have  reached  after 
a  good  deal  of  thought  on  the  subject. 

Moral  courage  is  a  far  higher  quality  than  physical,  and 
there  are  many  times  when  it  is  braver  to  decline  a  fight  than 
to  accept  one.  Still,  in  a  world  full  of  perils,  physical  courage, 
inclusive  of  readiness,  steadiness,  poise  and  quickness,  should 
never  be  at  a  discount.  I  should  be  ashamed  of  a  boy  who 
would  not  fight  to  save  a  cat  or  dog  from  persecution  at  the 
hands  of  cruel  tormentors.  I  should  equally  regret  to  see  in  a 
lad  the  sort  of  bluster  and  boasting  that  goes  about  with  a  chip 
on  its  shoulder,  ready  to  pick  a  quarrel  with  any  one  for  the 
mere  sake  of  strife. 

Taking  boys  in  general,  we  find  them  quite  able  to  manage 
their  own  affairs  without  too  much  interference  on  the  part  of 
their  elders.  They  have  a  robust  love  of  fair  play.  Last  sum- 
mer, in  conversation  with  a  ministerial  friend  who  understands 
boys  and  boy  life,  I  was  interested  in  his  point  of  view.  "I 
usually  stand  aside,"  he  said,  "when  the  boys  have  a  dispute. 
As  a  rule,  I  find  that  if  they  are  allowed  to  settle  their  own 
differences,  even  if  the  matter  reaches  the  crisis  of  a  fight,  they 
shake  hands  and  are  good  friends  afterward." 

Our  boys  are  preparing  for  life  in  the  larger  worid.  Almost 
before  we  know  it,  they  will  be  in  college,  in  business,  some- 
where in  the  thick  of  the  great  fight  that  is  always  going  on. 
We  want  them  to  be  morally  and  physically  fit  for  the  conflict. 
In  settling  for  ourselves  the  question,  Shall  the  small  boy  fight, 
or  shall  he  refrain  from  fighting?  we  must  think  of  his  future. 
The  one  thing  he  cannot  do  is  to  run  away.  He  must  not  show 
the  white  feather.  If  he  declines  a  fight,  he  must  be  strong 
enough  to  show  in  other  ways  that  he  does  it  through  no  lack 
of  courage. 

^*  ^»  tff^ 

SELF-TRAINING  OF  A  ''KID" 

ONE  of  the  hardest  lessons  for  many  women  to  learn  is 
not  to  worry  over  the  seeming  recklessness  of  their  chil- 
dren.    They  find  it  hard  to  realize  that,  if  it  comes  to  a  choice 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  209 

it  is  better  for  self  and  husband  and  all  the  family  that  a  youngster 
should  now  and  then  get  a  bruise  or  a  cut  or  even  a  broken  limb, 
than  that  the  mother  should  wear  out  her  owti  and  others' 
nerves  by  complaining  fears  of  what  may  never  happen.  Your 
child,  dear  madam,  and  particularly  your  boy,  is  a  young  ani- 
mal. His  business  in  life  at  present  is  to  grow;  all  his  natural 
energy  is  devoting  itself  to  building  up  and  strengthening  his 
body  by  exercise.  His  restlessness  is  just  as  natural  as  his 
hunger.  Nature  has  implanted  in  him  as  in  all  other  young 
animals  an  instinct  for  play,  by  which  he  trains  himself  with 
trial  and  experience  for  teachers.  His  father  understands 
this  better  than  you  do,  when  he  dubs  mother's  darling  "the 
kid."  Day  by  day  your  kid,  like  a  real  one,  must  try  his 
powers — must  run  and  jump  and  leap  and  climb,  and  butt  and 
be  butted,  struggling  against  rough  nature  and  matching  him- 
self against  other  beginners  in  life's  competition.  Nature 
urges  him  on  in  this  unconscious  schooling — dares  him  to  do 
feats — and  now  and  then  sets  him  a  hard  lesson ;  but  nature  does 
not  want  to  lose  him  any  more  than  you  do.  Therefore  she  has 
planted  in  his  mind,  beside  the  necessary  eagerness  for  exertion, 
a  proper  fear  of  pain — a  discernment  of  what  is  dangerous — • 
which  leads  him  to  be  cautious.  He  is  more  careful  than  you 
think.  He  has,  like  other  animals,  an  instinct  for  self-preserva- 
tion. Let  him  climb.  He  is  ordinarily  a  better  judge  of  his 
ability  than  you  are.  The  chances  are  a  thousand  to  one  that 
he  won't  fall,  and  if  he  does  the  probability  is  that  it  won't 
hurt  him  much.  His  body  is  light  and  its  frame  elastic.  At 
any  rate  it  is  better  to  have  him  tumble  now  and  then  than  to 
have  him  too  careful  of  himself  to  take  risks.  You  may  di- 
minish the  risks  which  alarm  you  by  judicious  instruction,  and 
by  encouraging  physical  training;  but  if  you  try  to  repress  the 
experience  necessary  for  manly  development  the  result  is 
likely  to  be  either  a  mollycoddle,  or  more  likely,  a  violent 
seizing  upon  chances  to  test  his  power  behind  your  back. 
Then  a  real  recklessness  will  appear,  due  to  haste  to  take  ad- 
vantage of  his  opportunity,  revolt  against  undue  restraint, 
and  ignorance  of  what  his  powers  really  are.  "In  all  possible 
ways,"  advises  one  who  has  given  much  thought  to  this  anxiety- 


210  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

breeding  phase  of  childhood,  "your  object  is  to  get  him  to  con- 
sider his  own  muscles,  and  the  habit  of  cultivating  sanely  the 
force  he  must  exert  to  overcome  a  given  difficulty.  Master  of 
the  little  world  around  him  he  is  destined  to  become.  He  will 
never  cease  in  his  efforts  to  this  end;  nor  do  you,  if  you  but 
think  about  it,  wish  him  to  cease.  Your  duty,  then,  is  to  help 
him  in  the  struggle,  by  giving  him  full  opportunity,  unhindered 
by  womanish  qualms,  and  by  fitting  him  to  conquer  by  every 
means  in  your  power." 

^W  ^w  ^* 

NAMING  THE  BABY 

IT  would  seem  as  though  almost  every  conceivable  reason 
had  influenced  parents  in  naming  their  children  except  con- 
sideration for  the  child's  feelings  after  it  had  grown  old  enough  to 
realize  what  a  trick  had  been  played  upon  it.  A  name  is  a 
label  which  must  be  carried  all  through  life,  and  remembered 
afterward.  It  should  be  as  distinctive  as  may  be,  yet  not  so 
conspicuous  as  to  cause  wonder,  or  smiles,  or,  worst  of  all, 
constant  punning.  Some  names  are  a  needless  torture  to  sensi- 
tive owners,  while,  on  the  other  hand,  an  agreeable  name  is 
not  only  a  source  of  satisfaction  but  may  be  a  real  advantage. 
Edward  Everett  Hale  once  met  a  young  author  of  some  reputa- 
tion with  the  greeting:  "I  am  glad  to  meet  you,  and  make  sure 
your  name  is  your  own;  it  is  so  good  I  have  thought  it  might 
be  a  pen-name."  Why  should  a  person  who  wishes  to  attract 
favorable,  or  at  least  avoid  unfavorable,  attention  in  a  business 
way,  so  often  feel  compelled  to  invent  a  new  and  more  pleasing 
name  ?  Usually  because  his  mother  failed  to  look  ahead  when 
he  was  the  subject  of  the  household  query :  "What  shall  we  name 
the  baby?" 

There  ought  to  be  given  at  least  one  Christian  name  well 
fitted  by  sound  and  sense  to  go  with  the  surname.  Such  names 
as  Sydney  Smith,  Robert  Burns,  Florence  Nightingale,  gain 
much  from  their  euphony  in  combination.     How  harsh  would 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  211 

have  been  Ellen  Nightingale,  and  how  fun-provoking  Virginia 
Nightingale!  Appropriateness  is  often  laughably  violated,  as 
when  an  infant,  dark-skinned  as  an  Indian,  and  likely  to 
follow  her  family  in  growing  up  short  and  stout,  is  named 
Lily;  or  her  tall,  blonde  cousin,  Violet.  Smoothness  of  sound; 
ease  of  pronunciation,  and  of  being  shortened  into  a  good 
"nickname";  appropriateness;  and  such  distinction  as  can 
be  gained,  ought  to  be  considered  when  the  choice  is  made. 
If  this  were  done  newspapers  would  not  rejoice  in  items  poking 
fun  at  queer  names,  whose  owners  have  shed  bitter  tears,  no 
doubt,  over  the  unwisdom  of  those  who  first  inflicted  them  upon 
innocent  victims. 

^5*        ^3^        v* 


MAY  CHILDREN  BE  NOISY? 

SOMEBODY  has  declared  that  he  "wouldn't  give  a  snap" 
for  youngsters  who  didn't  make  a  noise,  meaning  that 
their  disposition  to  stillness  showed  that  they  lacked  vigor. 
This  in  many  cases  might  be  true;  but  whether  we  can  agree 
with  the  proposition  generally  depends  a  good  deal  upon  when 
and  where  the  noise  is  made,  and  what  it  is  about;  also,  who  is 
the  maker.  We  are  likely  to  be  more  annoyed  by  a  racket 
coming  out  of  our  neighbors'  yard  than  with  that  which  is  going 
out  of  our  own — a  fact  worth  remembering!  Much  of  the  noise 
made  by  children  cannot  be  prevented,  in  fairness,  and  ought 
not  to  be.  A  good  part  of  both  the  crowing  and  the  crying  of 
babies  is  merely  exercise;  and  this  is  largely  true  of  the  tots  in 
the  nursery  and  of  the  smaller  children  on  the  playground,  whose 
shrill  cries  and  shouts,  laughter  and  friendly  wrangling,  are  a 
part  of  nature's  method  of  developing  chest  and  lungs  and 
larynx  in  the  human  animal.  If  the  racket  is  near  by  we  don't 
like  it — but  what's  the  use  of  scolding?  Better  betake  ourselves 
to  a  quieter  place  than  spoil  the  fun  and  get  ourselves  hated. 
When  we  grown-ups  get  excited  at  a  ball-game,  or  when  election- 
returns  are  coming  in,  do  we  not  wake  the  echoes — sometimes 


212  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

with  horns  and  cannon  to  help  us?  Think  of  that  when  the 
youngsters  make  a  great  din.  "'Tis  their  nature  to,"  and  is 
probably  doing  them  good.  Of  course  in  the  house,  school- 
room and  other  unsuitable  places  or  time,  skylarking  and  noisy 
behavior  must  be  controlled,  but  in  general  be  chary  of  suppress- 
ing the  happy  clamor  of  proper  play,  because  there  will  come 
times  when  you  must  do  so  and  expect  prompt  obedience,  willing- 
ly given  because  it  is  felt  you  must  have  a  good  reason  for  the 
unusual  request,  "There  are  people,"  to  quote  Mr.  E.  H.  Ab- 
bott, "  for  whose  nerv^es  children  should  be  made  to  have  some 
regard;  there  are  invalids  who  do  not  thrive  on  din;  there  is 
necessary  work  which  cannot  be  done  in  the  midst  of  a  racket; 
there  are  neighbors  who  declare,  with  some  show  of  right,  that 
they  regard  monopoly  in  noise  as  against  public  policy.  So, 
whether  for  Cousin  Bettina's  nerves,  or  a  tired  mother's  rest, 
or  a  busy  father's  interview  with  a  creditor,  or  merely  for  the 
sake  of  reputation  with  the  neighbors,  it  may  be  best  to  disre- 
gard all  other  factors  and  insist  on  quiet."  Now  it  will  not 
be  easy  to  insist  on  quiet  on  such  occasions  unless  you  endure 
reasonable  noise  under  ordinary  circumstances.  Deal  fairly  by 
the  little  ones  and  they  will  deal  fairly  by  you. 


^v  x^^  v^ 

THE  USE  AND  ABUSE  OF  HOLIDAYS 

THE  question  of  holidays,  and  in  particular  of  the  long 
summer  vacation,  is  one  which  often  gives  parents  anx- 
ious thoughts.  It  may  be  doubted  whether  the  present  custom  of 
nine  months  of  schooling  and  three  months'  idleness  is  the  wisest 
that  could  be  made;  would  it  not  be  better  to  study  right  through 
the  year,  with  four  short  intermissions  annually,  thus  accomplish- 
ing in  three  years  what  now  takes  four  ?  Doubtless  many  parents 
would  welcome  such  rearrangement.  At  present,  the  short  inter- 
ludes at  Christmas  and  Easter  give  little  trouble  at  home;  each 
has  special  amusements  and  observances  in  which  all  are  interest- 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  213 

ed  and  occupied,  and  which  are,  or  may  be,  occasions  of  profit  as 
well  as  joy.  But  the  long  summer  vacation  is  undoubtedly  a 
trial  to  that  large  part  of  our  population  which  resides  in  cities 
and  has  a  small  income.  Their  houses  are  small — often  mere 
apartments;  the  mother  does  all  or  most  of  the  household 
work;  the  father,  however  willing,  can  be  of  little  assistance  to 
her;  and  perhaps  the  only  out-door  playground  is  the  street.  To 
the  tens  of  thousands  of  decent  and  hopeful  families  in  such  cir- 
cumstances holidays  are  a  terror  rather  than  a  joy,  and  the  chil- 
dren themselves  welcome  the  reopening  of  school.  The  case  is 
not  easy  to  meet,  but  the  best  solution  seems  to  be  some  sort  of 
regular  occupation.  For  rural  folks  no  counsel  seems  needed  in 
this  direction,  except  not  to  forget  that  boys  have  a  fair  claim 
to  time  for  play,  and  an  inborn  need  to  go  a-fishing  about  once 
in  so  often.  In  town,  let  the  boys,  after  a  few  days  of  freedom, 
go  on  a  farm  or  into  a  factory,  store,  or  office.  They  expect  to 
do  so  a  few  years  hence — why  not  begin  their  training  now? 
The  money  they  earn  will  be  small,  but  will  feel  good  in  the 
pockets,  and  brain  rest  gained  in  change  of  work  is  better  than 
that  gained  by  loafing.  Some  girls  might  find  similar  employ- 
ment, but  it  would  be  better  for  them  to  take  this  opportunity 
for  lessons  in  housekeeping,  relieving  the  mother  of  all  the 
tasks  and  responsibility  for  which  they  are  fitted.  One  diflfi- 
culty  here  is  to  get  the  average  mother  to  let  her  daughter  help 
her  systematically,  and  in  the  relief  from  strain,  take  something 
like  vacation  herself;  yet  that  is  the  only  way  to  train  the  girl 
thoroughly,  and  probably  she  is  much  more  capable  than  she 
is  given  credit  for. 

As  to  families  more  fortunately  situated,  the  most  important 
caution  is  one  against  permitting  the  excitement  of  plentiful 
amusements,  seaside  life,  or  forest-camping,  to  blot  out  all 
recollection  of  studies.  In  one  way  or  another,  by  tutors,  by 
an  hour  or  so  of  regular  reading  daily  in  the  line  of  school -work, 
by  the  pursuit  of  some  specialty  in  science  or  art  or  linguistics, 
the  mind  should  be  kept  toned  up  for  the  business  of  the  coming 
autumn  and  winter.  In  short,  children  should  not  be  allowed 
to  make  vacation  days  a  dread  to  their  parents  and  a  waste  to 
themselves. 


214  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 


FITTING  A  CHILD,  OR  MAKING  A  CHILD  FIT 

IT  is  a  general  belief,  and  in  most  cases  a  well-founded  one, 
that  children  show  pretty  early  some  indication  of  what 
they  are  fitted  to  do.  Parents  will  do  well  to  look  for  these 
indications,  and  pay  more  attention  to  them  than  often  is 
given.  It  would  not  only  set  a  good  many  careers  right,  but 
it  might  save  a  lot  of  wasted  money  and  tears.  "  There  ought, " 
exclaims  Zelia  M.  Walters,  "to  be  a  protest  raised  against  the 
slavery  to  the  piano  that  is  practised  in  many  American  homes. 
Almost  every  motlier  who  can  buy  the  piano  and  pay  for  the 
instruction  wishes  to  make  musicians  of  her  children.  Long, 
weary  hours  of  practice  are  imposed  on  the  children,  and  any 
love  of  music  that  they  may  have  had  in  the  beginning  is  turned 
to  loathing.  The  result  is  a  performer  who,  though  she  may 
play  anything,  as  is  proudly  claimed,  can  never  be  a  musician. 
We  are  overrun  with  such  performers.  Mothers  should  learn 
that  it  takes  something  more  than  the  skill  to  strike  the  right 
key  to  make  a  musician." 

On  the  other  hand  a  young  person's  fancy  must  not  be  al- 
lowed to  run  away  with  good  judgment,  as  often  happens, 
especially  in  the  case  of  a  bright  child  who  thinks  he  or  she  can 
paint  or  write  or  sing  his  or  her  way  to  fame  and  fortune  in  a 
few  short  years.  What  millions  of  money  and  years  of  lost 
effort  and  soul-searing  disappointment  have  been  due  to  this 
species  of  mistaken  notion.  Let  the  "budding  genius"  try  a 
flight  near  home — in  a  newspaper  office,  or  a  scene-painter's 
studio,  or  a  church  choir,  and  get  some  idea  of  the  work  to  be 
done  and  hard  conditions  met,  before  launching  out.  If  the 
trial  fails,  the  gain  of  knowledge  is  worth  all  the  cost  and  delay. 

c5*         t^*         *^* 

CREEPING   INTO   KNOWT^EDGE 

IT  is  no  easy  thing  for  a  baby  to  balance  the  oversized  body 
upon   the   undersized   legs    and    uninstructed    feet,    and 
move  them  in  the  steady  succession  of  steps  which  constitutes 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  215 

walking.  Heretofore  he  has  been  exploring  the  world  on 
hands  and  knees,  and  has  acquired  a  great  amount  of  infor- 
mation thereby,  which  will  presently  stand  him  in  good 
stead. 

The  creeping  period  is,  as  Mrs.  Kate  E.  Blake  has  said,  a 
trying  period  for  the  young  mother  who  has  rejoiced  in  the 
dainty  sweetness  of  her  baby,  and  especially  in  its  dear  little 
hands.  From  this  time  on,  however,  if  he  grows  as  he  should, 
only  on  rare  occasions  will  he  satisfy  her  ideas  of  cleanliness. 
"  Other  things  being  equal,  it  may  safely  be  affirmed  that  the 
baby  who  is  always  immaculately  clean  will  grow  up  to  be  a 
weak-minded  man,  his  intellectual  development  having  been 
sacrificed  to  his  mother's  idea  of  neatness.  This  hard  doctrine 
leads  to  an  explanation  of  what  most  mothers  have  little  thought 
of — that  creeping,  while  not  a  physical  necessity  to  an  infant, 
though  an  excellent  exercise,  is  a  real  necessity  of  his  intel- 
lectual life.  The  child  has  now  reached  the  stage  when  he 
desires  to  know  more  about  distant  objects — he  has  just  begun, 
in  fact,  to  get  an  idea  of  distance,  an  idea  which  is  necessary 
to  true  seeing.  The  idea  of  distance  seems  to  rise  from  re- 
peated experience  of  the  amount  of  effort  required  to  reach  any 
object  in  view.  He  is  dependent  upon  experiments  for  other 
fundamental  notions,  such  as  ideas  of  hardness,  softness, 
height,  depth,  breadth,  thickness,  smoothness,  roughness — • 
physical  qualities  and  attributes  of  all  sorts.  "To  restrict 
him  to  a  specially  prepared  corner,  however  safe  and  convenient 
for  the  mother,  is  likely  to  limit  the  material  from  which  the 
child  is  constructing  his  future  power  to  think." 

On  this  subject  Preyer,  the  great  German  observer  of  chil- 
dren, remarks:  "Creeping,  the  natural  preparatory  school  for' 
walking,  is  but  too  often  not  permitted  to  the  child,  although  it 
contributes  vastly  to  his  mental  development.  For  liberty  to 
get  a  desired  object,  to  look  at  it  and  to  feel  of  it,  is  much  earlier 
gained  by  the  creeping  child  than  by  one  who  must  always  have 

help  in  order  to  change  his  location It  cannot  be  a  matter 

of  indift'erence  for  the  normal  mental  development  of  the  child 
not  yet  a  year  old  whether  it  is  packed  in  a  basket  for  hours,  is 
swathed  in  swaddling-clothes,  is  tied  to  a  chair,  or  is  allowed  to 


216  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

creep  about  in  perfect  freedom  upon  a  large  spread,  out- 
of-doors  in  summer,  and  in  a  room  moderately  heated  in 
winter." 

Of  course  he  must  be  suitably  dressed  for  those  daily  ex- 
cursions which  in  properly  warmed  houses  ought  to  be  al- 
lowed to  extend  everywhere,  even  at  the  expense  of  providing 
fenders  for  fireplaces  and  ridding  tables  of  long  covers,  whose 
dangling  corners  may  be  pulled,  bringing  with  them  lamps, 
vases  and  other  dangerous  things.  To  guard  doorways  and 
stairways  with  gates  or  boards  sliding  in  grooves  is  not  difficult; 
but  it  is  easy  to  teach  yearling  babies  not  to  fall  over  precipices. 
Thousands  of  children  are  born  and  reared  on  boats,  and  fall 
into  the  water  no  oftener  than  other  youngsters.  One  lady 
has  recorded  how,  by  having  some  one  push  her  little  one  over 
the  edge  of  a  high  porch  into  her  arms  two  or  three  times,  she 
taught  it  to  dread  and  keep  away  from  the  edge  as  well  as  did 
the  older  children.  A  surprisingly  short  training  will  teach  a 
creeper  to  scramble  downstairs  backward,  and  after  it  gets  the 
idea,  and  a  frightening  slide  or  two,  it  may  be  safely  trusted  up 
and  down  forty  times  a  day. 

Mrs.  Marion  Foster  Washburne  calls  attention  to  a  difficulty 
which  a  baby  often  encounters  in  its  first  attempts  at  creeping — 
a  difficulty  which  is  for  a  while  most  amusing  to  the  onlook- 
ers, but  which  presently  becomes  tiresome  even  to  them.  As 
for  the  little  fellow  himself,  he  becomes  perfectly  enraged. 
"The  trouble  is  this:  His  arms  are  so  much  stronger  and  better 
developed  than  his  legs,  that  he  pushes  himself  backward  in- 
stead of  forward.  The  harder  he  tries  to  go  toward  a  desired 
object,  the  more  rapidly  he  scuttles  away  from  it,  scolding  and 
fretting  all  the  time.  Some  patience  on  the  part  of  the  mother 
is  here  required.  She  will  have  to  get  down  on  the  floor  with 
him  and  put  her  hands  behind  first  one  little,  pushing  foot  and 
then  the  other,  until  he  gradually  grows  strong  enough  to  make 
his  knees  do  the  proper  work.  Sometimes  it  takes  almost  a 
week  to  teach  a  baby  to  go  forward  instead  of  backward,  and 
it  is  partly  because  few  women  take  time  so  to  help  the  baby 
that  he  learns  to  get  around  the  difficulty  himself  by  various 
queer  procedures." 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  217 


A  CHILDREN'S  HOUR 

THE  world  is  too  much  with  us,"  exclaims  Wordsworth: 
and  it  wedges  its  way  into  the  sacred  seclusion  of  home, 
and  between  mother  and  children.  Every  mother  cries  out 
that  she  gives  her  life  to  her  children;  and  yet  the  children  may 
feel  that  they  scarcely  know  her,  or  that  she  knows  them.  She, 
or  they,  are  always  too  busy  to  get  acquainted.  By  the  time 
their  school  hours  and  her  necessary  household  occupations, 
and  the  time  for  meals,  visits,  and  visitors  are  subtracted,  there 
is  usually  not  a  moment  when  the  httle  creatures  can  feel  that 
their  mother  is  altogether  their  own.  Especially  is  this  true  in 
city  life,  where  nurses  and  governesses  come  in  between  them, 
and  cannot  well  be  put  aside. 

Now  suppose  every  mother  who  reads  this  page  should,  for 
a  month  or  two  as  a  trial,  set  apart  the  lonesome  hour  when  the 
children  have  been  wont  to  creep  sleepily  off  to  bed,  as  the 
Children's  Hour.  What  if  she  does  give  up  some  social  pleasure, 
or  sacrifice  a  chance  to  read  or  sew.  Don't  let  her  dress  be  too 
fme  for  Nelly  to  maul  and  climb  over,  nor  her  thoughts  busy 
with  anything  but  the  children's  talk.  Silly  as  that  may  be,  they 
are  the  keenest  of  observers;  they  will  know  instantly  whether 
it  is  only  mamma's  body  that  is  with  them  while  her  mind  is 
far  away.  Nor  need  she  fill  up  the  hour  with  hints  on  behavior 
or  morals;  let  reproofs  wait  until  to-morrow;  let  them  slaughter 
their  tenses  or  tell  of  their  school  scrapes  as  they  choose — for 
this  little  while  she  is  their  friend — comes  near  to  them. 

Yet  even  in  this  gracious  service  there  is  something  to  be 
considered- -too  much  dependence  upon  it.  It  is  not  necessary 
that  the  rule  should  never  be  broken.  Sometimes  it  might 
cost  the  mother  more  than  she  ought  to  pay;  or  after  a  day  of 
special  excitement  the  youngsters  would  be  the  better  for  no 
more.  But  when  a  relation  of  sympathy  and  confidence  exists, 
these  exceptions  and  mutual  yieldings  will  be  easy.  Therefore, 
on  the  whole,  the  Children's  Evening  Hour  is  an  admirable 
institution. 


218  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 


CHILDREN  AND  GUESTS 

ONE  of  the  oldest  and  raciest  of  household  maxims  is  that 
"Children  should  be  seen  and  not  heard."  This,  it  is 
true,  may  be  over-applied,  resulting  in  loss  of  self-confidence 
and  embarrassing  shyness  in  children  too  often  and  too  care- 
lessly repressed. 

From  the  point  of  view  of  the  outsider,  however,  it  is  usually 
regarded  as  most  commendable  doctrine:  it  is  unquestionable 
that  a  visitor  would  rather  see  than  listen  to,  or  hear  too  much 
about   his   host's  youngsters. 

There  is  a  pleasant  English  custom,  copied  to  some  extent 
here,  which  might  well  prevail.  At  a  dinner,  the  little  people 
of  the  family  (not  babies)  come  in  at  the  serving  of  dessert. 
They  have  had  their  evening  meal  earlier,  and  do  not  need  to 
partake  of  heavy  courses.  Now  they  are  permitted  a  taste  of 
the  sweets,  have  a  bit  of  the  festivities,  receive  some  notice  from 
the  grown-ups,  and  get  a  small  lesson  in  proper  behavior; 
but  they  quickly  retire. 

"In  our  American  homes,  too  often  young  children  monop- 
olize attention,  and  are  real  nuisances  to  guests,"  says  Janet 
Curtiss;  and  she  adds:  "Some  parents  have  this  weakness:  they 
constantly  fail  to  see  that  their  children  are  not  interesting  to  out- 
siders as  to  themselves.  After  the  baby's  first  tooth  has  been 
duly  examined  and  admired — of  course  there  was  never  one  so 
pearly  before! — don't,  don't  ask  the  bachelor  guest  if  he  wouldn't 
like  to  hold  the  dear  little  fellow.  Why,  the  man  would  infinitely 
prefer  grasping  a  red-hot  poker! 

"After  Mary  has  spoken  her  piece,  and  Tom's  bright  sayings 
have  been  reported,  and  Johnny  has  done  all  his  acrobatic 
stunts,  don't  be  oblivious  to  your  guest's  endeavors  to  suppress 
or  hide  a  yawn.  Send  the  dear  children  out,  or  at  least  put  them 
into  an  inconspicuous  background. 

"After  they  have  gone,  don't  continue  to  talk  about  them. 
Important  subjects  of  conversation  as  children  really  are,  they 
do  pall  sometimes,  and  there  are  many  other  topics  for  interest- 


DEVELOPMENT  AND  DISCIPLINE  219 

ing  discussion.  At  least,  if  your  guests  are  themselves  parents, 
permit  them  to  get  in  a  word  now  and  then  relating  to  their 
own  offspring." 

^w  t«?*  ^^ 

BULLYING 

THE  bully  is  almost  always  a  weak  child,  whose  mind 
is  affected  by  his  physical  deficiencies.  This  may 
explain  him  to  a  certain  extent,  but  it  does  not  excuse  him,  unless 
in  the  eyes  of  some  foolish  mother,  from  whom  he  hides,  as 
well  he  can,  the  meanness  of  his  soul:  for  the  thing  a  bully  needs 
to  learn  is  nobility. 

Such  a  child,  boy  or  girl,  should  be  kept  from  associating 
with  littler  ones,  and  put  with  companions  of  his  own  age. 
They  will  probably,  sooner  or  later,  make  him  realize  the  folly 
of  bulldozing;  and  if  he  comes  home  with  the  marks  of  a 
salutary  punching  don't  sympathize  while  you  soothe  his  bruises, 
but  coolly  ask  him  how  he  likes  the  taste  of  the  suffering  he  has 
been  inflicting  on  the  little  boys.  If  you  detect  anything  of 
the  bully  rejoice  when  some  nobler  youth  gives  him  a  good 
thrashing.  It's  the  best  means  of  cure,  and  it  can't  be  had  any 
other  way. 

Now  is  your  time  to  try  to  arouse  in  his  soul  some  sense  of 
chivalry.  Appeal  to  his  sense  of  fairness.  Show  him  the  mean- 
ness of  maltreating  those  who  are  defenseless,  and  teach  him  to 
scorn  it.  Praise  the  nobility,  on  the  other  hand,  of  defending  the 
oppressed,  of  taking  the  side  of  the  weak — against  whom? 
Why,  against  bullies.  Describe  the  mediaeval  robber-barons,  who 
extorted  tribute  from  innocent  merchants  by  force,  and  such  cruel 
tyrants  as  Nero  and  Dionysius,  who  have  been  despised  by  all  men 
for  2000  years  for  their  senseless  cruelties.  A  little  bully  on  the 
playground,  and  a  big  one  on  a  throne.  Shame  him  by  making 
him  read  the  definition  of  the  term  in  the  dictionary.  Dr. 
Johnson  defined  it  thus:  "A  bully  is  a  noisy,  blustering, 
quarrelsome  person,  who  generally  puts  on  the  appearance 
of  courage."  As  a  rule  he  is  a  coward.  Ask  about  the  other 
boys — are  they  not  braver  and  more  generous?     Why  did  that 


220  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

one  thrash  him  ?  Wasn't  it  from  generous  motives  ?  Wouldn't 
he  think  a  good  deal  better  of  himself  than  he  does  now  if  he, 
filled  with  manly  indignation,  had  given  instead  of  taken  the 
punching?  Would  not  he  like  to  have  been  a  knight  of  old, 
filled  with  the  spirit  of  chivalry?  Direct  him  to  books  and 
poems  describing  knightly  deeds  and  ideals,  and  then  point  out 
that  although  the  armor  and  plumes  and  blazoned  shield  are  no 
longer  in  fashion  the  spirit  of  knighthood — contending  only 
with  equals,  succoring  the  weak  and  aiding  the  unfortunate — 
remains;  and  the  gentleman  of  to-day  is  simply  a  knight  of  old 
without  his  armor. 

^*  t^*  ^* 

"BREAKING  HIS  WILL" 

BY  JANET  CURTISS 

TRAINING  the  child's  will  is  training  its  power  to  make 
right  choices.  Truly  is  it  said,  "The  deliberate  'I 
Will'  is  the  basis  of  a  man's  character,  and  the  'I  will'  of  the 
crises  in  life  is  being  made  by  the  'I  will'  of  each  day."  In 
other  words,  the  cumulative  effect  of  will  habits  is  tremendous. 
The  training  of  this  ruling  power  should  begin,  however,  before 
a  child  is  old  enough  to  deliberate,  while  it  is  still  the  creature 
of  sensation  and  impulse.  It  is,  indeed,  surprising  how  early 
a  child  exhibits  choice,  and  defends  its  right  to  choice.  The  wise 
mother  tries  not  to  come  in  sharp  conflict  with  her  baby's  will — 
she  soothes  and  wins  rather  than  coerces;  she  insensibly  guides 
it  into  obedience,  which  is  the  submission  of  its  will  to  a  will 
better  instructed  than  its  own.  Be  it  said  here  that  the  old 
term,  "breaking  a  child's  will"  is  now  generally  considered 
a  relic  of  barbarism.  If,  however,  any  conflict  unwittingly 
arises  between  mother  and  child,  the  mother  must  be  quietly 
firm.  Any  other  course  would  be  disastrous  to  the  little  one. 
...  It  is  diflficult  to  draw  the  line  where  impulse  decides,  or 
reasoning  over  choices  begins.  Children  differ,  and  probably 
the  change  is  imperceptible  because  gradual.  It  may  be  safely 
taken  for  granted  that  the  reason  begins  to  work  at  an  early 


DEVELOPMENT  AXD  DISCIPLINE  221 

period  of  life,  and  a  mother  need  not  hesitate  to  appeal  to  it 
in  simple  ways.  A  child  is  soon  taught  that  by  willing  it  cannot 
always  follow  the  path  of  its  own  desires.  Two  courses  of 
action  are  constantly  confronting  the  young  mind.  He  wishes 
to  do  one  thing,  and  something  tells  him  that  he  ought  to  do  the 
other.  Indeed,  it  has  seemed  to  me  that  the  proper  exercise 
of  will  might  be  defined  by  the  one  word  "ought."  And  the 
course  which  is  governed  by  "ought"  is  the  best  course 
in  the  long  run.  This  is  a  lesson  to  be  repeated  over  and 
over  again.  The  mother  has  the  privilege  of  constantly  present- 
ing right  standards  of  life  to  her  children.  Doing  this,  it  is 
wise  for  her  to  throw  the  responsibility  of  minor  decisions  upon 
them,  and  if  they  make  mistakes,  explain  to  them  why  a  different 
decision  would  have  been  better.  A  little  friend  of  mine  had 
received  some  education  of  this  sort.  She  was  less  than  ten 
years  old  when  she  was  sent  alone  about  thirty  miles  by  train. 
She  had  a  little  money  of  her  own,  a  few  cents  to  use  exactly 
as  she  pleased,  but  her  parents  were  not  rich  and  she  knew 
what  it  was  to  be  careful.  When  the  candv  bov  went  through 
the  car,  she  wanted  to  buy  some — -how  she  did  want  to  do  it  I — 
but  here  were  two  courses  presented.  Telling  the  incident 
later,  in  her  childlike  way,  she  said,  "I  just  looked  out  of  the 
window  everv  time  the  bov  came  along."  Xow  that  was  a 
distinct  effort  of  a  reasoning  will.  A  trifle?  By  no  means. 
She  will  become  a  stronger  woman  by  reason  of  that  experience. 
Every  mother  ought  to  rejoice  in  a  strong-willed  child. 
Difficult  to  train?  Yes,  possibly;  but,  well  trained,  what  a  man 
he  will  make!  It  follows  that  trifling  with  will-power  is  a  peril- 
ous business.  Using  a  familiar  proverb,  "Be  sure  you  are 
right,  then  go  ahead."  To  this  trifling  belong  the  many  good 
resolutions  which  are  not  kept.  Better  not  to  make  than  to 
break,  for  each  break  is  a  loss  of  power.  Here  is  an  authorita- 
tive description  of  a  weak-willed  man:  "His  interests  vary 
with  each  suggestion  that  comes  to  him  through  perception  or 
bodily  feeling;  he  is  never  certain  of  his  intentions,  never  con- 
stant in  his  attitude  toward  things,  never  thoroughly  self-pos- 
sessed." An  eminent  physician  recently  spoke  of  this  shilly- 
shallying state  as   an  American  disease.      A  person  decides 


222  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

one  way,  and  the  next  hour  decides  another  way,  then  he  harks 
back  to  the  first  decision,  and  never  rests  in  anything.  It  is 
a  state  pitiable  for  himself  and  annoying  to  his  friends.  Proper 
education  of  the  will  may  protect  a  person  from  such  an 
unfortunate  condition." 

t^        c5*        t.5* 

THE  BOY  AND  HIS  DEN 

IF  you  wish  your  boy  to  be  supremely  happy,  if  you  want 
to  cultivate  within  him  a  desire  for  self-dependence,  if  you 
would  like  him  to  become  neat  in  appearance,  you  should 
let  him  have  a  room,  a  corner  of  the  house  that  is  all  his 
own. "  So  writes  Dennis  H.  Stovallin  an  essay  in  ''The  Mother's 
Magazine" on  the  value  of  the  "den"  in  a  boy's  life  and  educa- 
tion. "Home  for  the  boy  should  be  more  than  a  place  to  eat 
and  sleep.  The  sweeter  the  associations  of  home,  the  greater 
the  privileges  allowed,  the  closer  will  the  boy  be  drawn  to  it. 
Give  the  boy  a  '  den'  that  he  can  call  his  own,  and  he  will  feel 
that  all  the  privileges  due  a  boy  have  been  allowed  him. 
His  interest  in  the  home  will  then  be  such  that  nothing  can 
entice  him  away,  for  his  heart  will  be  in  his  work,  and  his 
work  and  thoughts  will  be  in  his  'workshop.'  Give  him  a 
'den'  and  he  will  make  of  it  his  castle  and  home.  He  will 
make  it  his  refuge  when  trouble  pursues  him.  It  is  there  he 
will  go  when  those  leaden  hours  come,  as  they  come  at  times 
to  every  boy,  when  he  feels  utterly  friendless  and  all  alone;  and 
during  these  seasons  of  gloom,  brief  though  they  may  be,  he  will 
close  the  door  and  let  his  overcharged  heart  well  up  into  his 
eyes.  Every  boy  must  cry  now  and  then,  and  there  is  no  better 
place  to  shed  tears  than  in  the  privacy  of  his  "  den. "  It  is  there 
he  will  tell  his  mother  the  secrets  of  his  heart,  that  she  may  com- 
fort and  console.  It  is  there  the  boy  and  the  mother  will  come 
to  know  each  other  and  to  understand  each  other  as  nowhere 
else.  And  this  close  communion  will  bind  their  hearts  with  a 
golden  chain  whose  links  the  wear  of  time  can  never  break. " 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER 
FIRST  NATIONAL  CONGRESS  OF  MOTHERS 

THE  originator  of  the  project  of  a  Congress  of  Mothers, 
Mrs.  T.  W.  Birney,  beheving  in  the  necessity  for  or- 
ganized and  earnest  effort  on  the  part  of  the  mothers  of  the 
land  concerning  questions  most  vital  to  the  welfare  of  their 
children  and  the  manifold  interests  of  the  home,  presented  the 
subject  at  some  of  the  Mothers'  Meetings  at  Chautauqua  in 
the  summer  of  1895.  The  earnest  enthusiasm  with  which  it 
was  received  made  it  evident  that  the  thought  needed  only  to  be 
disseminated  in  order  to  be  quickly  accepted  and  acted  upon  by 
hosts  of  conscientious,  thinking  women  throughout  the  world, 
and  to  result  in  a  centralization  of  their  power  toward  the  ac- 
complishment of  great  and  necessary  reforms  in  the  interest  of 
humanity. 

It  was  proposed  to  have  the  Congress  consider  subjects  bear- 
ing upon  the  better  and  broader  spiritual  and  physical,  as  well 
as  mental  training  of  the  young,  such  as  the  value  of  kinder- 
garten work  and  the  extension  of  its  principles  to  more  ad- 
vanced studies,  a  love  of  humanity  and  of  country,  the  physical 
and  mental  evils  resulting  from  some  of  the  present  methods  of 
our  schools,  and  the  advantages  to  follow  from  a  closer  relation 
between  the  influence  of  the  home  and  that  of  institutions  of 
learning.  Of  special  importance  would  be  the  subject  of  the 
means  of  developing  in  children  characteristics  which  would 
elevate  and  ennoble  them,  and  thus  assist  in  overcoming  the 
conditions  which  now  prompt  crime,  and  make  necessary  the 
maintenance  of  jails,  workhouses,  and  reformatories. 

The  impulse  was  found  in  the  love  of  home,  mothers,  fathers 
and  children;  belief  in  the  necessity  for  organized  and  earnest 
efforts  on  the  part  of  the  fathers  and  mothers  of  the  land  con- 

223 


224  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

ceming  questions  most  vital  to  the  welfare  of  the  children  and 
the  home. 

The  direct  object  of  the  Congress,  was,  then,  to  wipe  out  the 
strongholds  of  maternal  ignorance;  to  make  of  every  household 
a  home  by  educating  the  mothers  and  fathers  in  true  parent- 
hood, and  by  bettering  its  conditions,  multiplying  its  pleasures, 
and  creating  more  ideal  surroundings  for  its  children;  to 
purify  the  fountains  of  evil,  and  render  reform  needless;  to 
forestall  philanthropy  by  securing  more  healthful  living,  better 
housing,  more  economical  planning,  purer  amusements,  more 
means  of  self-support;  to  lead  mothers  to  thought  on  their 
own  responsibility,  to  the  end  that  the  evil  resulting  from 
ignorance,  indifference  and  neglect,  be  eradicated;  to,  arouse 
mothers  to  a  full  appreciation  of  educational  methods,  to  the 
duty  and  necessity  of  investigating  methods,  and  to  their  re- 
sponsibility in  the  matter  of  choosing  the  best  educators  for 
their  children. 

Amid  the  maze  of  manifold  theories  and  schemes  for  human 
betterment  the  idea  has  been  growing  that  the  answer  to  the 
crowding  problems  of  the  race  lies  in  the  conditions  and  possi- 
ble development  of  the  childhood  of  the  race,  and  every  organ- 
ization and  every  institution  has  begun  to  give  its  share  of  atten- 
tion to  the  development  of  the  child.  Yet  it  has  remained  for 
this  new  society  to  "take  the  child  and  set  him  in  the  midst," 
making  him  who  is  already  the  center  of  love  the  center  of 
strong  endeavor,  the  key  to  the  closed  gates  of  our  highest 
progress,  the  heart  and  soul  of  our  hope  that  the  world,  becom- 
ing as  a  litUe  child,  may  yet  enter  the  kingdom  of  God. 

!,?*  t?*  Ci5* 

PRESIDENT  ROOSEVELT'S  ADDRESS 

To  the  Delegates  to  the  First  International  Congress  in  America 
on  the  Welfare  of  the  Child,  at  the  White  House,  March  lo,  1908. 

IT  is  a  great  pleasure  to  greet  you  here  this  afternoon.     I 
receive  many  societies  here   in  the  White  House,    many 
organizations  of  good  men  and  women,  striving  to  do  all  that 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  225 

in  them  lies  for  the  betterment  of  our  social  and  civic  condition. 
I  am  glad  to  see  them.  I  believe  in  their  work;  I  want  to 
help  them.  But  there  is  no  other  society  which  I  am  quite  as 
glad  to  receive  as  this.  This  is  the  one  body  that  I  put  even 
ahead  of  the  veterans  of  the  Civil  War;  because  when  all  is 
said  it  is  the  mother,  and  the  mother  only,  who  is  a  better 
citizen  even  than  the  soldier  who  fights  for  his  country.  The 
successful  mother,  the  mother  who  does  her  part  in  rearing  and 
training  aright  the  boys  and  girls  who  are  to  be  the  men  and 
women  of  the  next  generation,  is  of  greater  use  to  the  community 
and  occupies,  if  she  only  would  realize  it,  a  more  honorable,  as 
well  as  a  more  important,  position  than  any  successful  man  in 
it.  .  .  . 

Nothing  in  this  life  that  is  really  worth  having  comes  save 
at  the  cost  of  effort.  I  am  glad  when  I  meet  men  who  have 
fought  for  their  country,  have  served  faithfully  and  well  year 
after  year  for  their  country  at  the  risk  of  their  own  lives;  I 
respect  them  because  they  have  had  something  hard  to  do  and 
have  done  it  well.  When  we  look  back  to  the  Civil  War, 
the  men  whom  we  hold  in  honor  are  not  the  men  who  stayed 
at  home,  but  the  men  who,  whether  they  wore  the  blue  or  wore 
the  gray,  proved  their  truth  by  their  endeavor;  who  dared 
risk  all  for  "the  great  prize  of  death  in  battle,"  as  one  of  our 
noblest  poets  has  phrased  it;  who  spent  year  after  year  at  what 
brought  them  no  money  reward,  at  what  might  result  in  the 
utter  impairment  of  the  chance  of  their  earning  their  livelihood, 
because  it  was  their  duty  to  render  that  service.  In  just  the 
same  way  no  life  of  self-indulgence,  of  mere  vapid  pleasure,  can 
possibly,  even  in  the  one  point  of  pleasure  itself,  yield  so  ample 
a  reward  as  comes  to  the  mother  at  the  cost  of  self-denial,  of 
effort,  of  suffering  in  childbirth,  of  the  long,  slow,  patience- 
trying  work  of  bringing  up  the  children  aright.  No  scheme 
of  education,  no  social  attitude,  can  be  right  unless  it  is  based 
fundamentally  upon  the  recognition  of  the  necessity  of  seeing 
that  the  girl  is  trained  to  understand  the  supreme  dignity,  the 
supreme  usefulness,  of  motherhood.  Unless  the  average 
woman  is  a  good  wife  and  good  mother,  unless  she  bears  a 
sufficient  number  of  children,  so  that  the  race  shall  increase,  and 


226  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

not  decrease,  unless  she  brings  up  these  children  sound  in  soul 
and  mind  and  body — unless  this  is  true  of  the  average  woman, 
no  brilliancy  of  genius,  no  material  prosperity,  no  triumphs  of 
science  and  industry,  will  avail  to  save  the  race  from  ruin  and 
death.  The  mother  is  the  one  supreme  asset  of  national  life; 
she  is  more  important  by  far  than  the  successful  statesman  or 
business  man  or  artist  or  scientist. 

There  are  exceptional  women,  there  are  exceptional  men, 
who  have  other  tasks  to  perform  in  addition  to,  not  in  substi- 
tution for,  the  task  of  motherhood  and  fatherhood,  the  task  of 
providing  the  home  and  of  keeping  it.  But  it  is  the  tasks  con- 
nected with  the  home  that  are  the  fundamental  tasks  of  hu- 
manity. After  all,  we  can  get  along  for  the  time  being  with  an 
inferior  quality  of  success  in  other  lines,  political,  or  business, 
or  of  any  kind;  because  if  there  are  failings  in  such  matters  we 
can  make  them  good  in  the  next  generation;  but  if  the  mother 
does  not  do  her  duty,  there  will  either  be  no  next  generation, 
or  a  next  generation  that  is  worse  than  none  at  all.  In  other 
words,  we  cannot  as  a  nation  get  along  at  all  if  we  haven't  the 
right  kind  of  home  life.  Such  a  life  is  not  only  the  supreme 
duty,  but  also  the  supreme  reward  of  duty.  Every  rightly  con- 
stituted woman  or  man,  if  she  or  he  is  worth  her  or  his  salt, 
must  feel  that  there  is  no  such  ample  reward  to  be  found  any- 
where in  life  as  the  reward  of  children,  the  reward  of  a  happy 
family  life. 

I  abhor  and  condemn  the  man  who  is  brutal,  thoughtless, 
careless,  selfish,  with  women,  and  especially  with  the  women  of 
his  own  household.  The  birth-pangs  make  all  men  the  debtors 
of  all  women.  The  man  is  a  poor  creature  who  does  not 
realize  the  infinite  difficulty  of  the  woman's  task,  who  does  not 
realize  what  is  done  by  her  who  bears  and  rears  the  children; 
who  cannot  even  be  sure  until  the  children  are  well  grown 
that  any  night  will  come  when  she  can  have  it  entirely  to  her- 
self to  sleep  in.  I  abhor  and  condemn  the  man  who  fails  to 
recognize  all  his  obligations  to  the  woman  who  does  her  duty. 
But  the  woman  who  shirks  her  duty  as  wife  and  mother  is  just 
as  heartily  to  be  condemned.  We  despise  her  as  we  despise 
and   condemn   the   soldier   who   flinches   in  battle.     A  good 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  227 

woman,  who  does  full  duty,  is  sacred  in  our  eyes;  exactly 
as  the  brave  and  patriotic  soldier  is  to  be  honored  above  all 
other  men.  But  the  woman  who,  whether  from  cowardice, 
from  selfishness,  from  having  a  false  and  vacuous  ideal,  shirks 
her  duty  as  wife  and  mother,  earns  the  right  to  our  contempt, 
just  as  does  the  man  who,  from  any  motive,  fears  to  do  his 
duty  in  battle  when  the  country  calls  him.  Because  we  so 
admire  the  good  woman,  the  unselfish  woman,  the  far-sighted 
woman,  we  have  scant  patience  with  her  unworthy  sister  who 
fears  to  do  her  duty;  exactly  as,  for  the  very  reason  that  we 
respect  a  man  who  does  his  duty  honestly  and  fairly  in  politics, 
who  works  hard  at  his  business,  who  in  time  of  national  need 
does  his  duty  as  a  soldier,  we  scorn  his  brother  who  idles  when 
he  should  work,  who  is  a  bad  husband,  a  bad  father,  who  does 
his  duty  ill  in  the  family  or  toward  the  state,  who  fears  to  do 
the  work  of  a  soldier  if  the  time  comes  when  a  soldier's  work 
is  needed.  All  honor  to  the  man  or  woman  who  does  duty,  who 
renders  service;  and  we  can  only  honor  him  or  her  if  the  weight 
of  our  condemnation  is  felt  by  those  who  flinch  from  their  duty. 
You  see,  my  guests,  you  have  let  yourselves  in  for  a  sermon. 
I  have  now  almost  come  to  the  end.  Before  I  do,  however, 
I  want  to  ask  your  assistance  for  two  or  three  matters  that  are 
not  immediately  connected  with  the  life  in  the  family  itself, 
but  that  are  of  vital  consequence  to  the  children.  In  the  first 
place,  in  the  schools,  see  that  the  school  work  is  made  as  practi- 
cal as  possible.  For  the  boys  I  want  to  see  training  provided 
that  shall  train  them  toward,  and  not  away  from,  their  life- 
work;  that  will  train  them  toward  the  farm  or  the  shop,  not 
away  from  it.  With  the  girl,  see  that  it  is  not  made  a  matter  j 
of  mirth  that  the  girl  who  goes  to  college  comes  out  unprepared 
to  do  any  of  the  ordinary  duties  of  womanhood.  See,  in  other 
words,  that  with  the  higher  education  which  she  should  have — • 
for  she  should  have  a  right  to  just  as  much  education,  to  just 
as  high  an  education,  as  any  man — see  that  with  that  goes  the 
education  that  will  fit  her  to  do  her  fundamental  work  in  the 
world.  As  regards  our  public  schools  especially  I  want  to  put 
in  a  special  word  in  behalf  of  the  right  kind  of  playgrounds. 
No  school  is  a  good  school  if  it  has  not  a  good  playground. 


228  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Help  the  children  to  play;  and  remember  that  you  can  often 
help  them  most  by  leaving  them  entirely  alone.  I  misread 
them  if  they  themselves  do  not  often  know  how  to  play  better 
than  we  old  folks  can  teach  them.  Remember  that  in  the 
city  especially  it  is  an  outrage  to  erect  a  school  without  erecting 
a  playground  to  go  with  that  school.  It  is  the  gravest  kind  of 
wrong,  not  only  to  the  children  but  to  the  whole  community, 
to  turn  out  the  boys  and  girls,  especially  in  the  congested  part 
of  the  city,  with  no  place  to  play  in  but  the  streets.  There  can 
be  no  more  important  reform  than  to  provide  adequate  play- 
ground; and  a  beginning  should  be  made  here  in  the  District 
of  Columbia. 

You  cannot  have  good  citizens,  good  men  and  women  of 
the  next  generation,  if  the  boys  and  girls  are  worked  in  fac- 
tories to  the  stunting  of  their  moral,  mental,  and  physical  growth. 
Wherever  the  National  Government  can  reach  it  should  do 
away  with  the  evils  of  child  labor,  and  I  trust  this  will  be  done; 
but  much  must  be  done  by  the  actions  of  the  several  State 
legislatures;  and  do,  each  of  you,  in  your  several  States,  all 
that  you  can  to  secure  the  enactment,  and  then  the  enforce- 
ment, of  laws  that  shall  put  a  stop  to  the  employment  of  chil- 
dren of  tender  age  in  doing  what  only  grown  people  should  do. 

The  field  of  your  activities  is  so  very  wide  that  it  would  be 
useless  for  me  to  attempt  to  enumerate  the  various  subjects 
of  which  you  will  and  ought  to  treat.  You  have  come  together 
to  discuss  the  problems  that  more  vitally  than  any  other  affect 
the  real  welfare,  the  well-being  in  the  present  and  the  well- 
being  in  the  future,  of  this  Nation  and  of  all  nations.  I  wish 
you  wisdom  and  good  judgment.  You  must  bring  more  than 
one  quality  to  your  task.  No  mother  can  do  her  duty  in  her 
own  home  without  genuine  tenderness  of  heart,  genuine  senti- 
ment; but  if  she  has  only  sentiment  and  only  tenderness  of 
lieart  she  may  through  folly  do  more  harm  than  another  could 
through  weakness.  You  must  have  the  tenderness,  you  must 
ha\'e  the  sentiment;  but  woe  to  you  and  woe  to  the  children 
who  come  after  you  if  that  is  all  that  you  have.  With  the 
sentiment,  with  the  tenderness  of  heart,  encourage  the  common 
sense  that  will  enable  you  to  correct  the  tenderness  when  it 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  229 

becomes  weakness  and  injustice.  In  addition,  cultivate  what 
in  the  long  run  counts  for  more  than  intellect,  for  more  than 
sentiment — and  that  is  character,  the  sum  of  those  qualities 
which  really  make  up  a  strong,  brave,  tender  man  or  woman. 
You  cannot  get  along,  you  nor  any  one  else,  if  you  develop 
your  intellect  to  the  point  that  you  lose  all  other  things,  all 
other  qualities.  It  does  not  make  any  difference  how  intelli-^ 
gent  a  woman  is,  if  she  looks  upon  her  children  only  with  in- 
telligence, they  are  not  going  to  care  overmuch  for  her  in  re- 
turn. Do  not  forget  that  love  must  come  first;  that  love  is 
what  the  family  is  based  on;  but  don't  do  children,  don't  do 
grown  people  the  dreadful  injustice — through  a  love  that  is 
merely  one  form  of  weakness — of  failing  to  make  the  child  or, 
I  might  add,  the  man,  behave  itself  or  himself.  A  marriage 
should  be  a  partnership  where  each  of  the  two  parties  has  his 
or  her  rights,  where  each  should  be  more  careful  to  do  his  or 
her  duty  than  to  exact  duty  from  the  other  partner;  but  where 
each  must,  in  justice  to  the  other  partner  no  less  than  to  him- 
self or  herself,  exact  the  performance  of  duty  by  that  other 
partner.  .  .  . 

So  with  the  children.  A  hard  and  unloving  mother  does 
infinite  harm  to  her  children;  but  she  does  no  more  harm  than 
the  loving  but  weak  and  foolish  mother  who  does  not  train  the 
children  to  behave  with  respect  for  the  feelings  of  others,  who 
permits  them  to  be  selfish  or  cruel  or  thoughtless.  I  remember 
reading  a  story,  years  ago,  that  greatly  interested  me.  It 
described  how  a  worn,  tired-looking  woman  was  riding  in  the 
cars  with  her  son,  she  sitting  by  the  window.  The  son  was  a 
thoughtless  boy,  and  soon  began  to  whine  and  complain  until 
he  made  his  tired  mother  move  away  from  and  let  him  sit  by 
the  window.  The  observer,  looking  on,  remarked  that  in  the 
future  there  would  be  some  unfortunate  wife  who  would  wonder 
"why  men  are  so  selfish,"  instead  of  placing  the  blame  where 
it  really  ought  to  be  placed — -upon  the  lack  of  strength  of  char- 
acter, the  lack  of  wisdom,  the  lack  of  genuine  love  on  the  part 
of  that  woman  in  not  bringing  her  boy  up  to  be  unselfish  and 
thoughtful  of  others,  so  that  he  might  live  decently  in  his  own 
household,  and  do  his  work  well  in  the  world  at  large. 


230  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

REPRODUCTION  AND  NATURAL  LAW 

BY  MRS.  ALICE  LEE  MOQUE 

IN  the  past  it  has  been  the  generally  accepted  theory  that 
parents  were  merely  the  unconscious  instruments  of  the 
Divine  Spirit,  for  the  working  out  of  his  will,  and  that  the  mental 
and  moral  attributes  of  their  children,  their  temperament, 
health,  character,  and  sex  were  direct  decrees  of  the  Infinite, 
which  it  was  useless  for  the  finite  mind  to  try  to  comprehend  or 
explain. 

To-day  we  are  wiser,  and  have  learned  that  Nature  is  the  great 
exponent  of  sublime  truth,  and  natural  law  the  Creator's  text- 
book, by  which  he  teaches  his  children  the  perfection  of  the 
divine  plan,  and  lifts  them  to  a  higher  plane  of  responsibility. 

In  Nature  it  is  law,  not  chance.  Effect  is  the  natural  se- 
quence of  cause.  A  child,  if  he  puts  his  hand  into  the  fire,  will 
be  burned,  not  to  punish  him  for  having  disobeyed  the  warning 
of  his  parents,  but  to  teach  him  that  he  has  willfully  broken  an 
immutable  law. 

If  there  are  known  laws  governing  reproduction,  just  as 
divinely  ordained  and  enforced  as  the  laws  of  gravity,  of  space, 
and  of  motion,  every  man  and  woman,  rich  or  poor,  high  or 
low,  every  reasoning  creature,  has  a  right  to  know  them,  for 
the  truth  belongs  not  to  individuals,  but  to  all  humanity. 

If  a  child  can  be  well  bom  by  simply  following  certain  under- 
stood laws  of  Nature,  if  the  mental,  moral,  and  physical  condi- 
tion of  the  child  at  birth  and  for  its  entire  existence  is  dependent 
upon  absolute  law,  as  immutable  as  the  motions,  diurnal  and 
annual,  of  the  earth  itself,  or  the  phases  of  the  moon  and  the 
rise  and  fall  of  the  tides,  then  the  parents  who  bring  into  the 
world  an  imperfect  creature  are  just  so  far  culpable,  inasmuch 
as  they  have  failed  to  do  their  whole  duty. 

This  may  sound  severe,  almost  heartless  and  cruel,  to  parents 
with  afflicted  children,  but  we  must  say  it,  for  it  is  the  truth, 
that  the  fathers  and  mothers  of  the  present  may  profit  by  the 
solemn  lesson  taught  by  the  past,  and,  being  shown  their  re- 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  231 

sponsibility  as  parents,  may  fulfill  to  the  uttermost,  so  far  as 
lies  in  their  power,  their  obligations  to  their  own  children  and 
to  the  generations  yet  to  come. 

We  believe  that  in  this  enlightened  era  no  one  has  a  right 
to  marry  into  a  family  where  there  is  known  insanity,  or  even 
partial  imbecility,  and  the  kindred  evils  that  follow  out  to  the 
letter  the  inexorable  law,  "  The  sins  of  the  fathers  shall  be  visited 
upon  the  children. "  Like  begets  like,  the  laws  of  heredity  are 
inflexible,  and  the  child  is  but  the  composite  picture  of  what 
its  parents  are  and  their  progenitors  have  been. 

In  addition  to  woman's  moral  obligation  to  herself,  let  us 
speak  briefly  of  her  duty  to  her  husband — a  duty  as  sacred  as 
the  solemn  vows  taken  at  the  altar  can  make  it — "To  have 
and  to  hold,  to  love  and  to  honor."  This  must  mean  to  re- 
tain by  every  art  and  power  the  love  and  admiration  of  her 
mate,  thereby  promoting  that  perfect  union  of  souls  which  mar- 
riage implies,  and  insuring  not  only  the  happiness  of  the  home 
and  the  mated  pair,  but  the  well-being  of  the  little  ones  who 
may  come  to  bless  them. 

If  I  were  asked  the  great  requisite  for  marital  happiness,  I 
should  unhesitatingly  reply,  health.  By  a  wise  and  persistent 
observance  of  the  simple  laws  relating  to  exercise,  diet,  dress, 
ventilated  dwellings,  and  other  sanitary  conditions,  we  may  all 
hope  to  obtain  this  priceless  blessing,  from  which  so  many  others 
flow. 

The  woman  with  a  good  constitution,  even  if  she  be  not  either 
young  or  handsome,  if  she  has  the  bright  eye,  the  clear  mind, 
vivacity,  and  buoyant  spirits  which  only  a  woman  physically 
sound  may  know,  has  an  attractiveness  of  her  own  that  will  not 
only  increase  her  comfort  and  happiness,  but  will  be  an  impor- 
tant factor  in  aiding  her  to  fulfill  her  whole  duty  as  woman, 
wife,  and  mother. 

Our  duty  is  clear.  We  must  recognize  our  responsibility  not 
alone  to  ourselves  and  the  present,  but  to  posterity  and  the 
future.  No  woman  has  the  right  to  be  selfish,  and  least  of  all  j 
will  the  tender,  loving,  maternal  heart  forget  that  every  sob, 
every  tear,  every  sigh,  every  fear,  is  a  crime  committed  against 
her  own  unborn  child,  and  from  which  it  will  suffer  throughout 


232  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

its  whole  life.  Before  birth  is  the  time  to  prove  the  strength 
and  power  of  mother-love,  not  afterward,  when  it  is  too  late  to 
undo  the  grievous  mistake,  the  fatal  wrong  our  folly  has  com- 
mitted. The  devotion  of  a  lifetime,  alas!  will  not  atone  to  the 
child  for  antecedent  neglect. 

The  day  will  come  when  the  rights  of  the  child  to  be  well 
born  will  be  recognized  and  respected.  In  that  day  the  "de- 
fective" will  demand  the  reason  for  its  puny  limbs,  impaired 
mind,  misshapen  spine,  pain-racked  body — a  life  of  suffering 
with  blasted  hopes — and  the  world  will  not  condone  or  palliate 
the  cruelty  and  crime  committed  against  the  unfortunate  child, 
deprived  of  its  birthright,  on  the  old  plea  of  ignorance  or  the 
pretense  that  God  willed  a  defective  should  be  born — a  pre- 
tense that  is  contradicted  by  every  law,  human  and  divine. 

^*  c?*  t^* 

DIETETICS 

BY  MRS.  LOUISE  E.  HOGAN 

THE  Study  of  dietetics  as  applied  to  the  nursery  and  the 
period  of  childhood  is  constantly  brought  to  our  notice 
as  an  important  phase  of  domestic  education. 

The  first  step  we  should  take  as  mothers  in  regard  to  the 
careful  feeding  of  our  children  should  be  to  convince  ourselves 
thoroughly  of  its  necessity. 

Many  mothers  may  say:  "  But  I  don't  need  any  dietetic  rules 
for  my  baby  of  eighteen  months  or  two  years.  He  eats  every- 
thing, and  is  quite  well."  Dr.  L.  Emmett  Holt,  of  the  Babies' 
Hospital  of  New  York,  says  he  has  had  quite  a  large  experience 
with  those  children  who  "ate  everything"  and  seemed  to 
relish  it,  and  has  followed  a  number  of  them  to  their  graves 
as  the  ultimate  result  of  such  unreasonable  and  inconsiderate 
practice. 

Dr.  Rotch,  Professor  of  Children's  Diseases  at  Harvard,  says 
it  is  worse  than  folly  for  mothers  to  attempt  at  an  early  age,  as 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  233 

is  frequently  done,  to  accustom  their  children  to  the  use  of 
everything  and  anything  from  the  table. 

Prof.  Fonssagrives,  of  Paris,  says  the  number  of  cases  of  dis- 
ease which  can  be  arrested  in  children  by  instituting  a  preven- 
tive diet  is  almost  incredible.  Rousseau  dwells  strongly  upon 
the  facts  that  a  weak  body  in  a  child  enfeebles  the  soul;  that  the 
education  of  man  begins  at  his  birth;  that  simplicity  in  diet  is 
an  absolute  necessity  for  sound  physical  growth;  and  that  the 
most  dangerous  period  in  human  life  is  the  interval  between 
birth  and  the  age  of  twelve.  He  also  says,  in  speaking  of  mental 
growth,  that  the  soul  must  have  leisure  to  perfect  its  powers 
before  it  is  called  upon  to  use  them.  This  is  equally  true  of 
physical  growth.  We  are  working  for  future  resistance,  not  for 
immediate  results  only,  when  we  consider  the  dietetic  and  hygi- 
enic needs  of  our  children,  and  we  must  not  forget  that  there 
is  a  lifetime  for  mental  development,  and  only  part  of  one  during 
which  the  physical  building-up  process  can  be  regulated.  If  we 
will  but  keep  in  mind  Rousseau's  suggestive  statement  that  the 
most  important,  the  most  useful  rule  in  all  education  is  not  to 
gain  time,  but  to  lose  it,  we  will  move  slowly  but  carefully  in 
our  work  of  building  up  a  sound  mind  in  a  sound  body.  Just 
as  at  first  in  mental  education  we  endeavor  to  shield  a  child 
from  evil  and  error,  instead  of  directly  teaching  virtue  and 
truth,  so  in  physical  education,  prevention  instead  of  cure 
should  be  our  watchword.  Froebel  says  parents  and  nurses 
should  ever  remember,  as  underlying  every  precept  in  this 
direction,  the  general  principles  that  simplicity  and  frugality 
in  food  and  in  other  physical  needs  during  the  years  of  childhood 
enhance  man's  power  of  attaining  happiness  and  vigor — true 
creativeness  in  every  respect.  He  says  that  if  parents  would 
consider  that  not  only  much  individual  and  personal  happiness, 
but  even  much  domestic  happiness  and  general  prosperity  de- 
pend on  this,  how  very  differently  they  would  act;  but  here  the 
foolish  mother,  there  the  childish  father  is  to  blame.  We  see 
them  give  their  children  all  kinds  of  poison  in  every  form, 
coarse  and  fine.  That  this  is  true,  even  to-day — fifty  years 
later — shows  how  little  advance  has  been  made  in  general  in 
the  direction  of  dietary  reform.     Incredible  as  it  may  seem,  I 


234  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

have  seen  a  child  of  four  drink  beer — from  habit — and  I  was 
looked  upon  in  the  light  of  a  faddist  for  protesting  where  I  was 
not  properly  introduced. 

Another  instance  of  this  kind  I  noted  while  awaiting  my 
turn  one  day  in  the  office  of  a  prominent  New  York  physician 
for  children,  when  I  saw  a  mother  with  a  child  apparently  two 
years  old  leave  the  house  for  a  few  moments  to  get  something, 
as  I  heard  her  say,  "to  quiet  the  child,"  who  was  crying.  As 
she  went  out  she  said  to  the  servant  at  the  door  that  she  had 
brought  the  child  to  the  physician  because  he  wasn't  well,  and 
wouldn't  eat.  She  returned  in  a  few  minutes,  and  it  was  eating 
a  so-called  ripe  banana.  The  skin  was  green,  and  I  felt  im- 
pelled to  send  word  to  the  physician  to  forewarn  him,  as  the 
mother's  turn  preceded  mine,  but  I  did  not  do  it.  I  think  I 
was  prevented  by  the  apparent  hopelessness  of  convincing  such 
a  mother  that  she  was  doing  harm,  and  both  the  child  and 
physician  had  my  sympathy  for  various  reasons. 

Too  much  stress  can  not  be  laid  upon  the  necessity  in  infant 
feeding  for  consulting  physicians  in  regard  to  substitute  feeding 
and  all  important  changes  to  be  made  in  a  growing  child's 
diet,  and  equally  upon  a  strict  following  to  the  letter  of  all 
directions  given,  without  relying  too  implicitly  upon  others 
for  supervision  where  personal  attention  is  necessary.  Condi- 
tions requiring  a  special  knowledge  of  dietetics  are  met  with  in 
infants  as  well  as  in  older  children,  and  it  is  true  that  the  im- 
portance of  receiving  a  physician's  advice  upon  the  question  of 
food  is  not  always  duly  estimated  by  mothers.  On  the  other 
hand,  physicians,  as  a  rule,  in  their  preoccupied  and  busy  lives, 
are  too  much  inclined  to  think  that  a  mother  knows  what  seems 
simple  to  them;  hence,  unless  they  are  directly  asked  for  in- 
formation, they  are  likely  to  trust  to  the  mother's  judgment  for 
carrying  out  small  details.  In  one  instance  brought  to  my  notice 
a  physician  was  hurriedly  called  ten  miles  away  at  midnight  to 
see  an  infant  that  was  apparently  very  ill.  He  suggested  giving 
the  child  some  water  to  drink,  which  was  done.  The  child  slept, 
and  there  was  no  further  difficulty.  The  mother  said  her  physi- 
cian had  never  told  her  of  the  necessity  for  giving  the  infant 
water  to  drink.     He  no  doubt  took  it  for  granted  that  the  moth- 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  235 

er's  common  sense  would  suggest  the  use  of  water  from  the  very 
beginning  of  the  child's  life,  and,  on  the  other  hand,  the  mother 
waited  for  specific  directions  in  every  detail. 

Relative  to  this  whole  subject,  Sir  Henry  Thompson,  a  noted 
English  physician,  and  an  authority  upon  dietetics,  says:  "I 
have  come  to  the  conclusion  that  more  than  half  the  disease 
which  embitters  the  middle  and  latter  half  of  life  is  due  to 
avoidable  errors  in  diet  [to  which  might  be  added  'more  par- 
ticularly in  early  years'].  .  .  and  that  more  mischief  in  the 
form  of  actual  disease,  of  impaired  vigor,  and  of  shortened  life 
accrues  to  civilized  man .  .  .  from  erroneous  habits  of  eating 
than  from  the  habitual  use  of  alcoholic  drink,  considerable  as  I 
know  that  evil  to  be," 

Schools,  public  and  private,  should  not  overlook  the  impor- 
tance of  the  study  of  dietetics,  and  the  press,  on  account  of  its 
ability  to  reach  the  people,  must  realize  the  opportunity  of 
supplying  the  need  felt  everywhere  for  practical  instruction. 
Then  all  mothers  and  home-makers  in  the  land,  those  indirect- 
nation-makers,  will  easily  come  to  understand  the  underlying 
principles  involved,  and  will  apply  this  knowledge  in  such  a  way 
as  to  benefit  all  who  are  dependent  upon  their  efforts. 

^*  ^i*  ^* 

CHARACTER-BUILDING   IN   EDUCATION 

BY   MRS.    ELLEN   A.    RICHARDSON 

WE  hear  a  great  deal  about  the  sacredness  and  the  respon- 
sibilities of  motherhood.  I  wish  we  might  say  more 
about  the  sacredness  and  responsibility  of  the  high  office  of 
teacher,  recognizing  the  profession  to  be  the  highest  of  all  pro- 
fessions, exacting  a  high  standard  in  teachers,  and  then,  appre- 
ciating the  full  dignity  of  their  great  mission,  make  teaching  a 
grateful  task. 

I  am  sorry  to  say  the  social  recognition  of  the  teacher  in 
America  and  the  remunerative  recognition  are  not  what  they 
should  be  when  we  consider  the  noble  and  imperative  work  to 


236  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

be  done.  Statistics  show  that  the  cleverest  members  of  the  pro- 
fession have  little  more  than  enough  for  the  mere  necessities  of 
life.  Without  much  leisure  to  grow  ahead  of  their  students, 
without  the  money  to  purchase  higher  advantages,  what  wonder 
that  teachers  become  too  often  and  too  soon  mere  guide-boards 
to  text-books,  until,  first  from  necessity  and  then  from  will, 
teachers  under  these  circumstances  consent  to  routine  and  sys- 
tem, and  soon  lack  freshness  and  inspiration,  while  education 
becomes  a  deadened  and  deadening  process,  lacking  all  vitalizing 
power  to  awaken  the  slumbering  character  which  lies  in  every 
human  being ! 

The  wonderful  kindergarten,  with  teachers  who  have  been 
trained  to  think  and  originate,  rests  upon  eternal  foundations; 
its  work  is  all  directed  to  the  unfoldment  of  soul- powers;  its 
objective  and  subjective  teaching  makes  it  a  grand  power  in  the 
opening  years  of  a  child's  life.  If  we  can  have  no  more,  thank 
Heaven  for  this!  But  we  must  have  more!  It  is  the  activity 
•  of  the  mind  and  heart  which  educates  and  determines  char- 
acter. 

We  are  all  f  amihar  with  the  sentence,  "Knowledge  is  power." 
Let  us  substitute  for  the  word  "knowledge"  the  word  "char- 
acter," and  say,  "Character  is  power,"  and  we  shall  have  a 
new  goal  and  modify  our  methods.  External  conditions  and 
circumstances  over  which  we  may  have  control  rule  the  measure 
of  our  character,  and  decide  the  "quantity  of  being"  each 
individual  may  appropriate  to  himself.  To  do  this,  first  of 
all  we  should  find  out  in  what  direction  lie  the  abilities  of  each 
child.  Its  particular  love  of  special  occupations  will  be  a 
good  index  to  this.  We  are  all  conscious  that  we  have  powers 
within  us  which  we  can  command  easily;  they  seem  to  be  wait- 
ing to  be  called  out.  This  is  the  mission  of  education;  it  is  in- 
troducing human  beings  to  their  native  powers;  it  is  teaching 
them  the  use  of  those  powers  as  tools  with  which  to  build  their 
lives  and  character. 

To  call  forth,  to  draw  out,  then,  the  given  abilities  in  such 
a  way  that  each  individual  may  find  his  or  her  right  place  in  the 
world,  and  become  of  use  to  themselves,  a  comfort  to  others  as 
well  as  to  themselves.     Adding  thus  to  the  harmony  of  the 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  237 

world  would  be  the  result  of  such  an  educating  process,  creating 
a  heaven  on  earth,  and  a  condition  which  does  not  leave  the 
question  debatable  as  to  whether  the  training  of  character 
morally  or  the  training  of  his  intellectual  life  alone  is  of  the 
greatest  value. 

A  man  may  be  smart  with  an  intellectual  education,  but  he 
can  never  be  great  without  soul-culture. 

Well  it  is  for  our  future  prospects  that  such  excellent  strides 
have  been  made  by  the  kindergartens,  the  kitchen-gardens,  the 
manual-training  schools,  and  all  the  industrial  schools  which 
are  at  the  base  of  true  education.  But  the  car  of  progress 
must  run  on  the  double  track  of  theory  and  practice.  After 
teaching  the  soul  to  use  its  own  powers,  to  think  boldly,  clearly, 
grandly,  and  beneficially  for  its  own  welfare,  it  must  be  led  to 
think  of  its  value  in  the  divine  economy  of  all  life;  it  must 
think,  work,  and  live  for  the  welfare  of  all  mankind,  or  there 
will  be  no  expansion  of  character.  There  can  be  no  "quantity 
of  being"  if  there  is  no  proper  use  of  the  powers  of  the  being- 
no  proper  exercise  of  the  functions  of  the  mind  and  life  in  out- 
ward forms.  Without  it  there  can  be  no  development  of  the 
spiritual  being,  any  more  than  there  is  development  of  muscle  in 
the  arm  which  never  moves  itself. 

As  we  claim  that  the  first  step  in  the  development  of  the 
powers  of  life  is  in  educating  the  soul  to  think  and  act  for  itself, 
so  we  claim  that  the  second  step,  to  insure  an  ever- increasing 
influx  of  powers,  is  in  the  use  of  those  powers  for  others  and  for 
human  progress.  Such  exercise  will  bring  bright  thoughts 
which  have  never  been  thought  before;  thoughts  which  will 
glitter  as  new  coin  from  the  treasury  of  heaven;  thoughts  ac- 
cording to  the  demands  of  the  age  and  existing  conditions,  by 
which  great  mysteries  shall  be  illuminated,  and  the  problems 
of  science,  government,  and  sociology  shall  be  solved. 

Education  should  turn  to  practical  ends,  but  while  training 
men  to  practical  things  it  should  be  done  with  a  divine  impulse, 
soul  and  body  taking  the  training  for  harmonious  action, 
love  and  wisdom  creating  the  being  whose  force  for  good  shall 
make  the  character  strong.  Then  would  business  become  moral 
and  the  world  better. 


238  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

SYMPATHETIC  PARENTHOOD 

BY   MRS.    THEODORE    W.    BERNEY 

THE  Mothers'  Congress  and  its  work  is  a  living  epitome 
of  sympathetic  motherhood.  As  Daniel  Boone,  the 
brave  pioneer  in  Kentucky,  placing  his  ear  to  the  earth  beneath 
the  shade  of  primeval  forests,  exclaimed  to  his  companions: 
"  I  hear  the  tramp  of  unborn  millions,  who  will,  in  the  years  to 
come,  cross  this  land,"  So  we  tell  you,  we  are  working,  not 
only  for  the  children  of  to-day,  but  for  the  untold  numbers  who 
are  even  now  journeying  earthward,  and  who  will  rise  up  and 
bless  you  for  what  you  and  every  other  organization  in  the 
world  are  doing  to  give  us  the  ideal  civilization.  Cultivate  sym- 
pathy in  your  children,  but  beware  lest  you  overdo  this  and 
make  them  morbid.  Like  all  other  great  truths,  it  is  best 
y  taught  by  example.  Children  are  naturally  sympathetic.  Look- 
ing from  my  window  one  day  on  the  eve  of  a  summer  departure, 
I  saw  two  little  figures  going  slowly  down  the  path,  and  care- 
fully sprinkling  something  as  they  went.  Upon  inquiry  at 
luncheon  as  to  what  they  were  doing,  the  eldest  replied,  "  Oh, 
Mamma,  we  are  sprinkling  bread-crumbs,  so  the  poor  little 
ants  won't  get  hungry  while  we  are  away." 

Many  heart-broken  lonely  men  and  women  suffer  so  much 
before  they  attain  unto  the  joys  of  sympathy  with  and  of  ser- 
vice for  others,  and  this  they  might  often  have  been  spared, 
had  they  been  encouraged  to  think  of  others  in  their  childhood. 
/  If  we  could  only  know  all  that  a  little  child  feels  and  thinks, 
we  should  be  so  tender,  so  considerate  of  them;  we  hurt  them 
in  a  thousand  ways,  we  grown-ups;  we  are  so  absorbed  with 
our  point  of  view,  we  cannot  see  theirs,  and  some  mothers  and 
fathers  never  realize  the  full  need  for  sympathy  until  the  baby 
hands  can  no  longer  give  that  little  tug  at  coat  or  skirts  with 
which  all  parents  are  familiar,  and  the  baby  voice  has  passed 
forever  from  earth,  and  there  remains  only  that  unending 
tugging  at  the  heart-strings,  which  we  call  vain  regret. 

Mary  Wood  Allen  relates  that  a  young  merchant,  intent  on 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  239 

business,  while  rushing  across  the  city  on  his  wheel,  met  with  a 
colhsion,  resulting  in  bruises  and  dislocations  which  kept  him 
from  active  duties  for  a  few  days.  The  mental  currents,  which 
had  been  rushing  out  along  lines  of  business  activity,  were  sud- 
denly checked,  and  boiled  and  seethed  in  irritation  and  rebellion. 
"  It  would  not  have  been  so  hard, "  he  said,  "if  I  could  have  been 
let  down  easy;  but  this  sudden  stoppage  from  a  point  of  intense 
activity  to  a  state  of  enforced  quietness  is  almost  unbearable." 
One  evening,  while  lying  upon  his  sofa,  he  noticed  that  his  little 
boy,  a  bright  little  fellow  of  four  years,  was  remaining  up  after 
his  usual  bedtime,  and,  calling  the  nurse,  he  commanded  her  to 
take  the  child  to  bed.  The  little  fellow  resisted  with  kicks  and 
screams,  was  scolded  and  slapped  by  his  father  into  sullen 
acquiescence  and  carried  off  rebelliously  to  bed.  "I  declare," 
said  the  father,  "  that  child  is  getting  to  be  incorrigible.  I  shall 
certainly  have  to  take  him  severely  in  hand." 

This  remark  was  addressed  to  a  friend,  a  woman  of  expe- 
rience, who,  sitting  in  the  room,  had  been  a  witness  to  the  pro- 
ceedings. The  comment  of  the  father  opened  the  way  for  the 
expression  of  thoughts  which  were  welling  in  her  mind.  "Did 
you  notice  what  the  child  was  doing  when  you  ordered  him  to 
bed?"  she  said.  "Why,  no;  not  particularly.  He  was  play- 
ing, I  believe."  "He  was  very  busy,"  said  the  friend.  "He 
had  a  grocery  store  in  one  comer  of  the  room,  a  telephone  in 
another,  and  a  magnificent  train  of  cars  with  a  coal-scuttle  en- 
gine. He  was  taking  orders  from  the  telephone,  doing  up 
packages  in  the  grocery  store  and  delivering  them  by  train. 
He  had  just  very  courteously  assured  Mrs.  Brown  that  she 
should  shortly  have  a  pound  of  rice  pudding  and  a  bushel  of 
baked  potatoes;  had  done  up  a  pumpkin  pie  for  Mrs.  Smith, 
when  he  was  rudely  disturbed  in  his  business  by  Sarah  and 
carried  off  to  bed.  He  resented,  and  probably  if  he  could  have 
put  his  thoughts  into  words  would  have  said  just  what  you  did  a 
short  time  ago — that  if  he  could  have  been  let  down  easy  it 
would  not  have  been  so  hard.  But  to  be  dropped  suddenly 
right  in  the  midst  of  business  was  intolerable.  Now,  he  knows 
that  to-morrow  the  grocery  store  will  have  been  demolished, 
the  telephone  will  have  disappeared,  the  train  will  have  been 


240  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

wrecked,  and  if  he  goes  into  business  again  he  will  have  to  begin 
at  the  foundation.  You  think  your  experience  is  hard  enough; 
but  you  know  there  are  others  at  your  place  of  business  who 
are  looking  after  things  as  well  as  they  can.  How  would  you 
feel  if  you  knew  that  your  store  was  demolished  and  had  to  be 
built  up  again  from  the  foundation?"  "Oh!  well,"  said  the 
father,  "but  that  is  business.  The  boy  was  only  playing." 
"The  boy's  occupation  to  him  was  business,  just  as  much  as 
yours  is  to  you;  his  mental  activities  were  just  as  intense;  the 
sudden  checking  of  his  currents  of  thought  were  just  as  hard  to 
bear,  and  his  kicks  and  screams  were  no  more  unreasonable  in 
him  than  have  been  your  exclamations  and  sufferings  during 
the  time  that  you  have  been  ignominiously  consigned  to  bed. 
You  have  been  worrying  over  plans  that  were  suddenly  con- 
fused because  of  your  accident;  he  goes  to  bed  feeling  that 
Mrs.  Brown  would  be  disappointed  because  she  didn't  get  her 
rice  pudding,  and  it  was  just  as  hard  for  him  to  bear  this  as  it 
was  for  you  to  bear  your  experience."  "Well,  what  would  you 
have  me  do?"  said  the  father.  "Would  you  let  the  child  sit 
up  ah  night  because  he  is  interested  in  his  play?"  "No,  but 
you  might  have  let  him  do^^•n  easy.  Suppose  you  had  given 
him  fifteen  minutes  in  which  to  rearrange  his  thoughts.  Sup- 
pose you  had  called  him  up  and  said:  'Well,  Mr.  Grocer,  I 
would  like  to  give  you  some  orders,  but  I  see  that  it  is  about 
time  for  your  store  to  close,  and  I  shall  have  to  wait  until  to- 
morrow.' No  doubt  the  litde  grocer  would  have  been  willing 
to  have  filled  your  orders  at  once;  but  you  could  have  said: 
'  Oh,  no.  Shops  must  close  on  time,  so  that  the  clerks  can  go 
home.  There  will  be  plenty  of  time  to-morrow.  I  see  you 
still  have  some  goods  to  deliver,  and  your  engineer  is  getting 
very  anxious  to  reach  the  end  of  his  run.  In  about  fifteen 
minutes  the  engine  must  go  into  the  roundhouse  and  the  engi- 
neer must  go  home  and  go  to  bed,  so  as  to  be  ready  for  work 
to-morrow.' 

"  Do  you  not  see  that  this  would  have  turned  the  thoughts  of 
the  child  into  just  the  line  that  you  wanted  him  to  go?  He 
would  have  been  glad  to  close  up  his  shop,  because  that  is  the 
way  men  do;  and  as  the  little  engineer  at  the  end  of  a  run  he 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  241 

would  have  been  very  glad  to  go  to  bed  and  rest.  Instead  of  a 
rebellious  child  sobbing  himself  sulkily  to  sleep  with  an  inde- 
structible feeling  of  injustice  rankling  in  his  heart,  as  a  happy 
little  engineer  he  vould  have  gone  willingly  to  bed,  to  think 
with  loving  kindness  of  that  father  who  had  sympathized  with 
him  and  helped  him  to  close  his  day's  labor  satisfactorily." 
"I  see,"  said  the  father,  "and  I  am  ashamed  of  myself.  If  I 
could  waken  him  I  would  go  to  him  and  ask  him  to  forgive  me. 
Sarah,  bring  Robbie  here."  "He  is  asleep,"  was  the  reply. 
"Never  mind;  bring  him  anyhow." 

The  girl  lifted  the  sleeping  boy  and  carried  him  to  his  father's 
arms.  The  child's  face  was  flushed  and  tear-stained;  his  little 
fists  were  clenched  and  the  long-drawn,  sobbing  breath  showed 
with  what  a  perturbed  spirit  he  had  entered  into  sleep.  "  Poor 
little  chap,"  said  the  father  penitently,  as  he  kissed  the  cheek 
moist  with  weeping,  "can  you  forgive  your  father,  my  boy?" 
The  child  did  not  waken;  but  his  hands  gently  unclosed,  his 
whole  body  relaxed,  and,  nestling  his  head  more  closely  against 
his  father's  breast,  he  raised  one  chubby  hand  and  patted  the 
father's  cheek.  It  was  as  if  the  loving  voice  had  penetrated 
through  the  encasing  flesh  to  the  child's  spirit,  and  he  had 
answered  love  with  love;  and  they  wifl  always  answer  love 
with  love. 

tff^  %^i  t5* 

TRAINING  OUR  DAUGHTERS 

BY  MRS.  FREDERIC  SCHOFF 

IS  there  a  woman  here  who  feels  that  when  she  assumed  the 
duties  and  responsibilities  of  wife  and  mother  she  knew 
all  she  needed  to  know  in  order  to  fulfill  those  duties  properly  ? 
Do  we  not  feel  that  with  our  education  something  might  have 
been  given  us  that  would  have  been  of  practical  value  in  the 
home  and  the  care  of  children?  Broad  culture  is  helpful,  but 
specific  training  is  necessary  for  all  professions,  and  for  none 
more  so  than  for  the  rearing  of  children  and  the  judicious  care 
of  a  home.     Yet  this  necessary  training  forms  no  part  of  the 


242  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

education  of  our  daughters.  By  far  the  majority  of  girls  marry 
and  have  the  care  of  home,  husband  and  children,  yet  we  ig- 
nore all  preparation  for  such  duties.  Why  this  strange  reti- 
cence and   reluctance   to   mention   such   important  subjects? 

Why  not  teach  our  daughters,  at  the  proper  time,  the  essen- 
tials of  a  happy  marriage  ?  Teach  them  that  wealth  and  social 
position  count  for  nothing,  unless  united  with  purity  of 
thought  and  life,  honesty  of  purpose  and  high  ideals.  For 
genuine  happiness  and  a  union  which  will  deepen  in  strength 
and  beauty,  a  character  which  will  command  respect  is  essen- 
tial. If  such  standards  were  required  by  young  women  in 
choosing  a  husband,  marriage  and  parenthood  would  mean  the 
highest  happiness,  and  only  when  such  standards  prevail  can 
the  marriage  relation  be  what  God  intended.  In  such  a  union 
purity,  high  ideals  and  noble  purpose  are  of  far  more  conse- 
quence than  wealth  or  position.  We  neglect  this  training, 
and  the  choice  is  made  blindly,  and  the  duties  of  wives  and 
mothers  are  assumed  without  the  laiowledge  which  is  necessary 
to  perfect  the  lives  of  husband  and  children.  To  attempt  to 
make  a  home  and  care  for  a  family  in  sickness  and  in  health 
without  preparation,  is  parallel  to  a  physician  attempting  the 
practice  of  medicine  without  study  and  with  the  expectation  of 
gaining  knowledge  from  experiments  on  his  first  patients.  We 
would  be  horrified  at  the  temerity  of  such  a  physician,  but  we 
complacently  leave  our  girls  without  such  instruction  as  will 
make  them  thrifty  wives  and  capable  mothers. 

Girls  are  not  to  blame.  We  direct  their  education,  and  we 
ignore  the  necessity  for  the  study  of  such  things  as  cooking, 
nursing  and  laundry-work,  and  we  would  not  dream  of  teaching 
them  how  to  care  for  a  babe  physically  or  spiritually.  Thus  the 
highest,  holiest  duty  of  womanhood  is  left  to  be  performed  with- 
out previous  preparation  or  knowledge.  Under  these  circum- 
stances, can  we  wonder  that  many  homes  are  failures;  many 
men  and  women  depraved  and  distorted  in  character  ?  A  false 
conception  of  the  nobility  of  work  has  given  to  many  mothers 
the  feeling  that  work  is  menial  and  not  desirable  for  our  daugh- 
ters. No  task,  however  lowly,  is  menial,  if  the  proper  spirit  is 
put  into  it,  and  knowledge  of  practical  things  on  the  part  of  the 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  243 

home-maker  will  remove  much  discomfort  and  unhappiness  in 
the  marital  life.  Even  with  wealth,  the  administration  of  a 
home  will  be  wiser  if  the  wife  knows  when  a  thing  is  properly 
done,  or  can  teach  an  ignorant  servant  how  to  do  it  properly. 
Unless  a  woman  has  a  practical  knowledge  of  work  herself,  she 
cannot  tell  what  she  ought  to  require  of  others.  Half  of  the 
difficulties  with  sen^ants  come  from  ignorance  on  the  part  of  the 
mistress. 

The  most  successful  business  men  have  all  been  trained  in 
ihe  practical  details  of  the  business  in  which  they  are  engaged, 
and  this  practical  knowledge  is  the  basis  of  their  success,  making 
them  better  prepared  to  manage  such  business  and  more  just  to 
their  employes.  A  woman  to  be  well  equipped  for  the  work  she 
undertakes  needs  the  same  practical  training.  Woman  always 
will  be  the  home-maker,  wife  and  mother,  and  while  the  high- 
est culture  should  be  hers,  the  study  for  this  culture  should  not 
exclude  that  knowledge  which  she  wall  need  the  most.  If  a  girl 
can  receive  this  training  from  her  mother,  there  can  be  no  better 
teacher,  but  how  many  of  us  are  capable  of  giving  it?  Then 
there  are  many  mothers  who  w^ould  not  value  this  training,  and 
in  order  to  reach  the  certain  benefits  it  should  be  taught  in  the 
public  schools,  and  both  common-school  education  and  domes- 
tic training  should  be  made  compulsory.  The  well-being  and 
health  of  another  generation  demand  that  the  study  of  the  child 
and  the  care  of  the  home  should  be  taught  in  the  schools  all 
over  our  land,  and  no  girl  should  be  given  a  diploma  until 
she  can  pass  an  examination  in  the  proper  methods  of  bathing, 
clothing  and  nourishing  infants,  as  well  as  in  physiology,  cook- 
ery, hyjiene  and  all  the  details  of  home  life. 

If  she  cannot  have  both,  better  far  omit  some  other  studies 
and  lay  firmly  the  foundation  stones  of  proper  preparation  for 
the  life  the  majority  of  women  live.  .  . 

It  is  to  the  girls  of  to-day,  to  their  earnest  thought  on  child 
culture,  that  we  must  look  for  the  greatest  good.  But  it  rests 
with  you,  the  mothers  of  to-day,  to  see  that  this  is  made  possi- 
ble. If  you  will  give  your  children  the  light  which  has  come  to 
you  from  life's  experience,  if  you  will  encourage  them  to  reverent- 
ly investigate  the  mysteries  of  life,  and  to  use  the  knowledge 


244  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

gained  for  the  good  of  the  race,  you  will  have  performed  a  duty 
to  posterity  greater  than  you  can  realize,  for  its  benefits  will 
grow,  in  ever-widening  circles,  long  after  you  have  passed  on  to 
the  life  beyond. 

^%  ^%  ^% 

THE  NEEDS  OF  FEEBLE-MINDED  CHILDREN 

BY  MARTEN  W.  BARR,  M.  D. 

WE  enter  upon  a  new  century  of  work  showing  greater 
possibilities  and  demanding  a  yet  greater  advance,  and 
it  is  here  that  mothers  can  help  us.  Statistics  show  in  the 
United  States  alone  one  hundred  thousand  mental  defectives, 
and  of  these  but  about  eight  thousand  are  provided  for  in  the 
twenty-four  large  institutions  now  in  existence.  Many  of  these 
institutions  are  already  filled  to  repletion,  and  unfortunately 
with  a  large  proportion  of  the  idiot  or  untrainable  class.  In 
this  respect  the  English  are  far  wiser  than  we,  for  even  with  the 
title  of  "Homes  for  Idiotic  and  Mental  Defectives,"  they  do 
not  admit  the  idiots  into  their  training-schools  but  care  for 
them  in  asylums  apart;  the  economic  and  moral  value  of  such 
an  arrangement  being  self-evident. 

Not  alone  from  this  standpoint  will  our  work  require  a  simi- 
lar arrangement  in  the  near  future;  we  not  only  need  more 
space  with  entire  concentration  of  energy  upon  our  legitimate 
work  of  training,  but  a  new  element  not  included  in  the  last 
census  will  soon  be  pressing  for  admission.  Results  of  legisla- 
tion under  the  compulsory  education  act  show  in  the  city  of 
Philadelphia  alone  102 1  truants,  "children  not  to  be  desired 
in  the  regular  grades."  The  committee  reports:  "There  are 
some  children  who  are  mischief-makers  in  the  regular  schools 
who  arc  better  out  than  in."  Special  schools  are  to  be  opened 
for  those  who  are  incorrigible  or  who  need  special  assistance  in 
study.  This  is  but  following  similar  experiences  in  England 
and  on  the  Continent,  based  upon  corresponding  pressing  needs. 
Some  of  these  children  doubtless  are  backward  from  mere  phys- 
ical defect  which  may  be  overcome,  but  a  large  majority  of  these 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  245 

"mischief-makers"  in  the  schools  will  soon  be  proven  "mis- 
chief-makers" in  society  and,  recognized  as  defectives,  they  will 
naturally  drift  into  training-schools  for  the  feeble-minded.  To 
receive  and  train  them  and  also  to  care  for  present  demands  we 
must  be  freed  from  our  untrainable  population,  and  turn  our 
asylum-wards  into  workshops  and  school-rooms.  The  pro- 
viding of  homes  for  idiots  and  for  epileptics  must  therefore  be 
the  first  step  in  clearing  the  way  for  extending  the  work  of 
training  mental  defectives;  but  to  this  view  the  public  must  be 
educated,  and  who  can  do  this  so  ably  as  the  mothers? 

Furthermore,  the  training  of  an  abnormal  person,  especially  if 
such  training  is  not  begun  early,  covers  a  period  four  times 
that  required  for  a  normal  child.  A  continuous  stream  flow- 
ing in  from  the  public  schools,  of  children  tested  and  proven 
mental  or  moral  defectives,  and  the  necessity  of  their  permanent 
sequestration  recognized,  will  soon  overcrowd  our  training 
schools  unless  there  be  some  additional  outlet.  And  just  here 
we  come  face  to  face  with  the  great  question  of  the  future,  the 
unsolved  problem  of  the  past,  a  question  asked  of  us  every  day: 
"For  what  are  you  training  the  imbecile?  What  place  can  be 
found  for  this  child  who  will  never  grow  up?" 

Society  must  be  protected  from  pollution  and  tragedy  on  the 
one  hand,  and  on  the  other  the  innocent  imbecile  must  be  pro- 
tected from  punishment  for  heedless  or  reckless  transgression, 
for  which  he  is  absolutely  irresponsible.  Both  sides  will  de- 
mand therefore  permanent  sequestration.  But  where,  and 
how?  For  a  way  must  be  prepared  for  the  crisis  which  even 
another  decade  may  force  upon  us. . . . 

Poinds  which  should  commend  themselves  to  the  thoughtful 
consideration  of  every  humanitarian  association,  and  which  for 
the    common  welfare  need   to  be   thoroughly  ventilated   are: 

First.  Education  of  the  public  as  to  the  dominating  power 
of  heredity. 

Second.  Enactment  of  laws  preventing  the  marriage  of 
defectives  or  of  their  immediate  descendants,  coupled  with 
yet  more  stringent  measures  for  the  imbecile,  dictated  by  science 
and  already  proven  by  experience. 

Third.     Early  recognition  of  defectives,  and  separation  of 


246  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

trainable  from  untramable  classes,  with  suitable  and  distinct 
provision  for  each. 

Fourth.  National  provision  for  the  permanent  sequestra- 
tion of  the  imbecile  under  such  conditions,  dictated  by  moral 
and  economic  considerations,  as  shall  be  best  conducive  to  the 
happiness  of  the  individual  and  to  the  safety  of  the  community. 

I  bring  to  you  no  mere  opinions,  but  convictions  founded 
upon  a  living  experience.  Apart  from  all  family  ties,  I  have 
consecrated  my  best  energies  to  this  work.  For  twelve  years, 
in  a  training-school  numbering  over  a  thousand,  I  have  eaten 
and  drunk,  walked  and  slept  with  the  imbecile;  both  here  and 
in  Europe  I  have  personally  examined  over  five  thousand,  and  I 
know  whereof  I  speak.  I  know  all  that  you  have  to  fear  from 
the  imbecile.  I  also  know  his  needs,  his  rights  and  the  protec- 
tion he  demands  at  our  hands,  and  I  appeal  to  the  great  heart 
of  motherhood  in  behalf  of  your  own,  and  these,  whom  the 
French  have  so  touchingly  named  ^^ Les  Enfants  du  bon  Dieu," 

^*  ^*  ^% 

HUMANE  EDUCATION  IN  EARLY  TRAINING 

BY    RALPH    WALDO    TRESTE 

THERE  is  much  one-sided  education  in  our  country  to- 
day. There  is  much  training  of  the  intellect  and  but 
little  education  of  the  heart.  Much  is  the  time  spent  in  our 
public  and  private  schools,  in  our  colleges  and  universities,  in 
disciplining  the  mind,  and  little  is  the  time  spent  in  disciplining 
the  imagination,  the  emotions,  the  higher  sympathies,  the  train- 
ing of  which  along  with  the  hitellect,  constitutes  the  truly  educated 
man  or  woman,  the  neglect  of  which  may  make,  and  many 
times  has  made,  a  man  worse  off  than  he  was  before  there  was 
any  training  of  his  intellect  at  all,  and  indeed  a  menace  to  him- 
self, to  his  fellow-men,  to  his  country,  and  to  the  world  at  large. 
How  do  we  know  this  ?  We  know  it  from  the  fact  that  every 
year  numbers  of  our  most  brilliantly  educated  men  become 
criminals,  oppressors  of  the  poor,  or  vampires  upon  our  r  unici- 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  247 

pal,  State,  and  National  governments.  We  know  it  because 
notwithstanding  the  fact  that  a  larger  number  of  people  in  the 
United  States  in  proportion  to  its  population  take  a  college 
course  than  in  any  other  country  in  the  world,  nevertheless  there 
is  perpetrated  in  it  each  year  a  greater  amount  of  crime  than  in 
any  other  civilized  country  in  the  world,  Spain  and  Italy  ex- 
cepted. 

I  have  been  told  that  in  Japan  if  one  picks  up  a  stone  to 
throw  at  a  dog  the  dog  will  not  run  as  you  will  find  he  will  in 
most  every  case  here  in  America,  because  there  the  dog  has 
never  had  a  stone  thrown  at  him,  and  consequently  he  does  not 
know  what  it  means.  This  spirit  of  gentleness,  kindness  and 
care  for  the  animal  world  is  a  characteristic  of  the  Japanese 
people.  It  in  turn  manifests  itself  in  all  their  relations  with 
their  fellow-men,  and  one  of  the  results  is  that  the  amount  of 
crime  committed  there  each  year  in  proportion  to  its  population, 
is  but  a  very  small  fraction  of  that  committed  in  the  United 
States.  In  India,  where  the  treatment  of  the  entire  animal 
world  is  something  to  put  to  shame  our  own  country  with  its 
boasted  Christian  civilization  and  power,  there  with  a  popula- 
tion of  some  300,000,000  there  is  but  one-fourth  the  amount  of 
crime  that  there  is  each  year  in  England  with  a  population  of 
less  than  30,000,000,  and  only  a  small  fraction  of  what  it  is  in 
the  United  States  with  a  population  less  than  one-fourth  the 
population  of  India.     These  are  most  significant  facts. 

Those  mothers  who  are  beginning  to  understand  the  power-  , 
ful  molding  influences  of  prenatal  conditions  will  understand  I 
that  every  mental  and  emotional  state  lived  in  by  the  mother  ; 
makes  its  influence  felt  in  the  life  of  the  forming  child,  and  she 
should  therefore  be  careful  that  during  the  period  she  is  carry- 
ing the  child,  no  thought  or  emotions  of  anger  or  hatred  or  envy  or 
malice,  or  unkind  thoughts  of  any  kind  be  entertained  by  her, 
but  on  the  contrary,  thoughts  of  tenderness,  kindness,  compas- 
sion and  love;  these,  then,  will  influence  and  lead  the  mind  of 
the  child  when  born,  and  will  in  turn  externalize  their  effects  in 
his  body,  instead  of  allowing  to  be  externalized  the  poisoning,   \ 
destructive   effects   of   their   opposites. 

Nothing  in  this  world  can  be  truer  than  that  the  education 


248  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

of  a  man's  head,  without  the  training  of  the  heart,  simply  in- 
creases his  power  for  crime,  while  the  education  of  his  heart 
along  with  the  head  increases  his  power  for  good,  and  this  in- 
deed is  the  true  education. 

Clearly  we  must  begin  with  the  child.  The  lessons  learned 
in  childhood  are  the  last  to  be  forgotten.  The  first  principles 
of  conduct  instilled  into  his  mind,  planted  within  his  heart,  take 
root  and  grow,  and  as  he  grows  from  childhood  to  youth,  and 
from  youth  to  manhood,  these  principles  become  fixed.  They 
decide  his  destiny.  How  important,  then,  that  these  principles 
implanted  within  the  child's  heart  be  lessons  of  gentleness, 
kindness,  mercy,  love  and  humanity,  and  not  lessons  of  hatred, 
en\y,  selfishness  and  malice.  The  former  make  ultimately  our 
esteemed,  law-abiding,  law-loving  citizens;  the  latter  law- 
breakers and  criminals.  Upon  the  training  of  the  children  of 
to-day  depends  the  condition  of  our  country  a  generation  hence. 

It  is  impossible  to  overestimate  the  benefits  resulting  from 
judicious,  humane  instruction.  The  child  who  has  been  taught 
nothing  of  mercy,  nothing  of  humanity,  who  has  never  been 
brought  to  realize  the  claims  that  dumb  animals  have  upon  him 
for  protection  and  kindness,  will  grow  up  to  be  thoughtless  and 
cruel  toward  them,  and  if  he  is  cruel  to  them,  that  same  heart, 
untouched  by  kindness  and  mercy,  will  prompt  him  to  be  cruel 
to  his  family,  to  his  fellow-men.  On  the  other  hand,  the  child 
who  has  been  taught  to  realize  the  claims  that  God's  lower 
creatures  have  upon  him,  whose  heart  has  been  touched  by  les- 
sons of  kindness  and  mercy,  under  their  sweet  influence  will 
grow  to  be  a  large-hearted,  tender-hearted,  manly  man. 

As  a  parent,  in  the  first  place,  I  would  teach  the  child  the 
thoughtlessness,  the  selfishness,  the  heartlessness,  the  cruelty  of 
hunting  for  sport;  I  would  put  into  his  hands  no  air  guns  or  in- 
struments or  weapons  by  which  he  can  inflict  torture  upon  or 
take  the  life  of  birds  or  other  animals.  Instead  of  encouraging 
him  in  torturing  or  killing  the  birds  I  would  point  out  to  him 
the  great  service  they  are  continually  doing  for  us  in  the  de- 
struction of  various  worms  and  insects  and  small  rodents 
which,  if  left  to  themselves,  would  so  multiply  as  literally  to 
destroy  for  our  use  practically  all  fruit  and  plant  life.     I  would 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  249 

have  him  remember  how  many  lives  are  enriched  and  beautified 
by  their  song.  I  would  point  out  to  him  their  habits  of  indus- 
try', their  man-elous  powers  of  adaptability,  their  insight  and 
perseverance. 

Therefore  I  would  teach  him  to  love,  to  study,  to  care  for 
and  feed  them.  Hunting  for  sport  to  my  mind  indicates  one  of 
two  things — a  nature  of  thoughtlessness  as  to  the  almost  inex- 
cusable, or  a  selfishness  so  deplorable  and  so  contemptible  as  to 
be  unworthy  a  normal  or  even  sane  human  being.  No  truly 
manly  man  or  truly  womanly  woman  will  engage  in  it. 

Instead  of  putting  into  the  hands  of  the  child  a  gun  or  any 
weapon  that  may  be  instrumental  in  crippling,  torturing  or  tak- 
ing the  life  of  even  a  single  animal,  I  would  give  him  the  field 
glass  and  the  camera,  and  send  him  out  to  be  a  friend  to  the 
animals,  to  obser\'e  and  study  their  characteristics,  their  habits, 
to  learn  from  them  those  wonderful  lessons  that  can  be  learned, 
and  thus  have  his  whole  nature  expand  in  admiration  and  love 
and  care  for  them,  and  become  thereby  the  truly  manly  and 
princely  type  of  man,  rather  than  the  careless,  callous,  brutal 
type. 

And  now  I  want  to  speak  for  a  moment  of  another  excellent 
opportunity  for  humane  teaching,  and  one  that  comes  near  to 
every  woman.  I  refer  to  the  thoughtless,  cruel  and  inexcusable 
practice  of  wearing  the  skins  and  plumage  of  birds  for  millinery 
and  other  decorative  purposes.  The  enormous  proportions  of 
this  traffic  are  something  simply  appalling.  In  the  course  of  a 
single  day  last  year  in  London  and  from  a  single  auction  store 
the  skins  of  six  hundred  thousand  birds  were  sold.   .   .   . 

For  the  people's  sakes  as  well,  even  more  than  for  the  birds', 
I  would  urge  attention  to  and  action  along  this  line.  The 
tender  and  humane  passion  in  the  human  heart  is  too  precious 
a  quality  to  allow  it  to  be  hardened  or  effaced  by  practices  such 
as  we  so  often  indulge  in.  Even  from  an  economic  standpoint, 
the  service  that  birds  render  us  every  year,  so  far  as  vegetation  is 
concerned,  is  literally  beyond  computation.  Were  they  all 
killed  off,  the  world  would  soon  become  practically  uninhabit- 
able for  man,  because  vegetation  would  each  year  be  blighted 
or  consumed  by  the  broods  of  insects  that  would  infest  it.     It 


250  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

is  but  necessary  to  realize  how  rapidly  even  during  the  past 
several  years  insect  life  has  been  increasing  in  some  places,  so 
as  to  tax  to  the  utmost  the  skill  of  the  farmer,  the  gardener, 
and  the  fruit  grower.  Instead,  then,  of  schooling  the  child  to 
be  the  destroyer  of  bird  life,  let  it  be  guided  along  the  lines  of 
being  its  lover  and  its  protector.  Instead  of  being  the  arch- 
enemy of,  let  the  children  be  taught  to  become  friends  to,  to 
care  for  and  protect  these,  their  fellow-creatures.  Let  them  be 
taught  to  give  them  always  kind  words,  and  kind  thoughts  as 
well.  Some  animals  are  most  sensitively  organized.  They 
sense  and  are  influenced  by  our  thoughts  and  our  emotions  far 
more  than  many  people  are.  And  why  should  we  not  recognize 
and  speak  to  the  horse  as  we  pass  him  the  same  as  we  do  to  a 
fellow  human  being?  While  he  may  not  get  my  exact  words, 
he  nevertheless  gets  and  is  influenced  by  the  nature  of  the 
thought  that  is  behind  and  that  is  the  spirit  of  the  words.  Let 
the  children  be  taught  to  become  friends  in  this  way.  Let 
them  be  taught,  even  though  young,  to  raise  the  hand  against 
all  misuse,  abuse,  and  cruelty.  Let  them  be  taught  that  the 
horse,  for  example,  when  tired  or  when  its  load  is  heavy,  needs 
encouragement  the  same  as  a  man  or  a  woman  needs  it,  and 
that  the  whip  is  not  necessary,  except  indeed,  in  cases  where 
he  has  not  been  taught  to  respond  to  words,  but  only  to  the  whip. 

Were  I  an  educator,  then,  my  influence  along  the  lines  of  hu- 
mane heart-training  I  would  endeavor  to  make  my  chief  ser- 
vice to  my  pupils.  The  rules  and  principles  and  even  facts 
that  are  taught  them  will,  nine-tenths  of  them  at  least,  by  and 
by  be  forgotten,  but  by  bringing  into  their  lives  this  higher 
influence,  at  once  the  root  and  the  flower  of  all  that  is  worthy 
of  the  name  education,  I  would  give  them  something  that 
would  place  them  at  once  in  the  ranks  of  the  noblest  of  the  race. 
I  would  give  not  only  special  attention  and  time  to  this  humane 
education,  but  I  would  introduce  it  into,  and  cause  it  to  permeate 
all  of  my  work.  A  teacher  with  a  litde  insight  will  be  able  to 
find  opportunities  on   every  hand. 

Then  were  I  a  mother,  I  would  infuse  this  same  humane  in- 
fluence into  all  phases  of  the  child's  life  and  growth.  Quietly 
and  indirectly  I  would  make  all  things  speak  to  him  in  this 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  251 

language;  I  would  put  into  his  hands  books  such  as  "Black 
Beauty,"  "Beautiful  Joe,"  and  others  of  a  kindred  nature.  I 
would  form  in  my  own  village  or  part  of  the  city,  were  tnere  not 
one  there  already,  a  Band  of  Mercy  into  which  my  own  and 
neighbors'  children  would  be  called;  and  thus  I  would  open  up 
another  little  fountain  of  humanity  for  the  healing  of  our  troub- 
led times. 

One  of  the  most  beautiful  and  valuable  features  of  the  kin- 
dergarten education,  which  to  me  covers  nearer  the  true  educa- 
tion than  any  we  have  yet  seen,  is  the  constantly  recurring  lesson 
of  love,  sympathy,  kindness,  and  care  for  the  animal  world.  All 
fellowship  thus  fostered  and  the  humane  sentiments  thus  in- 
culcated will,  however,  return  to  soften  and  enrich  the  child's 
and  later  the  man's  or  the  woman's  life  a  thousand  or  a  million 
fold,  for  we  must  always  bear  in  mind  the  fact  that  every  kind- 
ness shown,  every  service  done  to  either  a  fellow  human  being 
or  a  so-called  dumb  fellow-creature,  does  us  more  good  than  the 
one  for  whom  or  that  for  which  we  do  it. 

t5*        *3*        ^* 

HOW  AND  WHEN  SHALL  WE  TEACH  SPEECH  TO 

THE  DEAF? 

BY  MISS  GARRETT 

THE  duties  of  the  present  generation  to  the  rising  generation 
are  being  recognized  and  performed  in  the  general  study 
of  the  individual  child,  and  the  providing  for  it  the  opportu- 
nity for  development  of  its  individual  powers  to  an  extent  that 
is  most  encouraging.  .  .  . 

Our  deaf  children  have  been  more  or  less  sharers  of  the  im- 
proved opportunities,  but  the  proportion  of  those  who  have  had 
the  chance  for  the  best  development  of  which  they  are  capable 
has  been  distressingly  small.  .  .  . 

The  oral  method  for  their  instruction  is  gradually  supplanting 
the  sign  method,  so  that  out  of  about  five  hundred  and  twenty 
schools  in  the  world  about  two  hundred  and  thirty  of  them  are 


252  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

oral  schools.  While  the  training  of  ohildren  in  and  through 
the  medium  of  communication  used  in  the  world  in  which  they 
must  live  is  an  advantage  over  a  training  in  an  arbitrary  sign- 
language  which  is  not  understood  by  others,  they  still  have  an 
additional  handicap  put  upon  them  which  hearing  children  do 
not  suffer.  With  a  very  few  exceptions,  instead  of  their  speech- 
training  being  commenced  in  babyhood,  as  ours  was,  it  is  de- 
layed to  the  school  age. 

We  have  learned  from  a  few  mothers  of  deaf  children  that 
they  can  be  taught  and  understand  by  sight  if  they  are  trained 
from  infancy  to  look  at  the  mouths  and  faces  of  people  who  are 
talking,  and  if  further  guided  to  imitate  the  speech  they  thus 
see,  and  if  sufhcient  repetition  of  this  is  given  them  to  make  up 
for  what  hearing  children  get.  I  have  known  mothers  who 
did  this  so  successfully  that  their  children  were  educated  with 
those  who  hear,  and  have  been  able  to  mingle  freely  with  the 
world  without  any  difficulty  in  understanding  other  people's 
speech  or  making  their  own  understood. 

It  would  seem  as  though  nothing  more  were  necessary  than 
to  tell  this  to  the  mothers  and  friends  of  every  deaf  child  to  in- 
duce them  to  do  the  same,  but  wt  find  that  two  things  must  be 
accomplished  before  this  work  can  be  generally  done  at  home. 

First.  All  mothers  must  be  made  to  realize  that  it  can  be 
done  and  then  they  must  be  shown  how  to  do  it. 

Second.  The  public  must  realize  that  instead  of  treating 
deaf  children  differently  from  other  children,  which  makes  them 
different,  they  must  simply  talk  to  them  from  infancy. 

The  most  effectual  way  to  do  this  seemed  to  be  to  establish  a 
home  for  deaf  children,  with  an  environment  which  would  se- 
cure to  the  children  as  nearly  as  possible  and  under  every-day 
home  conditions,  while  learning  to  talk,  the  same  amount  of 
repetition  of  the  language  through  the  eye  that  hearing  children 
get  through  the  ear.  We  have  done  this  in  Pennsylvania,  and 
some  of  this  early  work  is  being  done  in  Chicago  and  Massa- 
chusetts, but  very  little  elsewhere,  but  all  of  our  work  together 
is  nothing  to  what  needs  to  be  done  to  give  all  deaf  children  as 
fair  a  chance  as  hearing  children.  As  scarcely  any  one  who  has 
not  seen  this  work  realizes  what  can  be  done,  and  as  all  thinking 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  253 

people  when  they  do  see  it  feel  that  it  should  be  done  for  all,  it 
seems  reasonable  to  suppose  that  if  we  could  establish  such 
homes  simultaneously  in  all  our  States  and  Territories  they  would, 
in  the  course  of  a  generation,  so  instruct  the  parents,  friends 
and  the  community  as  to  what  is  possible  for  the  children  that 
after  that  they  would  be  taught  to  talk  in  their  own  homes  as 
naturally  as  hearing  children  there  learn,  and  special  institu- 
tions would  be  no  longer  needed.  As  there  is  only  one  deaf 
child  in  every  fifteen  hundred,  the  demand  for  homes  for  them 
could  doubtless  easily  be  supplied.  This  then  seems  to  me 
the  duty  of  the  hour  to  little  deaf  children.  With  articulate 
speech,  speech-reading  and  language,  their  happiness  and 
independence  may  be  said  to  be  secure;  without  it  they  are 
more  or  less  handicapped  in  every  relation  in  life.  If  it  is 
better  for  us  to  begin  in  infancy  it  is  better  for  them. 

t?*  (5*  t5* 

ALCOHOL  AND  THE  CHILD 

BY    CORA   D.    GRAHAM 

IN  my  work  as  a  teacher  and  as  a  sociological  student, 
I  have  found  no  class  of  people  so  responsive  to  the  call  of 
justice  as  are  our  young  people.  A  young  man  just  entering 
college,  had  promised  his  mother  years  ago  not  to  smoke  or 
take  the  social  glass  until  he  left  home.  Then  he  thought  he 
would  be  old  enough  to  decide  for  himself.  The  promise  had 
satisfied  her,  she  fondly  hoped  he  would  always  be  in  the  home. 
But  college  aspirations  came  with  the  winning  of  a  scholarship, 
and  so  at  eighteen  he  was  ready  to  leave.  He  heard  a  lecture 
which  pleaded  for  justice  to  the  children  of  the  next  generation; 
for  the  giving  up  of  habits  which  would  make  the  next  genera- 
tion less  able  to  successfully  fight  life's  battles;  for  the  laying 
of  a  foundation  upon  which  two  souls,  equally  pure,  might 
build  the  character  of  other  souls  which  they  might  bring  into 
existence.  That  man  frankly  told  the  writer  that  he  had 
hitherto  looked  upon  these  habits  as  personal  and  temporal, 


254  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

but  he  was  now  convinced  that  they  were  national  and  eternal 
in  their  effects.  This  is  but  one  example  of  thousands  of  boys 
and  girls,  young  men  and  young  women,  who,  for  the  sanctity 
of  the  future  home,  the  character  oi  future  children  have  builded 
in  their  youth. 

Dr.  Franz  Schonenberger,  of  Bremen,  Germany,  said  in  an 
educational  paper:  "Science  has  established  that  alcohol  destroys 
first  and  most  those  parts  which  are  most  delicate  and  latest 
developed.  These  are  those  wonderfully  delicate  brain  cells 
upon  whose  proper  formation  the  difference  between  men 
and  beasts  depends."  Professor  Victor  Horsley,  University 
College,  London,  England,  says  that  the  "contention  so  often 
made  that  small  doses  of  alcohol,  such  as  people  take  at  meals, 
have  practically  no  deleterious  effect,  cannot  be  maintained," 
and  in  discussing  this  subject.  Dr.  H.  F.  Hewes,  of  the  depart- 
ment of  Physiological  Chemistry  in  Han-ard  Medical  School, 
in  the  "Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,"  said  that  "the 
sum  total  of  all  the  results  of  alcohol  upon  the  body  metab- 
olism certainly  inclines  the  unprejudiced  student  to  agree 
with  Horsley  that  total  abstinence  has  a  scientific  basis. " 

Science  has  thus  shown  that  in  whatever  form  or  quantity 
alcohol  may  be  taken,  it  attacks,  first,  the  higher  powers  of 
the  mind:  reason,  self-control,  altruism,  etc.,  and  that  children 
born  of  users  of  alcohol  have  missed  a  portion  of  their  birth- 
right, both  by  heredity  and  by  the  "atmosphere"  of  the  home 
life,  however  outwardly  it  may  bear  the  semblance  of  refine- 
ment and  luxury. 

On  the  other  hand,  we  find  homes  in  which  the  teachings 
of  modem  science  have  been  practised,  and  alcohol  banished 
even  as  a  medicine.  These  homes  bear  the  hall-mark  of 
happiness,  whether  rich  or  poor  in  this  world's  goods.  Some 
of  these  homes  are  inclined  to  think  and  say  that,  having 
brought  their  children  up  with  good  habits,  they  have  per- 
formed their  full  duty  to  children  and  to  society,  forgetting 
that  many  other  children  have  been  denied  pure  environment 
through  ignorance  or  vice  of  parents,  and  must  be  protected 
by  laws  and  customs  made  by  the  enlightened  part  of  the 
community.     Such  self-righteous  parents,  usually  sincere  to  the 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  255 

core,  have  also  not  had  the  arrest  of  thought  which  makes  one 
realize  that  as  long  as  love  between  man  and  maid  rules,  as 
long  as  boys  must  have  "chums,"  and  girls  their  "bosom 
friends, "  no  home  is  really  safe  until  all  homes  are  so. 

x\lcohol  touches  the  home  in  still  another  way.  Many 
people  have  been  deceived  by  the  brewers'  advertisement  that 
beer  makes  brawn,  gives  strength  and  efficiency  to  the  work- 
ing man.  Dr.  Sims  Woodhead,  Professor  of  Pathology  in 
Cambridge  University,  England,  says  that  "no  amount  of 
alcohol,  however  given,  can  increase  the  amount  of  work  done 
in  a  given  period  without  giving  rise  to  very  serious  disturb- 
ances in  some  part  or  other  of  the  body;  indeed,  the  amount 
of  work  is  never  increased,  as  any  temporary  excitement  is 
invariably  followed  by  depression  of  such  nature  that  the  in- 
crease of  work  supposed  to  be  done  during  the  period  of  ex- 
citation is  far  more  than  that  counterbalanced  by  the  dim- 
inution in  the  amount  of  work  done  during  the  period  of  de- 
pression. " 

Thus  we  see  that  alcohol  affects  the  working  capacity  of 
the  father;  working  capacity  determines  his  wage-value  from 
the  unskilled  workman  to  the  skilled  mechanic,  and  from 
these  earnings  must  also  be  taken  a  certain  amount  spent  for 
liquor,  so  that  the  net  amount  of  money  left  for  the  purchase 
of  the  necessities  of  his  family  often  leaves  nothing  for  the  mak- 
ing of  a  right  environment  in  which  his  children  may  grow  up, 
with  good  books,  good  music,  and  a  place  to  which  they  may 
bring  their  friends  instead  of  meeting  them  on  the  streets. 
They  are  denied  the  advantages  of  education,  lack  inspiration 
which  comes  with  it,  and  early  in  life  enter  the  line  of  juvenile 
wage-earners,  oftentimes  with  but  a  dull  outlook  upon  life, 
and  in  turn  become  the  fathers  and  mothers  of  another  genera- 
tion of  malformed  or  degenerate  children.  So  that  the  so- 
called  personal  or  individual  habit  becomes  national  in  its  ulti- 
mate result. 

Statistics  of  institutions  for  feeble-minded  children,  idiot 
and  lunatic  asylums,  and  of  all  penal  institutions  and  courts, 
show  that  this  so-called  personal  habit  is  responsible  for  the 
largest  per  cent,  in  the  numbers  committed  to  their  respective 


256  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

keeping.  If  one  claims  the  right  to  drink,  let  us  answer  that 
his  wife  and  children  have  still  greater  rights  upon  a  well- 
rounded  manhood  in  husband  and  father,  as  well  as  enough 
earnings  to  make  the  home  something  more  than  four  walls, 
food  and  clothing.  Society  at  large,  and  his  country  have  also 
rights  upon  every  citizen. 

In  a  report  given  by  a  well-known  inspector  of  schools  in  a 
metropolitan  city,  the  statement  was  made  that  the  number  of 
contagious  diseases  had  so  alarmingly  increased  that  he  was 
considering  the  idea  of  segregating  such  pupils  in  school  build- 
ings to  be  erected  for  that  purpose.  Tuberculosis  was  one  of 
the  diseases  especially  mentioned,  and  he  said  that  this  and 
other  dread  diseases  found  fertile  soil  in  persons  suffering  from 
malnutrition,  the  lack  of  nourishing  food  in  sufficient  quantity. 
Who  that  has  looked  at  the  drink-habit  in  but  a  casual  way 
has  not  found  that  glance  sufficient  to  answer  the  question  why 
so  many  wives  and  children  go  without  nourishing  food  in  suf- 
ficient quantity;  why  it  is  that  children  from  such  homes,  even 
though  they  survive  to  maturity,  often  find  in  some  unexpected 
hour  that  the  ill-nourished  body  of  youth  had  carried  through 
the  years  the  germ  of  weakness  which  made  it  the  prey  of  cer- 
tain conditions  ?  Does  not  alcohol  vitally  touch  the  interests  of 
the  home? 

Then,  in  the  school-room,  children  have  been  found  to  be 
dull  in  their  studies  and  difficult  to  discipline.  Reports  sent 
home  arouse  the  pride  of  parents,  who,  not  understanding 
the  real  situation,  blame  the  school  and  whip  the  child,  feel- 
ing that  by  this  means  everything  has  been  adjusted.  .  .  . 

At  the  First  International  Congress  of  School  Hygiene, 
held  a  few  years  ago  at  a  famous  European  capital,  one  whole 
section  was  devoted  to  the  question  of  alcohol  and  the  problem 
not  only  of  how  to  reach  the  children  under  their  immediate  in- 
struction,hvii  how  to  bring  the  teachings  of  modern  science,  rela- 
tive to  the  nature  and  efi"ect  of  alcohol,  to  the  home,  to  the  fathers 
and  mothers  and  older  members  of  tJie  homes  represented  by 
the  pupils  in  the  schools.  This  was  indeed  patriotism  of  the 
right  sort,  where  the  helping  hand  of  the  educated  classes  was 
held  out  to  relieve  the  ignorance  of  the  homes  of  the  land. 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  257 

The  United  States  has  set  a  noteworthy  example  to  the  other 
nations  of  the  world,  for  every  State  legislature,  as  well  as 
Congress  for  the  District  of  Columbia,  has  placed  upon  the 
statute  books  a  law  whereby  from  twenty  to  thirty  lessons  per 
year  will  be  given  the  children,  teaching  them,  in  connection 
with  the  various  phases  of  physiology  and  hygiene,  the  nature 
and  effect  of  alcohol  upon  the  human  system.  No  other 
agency  for  good,  save  the  public  school,  comes  into  direct 
contact  with  practically  all  the  individuals  forming  the  masses 
of  this  country.  Here,  then,  must  we  help  teachers  sympa- 
thetically and  intelligently  to  carry  out  the  provisions  of  the 
law,  remembering  that  not  only  the  millions  of  school  chil- 
dren to-day  will  be  personally  benefited,  but  that  we  are  in 
this  way  helping  them  to  lay  strong  and  clean  foundations 
for  future  homes,  for  future  children. 

Here  we  find  the  home  calling  out  to  the  school  to  come 
to  its  rescue  in  this  fight  for  the  highest  good  of  its  children. 
The  home  is  in  need  of  other  help  in  this  fight,  for  one  of  the 
liquor  dealers  has  said:  "The  success  of  our  business  is  de- 
pendent largely  upon  the  creation  of  appetite  for  drink.  The 
open  field  for  the  creation  of  appetite  is  among  the  hoys.  After 
men  have  grown  and  their  habits  are  formed  they  rarely  ever 
change  in  this  regard." 

The  home  looks  to  the  men  and  women  of  every  community 
to  make  for  the  passage  of  litde  feet,  of  curious  eyes  and  of 
adolescent  unrest,  a  safe  path  to  school  and  to  church,  and  on 
"litde  errands  for  mother."  "The  creation  of  appetite  among 
the  boys"  is  easily  possible  where  the  open  saloon  and  the 
gambling  dens  are  sanctioned  by  the  people  to  whom  the  chil- 
dren have  been  directed  as  "our  best  cidzens. " 

These  problems  may  seem  overwhelming  in  their  scope, 
yet  that  very  fact  means  that  each  must  lend  her  talent  that 
the  mighty  chain  of  righteousness  may  be  forged  to  protect 
the  home.  You  may  say  that  your  talent  is  so  small  it  surely 
will  not  help.  "  The  farmer  who  drops  the  seed  and  covers  it 
over  has  done  a  little,  yet  a  future  harvest  hangs  upon  it.  It  is  a 
small  thing  to  take  a  plant  from  a  dark  comer  and  set  it  in 
the  light,  but  think  what  it  means  to  the  plant." 


258  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

THE    ABUSE    OF    DRUGS 

BY    MRS.    MARTHA    M.    ALLEN 

AS  the  most  successful  physicians  are  laying  aside  drugs 
because  they  can  save  life  better  without  such  agents, 
wise  mothers  would  do  well  to  imitate  their  example  in  such 
simple  cases  of  illness  as  call  only  for  home  care.  Multi- 
tudes of  mothers  have  done  their  children  great  and  lasting 
injury  by  giving  them  morphine  soothing  syrups  and  mor- 
phine cough  syrups,  and  whiskey  slings,  and  rock  and  rye, 
and  coca  wines,  and  headache  powders  and  various  other 
drug  preparations  which  lead  to  nervous  or  digestive  dis- 
turbances,  and   sometimes   to   death. 

Dr.  Harvey  W.  Wiley,  Chief  of  the  Bureau  of  Chemistry 
of  the  United  States  Government,  has  said  that  over  a  million 
of  American  babies  have  been  killed  by  morphine  soothing 
syrups.  Massachusetts  Board  of  Health  years  ago  warned 
mothers  against  morphine  in  cough  syrups  and  soothing  syrups, 
and  said  that  these  preparations  sow  seeds  in  children  which 
will  bear  the  most  pernicious  fruit  in  adult  life. 

In  many  homes  children  have  been  given  for  simple  ail- 
ments such  wretched  nostrums  which  contain  quite  considerable 
percentage  of  alcohol,  with  other  drugs  which  are  dangerous  to 
health.  Most  of  the  sarsaparillas  contain  iodide  of  potassium, 
a  drug  quite  unfit  for  self-prescription.  The  action  of  this  drug 
upon  many  persons  is  to  bring  out  an  eruption  upon  the  skin. 
This  is  taken  by  the  consumer  as  evidence  that  the  "badness" 
in  his  blood  is  coming  out.  That  is  why  this  drug  is  placed 
in  the  nostrum. 

Malt  extracts  are  used  quite  extensively  by  people  who 
would  not  drink  beer,  yet  most  of  these  preparations  are  as 
strongly  alcoholic  as  ordinary  beer  or  ale.  Analysis  has  shown 
that  they  are  not  aids  to  digestion  as  represented;  in  none  of 
them  was  there  found  the  slightest  diastatic  power. 

Cod-liver  oil  preparations  are  much  believed  in  by  a  large 
class  of  people,  Vinol  being  a  special  favorite.  Yet  Vinol  in 
its  printed  circulars  admits  that  it  contains  no  oil.    The  Com- 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  259 

mittee  on  Pharmacy  of  the  American  Medical  Association  says: 
"A  preparation  claiming  to  represent  cod-liver  oil  which  does 
not  contain  fat  is  fraudulent."  The  committee  examined 
Waterbury's  Metabolized  Cod-liver  Oil  and  Hagee's  Cordial  of 
Cod-liver  Oil.  The  latter  is  claimed  to  "represent  S3  per  cent 
of  pure  Norwegian  cod-liver  oil,"  yet  in  neither  of  these  prep- 
arations did  the  analysts  find  oil.  They  found  alcohol,  sugar 
and  glycerine,  none  of  which  is  contained  in  cod-liver  oil. 

It  is  hard  to  convince  people  that  most  of  the  proprietary 
medicines  largely  advertised  are  useless,  and  in  many  cases 
harmful.  This  is  because  they  feel  better  for  a  time  after 
taking  a  dose.  They  do  not  understand  that  the  improved 
feeling  is  due  to  the  benumbing  action  of  the  alcohol,  or  mor- 
phine, or  whatever  drug  is  used,  nor  do  they  know  that  if  they 
have  any  disease  this  benumbing  action  is  only  hiding  the 
symptoms;  it  has  no  curative  effect. 

Some  of  the  greatest  scientists  of  Europe  are  teaching  that 
the  use  of  alcoholic  drinks  interferes  with  what  is  called  im- 
munity to  disease.  It  would  be  well  for  mothers  to  study  these 
teachings.  If  whiskey  slings  and  quinine  and  coal-tar  remedies 
and  "patent  medicines"  weaken  the  system  so  that  disease 
can  more  readily  find  entrance,  wise  mothers  will  banish  all 
such  agents  and  seek  to  learn  newer  and  better  methods  of 
caring  for  their  loved  ones.   .  .   . 

Certainly  health  cannot  be  purchased  at  the  drug  store, 
nor  does  it  exist  in  any  bottle  of  liquid  or  box  of  pills,  nor  will 
these  restore  health  when  lost.  Nature  alone  has  power  to 
heal.  Proper  food,  exercise,  fresh  air,  and  plenty  of  sleep  are 
nature's  restoratives. 

((5*         (i?*         <<?* 

THE     IMPORTANCE     OF     BRINGING     YOUTH     IN 
TOUCH  WITH  GREAT  LITERATURE 

BY    HAMILTON    W.    MABEE 

NO  greater  good  fortune  can  befall  a  child  than  to  be  bom 
into  a  home  where  the  best  books  are  read,  the  best 
music  interpreted,  and  the  best  talk  enjoyed,  for  in  these  privi- 


260  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

leges  the  richest  educational  opportunities  are  supplied.  Many 
things  are  said  to  which  he  lacks  the  key;  but  the  atmosphere 
of  such  a  home  envelops  him  in  the  most  receptive  years;  his 
imagination  is  arrested  by  pictures,  sounds,  images,  facts, 
which  fall  into  it  like  seeds  into  a  quick  soil;  his  memory  is 
stored  without  conscious  effort.  It  is  his  greatest  privilege  that 
a  life  so  large  and  rich  receives  him  with  unstinted  hospitality, 
and  offers  him  all  he  can  receive.  .  .  . 

The  boy  who  hears  the  talk  of  cultivated  men  and  women 
at  table  about  current  affairs  and  subjects  of  permanent  inter- 
est has  the  very  finest  of  educational  opportunities;  the  boy  who 
listens  to  talk  which  is  intentionally  brought  down  to  the  level 
of  his  intelligence  is  by  that  act  robbed  of  his  opportunities. 
Parents  make  no  more  serious  mistake  than  taking  the  tone  of 
the  family  life  from  the  children  instead  of  giving  that  life, 
clearly  and  pervasively,  the  tone  of  their  own  ideals,  convictions, 
and  intelligence.  Nature  does  not  present  one  aspect  to  chil- 
dren, another  to  mature  persons,  and  a  third  to  the  aged;  she 
presents  the  same  phenomena  to  all,  and  each  age  takes  that 
which  appeals  to  it,  dimly  discerning,  at  the  same  time,  the 
larger  aspects  which  are  to  disclose  themselves  later  on.  .  .  . 

There  are  a  great  many  so-called  children's  books  which  are 
wholesome,  entertaining,  and  educative  in  a  high  degree;  but 
they  possess  these  high  qualities  not  because  they  are  children's 
books,  but  because  they  are  genuine,  veracious,  vital,  and  human; 
because,  in  a  word,  they  disclose  in  their  measure  the  same 
qualities  which  make  the  literary  masterpieces  what  they  are. 
It  is  a  peculiarity  of  such  books  that  they  are  quite  as  interesting 
to  mature  as  to  young  readers.  Of  the  great  mass  of  books 
written  specifically  for  children  it  is  not  too  much  to  say  that 
it  is  a  sin  to  put  them  in  the  hands  of  those  who  have  no 
standards  and  are  dependent  upon  the  judgment  and  taste  of 
their  elders;  a  sin  against  the  child's  intelligence,  growth,  and 
character.  Some  of  these  books  are  innocuous  save  as  wasters 
of  time;  many  more  are  sentimental,  untrue,  and  cheap; 
some  are  vulgar. 

The  years  which  are  given  over  to  this  artificially  prepared 
reading  matter — for  it  is  a  profanation  to  call  it  literature — • 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  261 

are  precisely  the  years  when  the  mind  is  being  most  deeply 
stirred;  when  the  seeds  of  thought  are  dropping  silently  down 
into  the  secret  and  hidden  places  of  the  nature.  They  are  the 
years  which  decide  whether  a  man  shall  be  creative  or  imitative; 
whether  he  shall  be  an  artist  or  an  artisan.  For  such  a  plastic 
and  critical  time  nothing  that  can  inspire,  enrich,  and  liberate 
is  too  good;  indeed,  the  very  highest  use  to  which  the  finest 
results  of  human  living  and  doing  and  thinking  and  speaking 
can  be  put  is  to  feed  the  mind  of  childhood  in  those  memorable 
years  when  the  spirit  is  finding  itself  and  feeling  the  beauty  of 
the  world.  This  is  the  moment  when  the  race  takes  the  child 
by  the  hand,  and,  leaning  over  it  in  the  silence  of  solitary  hours, 
whispers  to  it  those  secrets  of  beauty  and  power  and  knowledge 
in  the  possession  of  which  the  mastery  of  life  lies.  This  is  the 
time  when  the  boy  who  is  to  write  "Kenilworth"  is  learning,  with 
bated  breath,  the  great  stories  and  traditions  of  his  race;  when 
the  boy  who  is  to  wTite  the  Mnes  on  Tintern  Abbey  is  feeling  the 
wonder  of  the  world  and  the  mystery  of  fate;  when  the  boy  who 
is  to  write  the  "Idylls  of  the  King"  is  playing  at  knighthood  with 
his  brothers  and  sisters  in  the  Lincolnshire  fields,  and  the  brave 
group  of  noble  boys  and  girls  are  weaving  endless  romances  of 
old  adventure  and  chivalry.  Tliis  is  the  time  when,  as  a  rule, 
the  intellectual  fortunes  of  the  child  are  settled  for  all  time. 
In  these  wonderful  years  of  spiritual  exploration  and  discovery 
the  child  ought  to  have  access  not  to  cheap  stories,  artificially 
and  mechanically  manufactured  to  keep  it  out  of  mischief, 
but  to  the  records  of  the  childhood  of  the  race;  his  true  com- 
panion is  this  august  but  invisible  playmate.  That  which 
fed  the  race  in  its  childhood  ought  to  feed  each  child  born  into 
its  vast  fellowship.  The  great  story-book  of  mythology,  with  its 
splendid  figures,  its  endless  shifting  of  scene,  its  crowding  inci- 
dent, its  heroism  and  poetry,  ought  to  be  open  to  every  child; 
for  mythology  is  the  child's  view  of  the  world — a  view  which 
deals  with  obvious  things  often,  but  deals  with  them  poetically 
and  with  a  feeling  for  their  less  obvious  relations.  The  dream 
of  the  world  which  those  imaginative  children  who  were  the 
fathers  of  the  race  dreamed  was  full  of  prophetic  glimpses  of 
the  future,  of  deep  and  beautiful  visions,  of  large  and  splendid 


262  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

achievement,  and  of  that  wholesome  symbolism  in  which  the 
deeper  meanings  of  Nature  become  plain.  Out  of  this  dim 
period,  when  men  first  felt  the  wonder  of  the  world,  and  felt 
also  the  mysterious  ties  which  bound  them  to  Nature,  issued 
that  great  stream  of  story  which  has  fed  the  art  of  the  world 
for  so  many  centuries,  and  will  feed  it  to  the  end  of  time.  For 
these  stories  were  not  manufactured;  they  grew,  and  in  them  is 
registered  the  early  growth  of  the  race.  They  are  not  idle  tales; 
they  are  deep  and  rich  renderings  of  the  facts  of  life;  they  are 
interpretations  and  explanations  of  life  in  that  language  of  the 
imagination  which  is  as  intelligible  to  children  as  to  their  elders; 
they  are  rich  in  those  elements  of  culture  which  are  the  very 
stuff  of  which  the  deepest  and  widest  education  is  made. 

Now  this  quality,  which  invests  Ulysses,  Perseus,  Thor,  Sieg- 
fried, Arthur,  and  Perceval  with  such  perennial  interest,  is 
characteristic  of  the  great  books,  into  so  many  of  which  mythol- 
ogy directly  enters.  The  "Odyssey"  is  not  only  one  of  the  great 
reading  books  of  the  race;  it  is  also  one  of  the  great  text-books. 
Shakespeare  is  not  only  a  great  story-teller;  he  is  also  an  edu- 
cator whose  like  has  been  seen  only  two  or  three  times  in  the 
history  of  the  world.  Teach  a  child  facts  without  the  illumina- 
tion of  the  imagination,  and  you  fill  the  memory;  give  these 
facts  dramatic  sequence  and  impart  to  them  that  symbolic  qual- 
ity which  all  the  arts  share,  and  you  stir  the  depths  of  a  child's 
nature.  The  boys  whose  sole  text-books  were  the"Hiad"and  the 
"Odyssey, "and  who  learned,  therefore,  all  their  history  and  sci- 
ence in  terms  of  the  imagination,  became  the  most  original, 
creative,  and  variously  gifted  men  who  have  yet  appeared  in 
history;  they  were  drilled  and  disciplined,  but  they  were  also 
liberated  and  inspired.  A  modern  -wTiter  has  happily  described 
Plutarch's  "Lives"  as  "the  pastureof  great  souls";  the  place,  that 
is,  where  such  souls  are  nourished  and  fed.  Now  the  great 
poets,  novelists,  historians,  supply  the  food  which  de\elops  a 
strong,  clear,  original  life  of  the  mind;  which  makes  the  imagina- 
tion active  and  creative;  which  feeds  the  young  spirit  with  the 
deeds  and  images  of  heroes;  which  sets  the  real  in  true  rela- 
tions to  the  ideal. 
These  writers  are  quite  as  much  at  home  with  the  young  as 


WIFE  AND  MOTHER  263 

with  the  mature.  Shakespeare  is  quite  as  interesting  to  a 
healthy  boy  as  any  story-writer  who  strives  to  feed  his  appetite 
for  action  and  adventure;  and  Shakespeare  is  a  great  poet  be- 
sides. He  entertains  his  young  guest  quite  as  acceptably  as  a 
hired  comedian,  and  he  makes  a  man  of  him  as  well.  There 
is  no  need  of  making  concessions  to  what  is  often  mistakenly 
supposed  to  be  the  taste  of  children  by  giving  them  inferior 
things;  let  them  grow  up  in  the  presence  of  superior  things,  and 
they  will  take  to  them  as  easily  as  they  will  take  to  cheaper 
things.  Accustom  a  child  to  good  painting,  and  he  will  never 
be  attracted  by  inferior  pictures;  accustom  him  to  good  music, 
and  the  popular  jingle  will  disgust  him;  bring  him  up  with 
Homer,  Shakespeare,  Plutarch,  Herodotus,  Scott,  Hawthorne, 
Irving,  and  it  will  be  unnecessary  to  warn  him  against  the 
books  which  are  piled  up  at  the  news-stands  and  sold  in  railway 
trains.  The  boy  who  grows  up  in  this  society  will  rarely  make 
friends  with  the  vulgar  and  the  unclean;  he  will  love  health, 
honor,  truth,  intelligence,  and  manliness.  For  reading  is  not 
only  a  matter  of  taste  and  intelligence;  it  is  a  matter  of  char- 
acter as  well. 


ADOLESCENCE— WHAT  SHALL  BE 
TAUGHT  ? 

WHAT  SHALL  BE  TAUGHT,  AND  WHO  SHALL 

TEACH  IT? 

BY  DR.   MARY  WOOD   ALLEN 

NO  time  in  a  woman's  life  is  so  full  of  sacred  joy  as  that  hour 
when  she  holds  in  her  arms  her  first-born  child.  As 
she  looks  into  the  little  face  she  begins  to  forecast  the  child's 
future  and  to  plan  for  its  education.  Some  phases  of  its  educa- 
tion have  been  arranged  for;  the  study  of  literature  and  sciences, 
of  art,  politics,  and  religion,  has  been  provided  for  by  the  kinder- 
garten, the  school,  the  college,  the  university,  the  Sunday-school, 
and  the  church.  But  there  is  a  phase  of  its  teaching  to  which 
doubtless  the  mother  has  given  no  specific  thought. 

There  are  teachers  on  every  side  who  are  ready  to  give  the 
boy  instruction  concerning  himself;  alas!  not  with  the  purity 
of  the  mother-heart,  but  tainted  with  suggestions  which  may 
make  it  difficult  for  him  later  in  life  to  think  purely  of  life  and 
its  relations.  These  teachers  may  be  within  the  home  circle — 
the  nurse,  the  trusted  coachman,  the  well-dressed  and  well- 
behaved  child  that  comes  in.  Books,  pictures,  bill-boards  upon 
the  street,  conversations  in  the  alley,  in  the  school-yard,  are  all 
instructors  of  httle  human  souls. 

Children  are  investigators,  and  this  world  is  a  great  treasure- 
house  of  mysteries.  They  are  ever  ready  with  queries.  They 
venture  into  the  domains  of  theology  and  philosophy,  and  accept 
the  most  marvelous  statements  as  facts  which  need  not  call  forth 
wonder.  Those  profound  inquiries  indicate  the  widening  in- 
telligence of  a  child.  He  inquires  because  he  is  a  thinker,  a  phi- 
losopher, an  investigator.  His  inquiries  are  answered  freely  and 
frankly  until  he  becomes  interested  in  this  personal  relation  of 

264 


ADOLESCENCE— WHAT  SHALL  BE  TAUGHTP  265 

the  home  which  is  connected  with  himself,  when  he  meets  reti- 
cence, evasion,  or  positive  falsehood.  Yesterday,  perhaps,  he 
was  the  only  child  in  the  family.  To-day  another  child  is 
claimant  for  the  home  love.  When  he  naturally  asks  concern- 
ing the  advent  of  this  new  life,  in  all  probability  the  answer  is 
three  or  four  different  things.  He  may  be  told  not  to  ask  such 
questions;  he  may  be  told  a  partial  or  a  whole  falsehood,  or  he 
may  be  answered  in  a  metaphorical  way  which  arouses  further 
inquiry  in  his  mind. 

Now  if  you  should  suggest  to  the  mother  the  wisdom  of  teach- 
ing her  child  simply  and  truthfully  the  facts  concerning  the 
advent  of  this  new  life  she  would  perhaps  express  a  fear  of  putting 
the  child  to  thinking  on  wrong  lines.  But  he  is  already  thinking, 
and  it  is  important  to  direct  the  current  of  his  thoughts.  He 
can  be  taught  impurity;  and  he  can  be  taught  purity.  He  can 
learn  to  keep  an  evil  secret  frojn  mother;  he  can  also  learn  to 
keep  a  sacred  secret  with  mother.  But  what  good,  it  may  be 
asked,  is  accomplished  by  telling  children  in  their  youth  con- 
cerning these  mysteries  of  life  which  are  continually  unfold- 
ing before  them  ?  I  have  yet  to  learn  of  a  case  where  a  mother 
who  simply,  purely,  delicately  told  her  child  these  sacred  truths 
has  not  found  it  the  means  of  uniting  the  hearts  of  the  mother 
and  child  as  nothing  else  has  ever  done. 

A  child  should  be  taught  so  plainly,  so  purely,  so  scientifi- 
cally, that  he  will  know  he  is  learning  the  great  truths  of  nature, 
and  then  no  room  will  be  left  for  morbid  curiosity.  He  should 
be  taught  so  reverently  that  he  will  consider  himself  too  sacred 
for  evil  thoughts  or  words.  Most  particularly  I  would  have 
this  instruction  given  before  the  age  of  puberty.  That  is  an 
age  when  the  child  stands  on  the  borderland  between  childhood 
and  maturity,  with  the  emotions  of  the  mature  person  but  with 
the  limited  judgment  of  the  child.  I  would  have  this  information 
given  so  early  in  life  that,  when  the  child  reaches  this  period, 
when  the  inner  forces  are  beginning  to  be  felt,  when  the  whole 
organization  is  in  a  condition  of  storm  and  revolution,  there 
should  not  come  upon  him  suddenly  a  new  revelation,  but,  under- 
standing himself,  he  would  be  ready  to  receive  this  new  gift 
which  relates  him  with  the  race. 


266  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

Mothers  recognize  this  period  of  unrest  in  their  girls — re- 
gard them  with  anxiety,  perhaps  place  them  in  the  care  of  a 
physician — but  they  do  not  recognize  it  in  their  boys.  The 
boy  from  fourteen  to  eighteen  years  of  age,  beginning  to  feel 
the  dawning  of  manhood,  the  true  chivalrous  spirit,  which 
lightly  directed  will  make  him  a  noble  son,  a  true  brother,  an 
honorable,  good  husband  in  the  years  to  come — 'in  this  period 
of  life  he  should  be  the  object  of  special  care  and  sympathy. 

%fffl  <5*  v^ 

WHAT  PARENTS  SHOULD  TEACH  THEIR 
CHILDREN* 

BY  EDWARD  W.   BOK 

A  NUMBER  of  parents  have  written  to  this  magazine  with 
regard  to  its  discussion  of  a  greater  frankness  with 
their  children  on  the  mystery  of  life,  expressing  a  conviction  that 
we  are  correct  in  our  attitude,  but  also  expressing  here  a  doubt 
and  there  a  fear  as  to  its  wisdom,  A  few  of  the  questions  asked 
us  are  here  answered  for  the  benefit  of  other  parents  who  may 
find  themselves  in  the  same  uncertainty  of  mind. 

Who  Shall  "Tell":  the  Mother  or  Father? 

"  Which  is  best,  to  let  the  truth  come  to  boy  or  girl  from  the 
mother,  or  for  the  father  to  tell  the  boy  and  the  mother  the  girl?" 

No  ironclad  rule  can  be  laid  down:  everything  depends 
upon  circumstances.  But,  as  a  general  rule,  the  mother  is 
closer  to  the  boy  between  the  ages  of  six  and  ten,  when  he  should 
be  told,  than  is  the  father.  The  moments  of  close  companion- 
ship come  more  frequently  to  the  mother  in  the  home  than  to 
the  father  at  work,  and  those  are  the  golden  moments  to  take 
advantage  of.  Then,  the  average  boy  is  closer  to  his  mother: 
his  relation  with  her  seems  to  be  of  a  quicker  sympathy  and  an 

*Used  by  permission:  from  the  Editor's  Personal  Page,  "Ladies'  Home  Jour- 
nal ::  for  January,  1908. 


ADOLEjSCENCE—WHAT  SHALL  BE  TAUGHT?  267 

easier  understanding.  The  boy  looks  upon  his  father  more  with 
a  feehng  of  awe  or  respect,  sometimes  even  with  fear.  He  is 
more  apt  to  carry  his  troubles  or  confidences  to  his  mother,  and 
from  such  a  source  a  talk  is  always  more  effective. 

It  is  Better  to  be  too  Early  Than  too  Late 

"  What  is  the  earliest  age,  would  you  say,  that  a  child  should 
be'totd'?" 

This  all  depends  upon  the  child  and  his  surroundings.  But 
our  investigations  show  that  a  child  at  six  or  seven  is  not  too 
young  for  the  first  seeds  of  knowledge.  It  has  been  a  constant 
source  of  amazement  to  us  to  find  out  the  early  age  at  which  this 
question  is  discussed — 'and  perverted — among  children,  and  a 
parent's  teachings  should  invariably  precede  information  learned 
from  outside  sources.  It  is  better  to  be  too  early  than  too 
late. 

The  General  Effect  on  a  Young  Boy 

"  So  far  as  you  know,  what  has  been  the  effect  on  a  young 
boy  of  telling  him  the  truth  straight  from  the  shoulder?  ^^ 

Personally,  we  have  known  of  several  scores  of  cases:  from 
letters  we  have  heard  of  scores  more,  and  almost  without  ex- 
ception has  the  young  boy,  told  the  truth,  felt  a  new  love  and  a 
higher  reverence  for  his  mother.  The  testimonies  of  mothers 
who  have  experienced  this  are  manifold. 

A  Common  Topic  with  Children  of  Six  or  Seven 

"Do  you  mean  to  say  that  you  know  authoritative  cases,  in- 
stances that  you  can  believe,  where  children  at  six  or  seven  have 
been  found  to  talk  about  this  subject?" 

Talk  with  any  school-teacher  or  any  woman  connected  with 
children's  schools,  and  ask  her,  and  we  think  you  can  get  all 
the  evidence  you  want  that  not  only  have  there  been  instances 
where  children  have  been  found  talking  about  this  subject, 


268  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

but  that,  moreover,  it  is  a  common  topic  of  talk.  That  is 
where  the  ignorance  or  unwillingness  of  parents  to  believe  is  so 
lamentable  and  criminal  in  the  eyes  of  those  who  know.  They 
have  no  idea  of  what  is  in  the  minds  of  their  children.  They 
like  to  believe  that  their  "child"  is  what  they  call  "innocent," 
and  they  labor  under  this  fatal  delusion  until  some  fearful 
revelation  shocks  them,  as  happened  in  the  case  of  the  Chicago 
school  attended  by  the  children  of  some  of  the  "best"  and  so- 
called  "careful"  homes  of  the  neighborhood.  The  revelations 
here  disclosed  were  "shocking"  to  the  parents,  and  mothers 
were  "prostrated"  when  they  heard  of  the  doings  of  their 
"  innocent  lambs  " ! 

Is   There   a   Danger   in   Physical   Books? 

"  Take  a  boy  of  sixteen:  don't  you  think  that  to  give  him  a 
book  about  his  physical  self  might  awaken  evil  thoughts  as  likely 
as  it  might  prove  a  warning?" 

In  no  respect.  No  boy  or  young  man,  it  is  safe  to  say, 
was  ever  led  into  immorality  by  reading  a  good  book  on  its 
dangers.  One  might  as  well  argue  that  he  would  drink  more 
freely  from  a  typhoid-infected  water-supply  when  told  of  its 
dangers.     The  truth  is  never  dangerous. 

When  the  Father  Should  Come  In 

"If  the  mother  tells  a  boy  is  he  not  apt  to  feel  or  think,  'She's 
a  woman:  she  doesn't  understand  us'? — which  would,  of  course, 
not  be  the  case  where  the  word  comes  from  the  father." 

That  is  sometimes  true.  Where  the  mother  sees  or  feels 
that  such  an  impression  exists,  then  the  father  should  come  in 
and  talk  as  one  man  to  another.  Of  course,  boys  love  to  be 
talked  to  as  men,  as  if  they  are  regarded  the  equals  of  their 
fathers,  and,  put  on  that  plane,  they  can  sometimes  be  reached 
or  appealed  to  where  any  other  means  fails.  And,  by  the  use 
of  simple  words  and  by  dropping  into  the  language  of  boys,  the 
story  can  be  very  effectively  told. 


ADOLESCENCE— WHAT  SHALL  BE  TAUGHT?  269 


The  Best  Book  for  Parents 

"What  one  hook,  better  than  any  other,  would  you  say  can 
help  parents  to  tell  the  story  without  fear  of  bungling  7  I  do 
not  mean  a  book  to  put  into  the  hands  of  the  boy  or  girl,  but  one 
intended  for  tJie  parent. " 

We  have  been  loath  to  recommend  books  on  this  subject, 
because,  while  it  is  perfectly  safe  to  do  so  in  individual  cases, 
a  general  recommendation  may  be  unwise.  Yet  there  are  a 
number  of  books  on  the  subject  that  are  excellent.  Perhaps 
as  a  book  for  parents  we  would  single  out,  as  to  our  minds  the 
best  of  them  all,  that  called  "The  Renewal  of  Life,"  by  Mar- 
garet Warner  Morley,  published  a  year  or  so  ago  by  Messrs. 
A.  C.  McClurg  and  Company,  of  Chicago.  Its  price  is  $1.25. 
This  book  has  the  advantage  of  covering  the  subject  in  a  sim- 
ple, natural,  intelligent  manner,  making  the  story  one  of  pro- 
gression rather  than  an  immediate  and  sudden  unfolding  of  a 
mystery.  It  is,  also,  free  of  scientific  expressions  and  is  easily 
grasped.  Then  it  gives  a  good  list  of  other  reliable  books  on 
the  subject  for  those  who  want  to  go  further  or  who  want  to 
put  a  book  into  the  hands  of  a  child. 

Where  the  Boy  has  No  Father 

"/  confess  I  am  afraid,  but  I  would  like  some  man  to  talk 
to  my  boy  of  ten.  My  husband  is  dead,  and  I  am  not  quite  sure 
of  any  man  in  our  immediate  family.  Would  you  ask  our 
minister?" 

Ask  your  physician,  if  you  are  sure  he  is  to  be  relied  upon 
and  is  a  man  who  believes  rightly  and  has  tact  and  judgment. 
There  is  no  more  dangerous  man  in  the  world  to  talk  to  a  young 
boy  on  this  subject  than  the  wrong  physician,  since  what  he 
says  naturally  carries  authoritative  weight.  But  a  good  physi- 
cian, a  man  of  upright  principles,  with  a  firm  belief  that  every 
child  should  know  himself,  and  who  is  capable  of  getting  away 
from  technical  terms  and  telling  the  boy  in  a  simple  way,  is 
an  ideal  person  for  you  to  enlist  in  your  service. 


270  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 


Does  Telling  Fix  Children's  Mends  on  the  Topic? 

"  It  seems  to  be  the  conviction  of  some  mothers  I  know  that 
to  talk  to  a  young  child  on  this  subject  of  life  is  apt  to  fix  the 
child's  mind  upon  it,  and  that  he  is  likely  to  become  morbid  on 
the  topic.     This  is  not  your  view,  I  take  it?" 

It  is  not,  and  either  the  mothers  you  speak  of  have  never 
told  their  children,  or  they  have  had  unfortunate  or  exceptional 
experiences.  It  certainly  has  not  so  resulted  with  the  children 
of  parents  we  know  who  have  told.  With  them  exactly  the 
reverse  has  been  found.  To  know  a  fact  is  to  be  no  longer 
curious  about  it.  Is  that  not  true?  That  is  human  nature, 
whether  child  or  adult.  If  you  leave  a  child  nothing  to  be 
curious  about  why  should  he  be  curious?  Satisfy  a  child's 
curiosity  and  you  satisfy  him. 

Can  the  Child  Understand? 

"  My  boy  of  eight  has  begun  to  ask  me  questions,  but  I  cannot 
convince  myself  that  he  would  be  able  to  understand  if  I  did  tell 
him  the  truth.     Is  my  analysis  wrong?" 

It  is,  because  it  is  safe  to  assume,  as  a  general  rule,  that  a 
child  who  is  able  to  ask  a  question  is  able  to  understand  an 
answer.  This  is  not  always  true,  of  course,  but,  in  the  main,  it 
holds  good.  Then,  it  is  safer  to  tell  the  truth  to  the  child,  because 
in  that  case  you  have  only  one  story  to  tell,  and  later  there  is 
nothing  to  deny.  No  one  has  ever  been  able  to  prove  how 
much  a  child  can  really  understand,  but  the  weight  of  evidence 
leans  toward  the  conviction  that  a  child  generally  understands 
more  than  elders  think  he  does. 

Not  the  Whole  Story  at  Once 

"  You  certainly  do  not  mean  that  you  would  tell  a  child  the 
whole  story,  do  you?  The  mother's  part,  I  can  see,  but  how 
about  the  father's  j)art? 


ADOLESCENCE— WHAT  SHALL  BE  TAUGHT?  271 

Of  course,  we  do  not  mean  to  tell  a  child  the  whole  story, 
any  more  than  you  teach  him  the  whole  alphabet  at  once,  or 
addition,  subtraction,  and  multiplication  all  at  the  same  time. 
The  mother's  part  in  the  story  should  always  come  first:  then; 
later,  the  father's  part. 

Leaving  a  Child  Ignorant  of  the  Story 

"  Do  you  hold  it  to  be  preferable  to  run  the  risk  of  a  child's 
misunderstanding  what  you  may  tell  him  than  to  allow  him  to 
remain  ignorant  of  the  story  of  life?'" 

The  child  cannot  remain  ignorant.  If  he  could  the  argu- 
ment might  be  in  favor  of  the  parents  saying  nothing.  But 
where  the  parents  fail  to  do  their  duty  of  enlightening  the  child 
he  may  be  depended  upon  to  learn  it  from  others:  nine  chances 
to  one,  he  will  learn  it  in  a  dangerous  manner.  That  is  the 
cruel  part  of  the  present  policy  of  silence:  the  silence  is  only 
on  the  part  of  the  parents. 

The  Age  to  Tell  the  Story 

"/  agree  with  you  as  to  the  wisdom  of  telling  the  truth  to 
children  on  this  subject,  and  am  now  preparing  myself  to  talk 
to  my  son  of  seven.  But  the  more  I  look  at  him  and  think  of 
telling  him,  the  less  I  can  agree  with  you  that  at  so  early  an  age 
it  is  wise.     On  what  do  you  base  your  statement  as  to  this  age?" 

We  never  fixed  an  age  limit  for  the  telling  of  this  story  to  a 
child.  That  depends  too  much  upon  the  child  and  his  surround- 
ings. But  psychologists  have  determined  this  fact  about  the 
receptiveness  of  a  child  in  his  training  by  parents:  that  the  funda- 
mental principles  of  all  child-training  must  be  laid  and  completed 
by  the  age  of  seven;  that  the  basic  work  is,  with  the  average  child, 
finished  then,  and  that  all  subsequent  training  is  more  or  less 
a  repetition  of  what  has  gone  before.    If  that  is  true — and  the 


272  THE  MOTHERS'  BOOK 

fact  has  never,  to  our  knowledge,  been  disproved,  but,  on  the 
contrary,  verified  scores  of  times — the  greatest  story  of  all  that  we 
can  tell  our  children  should  be  told  by  the  age  of  seven,  as  a 
general  thing.  Not  all  of  it,  of  course,  any  more  than  the 
whole  of  history  is  told  and  taught  in  one  school  term.  That 
would  be  absurd,  and  he  would  not  understand  it.  But  the 
beginning  of  the  story  should  be  told  through  the  flowers,  the 
animals,  or  whatever  phase  of  life  is  handiest. 

The  Objection  to  the  Stork  Story 

^^What  objection  is  there  to  holding  to  the  ^ stork'  theory, 
upon  which  so  many  of  us  have  been  brought  up?'' 

Because  it  is  a  lie  which  the  child  soon  finds  out.  And  the 
awakening  of  a  child  to  a  lie  is  fraught  with  danger.  If  a  child 
gets  it  into  his  head  that  he  learns  things  wrong  from  his  parents 
and  learns  the  truth  from  outside  sources,  the  danger  is  ob- 
vious. Besides,  the  child  is  "entitled  to  the  truth.  It  is  his 
right,  and  it  is  his  greatest  weapon  of  defense  when  he  goes 
out  into  the  world.  Parents  seem  to  fail  to  realize  that  a  child 
has  as  much  right  to  the  speaking  of  the  truth  by  the  parents  as 
they  have  to  exact  the  truth  from  the  child. 

The  Oft-Repeated  Question:  How? 

^^  After  reading  all  you  have  said  on  the  question  of  telling 
the  children,  I  do  not  yet  get  it  through  my  mind  which  is  the 
simplest,  clearest,  and  safest  way  to  tell  the  child.  Will  you 
answer  this  question  directly?" 

It  cannot  be  answered  directly,  because  everything  depends 
upon  the  intelligence  of  the  parent  and  the  temperament  of  the 
child.  One  child,  fond  of  nature,  may  be  reached  more  surely 
through  the  lesson  of  the  flowers;  another,  fond  of  animals, 
would  realize  the  story  best  through  the  animal  lesson;  another, 
by  the  advent  of  another  little  one;  and  so  it  goes.     This 


ADOLESCENCE— WHAT  SHALL  BE  TAUGHT?  273 

magazine  has  been,  in  its  different  articles,  as  concrete  as  it  is 
possible  to  be  as  to  the  ways  and  manner  in  which  the  story 
can  be  told.  It  has  told  of  the  various  ways  that  are  open  and 
how  other  parents  have  told  their  children.  But  no  single 
rule  that  is  at  all  safe  to  go  by  can  be  laid  down  that  will  apply 
to  all  children.  That  must  be  decided  by  the  parent  who  knows 
her  child. 


Sntiex 


Adolescence— what  shall  be 

taught?         .... 

264 

Air,  fresh 

. 

119 

Alcohol  and  the  child 

. 

253 

Ambition 

. 

25 

Animal  study 

»        • 

27 

Application    . 

. 

29 

Art          .        .        . 

■  4.31 

,174 

Athletics  and  health 

•               • 

32 

Attention 

• 

34 

B 

Baby,  naming  the 

210 

Behavior 

• 

4 

Boy  and  his  den,  the 

•               • 

222 

♦•Breaking  His  Will" 

220 

Bullying 

219 

235 

6 


Character-building    in   edu 

cation 
Chart  of  child-training 

How  to  use  ...         I 

Cheerfulness  14, 35, 136 

Child,  fitting  a        .  .     214 

Child,  food  of  the  growing   .     120 
Children,    feeble-minded, 

needs  of  ...  .  244 
Children  and  guests  .  .  218 
Children's  hour,  a  .  .217 
Child-training         .         .  .  i,  12 

Chart  of      ....         6 
Chivalry         ...         19,  38 


PACK 
•  41 

■        154 
.  42 

•      44 
13.4^ 


Citizenship,  training  for 


186 


Cleanliness    . 

Commands,  reasonable 

Contentment 

Conversation 

Courage 

Culture,  see  Home   Study; 

Manners;  Reading. 
Curiosity        ....      46 

D 

Daughters,  training  our        .  241 
Deaf,  how  and  when  to  teach 

speech  to  the        .         .         .  251 

Democratic  spirit  20 

Den,  the  boy  and  his      .         .  222 

Development  and  discipline  117 

Dietetics        ....  232 

Discipline,  development  and  117 
Discipline,  justice  necessary 

to 153 

Discipline,  parental       .         .  147 

Distinctions, moralandsocial  21 

Dress,  the  child's  .         .         .  124 
Duty ,  see  Honor  ;  Honesty  ; 

Loyalty. 


Education,  character -build- 
ing in  ....     235 

Education,  humane,  in  early 
training         ....     246 

Emulation,  see  Imitation 
AND  Emulation. 

Execution,  precision  in        .       18 

Exercise         ....        5 


275 


$^6 


The  Mothers'  Book 


PAGE 


Feeble-minded   children, 

needs  of  ...  •  244 
Fight,  shall  your  boy  .  .  207 
Firmness  ...  50.  i53 
Food  of  the  growing  child  120 
Friendship  .        .      52 


Qames 

• 

5 

Generosity     . 

• 

54 

Gentleman,  the 

• 

55 

Girl  of  fifteen,  the 

• 

193 

Growing  child,  food  of  the 

.     120 

Guests,  children  and 

• 

.     218 

H 

Habits 57 

Handicraft,  the  child  and     .  170 

Health,  care  of       .         .        •  "7 

Heroism         .        .        •        •  59 

Holidays,  use  and  abuse  of  212 

Home,  the  child's           .        .  135 

Home,  the  homelike       .        .  188 

Home,  pleasures  at        .        .  i37 

Home  study  .        .        .60,  141 
Honesty         .        .        .        .62 

Honor 64 

Honor,  official        ...  20 

Honor,  sense  of  personal        .  17 

Humor 66 


I 


Imagination  . 

.      67 

Imitation        .        .        .        . 

12 

Imitation  and  Emulation 

.      70 

Impertinence,  two  sorts  of 

■     199 

Independence 

.       16 

Industry,  see  Application 

) 

Perseverance;  Work. 

Investigation,    see   Curios 

- 

ity;  Reading;  Observa 

- 

TION. 

FAGB 


Justice  necessary  to  disci- 
pline     153 

K 

Kindness        .        .        .         14^72 
Knowledge,  creeping  into    .    214 


Life,  training  a  child  for 

185 

Literature,  importance  of,  tc 

youth    

259 

Loyalty           .        .        .        . 

74 

Loyalty  to  ideals  . 

21 

Loyalty  to  persons 

17 

Loyalty  to  principle 

.      19 

M 

Manliness,  see  The  Gentle- 
man; Chivalry. 
Manners        ....      75 
Memory -training  .        .      78 

Mischief  .        .        .82 

Money,  the  child  and    .         .     166 
Mother,  wife  and  .         .         .     223 
Mother  and  sons,   associa- 
tion of  ....     198 
Music     ....       84,  174 

N 

Naming  the  baby          .        .  210 
Natural    law,     reproduction 

and 230 

Nature,  the  child  and     .         .  182 

Nature -study          .         ,        •  85 

Noisy,  may  children  be         .  211 

o 

Obedience              .        .       87,151 
Observation  and  love  of  na- 
ture       89 

1  Order,  training  in  .        •     i63 


Index 


277 


p 

PAGE 

A. 

PACK 

Self-direction 

13 

Parenthood,  sympathetic 

• 

238 

Self°reliance,  see  Courage; 

Patience         .        , 

• 

91 

Firmness;     Honesty; 

Patriotism 

• 

92 

Sense     of     Personal 

Perseverance 

I 

8,94 

Honor. 
Self-training 

Physical  start  in   life, 

the 

208 

child's 

117 

Sincerity        .... 

H 

Play         .... 

95 

Sleep,  importance  of,  for  in- 

Play and  playmates 

131 

fants     ..... 

118 

Pleasures  at  home 

137 

Society 

1 03 

Pluck      .... 

97 

Speaking  and  its  faults 

197 

Punctuality,  training  in 

162 

Speech,    how  and   when   to 
teach,  to  the  deaf 

251 

Q 

Story-telling 

Study,  home           .        .       60 

104 
141 
204 

Quietness,  necessity   of, 

for 

Submission   ...       12 

infants 

* 

117 

Sunday,  the  child's 
Sympathy     .... 

1 

178 
107 

R 

Reading 

t.98 

143 

T 

Reasonableness    . 

• 

13 

Temper,  and  how  to  meet  it 

203 

Refinement    . 

. 

17 

Tenacity    of   Purpose,    see 

Reproduction     and     natural 

Perseverance;    Firm- 

law       .... 

• 

230 

ness. 

Reserve,  personal 

• 

16 

Thinking,  about    . 

109 

Respect 

• 

17 

Thoroughness 

112 

Responsibility,  civic    . 

• 

39 

Training  a  child  for  life 

'85 

Responsibility,  sense  of 

16,  23 

Training  the  child's  will    . 

220 

Reverence 

. 

18 

Training  our  daughters 

241 

Room,  the  child's 

, 

128 

Trustworthiness 

16 

Roosevelt,  President, address 

Truthfulness         .        15,  113 

,156 

by         .... 

• 

224 

s 

U 
Unselfishness 

IS 

School,  the  child's 

• 

139 

School,  public  vs.  private 

• 

140 

W 

School,  shall  the  boy  staj 

'  in 

206 

School-work,  help  in   . 

, 

142 

Wife  and  mother   . 

223 

Science  .... 

• 

4 

Will,  training  the  child's 

220 

Self-amusement  . 

• 

13 

Womanliness 

19 

Self-control  . 

100 

159 

Work,household,for  children 

136 

Self-culture  . 

• 

24 

Work,  school,  help  in    . 

143 

Home,  School  and  Vacation 


By  ANNIE  WINSOR  ALLEN 

HOUGHTON  MTFFLIN  COMPANY,  Publishers 
BOSTON,  MASS. 


A  most  excellent  work  for  the  use  of  parents  and 
teachers  in  the  training  of  their  children,  both 
mentally  and  7norally,  from  infancy  to  the  age  of 
eighteen.    This  inclusiveness  is  its  ?nain  distinction. 

The  following  is  its  range  according  to  division  heads: 

Parent  and  Expert 

The  Nature  of  Schooling 

A  General  Scheme  of  Education 

A  Few  Simple  Facts 

Pedagogic  Theories 

Home  Teaching  in  Babyhood 

Good  Reading 

Discipline 

Amusements 

Health 

A  Table  of  Beginnings 


This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below 

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